Poison Hearts

by Brenda Thomas; Shirley Dicks

  "Really Maureen, don't worry about me so much. It's only a stomach flu. I went a few months back to my doctor and he gave me some medicine, remember. Said it was probably the 24 hour bug. I did feel better after taking the medicine for a while. Don't worry, it's nothing." Christina smiled and told Maureen to go on and have fun bowling.

  Maureen grabbed her coat as she headed towards the living room to see if Rusty was ready. "All right, but get some rest and I'll see you later.

  Chapter Eight

  Within a few days it was time for Rusty and Andrew to leave. Maureen had never felt this way about anyone before. She was really going to miss Rusty. At least they would be seeing each other in a few weeks. The mansion seemed to be so lonely now. As Christina and Maureen sat out on the veranda having a cup of hot tea and enjoying the quiet, Christina looked at her.

  “I'm getting worried about Lauren. Her mother is worse and I'm afraid she's going to die before too much longer."

  "Well, that's her problem." Maureen started then stopped at the look on Christina's face. "I'm sorry Christina, but you know how I feel about her. There is something about her that I don't trust or like. I know it was very unkind of me to say that, but for the life of me I don't know why you insist on having her around here."

  "I really like the girl and I think she's had a rough time of it. She's never talked about her father, but I know her mother did the best she could with her all these years until she came down sick. She's a good worker and she tries so hard to please me. I just wished she would move her mother to the guesthouse so she'd be more comfortable. I know the building she lives in and it's an awful place."

  "I still don’t trust her. Lauren is up to something. You mark my words.”

  “Maureen, can we change the subject now?” Christina asked beginning to get a little annoyed with her sister.

  “I’m sorry. So when are you going to see Andrew again?”

  “He may come up next weekend. I finally told him how much I loved him. I didn’t think I would be able to love anyone after Tyler.”

  "I'm so happy for you Christina. Even when I acted like a fool, I always loved you. I admit I was jealous of the things you had and the money and position that enabled you to have a wonderful life...and I'm sorry for all the mean things I said to you over the years." Maureen felt the tears welling up in her eyes as she looked at her older sister and realized how much she loved her.

  "Forget it," Christina said as she put her hand over Maureen's. "I know you had problems in the past. In addition, I even know about the drugs. I figured there would come a day when you would want to quit and really mean it. I've even read up on some of it so I know how hard it is for anyone who has been using cocaine for such a long time to stop, but I know you can do it. You’ve got pop’s determination and can do anything you set your mind to."

  "Oh Christina...you don't know what that means to me." sobbed Maureen putting her head down on the table. Christina let her cry it out for few minutes then handed her a tissue to wipe her eyes.

  "I knew you didn't mean the things you said sometimes. And I'll admit that you really hurt me when you said hateful things...but I also know that people on drugs say and do the worst things that they don't mean most of the time."

  "I didn't mean them Christina, and I've got to tell you something. Something I hope you'll forgive me for. I'm so ashamed." Maureen lowered her eyes and wiped them before continuing on. "It was me that stole those figurines. I sold them to get drugs. I knew it was wrong but I had to have them. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for doing that. I'm so sorry."

  "I know you are Maureen and I've already forgiven you. I knew you had stolen those things and blamed them on Lauren. I was there one day when you thought I was sleeping. I saw you take one of them and put it in your purse, then hurry out the door. I knew from the look in your eyes, the dark circles, and the way you changed your moods that you were back on the drugs so I didn't say anything."

  "But why...why didn't you throw me out of the house. I might have stolen all you had. Why didn't you just tell me to leave and not return?"

  "You’re my sister. It's that simple. I love you, mean temper and all."

  Maureen started crying all over again and Christina got up and put her arm around her. "I feel so awful...I wish you'd yelled at me or something. Anything but to say you love me. I feel like a rotten person for doing that to you. I promise you it will never happen again."

  "I know it won't Maureen. I believe you this time. I've noticed the past month that you've tried to stop. I could tell from the moods, the yelling and screaming. I know it's painful and I wish you'd let me pay for you to go to a program and do it right. I have enough money and I would like to do it for you."

  "No thanks Christina, Rusty is going to get a cabin and he's going to stay with me this coming weekend for a week. If I can make it that long, I'll be fine. I want to do this on my own. It was my fault I got started in the first place and it's only right I get myself off."

  "When did you tell Rusty?" Christina asked as she sat back down. She knew why Rusty had stayed close to Maureen the last couple of weeks. He was trying to protect her and help her when it got too much for her.

  "It happened after the first time we made love. He told me how great he thought I was and I felt so guilty that I blurted it out. He said he had already guessed it was something like that. It seems he runs a house for kids who get hooked on drugs and want to get clean. He knows the signs and saw them in me. That's why he put up with me; you know how mean I was in the beginning to him. Now I can't imagine life without him. If he asks me to marry him after I'm clean, I'm going to say yes." Maureen blushed and with a laugh she looked like a young girl again.

  "I'm so happy for you Maureen and I know you two will find happiness together. I liked Rusty the first time he came here. In fact I was so mad at you when you were so rude to him. I figured he would hate you and leave. But he didn't. He still hung around and I knew then that he was in love with you."

  "I hope so. I hope he asks me to marry him. That's all I want now, to be his wife and have a good life together, maybe even have a child. I won't make the same mistake again like I did the first time. I don’t know why I thought I had to have money to be happy, or why I thought only a rich man could make me happy. After falling in love with Rusty, I know it’s not the money, but the person inside. I just met the wrong men before."

  "It won't be easy though. Are you sure you don't want to go in a regular drug rehab. I'll get you in the very best one we can find. You'll have medicine you can take when it gets too bad that way."

  "No. I mean it when I say I want to do it on my own. With Rusty's help of course. It was his idea. I'll take the bus this weekend and Rusty will meet me and take me to the cabin. He’s already rented it and says it's peaceful and quiet. I'll go as outpatient here when I'm finished."

  "Well, all right. If you're sure this is what you want to do."

  "I'm sure sis. Well, guess I'd better get ready to go into town. Going to get me a new sexy nightgown just in case I have some good moments out there. What are you doing today?"

  "I don't really know yet. I was supposed to meet Sally but my stomach is acting up again, so I may just stay here and rest."

  “I wish you would go to the doctor Christina. This isn’t right. There is something wrong with you and it’s not just a bug. I’m really worried. Maybe I should stay home with you.”

  “You’ll do no such thing. I’ll be fine and if this doesn’t clear up by the time you get back; I promise I will make an appointment with the doctor and go. You can go with me if it will make you feel better.”

  “All right. You promised. I couldn’t stand it if I was to lose you sis. Even though I don’t say it often, you mean the world to me. I know we’ve had our spats in the past and I’ll admit most of the fault was mine, but you’re my sister and I love you.”

  “I know you do Maureen. You always had a hard time showing it, or even saying I love you. Howev
er, I do know it. I’ll be fine; just don’t you worry about me, go and get yourself straightened out.

  Lauren raced up the stairs to their apartment. The visiting nurse that day had found her mother in bad shape and called her at work. As she burst into the door, she saw the nurse waiting for her in the kitchen.

  "Mother...how is my mother?" Lauren screamed running to the bedroom before getting an answer. The bed was empty and Lauren screamed. "NOoooooo....is she dead? She can't die...she can't." Lauren felt her knees buckle and she fell on the bed.

  "No dear your mother is doing all right. She wasn't breathing very well this morning when I got here so I called the ambulance. They took her to the hospital and she's doing better."

  "Thank God," Lauren sobbed. "I can't bear the thought of losing my mother. She's all I have in this world. She's the only reason I keep going...." Lauren began crying loudly as a glazed look of despair began to spread over her face. She swallowed hard and bit back the tears as the nurse came over and put her arm around Lauren's shoulder.

  "I'm sorry dear if I gave you a fright. However, although your mother is doing better right now, you must know the end is near. She can hardly breathe and I think she's hanging on for you. She's told me how much she wanted for you to be settled with a young man who would take care of you before she went but she was really bad this morning."

  "Oh God...why my mother? She's the best person in the world. I can't lose her. Isn't there something you can do for her?"

  "Now Lauren you knew that she couldn't last forever. She's done so well lately, but with emphysema once the lungs are gone, there isn't very much we can do. She's resting comfortable right now and breathing better than she was this morning, but for long term I'm afraid I can't hold out too much hope."

  "I've got to get to the hospital to see her." Lauren grabbed her sweater and ran out the door before waiting for an answer.

  As Lauren walked into ICU, she saw her mother lying so still in the bed, her face white as if she were already dead. "Mother are you all right?" she whispered.

  Carol opened her eyes, and looked at Lauren a moment as if too weak to talk. Finally she smiled a faint smile and held out her hand. "Don't look so scared Lauren, I'm fine...really I am. I can't live forever you know."

  Lauren burst into tears as she bent down to kiss her mother. "Don't talk like that mother. I can't bear to lose you."

  "Now dear, I'm tired and ready to go on. I’ve made my peace with the Lord and it’s only a matter of time now. I want to make sure my little girl is going to be taken care of. That's what I'm waiting for sweetheart. I wanted you to find a nice young man and get married....then I could go and not have to worry about you...." Carols voice got weaker as she dozed off.

  Lauren felt the tears sliding down her face, onto her blouse as she watched her mother. She knew how much she was suffering. It was a terrible disease and took its toll on Carol so fast, or so it seemed to her. Still, she couldn't bear the thought of losing her. Not now, now when she was so close to having the money that was due her. Due her and her mother that would put them in the big house.

  "I'm sorry miss, you'll have to leave now. Visiting hours are over," the nurse said as she came into the room.

  "How is my mother doing?" Lauren asked. She had a need to hear it over and over that her mother was going to make it.

  "The doctor will talk to you later. He'll be in around six o'clock and left word that he'd talk to you at that time. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you any more than that." The nurse turned and walked out of the room, with Lauren close behind. Tears still streaming down her face. How she wished she had a close friend, someone who could be here at this terrible time. However, she had driven away all her friends, even Leonard. She had sent him away long ago, and the last she heard he was seeing a nice girl.

  Walking to the waiting room, Lauren sat down, looking around she saw an old man dozing off in his chair, a young lady holding a child in her lap, her eyes red and swollen from crying. Lauren hated hospitals, and had this dreaded feeling that her mother was not going to come home again.

  What was she going to do? She had no idea. She thought of calling Christina, but she couldn't do that. Not Christina. Still, she was the only one who really seemed to care about her. Christina had treated her like a daughter and had tried very hard to become friends. It was because Lauren herself pulled back that they had not become close and for the first time Lauren felt totally alone in the world and she didn't like the feeling. However, she had a mission to do, and by God she was going to finish what she had started.

  She waited for what seemed forever before the doctor came in to talk to her.

  “If you’ll step out in the hall Lauren, I’ll tell you about your mother.” He turned and led the way out the door. Lauren held her breath as she waited for the news she knew she was not going to like.

  “I’m sorry Lauren, but the end is near. You’re mother has lasted much longer than I thought she would. She’s in pain most of the time from not being able to breathe.”

  “No she can’t die. You have to save her, she’s all I have in the world. Please don’t let her die.” Lauren’s face crumpled and she felt her knees buckled under her.

  “Nurse,” the doctor yelled as he caught Lauren before she fainted. He sat her down on the wheel chair that was in the hall. The nurses came running over with smelling salt, their eyes full of pity.

  “What happened?” Lauren asked as she was brought back to consciousness. Then she remembered and began to cry. “Isn’t there anything you can do for her doctor, she’s so young. It’s not time for her to die.”

  “I’m sorry Lauren. I really am. I’ve tried the past year to get you used to the thought that your mother would not be here much longer. We’ve done all we can do and now it’s just a matter of time. If you would like a sedative, I can give you a prescription. Is there anyone I can call for you?”

  “I just told you that she’s all I have in the world. Why God, are you taking her from me? WHY” Lauren put her face in her hands and wept as the doctor stood there. This was not happening. Not now when she was so close. Finally the doctor spoke.

  “If you decide you want something to help you sleep or get through this give me a call.”

  “I don’t want anything. Just keep my mother alive.”

  He turned and walked away as she continued to cry oblivious of anyone around her.

  "Well what do you think?" Rusty said bringing the car to a stop in front of a cabin with a lake behind it. They had driven for over a half hour up the mountain road. However, was it was worth it.

  "Oh Rusty, it's beautiful and so peaceful up here. Whose cabin is this?"

  "It belongs to a friend of mine. I told him I needed to get away for some fishing and rest and he suggested I come up here. You don't get many people wandering around this far out, and he said the trout are the best this time of year. I brought up a couple of fishing poles in case you'd care to try your hand at it. All we have to do is dig us some worms and we’ll be all set." Rusty laughed at the look on Maureen's face. He guessed she had never gone fishing before. He knew this wasn't going to be easy for Maureen. At least he would be there to comfort and hold her when it got bad. He had watched the kids that came in for treatment in the program as they detoxed but this time would be different. This time the patient was someone he loved.

  "I don't know if I like the idea of putting those worms on the hook. Ugh....that's cruel. Anyhow, I don't like fish. "

  Rusty opened the trunk and took out the small suitcase Maureen had brought.

  "I'm surprised you only brought one suitcase. I figured we'd have the car loaded."

  "I didn't think there would be any need for much more than my jeans and blouses and of course my pajamas.

  Rusty, are you sure you know what you're in for? I can get pretty mean and hateful when I don't get the drugs. I remember the last time I went to drug rehab....." Maureen's voice trailed off as she looked beseechingly at Rusty.

  He held
out his arms and she went into the comfort of his strong arms.

  "Don't worry Maureen. We'll do this together. I've worked with drug addicts for a long time. I know how rough it can get." Rusty held her tight as she cried.

  “Let’s get some coffee,” she finally said as she regained her composure. She walked into the cabin and started the coffee. In the kitchen was a modern dinette set and yellow curtains. The living room had a beautiful black overstuffed sofa and matching chair. She noticed there were no pictures on the wall, and no television set in the room. Not that she would need to watch tv with Rusty around. She felt herself getting hyper, her stomach began to knot up and her hands were shaking. It was time for more coke. But she hadn't brought any up to the cabin. She was going to do it this time, if it killed her.

  "Well, how do you like it?" Rusty asked putting down her suitcase in the other room. He turned and saw the pain in her eyes and knew it had started.

  "It's beautiful," Maureen said. She looked at Rusty and began to cry.

  "It's starting all ready isn't it sweetheart?"

  "Yes...but it's not very bad."

  "Well you can take a long hot bubble bath while I fix us a lunch if you want. That will calm you down."

  "All right. Hey how did you know there was bubble bath in here?" she shouted as she took the bubble bath down from the closet. The bath tub was big and spacious, big enough for two she thought again.

  "I've been up here fishing before with my friend. I like bubble baths myself but don't you ever tell anyone," he laughed as he came into the room.

  Maureen had just taken her clothes off and was fixing the water. He marveled at her beauty, her long brown hair down her back. She turned around and caught him admiring her, so she smiled a big smile that lit her whole face.

  He bent down to give her a kiss when suddenly she pulled him in the tub with her, clothes and all.