Loving His Forever

by LeAnn Ashers

  “What happened to the man?” I ask anxiously.

  “He’s in jail, but he will probably be out by tonight.” He shakes his head angrily.

  “I hope she gets away,” I whisper, lost in thought.

  “Me too, Angel.” He grabs my hand and presses a kiss on the back.

  A few minutes later, we pull up in front of a steak house. “I’ll help you out.” He slams his door shut before I can suggest otherwise.

  Twisting in my seat, I open the door. Ethan’s raises a hand for me to take. I look at it for a second before my small hand goes into his warm calloused one.

  “You ready for this, Brae?” he asks me one last time. He searches my face, looking for any doubt, but I don’t have any. I’ve got to do this.

  “No, Ethan, but I need to do this.”

  He smirks at me. “Well, let’s go then.” His hand goes to the small of my back, and I lean into his side protectively as he leads me through the parking lot to the front entrance.

  People exit as soon as we reach the door. A man accidently brushes me. I stiffen and close my eyes. Ethan pulls me tighter against him and out of the man’s way.

  He opens the door, and we walk into the darkly lit restaurant that smells like steaks and fried things; that smell alone has me starving. I want to put on all the pounds I can so I don’t look so sickly; I never want to be this small again.

  The waitress looks up at us and grabs two menus. “Table for two?” She’s really pretty, and I can’t help but notice the way she is staring at Ethan. Licking my lips, I look up at Ethan nervously, and much to my surprise, he’s not staring at her but at me. I shift uncomfortably under his gaze. I watch as the lady in front of us looks at me funny. I know what she’s thinking. Why is someone like that standing beside someone like me?

  “This way,” she tells us and walks toward the back of the restaurant. Ethan tucks me closely to his side again. The eyes that stare at us as we pass have my mind on alert. I’m scared, and on top of that, I feel self-conscious to the point I want to run back outside and hide in the truck. Ethan’s hand curls tighter around my waist, almost like he knows exactly what I’m thinking. I bite my lip nervously in an effort to distract myself from these thoughts.

  “Relax, baby, I got you.” Ethan’s warm breath tickles my ear as he reassures me. The lady motions us toward a booth and sets the menus on the table. Ethan lets go of me, and I feel exposed instantly.

  He sits down in front of me. I can feel him watching me, but I don’t look up as I pick up the menu. My hands shake so bad I can barely get my menu open, let alone hold it straight.

  “Braelyn.”

  I peek over the menu at him. I am so scared right now. People are staring at me, and every time someone walks by, I jump out of my skin.

  “Want me to come sit beside you?” he asks softly as he senses my fear. Weakly, I nod my head and scoot farther into the booth, feeling immensely relieved but kind of ashamed of myself for depending on someone like this.

  He scoots his menu in the place where I was just sitting and silently sits beside me. He is blocking the stares, and I relax into the back of my seat.

  Ethan grabs my hand and slides it into his lap. Closing my eyes, I drop my head to his shoulder. I feel so safe around him. His presence alone comforts me, and I don’t know what to make of it.

  “Thank you, Ethan,” I sigh out loud and sit back up in my seat.

  He turns his head to look at me. “Anything for you, Angel.” He raises his hand and strokes his thumb over my cheekbone.

  Blushing, I grab the menu again, busying myself. I decide on a burger and set the menu back down onto the table, then look around the restaurant. People are laughing, smiling, and being carefree. What would that be like?

  “Angel, tell me about your childhood?” Ethan moves my hair over my shoulder to get my attention.

  “My childhood wasn’t great either,” I whisper to him. My heart is suddenly heavy with sadness. I miss my mom, even though she didn’t show me she cared about me or did anything to protect me. My dad was her world, even though he beat the shit out of her and then turned to me because I was a little whore at the age of ten. I busted my butt to get a full-ride scholarship so I could get out. And what good did that do me?

  Ethan huffs out angrily. His anger used to scare me but not anymore. I stare at the table in front of me, not wanting to look at him, unwilling to see the pity buried deeply in his eyes.

  He digs his fingers into my side, and I bust out laughing. Smacking my hand over my mouth, I look at Ethan, shocked. He grins evilly and then proceeds to tickle me. Unable to hold it in, I laugh again. I squirm as I try to move his hands away. Tears start to trickle down my face.

  “You guys ready to order?” the waitress interrupts us, scaring me. I jump and sit up straight.

  She looks at me, waiting for me to tell her what I want. I clear my throat then answer in a surprisingly strong voice, “I’ll have a burger with everything and some steak fries, please.”

  Ethan squeezes my knee to let me know he’s proud. Smiling, I look down at my lap, happy he’s proud of me. It may not be something many people would be proud of, but it’s something to me.

  “I’ll have the same,” Ethan tells her while picking up both of our menus and handing them back to her.

  He tells me about his mom, his life in the Marines, small talk to pass the time. I just take everything in. How did I go from living on the streets to eating in a steak house with a man who makes me feel safe?

  Safe is such a strong felling; it’s like being wrapped in a blanket straight out of the dryer. I want to soak it into my entire being. Being scared all the time is horrible, but Ethan changed that, made me realize not every man is bad. A smile breaks out across my face at the thought of what my life will be like in a month.

  Ethan

  That smile. My heart feels like it skipped a beat. I know that makes me sound like a pussy, but it’s true. Braelyn tears at my heartstrings and breaks it into a million fucking pieces at the same time.

  She is so scared of the world. I can see the fear written all over her, from her stiff posture to her eyes. God, her eyes are a killer. They’re so damn beautiful but kill because you can see all the pain in them. I want nothing more than to take that pain away.

  Hearing her scream in the middle of the night will haunt me for the rest of my life. How could someone hurt someone so innocent? If I ever meet the motherfucker and her father, I’ll kill them both; being a cop be damned. There are special places in hell for those people.

  Braelyn has such a huge heart and a great personality. I can see it sometimes when she lets go. She lets go at home a little more each day. When I came to sit beside her and she immediately calmed down, I wanted to beat my chest like a fucking caveman. I want nothing more than for her to feel safe and be safe.

  Braelyn may think she’s weak, but a person who’s been through what she has been through isn’t weak. She’s a fighter. She hasn’t had a chance at life from being beaten down by her father; then when she did have a chance at something, the man who raped her took everything she had left and left her hollow.

  She is still smiling at me. Raising my hand, I cup her neck, wanting nothing more than to claim her mouth with mine. To show her I want her so fucking bad I ache, but she comes first. In time, it will happen.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful, you know that?” I whisper to her, my mouth close to hers, my eyes on her lips. I watch in satisfaction as her eyes widen and a deep blush covers her cheeks.

  Dropping my hand, I grab hers and entwine our fingers. Unable to resist, I stroke my thumb across her hand. She relaxes into my side then lays her head on my shoulder.

  It’s taking everything in me not to pull her into my lap and hold her. What the fuck is happening to me? I never felt like this before, let alone had these thoughts. She brings the sappiness out of me.

  With her blond hair, brown eyes, and pouty lips she’s taken over everything. She brings out the primal
instincts in me to the point I want to lay out every single motherfucker in this place just for looking at her. That man earlier didn’t accidentally brush by her. Nah, he did it on purpose because he was checking out her tits. I almost went nuclear.

  The waitress interrupts my thoughts as she sets the food on the table before us. I can feel her eyes on me, but she’s not even a blip on my radar.

  Braelyn

  As we walk back into the house after dinner, I feel proud of myself because I didn’t freak out. Well, not much anyway. Baby steps. For the first time in a very long time, I feel like there’s a chance I could live a semi normal life again.

  “Angel, want to rent a movie?” Ethan asks me as he drops the keys on the counter.

  “Sure.” I smile at him and walk up the stairs to change.

  I walk into the closet and pull out some shorts and a loose tee. Grabbing a hair tie, I pull my hair up in a messy bun on top of my head. When I walk back downstairs, Ethan is sitting on the couch. I stop at the entrance, feeling nervous all of a sudden. But I take the plunge and walk over to sit beside him then prop my feet up on the coffee table in front of the couch.

  Ethan puts his arm around me and pulls me closer into his side. Snuggling my face more into his shoulder, I bite back a smile.

  The title of the movie starts and I almost groan. Please, don’t let it only be fighting the whole entire time. Ethan laughs when he sees my reaction. We sit in silence through the movie, cuddling and enjoying just being.

  Swaying wakes me from my sleep. I crack one tired eye open and look up. Ethan is carrying me up the steps. Wrapping my arm around his neck, I hold on tighter. He pushes my slightly cracked door open and lays me gently on the bed.

  Not letting go of his shirt, I pull him onto the bed with me. I don’t want him to go. He gently pushes me onto my side and pulls me back so his front is to my back. His arm wrapped around my middle holds me tightly to him. Closing my eyes, I fall asleep with a smile on my face, sleeping through the whole night with no nightmares.

  Chapter Six

  Two weeks later

  It seems everything in my life has changed during these past two weeks. I’m not so scared anymore. Ethan takes me somewhere every other day so I can get used to being out.

  Ethan. He’s amazing, tender, caring, and so much more. Each day I grow closer to him, because with him I don’t feel like I have to walk on eggshells.

  “Wake up, Angel!” I can hear Ethan run into the room before he pulls the blanket off the bed. Not moving, I slow my breathing so it looks like I’m dead, relaxing my body so I’m weightless if he tries to move me. I can feel him standing beside me, staring.

  “Braelyn, wake up.” He shakes my shoulder. My head rolls to the side.

  “Angel?” he says again while picking up my hand and dropping it on the bed. He shakes my shoulder again, trying to wake me. I’m dying on the inside, wanting to laugh.

  “I swear to God, Braelyn, this isn’t funny!” His voice cracks, and I start to feel bad.

  He grabs my hands and lifts me to a sitting position. My body is limp and my head is leaning down toward my lap. He lets go of my hands in hope I’d show a reaction. I fall to the side with my head buried into the sheets and my body at an unnatural position.

  “Oh shit, shit,” Ethan says and climbs onto the bed.

  Then I feel his hand on my side. Oh no, he isn’t! He digs his fingers into my sides. Not able to control my laughter, I roll over to move his fingers off me.

  “Braelyn, don’t do that shit!” he growls then stomps away in mock anger. I cover my mouth with my hand, trying to trap my laugh.

  “Sorry, Etheyy!” I tell him in my sweetest voice before I scoot off the bed and walk past him into the hallway and go downstairs.

  I hear him run down the hallway and start to stomp down the stairs after me. My head shoots up, and I look behind me. Ethan has a wicked grin on his face. Grinning too, I race down the stairs and into the kitchen. I open the fridge to get the ketchup bottle, pop the lid, and turn around to confront him.

  He stares at me with wide eyes as he points at me. “Put it down, Braelyn.” His voice is deep with anger, but his eyes show his amusement.

  “No mercy!” I squeal and give the bottle a big squeeze. Ketchup covers his white T-shirt. His angry face turns to shock, then to an evil grin. He stalks toward me, and I back away slowly until my back hits the counter by the sink.

  Ethan’s entire front meets mine. He looks down at me and reaches behind me. What is he doing?

  Then the shock of ice-cold water hits my face. Jerking back, I fall onto the floor, trying to get away. Ethan laughs at me as I attempt to stand up. His hand grabs mine, halting my movements, then he continues to soak me completely with the sprayer from the sink. Laughing, I lift my hands to cover my face.

  “Do you give up?” he taunts me.

  “Never!” I yell and kick my legs out at him, trying to pull myself away. From that position, he sprays me directly in the face again.

  I grab his leg in an attempt to pull him down with me. I lift both legs and arms around his leg like a monkey. For that I get a shot of ice-cold water on my back. Squealing, I arch my back to dodge the water.

  I look around to try to find something to hit him with. Left with no choice, I bite his calf. He screams. Yes, screams like a little girl! I barely put on any pressure. He pushes me off him, and I let go, falling onto my back, laughing because hearing a scream coming from a man like him is beyond hilarious. I wipe away the tears and water from my face as I peer up at Ethan.

  He looks at me like he can’t believe I did that. To be honest, I can’t believe I did that either. It’s out of character for me. Hell, all of this is. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’m changing.

  Crab walking backwards, I move toward the living room and out of the shot of the sprayer. Ethan throws it down in the sink, and I scramble to my feet so I can run upstairs to the bathroom and lock the door.

  Slipping all the way up the stairs, I manage to slam the door in time. I can hear him laughing outside of the door. I collapse against the door. I can’t believe this happened. Looking at myself in the mirror, I almost don’t recognize the person standing in front of it. She has a glow about her and looks almost... Happy.

  Who is this person standing in front of me? Could that possibly be me? I strip out of my clothes and hop in the shower. The steam immediately eases my muscles as I lean my head against the wall, letting the spray hit my back.

  The sound of my bathroom door opening has me frozen with fear. I know I locked it. Ethan’s planning another prank. Grinning, I pretend to open a bottle of shampoo while peeking out to the side of the shower curtain with one eye.

  When I see a hand, I lift the shampoo bottle and spray the person standing there. I pull back into the shower and laugh when I hear his retreating steps. I hurry and wash my body. I wrap a towel around me, step out, and quickly put some clothes on.

  Stepping out in the hallway, I call out, “Running away scared again, Ethan?”

  “What?” he asks, confused, as he steps out into the hallway.

  His hair is wet, and he’s shirtless, his chest, abs, and hair still wet from the shower like he just stepped out. Steam floats from the bathroom.

  “You just came into the bathroom. Well, I heard you come in. I saw a hand and sprayed you with shampoo. You ran away after that...” I explain.

  “No. I just got out of the shower...” he trails off, confused, before his eyes snap aware. Holding myself, I run to Ethan, scared. Who was that then? Oh God, no... Ethan picks me off the floor and carries me into my room. He sets me on the bed and checks the entire room thoroughly, even under the bed. Before he leaves the room, he first turns the lock over in the door handle.

  “I’m going to check everything out. I’ll be back. Don’t leave this room.” He points his finger at me. Nodding, I clutch the blanket to me. Ice-cold fear shoots through me as my thoughts wonder who that could have been. My worst fear has m
e thinking it’s him.

  The door shuts. I sit in the middle of the bed, scared out of my ever-loving mind. It could be a figment of my imagination, right? I could have thought I saw a hand? Maybe I heard Ethan walking around? Maybe I didn’t lock the door as I thought.

  Shivering, I hold myself tighter. Please, dear God, don’t let that man be my stalker. Please, let it be a figment of my imagination.

  “Baby, everything is safe,” Ethan calls soothingly from outside the door. I jump off the bed to unlock it and tackle Ethan in a hug, wanting, no, needing his comfort. When his arms are around me, I feel safe again. Safe is what I need right now.

  “I got you... Nothing will ever happen to you,” he growls against the top of my head. He pulls back so he is looking straight into my eyes. “I’ll kill before I let something happen to you.”

  Nodding, I lay my head back against his chest. I let out a deep breath and close my eyes, soaking in all that is Ethan.

  “I’m going to take you to a friend’s center, to a woman’s shelter. This guy has MC members based in the building to protect women while they are there. I remember you telling me you wanted to work in a place like that. The guy who runs it offered you a job helping with the women. It’s yours if you want it. They will protect you while I work, and honestly, I don’t want you here alone anymore.”

  I’m in awe he would go through such lengths for me. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve any of this.

  His hand comes up and tugs at my chin so I’m looking at him. “Stop. You deserve it and more. Quit thinking like that.” How does he know everything I think? He just knows me.

  “I want it, Ethan. I need to try to do this and stand on my own two feet. I want to help women who are going through the same thing I’m going through. I want them not to run from their problems and to not let it define them like I let it do to me.”

  A proud smile tugs at his lips. “Well, all right then. Finish getting ready and I’ll take you downtown.”