Learn to Fly

by Heidi Hutchinson

  Oh, boy.

  “I was in an...accident, a few years ago.” Lenny started slow, her hands beginning to tremble. She hadn't talked about this with anyone in a very long time. She clasped her hands in her lap and squeezed them together.

  “What kind of an accident?” Luke's quiet voice prompted.

  Lenny took a deep breath. This sucked. Where the hell was she supposed to start? If she told Luke everything then...then what? Then he'd know.

  “I used to snowboard,” she said flatly, the words falling onto the floor of the bus with a thud. There it was, in the open, her secret. She raised her eyes to meet his confused expression.

  “Like, professionally?” Luke sat up straighter in his chair and leaned forward.

  Lenny blew air out of her mouth. Why did he have to be so interested in her crappy past? How was she supposed to explain all of this without coming across like a dick? “Yeah...I was an Olympic contender.” Shit. Now she sounded arrogant.

  Luke's eyebrows rose, “That sounds like a big deal.”

  Lenny closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Here comes the headache. When did things stop being black and white? Where did all this gray shit come from?

  “Yeah,” she declared more forcefully than she intended. She dropped her hand back to her lap and tried again. “Yeah, it was a big deal.” Luke waited patiently for her to proceed and Lenny fought back the urge to jump out of the moving bus.

  “I come from a family of athletes. We're all awesome.” Her sarcastic tone made Luke chuckle and she relaxed a little. “I started snowboarding when I was a little kid and decided that's what I wanted to do for...” she shrugged, “Well, forever.”

  Lenny paused as the memories rushed in. The purity of the excitement. The adrenaline spike of a good run. “My best friend's uncle, Duke, was pro at the time and he took me under his wing. Taught me everything he knew. He was wild. He encouraged us to be risky and find our own lines off the normal, protected ski routes.” She shook her head, reminiscing. “My parents were totally freaked out. They wanted me to have regular lessons and train in a more controlled environment. But that’s the appeal of snowboarding, there are very few rules. It has a freedom of expression that other sports are lacking. I got better and started winning competitions. My parents were upset at first that I wasn't pursuing a more 'traditional' sport but...” she smiled wistfully, “They eventually got on board.

  “My first Olympics, two years ago...almost three now, I thought I was ready,” her voice cracked and she tried to swallow the ache away, “I wasn't. I lost control and wrecked.”

  “How bad?” Luke finally asked after a few minutes of silence had passed.

  “Oh, you know, the usual head trauma, broken bones. Stuff like that.” Lenny saw the distress on Luke's face and she felt stripped, raw. When he looked at her, he saw her. Crushed spirit and all. And it terrified her.

  “I'm fine now. I made a full recovery, completed all my therapy and I'm clear for launch,” she laughed, trying to brush off the severity of her injuries, but it was obviously forced.

  Luke frowned at her and cleared his throat, “But you don't sleep.”

  “Ah,” Lenny waved carelessly “It's just leftover side-effects from having your body crushed. I sleep a little. But then the muscle spasms and the anxiety take over and...you know what?” Lenny cut herself off and shook her head with embarrassment, “It's not a big deal. It's totally fine.”

  “It's not fine,” Luke confronted. He suddenly crossed to sit next to her on the couch. He reached up, brushing the hair over her shoulder and touched the tense spot behind her neck, “This. This isn't fine.” His fingers began their magical movements, releasing the negative energy that seemed to pool in that area. “And you slept just fine in my arms,” his voice, warm and rough, reminded very near her ear.

  “I guess...” Lenny sought an explanation, one she hadn't figured out yet. “I guess, you make me feel safe.” She thought she heard Luke sigh but she couldn't be sure. She shouldn't have said that. She shouldn't have said any of the things she had said to him tonight. She was losing control of her faculties. This only happened around him.

  “You are safe with me,” Luke gently pulled her into his arms as he reclined on the sofa. He tucked her body between his and the couch, keeping her head on his chest. His fingers stayed on the back of her neck, slowly removing the ache, while his other hand pulled her arm across him, completing the embrace.

  Lenny's body was flush against his and her heart hammered in her chest. If one of the guys came back to the main lounge or if Carl caught them...

  “I don't want you to worry anymore,” Luke broke into her thoughts.

  “I didn't say anything,” Lenny defended.

  “I can feel you tensing up again,” he tapped her neck with his fingertips, “Just relax. This isn't anything more than a friend helping out another friend.”

  Lenny fought the heaviness in her eyelids. Friends. Is this what it was like to have friends? She slowly traced the black swirl of ink that started on his forearm and disappeared under his shirt sleeve. She inhaled his scent, a mixture of soap and spearmint, and sighed.

  She couldn’t let feelings develop for him. It wouldn’t be fair to him or her, for that matter. After the tour was over they would go different ways. She focused on the reason she got this job in the first place, to get away and start new. He was a rock star, she was the assistant. At best, they were friends, but it couldn’t be more than that. Besides, Luke Casey deserved someone better than a broken girl from nowhere. It was her last thought before she slipped into peaceful unconsciousness.

  ***

  When Luke woke up the next morning, Lenny was already gone. The buses had stopped sometime around dawn but he wasn’t sure when she had left. He wasn't too surprised. He knew he was pushing every boundary she had set up between them since the beginning. But he couldn't help it, from the moment he had first met her, he couldn't resist her. When he found out he could offer her the peace she had been lacking, he jumped at it.

  He had tried to stay awake as long as possible, just enjoying the feel of her in his arms. Her softness and warmth, it was a closeness he'd never experienced with anyone. It was terrifying. And perfect.

  Luke tried to push the burning apprehension in his gut further downward. He hoped she wouldn't feel weird around him today. He wanted this to be a step forward, not back.

  He joined the guys after his shower and they began to speculate what plans Lenny might have for them. They discussed skydiving, water skiing or maybe even makeovers.

  “I’d be down for a makeover.” Harrison looked at his hair in the reflection of the chrome on the side of the bus and primped a little, “As long as I get to keep my hair.”

  Lenny pulled up in a rented van and they all piled in. They chattered the whole time, trying to get Lenny to tell them where they were going. She remained secretive for the whole forty minute drive out of town. Then the van pulled onto a gravel road that wound up into the gorgeous Smokey Mountains. She stopped at a ramshackle cabin with a saggy roof.

  As the guys quietly piled out of the van, an older gentleman came out of the cabin and approached Lenny. His hair was gray and thinning at the temples but he moved with the energy of a much younger man. He was obviously fit and carried himself with a dignity that had been earned.

  “Lenny Evans, it really is you!” He grabbed her in a hug. “I haven’t seen you since…oh, it’s got to have been four or five years now.”

  The band looked on, silent. They knew each other?

  “Last time you were here you had that friend of yours with you, what’s her name? Cody? Did she come along this time?” The old-timer looked around.

  Lenny laughed and shook her head, “Not this time, Dale.”

  Luke frowned as a stray memory tried to connect in his brain. Cody? He knew that name from somewhere…

  “Guys,” Lenny addressed her group, “This is Dale Larson, he owns this shop and he’s agreed to set us up f
or the day.”

  “For what?” Harrison asked, surveying the surrounding mountains.

  “Mountain biking. All day.” She said it like she had expected them to have it figured out already.

  The guys were definitely surprised. Maybe a little nervous but Lenny seemed confident that they were going to do just fine. Dale set them up with bikes and helmets and various supplies like water and snacks. He gave all of them different degrees of instruction but nothing really specific, then he turned them over to Lenny.

  “Whatever happens, keep your eyes on the lead dog,” he rested his hand on Lenny’s shoulder, “That’s this girl, right here. She’s the best I’ve ever seen on a trail and she’ll show you how it’s done.” With that, he bid them farewell and retreated back into his cabin.

  ***

  Lenny wasted no time; she climbed onto her bike and headed down the road. The guys had no choice but to follow. She tried not to push them too hard at first. She had extra energy she was trying to burn off and she didn't need to take it out on them.

  Waking up in Luke's arms that morning had left her feeling a combination of unparalleled rejuvenation and bewilderment. She had slowly peeled herself out of his embrace and promptly begun avoiding him and any conversation having to do with him. She had no idea what was going to come of this new development in their friendship. But she was pretty sure that they were dancing on the edge of the traditional definition of just friends.

  Blake caught up to her first, “Hate to bust your balls but I think I know how to ride a bike.”

  Lenny grinned and ducked off the main road and onto a narrow trail heading uphill. She kept glancing behind her to make sure she hadn’t lost anyone. She laughed to herself every time she heard one of them holler in surprise. She pushed them to what she knew was their limit, but nothing too risky or dangerous. As they continued their climb she heard grumblings in the back for a water break. She knew there was a place that leveled off up ahead and she would let them rest when they reached it.

  As the last member entered the clearing, Lenny took her helmet off and released her sweaty hair from its tight ponytail. She smoothed it back and replaced the elastic. Then she passed out sandwiches and water, making sure the guys stayed hydrated.

  “How much further?” Harrison puffed.

  “You wanna head back?” Lenny offered.

  “No, we’ll keep going.” Luke answered; he was barely winded and grinning from ear to ear. He patted Harrison on the back, “The fresh air is good for you.”

  “It’s a good thing none of us are smokers,” Sway joked.

  “Yeah, Carl would be dead by now,” Blake laughed.

  Lenny smiled at her band of tattooed misfits. They had quickly become her favorite people in the whole world.

  She finished her sandwich and walked over to a ledge overlooking the forest below. Mike walked up next to her and whistled.

  “That’s an amazing view.”

  Lenny agreed. Mike studied her expression quizzically and asked, “What other extreme sports do you take part in?”

  Lenny took a deep breath of the mountain air and smiled. She turned toward the group and answered, “I hang out with rock stars.”

  ***

  Luke pulled his bike up next to Lenny’s and handed her her helmet. “Ready, Captain?” He asked her, testing the waters of their friendship. Not knowing if she regretted trusting him the night before with her secrets.

  “Ready.” She buckled the chin strap and smiled up at Luke. If she was ashamed, she wasn't showing it.

  “You’re gorgeous,” he blurted out, not really thinking.

  “You too,” she teased back. “You seem to be doing pretty good on the trail,” she complimented.

  “I like a challenge,” Luke winked.

  Lenny raised her eyebrows and mounted her bike, “Well then, I’ll race you to the top.” And she was off.

  Luke shook his head and sped after her. He had never met anyone with so much passion for everything they did. He loved the way she never stopped going after something and how she managed to completely master something new. He wanted to see how fast he could teach her guitar. Besides, that would offer more opportunity for them to be alone together. He tried to shake off the excited feeling he got when he thought about sitting with her, alone, just talking.

  He thought about kissing her all the time. Constantly. But he wasn't about to make her uncomfortable. It would be alright, he would be patient until she trusted him. He was enjoying every minute they spent together anyway. That included hanging with a bunch of people or talking late into the night on the bus.

  Lenny beat him to the top and took off her helmet with a big smile.

  “Was that challenging enough for you?”

  Luke nodded, trying to catch his breath, “Well done.”

  They had a few minutes alone as they waited for the rest of the group to catch up and Luke plunged ahead with his just-born idea.

  “You should ride on the Blue Bus with us after tomorrow night's show. I want to try to teach you how to play.”

  “Play what?” Lenny’s brows frowned.

  “The guitar.” Luke answered like it was obvious.

  “Why do you want to teach me the guitar?” Lenny’s frown deepened.

  “You’re good at everything you do. Not just good, you’re the best. I wanna see how fast you learn it.”

  Lenny shrugged, “I suppose it’s worth a shot.”

  “And then maybe you can teach me something I don’t know how to do.” He was trying to be subtle but he still wanted her to pick up on the undertone of his suggestion.

  If she did, he would never know because the guys came huffing and puffing their way up the trail.

  “So it’s settled, you’ll ride with me and Mike after tomorrow’s show?” He wanted her confirmation, knowing she wouldn’t go back on her word.

  “You got it.” She smiled openly at him and then greeted the stragglers, “Hello, Lovelies. How do you feel?”

  “I’m not gonna lie, Len, I feel like a man.” Blake confessed and they all laughed out loud. “Good job, mama,” he complimented her as he patted her back.

  Lenny let them rest and enjoy the scenery for a while before turning them back down the hill. The ride to the starting point was quiet and Lenny took it easy on them. When they got back to the cabin, they thanked Dale for the loaned equipment and collapsed into the van. They were all too exhausted to even think about going out later. Which, Luke suspected, had been Lenny's plan all along.

  Lenny took a longer drive through the mountains instead of driving straight back to the venue. Most of the guys fell asleep right away and the radio played soft country music as she wound her way along the tight mountain highway. Luke sat in the front seat with her and watched her face as she drove along carefully.

  “I miss the mountains.” She said it so quietly Luke would have missed it if he hadn’t been looking at her.

  Luke reached over and took her hand gently in his. He didn’t say anything and she didn’t look at him. He kept her hand in his, resting on the middle seat between them. His thumb softly stroked the tops of her fingers. When they pulled into the parking lot, she tugged her hand free of his grasp.

  As she parked, she smiled apologetically at him. He nodded at her in understanding. He had no problem being the guy who brought her comfort on her own terms.

  The guys all piled out groggily and onto their buses, thanking Lenny along the way.

  “Thanks, mama,” Blake hugged her shoulders, “You made me feel like a man and kicked my ass at the same time.”

  ***

  The sun was beginning to set, and there was some discussion of getting a pizza and turning in early. Harrison placed a delivery order and gave Lenny the cash. She walked to the gate of the parking lot to wait for the driver. Famous rock stars couldn’t just get their own pizza; she smiled to herself at the thought. They were crazy famous to the whole world, to her they were her family.

  She sat down on the
curb and enjoyed the peaceful calm of the evening. The sky was turning from blue to purple to red with highlights of gold and pink mixed in. She breathed in the clean mountain air and felt the tension in her shoulders ease. She marveled at the strange turn her life had taken in the last month. She had planned on getting as far away from her previous life as possible and now she was feeling the weirdest tingle of homesickness.

  She missed her family and the open skies of Wyoming. Tomorrow was David’s birthday. She knew they would probably have a big family dinner. Scott and Nathan would be there, as well as David’s wife, Felicity, and their four little boys. Lenny would be the only one absent. She should call to wish him a happy birthday. She pulled out her phone and looked at it. She decided to send a text instead; if they were busy she didn’t want to interrupt.

  Sliding her phone back into her pocket, she was startled when Mike sat down next to her.

  “You shouldn’t be out here,” she jested, “Someone might recognize you.”

  Mike made a “humph” noise.

  They sat quietly together for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of the city below them. Lenny leaned back on her arms and kicked her feet out in front of her.

  “I have a confession.” Mike looked down at his feet and stirred some loose gravel around with his shoe.

  Lenny frowned and looked over at him but didn't say anything.

  “I overheard your conversation with Luke last night.”

  Lenny wrinkled her nose in response.

  “And I know that you and Luke,” he cleared his throat, “slept together on the couch.”

  “We didn't-” Lenny sat up and started to protest.