Obsession: Loving an Alpha Male

by S. K. Lessly

  He started growling at me. “Sweets, if you don’t stop, I’m going to come in your– Fuck me. Ohhhh shittttt!”

  He closed his eyes and brought his head back as I deep throated him and made a sucking motion right before I felt him release. I swallowed him eagerly, making sure I got every drop.

  When I sat up and licked my lips, Josh grabbed me by my waist, turned and brought me underneath him.

  He was breathing heavy, and I could still see the effects of a sated unhinged man, and I did that!

  “Holy shit, Sweets. You’ve been holding out on me. I thought you said you’ve never done that before.” He breathed out.

  I smiled. “I haven’t.”

  “Baby, the shit you did was better than… Let’s just say it’s not what someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing should know.”

  My smile and my head got bigger.

  I said to him, “I never said I didn’t know how to do it, I just never done it on a man that’s all.” Josh looked confused, and I just said to him, “Pornos.”

  He laughed and buried his head in my neck. He mumbled, “You are unbelievable. I’m so glad you’re mine.”

  My breath caught, and as he rose to meet my eyes I knew they were wide as saucers. Josh, still on his elbows half on me and half off, touched the side of my face and gently caressed it. He wore one of the most endearing looks on his face.

  I felt my eyes start to water.

  He said, “I don’t know what you’re thinking, Sweets, but for me, there’s no one I would rather be with than you. I’ve never wanted or desired a woman as much as you. Whether you like it or not, right now, right here, I’m officially claiming you.” He moved his hand from my cheek and slowly caressed my body. “I’m claiming this body, your mind, your spirit,” he leaned down and kissed my chest. “Your heart…” he smiled and touched my lips with his index finger and said, “I’m claiming these lips and everything that comes with them.” He leaned in closer where his lips were inches from mine. He whispered, “You will not kiss another man the way you kissed me earlier.” I couldn’t help but smile as well as turn a few shades darker than usual. “These lips are dangerous, baby.”

  “You will not do what you just did with this mouth to anyone else but me.”

  He climbed on top of me and pushed my legs open with his knees so he could settle between them. He eased into me slowly, and I arched my back and closed my eyes at the invasion.

  He started moving his hips slowly. “This pussy is mine. You will not give it to anyone else but me.”

  He moved his lips to my neck and took one of my legs from his hips up to his shoulders. It was that moment that the beast that I seemed to have awakened, thoroughly unleashed pleasures I’d been thinking about ever since I started playing on my playground.

  ****

  After a long sexing session and a shower, in which I was reminded how strong this man really was, as he kept me tight and up against the wall of the shower until we both climaxed, we finally came up for some air.

  We ordered pizza, and he went to pick it up while I changed my sheets and lit some candles. I didn’t know if my apartment smelled like the sexfest we had, so I tried to air it out and freshen up the place a little bit.

  Josh finally made it back with a six–pack of beer in one hand and two pizzas in another. I licked my lips watching how his jeans hung low on his hips, and the tank top style t–shirt that revealed all his muscled glory.

  “Behave yourself, woman,” Josh told me, smirking.

  I laughed and grabbed the beer from his hands as he set the pizzas on my dining room table.

  We had eaten a few pieces in silence until finally I figured it was time to have this talk. I was sitting Indian style on my couch while Josh was sprawled on my floor with a few pillows propping him up enough to drink from the bottle he had resting on his chest.

  I took a deep breath and asked him, “How long have you known?”

  Josh looked over at me but didn’t reply at first. I wondered at first if he heard my question. Josh then sat up from the floor and stood up. He walked around to the other side of the couch and sat next to me. He faced me and placed his beer on the table.

  “I’ve had my suspicions that something was up, so I had Junior look into your background. I learned who you were right after our first date.”

  I shook my head. “God, and you didn’t say anything?”

  “Sweets, there wasn’t anything to say. Yes, I looked into your background, but that didn’t tell me shit about you…. I wanted to know what kind of danger you were in because you were so tight lipped about it. I felt the need to protect you, and fuck if I wasn’t going to learn who I was protecting you from.” I didn’t say anything to that, and he continued, “Then I had Junior look into your ex.”

  “Why?” I interrupted.

  “I told you, I wanted make sure you were safe, and I was going to make that happen.”

  I shook my head. “And how would you have done that?”

  “I have my ways,” Josh replied dryly.

  “Josh, I know you want to help me, but there’s no way you could do that. Don’t you think I’ve thought of many ways I could get back at him for doing the things he’s done.” I shook my head. “He’s untouchable. His father is connected to every political name you could mention.”

  Josh sighed as if he was holding onto patience that was wearing thin.

  He managed to keep his tone even and said, “Sweets, to be honest, I don’t give a fuck who he is or his father. You don’t deserve to be walking around here afraid to live your life. You shouldn’t have to be in hiding, away from your family and the life you’ve known.”

  I shook my head. “Believe me, my life wasn’t anything to write home about. As a matter of fact, my life sucked.”

  “It doesn’t matter, you had the choice taken away from you, and it’s time for that shit to be over,” Josh said and took my hand in his and squeezed it.

  I said softly, “I just don’t want to see you hurt because of me. Noah and his father are vicious, and they don’t care who they hurt or who they destroy to get what they want.”

  Josh moved closer to me and kissed me lightly on the lips.

  He said to me, while keeping his mouth inches from mine, “I love that you care about my well–being, Sweets, but I’m not the one you should worry about.”

  He kissed me a couple more times, then backed away.

  I stared in his eyes, and the look that greeted me told me he meant every word. Josh had a dark side, I knew, and even though I hadn’t seen it, I knew it was there. I shivered at the thought of what he really was capable of.

  Josh sat back a little and said, “Tell me about you and Noah.”

  I stood and shook my head. “There’s nothing to tell. I told you I met him through my father. His company employed my father’s to manage their revenue and investments. I’m sure this is something that you know already.”

  “Yes I do, so you know that’s not what I want to know. I want to know about you and him, Sweets. Namely, I want to know how the fuck he got to put his hands on you.”

  I sighed deeply and stood at my counter with my back to him. I didn’t want to look at him, knowing exactly what was in his eyes. I knew what he wanted to know, but just the thought of telling him made the food we just ate start to travel back up my esophagus.

  I jumped slightly when I felt Josh’s hand on my shoulder, and as I turned, I put my head down not wanting to meet his eyes. Of course, Josh, being who he was, gripped me by my hips and settled me on top of the counter positioning himself between my legs. Wow! A little déjà vu, huh? He tilted my head up forcing me to look at him.

  “Talk to me, baby…”

  I moved my face from his hand and leaned away from him.

  “This is hard for me,” I said finally.

  “I know it is…” Josh replied back, but I shook my head.

  “You can’t possibly know or understand. I just don’t want to talk about it… I c
an’t.”

  It was Josh’s turn to sigh deeply. He looked at me and surprisingly I kept his gaze. I didn’t want to talk about this. I didn’t want to try and explain what happened. And I didn’t want to hear the question I knew he would ask… Why didn’t I leave?

  “Sweets, you have nightmares about this fucker choking the life out of you. You’ve been in hiding for five years. You’ve changed your name and worked odd fucked up jobs just to stay hidden from him. To me that’s unacceptable. I want him, Sweets. And believe me when I tell you, I will find him. My hands are itching to get to him, Sweets. The question is when I get my hands on him, what am I going to do? I want to choke the life out of him. I want to rip his fucking throat out of his neck. And the more I see and witness the hurt and fear in your eyes, the more I want to kill him.”

  “Josh, you can’t,” I said quickly, feeling the fear creep in me but for different reasons.

  “I can’t what? You know I only have to find his address, and that will be that, Sweets. He’s not fucking hiding, baby. He’s living his life. Hell, he could be doing the same thing to another woman like he’s done to you.”

  I shook my head. “So what do you plan to do? Are you going to stop him, arrest him if I tell you? No, I know nothing good will come of me telling you. As a matter of fact, you’ll probably want to kill Noah more.”

  We had our showdown for a moment, as we both didn’t waver our gaze.

  Finally, Josh said to me, “You’re right… If you tell me what happened to you, I would probably go find him tonight. I take it though you don’t want me to?”

  “No, of course not!”

  “What do you want then? Do want me to arrest him? You want to press charges?” He asked me.

  “I’m sure the statute of limitation is over. Besides, I don’t have any evidence, and he’d probably beat it anyway. I told you he’s connected.”

  “Sweets, I’m sure I can think of something. Don’t worry about how I get him. If you want him to get arrested for the shit he’s done to you, I can make it happen.”

  I folded my arms around my chest.

  “But, I have to tell you what he’s done to me.”

  “Fuck, Sweets, this isn’t a tradeoff…” He placed both his hands on the sides of my face. “I’m not trying to force you to tell me what happened. I want you to tell me on your own. I want you to trust me enough to do that, baby… I just don’t want to see you in pain.”

  “I know.”

  He moved in closer to me and kissed me.

  “I would do anything for you, baby…”

  I smiled. “I know that, too…”

  “So whenever you’re ready to talk to me. I’ll be there… and whenever you want that son of a bitch to pay for what he’s done, I’ll make that happen, too.”

  I shook my head, smiling. “Who are you?”

  His gaze never wavered as he said, “I’m a man with many hats, talents, and titles that will give his life to protect yours.”

  He helped me down from the counter, took my hand and pulled me back to the couch, grabbing two more beers from the refrigerator as we walked. We sat down, and he opened mine first and then his.

  I just held the bottle in my hand and looked at him. He took a long pull from his bottle, sat it on the table in front of the couch and took a deep breath. I had an idea what he was going to say, but the way he was acting, how he was preparing himself, I was a little frightened.

  Josh ran his hands through his hair then looked at me.

  I helped him by saying, “So are you FBI?”

  He shook his head. “Not exactly.”

  “CIA?”

  “Used to be,” he replied.

  I frowned. “Okay then who? NSA, ATF, DOD?”

  “It’s not a cut and dry answer. Just let me start from the beginning, okay?” I didn’t reply, so he continued, “I’m an operative for the United States Government. I’ve worked for and with all of the agencies you’ve mentioned, as well as others you didn’t and probably know nothing about. Our government has quite a number of special units, and their sole responsibility is the threat of terrorism that could affect the U.S. in any way. That means overseas, our borders and our own soil.

  Each of the units specializes in certain skills. Some teams hunt, some gather Intel, and others do both. Then there are others that are the crème of the crop. They handle tough sensitive cases and will be called upon to protect the U.S. at all costs. And to answer your question, my team is the latter.

  I was sent here to investigate Howard and Bradshaw Investments for a tip we received, and we needed to gather Intel, which is why I was sent in. I’m typically not the guy that would go under cover. But from time to time, I have been the one that finds who we’re looking for, interrogate them and put them away.” He stopped and asked, “Are you following me?”

  I nodded.

  I asked, “How long have you been doing this?”

  “Working for the government?” I nodded again. “I’ve been doing this for over a decade. But my need for investigative work started way before then. I was in high school working with my father, helping him on some of his cases. He’s a detective for the DC police force, as you know, and has been for a long time. Sometimes he would come home with a case, and we would sit down and work through it together. It was twisted, I know, but I had the knack for seeing things in a case that aren’t visible. I’m good at looking at details, I can tell if a situation is wrong or that someone is lying. Call it intuition or gut instincts, I just know. So my dad and I would work his cases all the time.”

  “Did your dad close the cases you worked with him on?”

  “Yeah he did… Don’t get me wrong, my father is who I got my investigative skills and intuition from. He had a high success rate, which is why they would give him the hard cases. The missing kid cases, cold cases, things like that. He would come home, and we would lay a case out and try and figure out who’d done it. So anyway, once I graduated from college, I went into the FBI. Worked there for a while, then went to the CIA. That’s when I got noticed for the skills I possessed. I can speak various languages fluently, and I possess a number of skills that I can’t begin to tell you. I’ve been overseas for a long time working with the Military and our government. The next thing I knew, I was recruited for a special unit and given a team to run.”

  “Is that what you were doing before you came here, to Pittsburgh?”

  He nodded. “Yes. I’ve been on a job for almost a year.”

  “A year! Jeez Josh, wasn’t that dangerous?”

  He shrugged. “It can be… but that’s the nature of the job.”

  I scoffed. “You make it seem like you’re just a librarian or something, and all you’re at risk of getting is a paper cut.”

  “No, I’m not saying that at all. If you want to know if I’ve been shot at, I would have to say yes. Multiple times. Being in some countries overseas is very dangerous. But I’m smart, Sweets. I know what I’m doing, and I don’t ever do something that would put my life in extreme danger.”

  “I find that hard to believe.” I rolled my eyes, knowing for a fact this man would rarely turn down a job.

  “It’s true. First, let me tell you I’m very good at what I do. I never enter into a situation blind. I know everything there is to know about who I’m looking for, where I’m going and how to achieve my goal. If there is something, anything, I don’t like about a job, I won’t go, and if I’m already on sight, I leave as quietly as I came.”

  I shook my head. “Josh, you can’t tell me that’s the case all the time. I know there are times where you can’t walk away as you say.”

  I stood and moved from him. What he does for a living I knew would and did freak me out. No, I’m not saying I was afraid of him; I’m afraid for him. I watch too much television, movies, and I read entirely too much. If he worked for an agency that he couldn’t even tell me the name of, I knew he was working under the radar. And that meant if something happened to him, I would never kno
w.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” I heard him say, and I turned and looked at him.

  I folded my arms. “Yeah, and what’s that.”

  He stood. “And it’s not going to happen.”

  I stared at him as I watched him walk toward me. He touched my arm, and I moved it.

  “Don’t–”

  “Kenya–”

  “You’re minimizing this, making me sound like I’m overreacting, when you know I’m not…”

  “Sweets–” he said, but I didn’t want to hear it.

  I moved from him and started cleaning up. “No! Look, Josh, I think you should go,” I said roughly, grabbing the pizza box that was still half full.

  I mean, really, why did he buy so much?

  I threw the box in the fridge, and as I slammed the door, I felt his arms move around my waist.

  “Josh, let go,” I said softly as he pulled me to him.

  He held on tight to me.

  He said, “I don’t want to let go, and I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I can’t do this,” I said, still keeping my voice low.

  “Which part?”

  I turned around to face him, and he loosened his grip for me to do just that. I looked up in his eyes.

  “What you’re doing, I know it’s honorable and patriotic and keeps the U.S. safe. I just can’t go through something happening to you. I mean, you can’t have a plan for everything. You can’t be one hundred percent sure no one would stab you in the back or give you up. You could get killed, Josh, and I wouldn’t know anything about it.” He sighed and closed his eyes, so I continued, “But I can tell you love what you do, and as you said before, you’re good at it.” I laughed uncomfortably. “I should be pissed at you for keeping that kind of secret from me, but hell, I guess I did the same thing, so I understand. I just don’t think I could be in a relationship with you knowing there’s a huge chance I would never see you again.”

  “Kenya, the chances of that happening is slim.”

  “But, it’s there.”

  “Yeah, so is me losing my life in a car accident, or getting robbed, or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. That shit can happen just as easy.”