Full Metal Magic: An Urban Fantasy Anthology

by J. A. Cipriano

  Hopefully, the nearby food stations would provide cover for those hiding, but I wasn’t too sure about that since I didn’t know what he was capable of. Well, I’d just have to take him out fast.

  He brandished an orange staff at them while a woman wearing way too much makeup and a purple dress that had to be really hot in this weather stood a few feet behind him, guarding the entrance to the fun house with a massive metallic fan.

  People were screaming, probably because the guy in yellow who I was guessing was the monkey king, Sun Wukong, had bludgeoned more than a few security staff into unconsciousness with his staff. It seemed ridiculous, but then again, most things did. Part of me wondered if their cries would bring a SWAT team down upon us, but even if they did, it’d be a while before SWAT showed up. I wasn’t sure we had that kind of time, and even if we did, I wasn’t the type of guy who waited around for law enforcement.

  “Stay back, Mei,” Ricky said before bounding forward in a blur. Her hands lashed out with her considerable werewolf speed.

  Unfortunately, it almost seemed like she was moving in slow motion compared to the Monkey King. He calmly stepped back, bringing his staff upward in an arc that caught Ricky under the chin. The sound made my stomach clench in horror.

  Ricky’s head snapped backward and her feet left the air as a surge of rage exploded through me. Ignoring the people all around me, I fired at him while sprinting forward. I was a pretty good shot, and my bullets would have hit him if the son of a bitch hadn’t blocked them with quick precise swings of his staff. The bullets came flying back at me, and I threw myself sideways.

  Bullets slammed into the spell-hardened leather of my coat as I crashed to the rocky ground and rolled to my feet. A sharp stab of pain shot through my shoulder as Sun Wukong leapt into the air, crossing the several yards between us with one somersault and swung his staff at me.

  I rolled to the side as his staff impacted the spot where I’d been with enough force to crack the hard-packed earth. I half expected him to take advantage, but as I crawled to my feet while raising my Glock, his hand shot out and grabbed Mei by the throat. He hoisted her into the air and drew her close to his body like a shield. The fucker.

  His nostrils flared as he inhaled hard, and his eyes widened in slight surprise. He took his eyes off of me and turned them on Mei. His tongue lashed out of his mouth and slid across her cheek, leaving behind a slimy trail of goo.

  “Sister…” he whispered, and the strangled growl of his voice made fear twist in my gut. I’d heard voices like that before. I wasn’t sure where because I couldn’t remember, but from the way adrenaline surged through me at the sound of it, my body sure as fuck remembered. It had to be something from my past, and if that was the case, maybe I knew how to kill it. As I reached for the memory, it vanished into the mists of my mind. Fuck.

  “Drop the girl, asshole,” I said, aiming the gun at his face, but if it bothered him, I couldn’t tell.

  “No,” he replied, right before Ricky slammed into his back. She’d shifted completely into her half-woman, half-wolf fighting form, and while I was never sure how she shifted from a girl just over five feet tall and maybe a buck thirty to a fourteen foot creature tipping the scales at four hundred plus with such speed, I was willing to bet it had something to do with all the calories she consumed. Well, that and magic.

  Either way, her massive bulk was more than enough to send Sun Wukong stumbling. Mei slipped from his grip. The Asian teen hit the ground a few feet away as Ricky tried to latch onto the Monkey King’s throat with her powerful jaws, but he held her off with one hand while pummeling her ribs with his free fist. Each blow seemed to break something inside my girlfriend. It made me want to rush to her aid and hurt him twice as badly, but if there was one thing I knew, it was Ricky could take care of herself.

  I bit down on my male ego, thanked my lucky stars she healed quickly, and scrambled forward. The tattoos on my right arm lit up like Amsterdam’s red-light district as I drew on my power. I wanted to blow this son of a bitch straight to Hell, but he and Ricky were still grappling. For the moment, it seemed like she had the advantage, especially since she could take so much damage, and as I tried to decide what to do, a werewolf with pink hair and a sun dress leapt onto the monkey king. Mei. Well, that explains how she and Ricky knew each other. Ricky was her werewolf boss.

  “Ricky, I’m going to go for the girl!” I cried because if I helped her she’d totally be offended. So, respecting her girl power, I spun on my heel and headed toward the girl who I was guessing was Princess Iron Fan. She stood in front of the funhouse, staring me down with an expression that should only be on hardened Navy Seals who were also shifters with great abs as they mowed down countless enemies before brunch.

  “I don’t think so,” she said in a cutesy voice that reminded me of baby Gru in the Minions’ movie. She grinned at me and waved her iron fan through the air in my general direction. The wind coming off of it hit me with enough force to send me flying backward as the purple-dressed kabuki dropped into a fighting stance and gave me the “come on” gesture like we were straight out of Crouching Tiger.

  I picked myself up from the ground for the second time in as many minutes, rolled my shoulder because it hurt like a bitch and pointed my gun at her even though I wasn’t sure what good it’d do. There were way too many people around for me to think shooting at her would be a good idea, and when I’d shot at Sun Wukong, I’d almost taken a bullet to the knee, which would have really ended my adventuring in a hurry, let me tell you.

  “Do you really think that’s going to work?” she asked, raising one heavily painted eyebrow at me. The way she said it was almost a dare. Well, fuck her and fuck good ideas.

  “There’s a first time for everything,” I replied and fired at her. The sound rippled across the horizon like a crack of thunder. As she moved to sweep her fan through the path of the bullets and blow them away, I flung my right hand forward and called upon my power. I’d been counting on her to go after the bullets.

  “Ignis!” I cried, unleashing a blast of Hellfire. I wasn’t sure what Hellfire would do to her, but from the fear that flashed across her face, it probably wouldn’t be pretty. Good.

  Her fan stopped in mid-arc as she tried to throw herself to the side to avoid my attack. My fireball passed by her and careened toward the funhouse. As she hit the ground with one hand and sprung into the air like an Olympic gymnast, my fire slammed into an invisible shield in front of the funhouse and vanished like it was laser fire impacting a shield in Star Trek. Circles of concentric color, rippled outward, but I ignored it for now. I could figure out a way to get past the barrier after I took care of Princess Iron Fan.

  Thankfully, she wasn’t as fast as Sun Wukong, and as she landed on her feet, I was on top of her. Her fan came flashing toward me, and I ducked beneath it, catching her under the arm with my own arm. Then I drove her straight into the ground with the force of all my weight while sweeping her leg out from under her. She slammed hard into the dirt, her head cracking painfully and her eyes going distant and dazed. I put my gun up under her chin.

  “Dodge this!” I growled and pulled the trigger. The bullet snapped her head backward, but that was about it, which was unfortunate because she clocked me in the temple with her fist. It felt like I’d been struck by a sledgehammer.

  As I bounced across the ground before sliding to a stop in front of a cotton candy stand, sans vendor, I realized my gun wasn’t going to be particularly effective, which kind of pissed me off because I was really good at shooting people. I reached up, grabbing onto the counter and hoisting myself to my feet while holstering my Glock.

  Princess Iron Fan’s Doc Martin flew at my face in a well-placed kick, and as I dropped back to the ground, her foot punched a hole through the thin steel. Before she could pull herself free, I flung myself forward, hitting her in the stomach with my shoulder and driving her to the ground.

  The impact rattled my teeth together, but if it bothered her m
uch, I couldn’t tell because she was already grabbing me by the lapels of my trench coat, no doubt about to fling me off of her like I was a sack of garbage. I grabbed onto her wrists and dropped my full weight onto her, trying to keep her from getting the leverage she needed. I moved anyway. She was that strong.

  “Sorbeo,” I said and once again my demonic tattoos lit up. Energy surged up out of her and thrummed into my right hand like I’d grabbed ahold of a live wire. It was always dicey draining the power from supernaturals because if I took too much energy, I could pop like an overfilled balloon. Still, it felt pretty fucking good. So good, I knew I had to use some of this power before things inside of me started to melt.

  My senses went into overdrive as I pulled even harder, intent to rip everything out of her and deal with the consequences after she was dead. My skin began to smoke and my vision went hazy.

  Just as I was about to release her so I could throw some of this power back at her in the form of Hellfire to the face, something inside her snapped violently in the same way a fishing line did when a fish pulled too hard at it. The energy feeding into me vanished, and not only that, but every spec of power I’d absorbed went along with it. That’d never happened before

  The sudden lack of power combined with that realization was like a bucket of ice water to the senses. Whatever I was facing was a lot different than the enemies I’d faced before. I’ll be honest, the thought didn’t exactly fill me with confidence, but I wasn’t the type to back down.

  I released my grip on her wrist in shock and sat back in confusion. Even the flames that had been leaping from my tattoos had disappeared along with whatever had been powering the girl. Great, first I don’t get any fries, and now I didn’t even get to keep the power I’d stolen? Lame.

  “Oh my god, please don’t hurt me!” Princess Iron Fan cried in a way that suggested she was seeing me for the first time, which might have been true. Just because something was giving her power, it didn’t mean she’d been a willing participant.

  She started thrashing like she thought I was trying to kill her, which I had been if I’m being truthful. Now she was pounding at my chest with weak little girly punches that made me think she’d never actually hit anyone before. What the fuck was going on?

  “Stop,” I said, scrambling off of her. As I got to my feet, she crawled backward on her hands like a crab, her eyes wide in terror. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

  “Please don’t hurt me,” she repeated as though my actions somehow suggested I planned on pummeling her into the pavement.

  This was going to be a long day, and something told me it was going to get worse before it got better. A lot worse. I sighed and wiped my face with my hand. “Get out of here.”

  “Mac, are you okay?” Ricky called, and I craned my head toward her. “Or are you going to keep picking on little girls?”

  She was soaking wet and covered in blood. I wasn’t sure how much of it was hers since she could have healed any gaping chest wounds. She looked concerned, chewing on her lip as she caught my eye and began walking toward me. That wasn’t good. Ricky was almost never concerned about anything. So why was she worried about this?

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, rolling my shoulder again. It still hurt. Why couldn’t I ever fight anyone in a bounce house, or better yet, not fight anyone at all?

  She wiped her bloody hands on the “This is Sparta!” T-shirt plastered to her skin. I was just glad it was black. If not, other people might have enjoyed the show. While I wasn’t possessive per se, I didn’t like other men leering closely at my girl. At least, not before I’d had the chance to do more than look.

  “Mac, I think they’re possessed,” Ricky said, ignoring the girl in the Princess Iron Fan costume. She had gotten to her feet and took off running the moment I’d turned away from her. That was fine. As long as she didn’t come back to shoot me, I was more than happy for her to run far, far away.

  “I think you might be right,” I replied as my eyes moved past Ricky to settle on Mei. The girl was dragging an unconscious Monkey King out of the bumper boat pool. “What happened? Are they allergic to water?”

  “He’s not dead. Don’t worry.” Ricky smiled and shook her head, casting water about her like a large dog, which was weird because she’d already shifted back before I saw her. She never liked to shift, but she’d never told me why. Still, I always wondered how her clothes managed to change size along with her. “Once I held him under until he stopped moving, there was a flash of light and then a weird cloud of smoke vanished into the ether.”

  “Awesome,” I muttered, shaking my head. So they were possessed. That meant we’d have to be careful. Anyone we fought could be innocent. “Just awesome.”

  “Now for the hard part.” She sighed and looked toward the funhouse. It was one of those creepy ones with the big smiling clown and tons of mirrors. “We get to go inside and save Chun.” She glanced over at Mei. “Mei, get the rest of these people out of here. I don’t care if they insist on hiding. Drag them out if you have to. I want the entire area clear.” She paused for a moment, considering. “And make sure the cops don’t show up until we’re done.”

  “As you wish, Alpha,” Mei replied, glancing around at the scattered, frightened groups of people with a lot less confidence than her voice betrayed.

  “You always take me on the best dates,” I replied, moving past Ricky and heading toward the oversized, leering clown. I wasn’t sure how we were going to get in, but I was sure I could find a way. “Next time, I’m picking the place.”

  “You can pick the place when you start paying rent and not a moment before,” Ricky replied, taking my hand as she moved up next to me. “Otherwise keep your mouth shut and enjoy your sugar mama.”

  Dark, swirling energy leapt from the air around the barrier surrounding the funhouse as we approached. It crawled across my skin like icy ants and slithered down my spine like slimy slugs. I hadn’t felt anything quite like it before, but then again, I wasn’t the world’s most experienced mage, or maybe I was, damned memories. Either way, it poked obscenely at my senses with my wrongness. It was like seeing a goddamned slum in the center of Beverly Hills.

  I wasn’t sure how to get past it, but fortunately, I knew someone who would know: the cat demon sitting shotgun in my brain. I still wasn’t quite sure who she was, but I knew two things. She was old and fucking scary. Both of those things combined made me think that even if she didn’t know what this barrier was made from, she could disarm it, assuming of course, she wanted to. She wasn’t always the most helpful partner, even if she did give me access to some pretty powerful magic. That’s what I got for teaming with a cat, I supposed.

  “Here, kitty, kitty,” I whispered, shutting my eyes and opening myself to the mental plain where she liked to hang out. Instantly the image of an immense savannah filled with tall grass sprang into my mind’s eye. I couldn’t see her, but I often couldn’t because she liked to hide in the grass and stalk me.

  She was here though. She was in every breath of fake wind, every waver of the simulated grass, every ray of the synthetic sun. This was the place inside my head she’d crafted for herself. Here, I was a guest. It was sort of weird to think about, like she’d walked into my brain and set up shop. I tried to ignore that as best I could and instead tried to be thankful she hadn’t shut me down first.

  “If you speak to me like that again, Mac Brennan, you will regret it in ways you cannot comprehend.” Her voice filled the whole of the space, and as I turned toward its source, I saw her crouched low in the grass, eyeing me carefully.

  She was in the form of a calico cat the size of a Siberian tiger. If she hadn’t been so big, she’d have been a pretty cat what with her green eyes and a splotch of golden fur around her left eye.

  “Is that because you haven’t yet created the ways in which you will cause me to regret my words?” I asked before I could stop myself. In truth, she could threaten me all she liked, but she needed me. If she didn’t, she’d
have killed me long ago. As it stood, our little Faustian bargain was worth enough to her for me to stay alive. That said, maybe pissing her off when I wanted a favor wasn’t the best idea.

  “It is,” she said, standing and stretching under the high sun. “Do not worry though. I’m quite creative. You will not be disappointed. That, I can guarantee.” She sidled up next to me and rubbed her face against my leg, scenting me like I was her prison bitch, which I guess I sort of was. “I’ll think of something delicious.”

  “I need a favor,” I said, opening my eyes so I could look at both her and the barrier around the funhouse. It was always a little weird to look at the real world and the inner world of my brain at the same time. I could do it, but it always kind of gave me vertigo. Now was no exception. “I need to know how to get through the barrier.” I gestured lamely at it. “Think you can help?”

  “And what makes you think I care about it even slightly?” she asked, continuing to rub her head against me. “There is nothing within that hovel I wish to possess.” A grin spread across her face, which always twisted my stomach. I couldn’t imagine how Alice had dealt with grinning cats because it always strained my sanity, well, what was left of it. “And your desires mean little to me.”

  “Aww, come on.” I knelt down next to her and rubbed her head with one hand. She began to move, positioning herself so my fingers got all the right places. “If you help me get in, it will give us a chance to show off. I’m assuming you saw what was going on with the whole ‘Monkey King’ business?”

  “I have been watching you, yes.” She sat back on her haunches and stared at me. “I’ll admit, I do not like that one of them escaped before I could eat him.”

  “Then help me get their leader.” I smiled. I had this in the bag. “Unless you can’t?” I let the question hang in the air, allowing the silence between us to build.

  “I do not like this, Mac Brennan.” She yawned, revealing teeth the size of my fist. It made a shudder run through me because I wasn’t quite sure what would happen if she attacked me here. I’d probably die. “You are baiting me, and we have spoken about this.”