The Alone Alternative

by Linda MacDonald

  ‘This is Broadclyst, Ted. Not Midsomer. Couldn’t the dog have picked up something when you were out walking?’

  ‘She could, but I have no recollection of anything like that. She’s not the type to pick things up or eat odd bits and pieces when we’re out. Not like the spaniels.’

  ‘Okay, Ted. I’ll go and see her and have a diplomatic word to put your mind at rest.’

  Edward wonders if diplomacy and Olivia belong together, but in the absence of a better plan, he thanks her. ‘Can you do it now, Olivia? If she did do something, it’s urgent we know what.’

  Rick says he will do some work on the garden while waiting for news and Harriet says she will carry on preparing supper.

  ‘Can I invite Rick to stay to eat, please?’

  Edward agrees but with mixed feelings. He is still uncomfortable at the thought of Rick doing what he is no doubt doing with his daughter.

  An hour later, Olivia appears up the drive in her little hatchback. Edward invites her into the kitchen, but Olivia says she would rather speak with Edward alone so he leads her through to the living room.

  ‘I rang Jessica and she was a bit odd on the phone,’ says Olivia, sitting on one of the sofas. ‘So I’ve been to see her. The house was in quite a mess – not like her – and she was behaving very strangely. When she was speaking to me, it was as if she was talking to someone else standing next to me.’

  Edward recalls Marianne telling him something similar when Jessica phoned her. As if she was talking to someone else …

  Olivia says, ‘She didn’t look me in the eye and was very nervy and anxious. I haven’t seen her like that since after her husband died when, understandably, she was in a state. I casually mentioned Meg was at the vet’s and that you were very upset. Her response was unexpected. Last time I saw her you were a saint and now she said, “Well, he had it coming”. I asked her what? She said, “Nothing”. Then she said, “He’s just like all the others”. I asked her whether she had harmed Meg and she said something like, “Every man is a bastard”. She really seemed unhinged. Then she sat down and we had a cup of tea and she started telling me about her violent husband. Anyway, in the course of this she said something that made me very uneasy. I can’t remember her exact words, but the implication was that her husband had it coming too and she wasn’t one to miss an opportunity. I said, “You don’t mean you pushed him down the stairs?” And she said, “He was so drunk, it only needed the slightest touch to knock him off balance”. Then she seemed to snap into the present and she laughed in a weird way and said, “Not that I did, but I could have”. She added that I shouldn’t take any notice, she was a little stressed and what was I saying about Edward’s poor dog. I asked her again whether she had harmed Meg but she had regained control of herself and said it was ridiculous to think she would do such a thing.’

  ‘I don’t like the sound of this,’ says Edward.

  ‘I went home, called the police, told them what she said and that she seemed quite unwell. They said they would investigate my concerns. I expect they will go and talk to her. I mentioned about Meg and I think they thought I’d been watching too many crime dramas. They said they would let me know if there’s anything to report.’

  ‘I had better call them too,’ says Edward.

  ‘Yes, that will help. And I think you should be extra vigilant – just in case. Doors locked, watch your back. And tell Harriet to be careful. If she did do something to Meg, she’s trying to hurt you indirectly via the things you care about.’ Olivia pauses and looks at him intently. ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this. It’s madness.’

  ‘I was thinking the same, Olivia,’ says Edward.

  ‘I hope it’s nothing but I promised Flick I’d look out for you. I think I might have been wrong about Jessica. I’m sorry.’

  Edward is surprised that Felicity should have had any thoughts about his welfare when she was so wrapped up with Gianni and her departure to Siena.

  As Olivia leaves, Edward promises to keep her informed of any developments and joins Harriet in the kitchen. Rick has reappeared and is sitting by the table.

  ‘Are you sure about this?’ he says awkwardly.

  ‘I’m sure,’ says Edward. ‘You’ve helped us; I’m grateful.’

  ‘I’ll take you to and from work,’ says Rick to Harriet. ‘I’ll give your car the once over before you drive it again. As it’s at school, I can do it when I take you in tomorrow.’ He looks at Edward. ‘Check your windows and smoke alarms. Garage your car when not in use. Keep the gates closed.’

  ‘Are we over-dramatising?’ says Edward.

  ‘Better to be safe,’ says Rick. ‘Perhaps I might stay here overnight? I could sleep in Felicity’s outside office like she did for a while. Keep an eye on things.’

  Edward at first considers that this is a threat to his ability to protect his family, but safety is more important than pride and he gratefully consents.

  ‘Stay in Chris’s room,’ says Edward. ‘I’d rather you were in the house than outside if she does try something.’

  ‘Why don’t I stay in Chris’s room,’ suggests Harriet, ‘and Rick in my room. If she is after me, she will get an unwelcome surprise.’

  Edward agrees, then calls the police and tells them everything he thinks might be relevant, including Marianne’s nuisance phone calls.

  ‘We’re making enquiries,’ was all they would say.

  By late evening there has been no word from the vet, so he hopes no news is good news. He doesn’t like to think of Meg being in a cage at the surgery but knows there is no other option.

  He is about to go to bed when he receives a call from Olivia.

  ‘Jessica has disappeared,’ she says.

  35

  Doubts

  Marianne is asleep when she receives the late night call from Edward. Straight away she picks up on his anxiety as he delivers the bad news about Meg. She knows he will be devastated if anything happens to the dog and as for Jessica being the culprit, she would not be surprised. She worries for his safety, unable to bear the thought of him suffering. She knows since he was mugged, he has concerns about being attacked or hurt. He alluded to occasional nightmares. Still worse are fears that she might lose him. On top of her other losses, it would be too much.

  Edward says, ‘I’m calling so late because Olivia has just phoned to say Jessica has gone AWOL. I don’t want to alarm you, but if she did take your address from Gemma’s office … Could you possibly go to stay with Taryn? For a day or two till we know what’s what? It’s probably nothing. But just in case. I’d be happier. If you go to Taryn’s she’d never find you.’

  ‘I can’t do anything tonight. It’s too late. I’m sure I’ll be okay.’

  ‘I’d come up but I need to be here for Harriet and Meg.’

  ‘Don’t even think of it – I wouldn’t want you to. I promise I’ll contact Taryn tomorrow.’

  After Edward’s call she realises she is more concerned than she was admitting and she re-checks all her windows and doors. She spends a restless night with many awakenings, each sound causing her to listen intently for anything suspicious.

  In the morning she is exhausted. She knows exactly how Taryn will feel at the suggestion of sharing her space, even for a short time. But she calls her all the same.

  ‘A surreal occurrence is underway,’ says Marianne. She elaborates.

  ‘A stalker – imagine that! How bizarre,’ says Taryn. ‘If this were Morse, the police would suggest using Edward as a lure – with cops strategically placed around his house to catch Jessica in the act. And if it were Morse, the cops would be at the front, while Jessica makes an entrance through a poorly secured back window. It would be night time with Edward in bed, sleeping soundly while Jessica ascends the stairs with a kitchen knife.’

  ‘Stop it, Taryn. You’re scaring me. Edward has already had one altercation with a knife.’

  ‘Sorry, I forgot. How thoughtless of me. I’m a little manic today. I’m sure Edward w
ill be fine and the dog too. Try not to worry and of course you can stay. It won’t be for long, will it? Pop over with your bag after work. Perhaps Neil would come over and be bodyguard. He’d like that. He’s got aspirations to save the world. I call it his Batman complex.’

  When she hangs up, Marianne envisages Taryn jolted from her usual morning work preparations into hurtling around her flat on a cleaning mission. She doesn’t like anything out of place when she has visitors.

  Surely Jessica wouldn’t come after her? She double checks her house security again before she leaves for college.

  All day between lessons, she struggles to concentrate. As if life isn’t difficult enough at the moment. She has only three weeks left before the holidays, during which she must sort through a massive accumulation of papers and files. She doesn’t officially retire until the end of August and can see she will be spending the first part of the summer holiday in her office with a few bin liners.

  *

  ‘Tell me how things are going relationship-wise,’ says Taryn, after a supper of seafood in a tomato sauce with home-made pasta. ‘When I saw you last week, Edward seemed to be doing all the right things. An unexpected visit. Flowers.’

  ‘Not much to tell,’ says Marianne. ‘I’ve been too busy with work. He says he doesn’t want to pressure me. That’s giving me a chance to work through my feelings; whether I want to take a chance with anyone, never mind him. I was thinking of going to see him after the end of term, but I’ve so much clearing up to do at college. And even if I do go, Harriet will be around. I believe Scilly will be the watershed if anything significant is going to happen.’

  They are sitting at the glass dining table in Taryn’s living room. Marianne arrived earlier, with a small case on wheels and many apologies for inconvenience caused.

  Taryn says, ‘Now that I’ve met him again and had a chance to talk to him, I’ve reviewed my advice. You need to be much flirtier. It’s no good waiting for Scilly. If this is what you want you have to make your intentions clear.’

  ‘I don’t know what I want. I vacillate each day. There are vibes when I speak to him on the phone. I know he’s interested, I know he cares. But I don’t know how much, and I’m not convinced that his feelings for me are strong enough to compensate for me not being like Superwoman Felicity; in other words strong enough for him to want more than a kind of “friendship with benefits” with me, or even a fling.’

  ‘Irrelevant,’ says Taryn. ‘Felicity, that is. She is history. And I don’t know where you get this idea that it will be a fling. I believe he is deeply in love with you but perhaps a little apprehensive.’

  In love … Marianne savours the thought for a few seconds. Is he? Is she? It was easy to fantasise when nothing was likely to happen; easy to see him as being relationship material. She says, ‘We both had happy marriages. I’m doubtful that either of us could live up to what we had before.’

  ‘It won’t be the same because you are older now. People’s needs change. It could be that no one would live up to what either of you had before. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give it a chance.’

  ‘But being alone has its advantages. I sleep much better. I can make X-shapes in bed without disturbing anyone.’

  ‘There’s no reason why you can’t have separate bedrooms for when you need to sleep well. If Neil and I ever live together I will insist on it. It’s a growing trend. Get together at the start of the night and then escape.’

  ‘It’s not only that. It’s liberating being able to please myself. I don’t have to worry about meals and being a domestic goddess.’

  ‘Ah, so it’s you who has the doubts.’

  ‘Perhaps it is,’ says Marianne. ‘The more Edward talks of a future, the more I am unsure. Our differences might not be tolerable. We are both too old to remould ingrained habits to fit those of another.’

  ‘Never too old,’ says Taryn, ‘if the rewards are worth it. Look at me. But this is exactly why Neil remains at another address for the time being. However, with Edward being in Broadclyst, you can’t start worrying about living arrangements until the relationship has been moved forward.’

  ‘We both know Edward was firmly set against compromise when Felicity started her eco-farm and restaurant.’

  ‘You are the goal this time, and your life will change with retirement. He may retire from his current job too. You might find a different way together. Also Edward probably realises his mistakes. He may be more willing and able to compromise now.’

  ‘We have a difference of opinion regarding division of labour on the domestic front,’ says Marianne. ‘This might be an obstacle that would eventually lead to discord. Johnny was very liberated; happy to cook and share in the domestic duties. Edward might be persuaded to iron his own work shirts, but I doubt this would extend to my dresses – particularly the frilly ones. And you know how much I hate ironing.’

  ‘Give me a man who irons frilly dresses and I will be in domestic heaven,’ says Taryn. ‘As I said, the time to worry about this is when you start talking about living together, not before you’ve even had a shag. If he lives up to your expectations, you might be prepared to compromise on the ironing.’

  Taryn clears the plates and disappears into the kitchen, returning with strawberries and ice cream in two glass bowls.

  ‘You may have noticed I’ve put Fifty Shades of Grey on your bedside table. It’s been doing the rounds at school. Regardless of its literary merit, it’s causing a stir; legitimising eroticism. I think it may help to focus your mind on physical pleasures. Not that I’m suggesting anything quite so extreme. I don’t think Edward would be too keen on extreme.’

  ‘For which I’m thankful,’ says Marianne.

  ‘If you get on in the bedroom, the rest of your life will fall into place,’ says Taryn.

  ‘That wasn’t the case with you and Marc.’

  ‘Marc didn’t love me. It was sex, not a relationship with emotional investment. I’ll rephrase. In a love relationship, bedroom compatibility helps to smooth out other differences.’

  ‘Edward is Leo and I am Capricorn. Our suns are squared. We view the world through different eyes. I prevaricate to the point of immobilisation while he generally grasps his opportunities.’

  ‘In that case, you will balance each other perfectly,’ says Taryn. ‘There are some areas where opposites are preferable.’

  ‘We do have compatible moons and Mercurys,’ adds Marianne. ‘Emotional and intellectual understanding and harmony – which can’t be bad. But I’m scared; simply scared. It requires such a leap into the unknown.’

  ‘And if he gave up on you and turned his attentions elsewhere?’

  ‘I’d be devastated.’

  ‘Then you have your answer.’

  ‘But Holly isn’t too keen.’

  ‘So? Again, irrelevant. Eventually Holly will be distracted by her own love affairs; her own life.’

  Every problem envisaged by Marianne is countered by Taryn with common-sense reasoning, yet still she hears the voice of Olivia and dare not believe that Edward would want her for the long term.

  36

  Turbulence

  It has been two days since Meg was taken ill and Edward drops in at the vet’s on the way back from work. He has visited each morning and evening, his emotions stirred by the helplessness of this once vibrant animal. She has kept him sane since Felicity left.

  This evening he finds her with eyes open and the faintest movement of her tail as she tries to wag a welcome. She is attached to a drip. He sits on the floor by the cage and strokes her, talking calmly to her, willing her to get better. Natalie, the vet, says there is small improvement but with the probability of at least some organ damage, it is still too early to be optimistic of recovery.

  He tells Meg about his day; about the walk he had that morning that seemed purposeless without her; about wishing she were home to act as guard dog while Jessica’s whereabouts are unknown. Each time he says goodbye, he wonders if it might be fo
r the last time and he gives her a pat, saying, ‘Thank you, old girl, for watching over me, for being such a good friend.’

  And this time the tail moves a little and the dark brown eyes look mournful. He is sure she understands, if not the words, then the depth of his feeling and his pain.

  At the Deer Orchard, Rick is temporarily housed in Christopher’s room and Edward is unnerved by the sexual chemistry that crackles like static whenever Harriet and he are in close proximity. He is surprised he never noticed it before. Perhaps they hid it well, or it dissipated into the ether because they were mostly outdoors when they were together on the premises. Or perhaps, like his failure to notice Felicity and Gianni, he saw what he wanted to see. Nothing.

  Harriet’s car appeared fine when Rick checked it and when not in use it is now garaged along with the Volvo. Sometimes he thinks they are being over-cautious, but Rick is adamant that until they know for certain that Jessica is not responsible for Meg’s illness, it is essential to assume the worst and to take care. It is reassuring that he is showing such responsibility – not a characteristic Edward had previously attached to the person some had spoken of as the Lothario of Broadclyst.

  ‘We know she’s nuts, and nutters are unpredictable,’ said Rick.

  Edward would have been more politically correct in his use of language, but he agrees with the sentiment.

  *

  In the middle of the night, Edward is in a deep sleep when he wakes with a start. It takes a while to process the possibility that there might have been an unusual noise. The security light is on outside and the clock registers 02:07. He grabs his dressing gown and opens the bedroom door, his heart audible, pulsing in his ears. Christopher’s door is open. Perhaps it was Rick going to the bathroom, but the bathroom door is ajar and there is no sound from within. He creeps downstairs in the darkness, mindful of the creaking floorboards. Again he wishes Meg were at home. She would be sure to bark if anything were amiss.