Summer Daze

by Renee Porter

  My friends nodded their heads as I moved through the throngs of people. I went straight to the nearest vendor and bought two iced waters for ten bucks. What a rip off.

  I drained one water bottle and the other I kept as a coolant for my neck. The summer sun was beating down so heavily I was sure that I was going to pass out any minute.

  As my friends stayed over next to the big stages, I pursued the small tents which held band merchandise and the like. A small rainbow wristband was the first thing I saw and I bought it for five bucks. The next tent had an EP of a band that I hadn’t heard of yet. It was playing over the Bluetooth and I decided that it wasn’t my type of music.

  All of the booths had one person talking over everyone else so that it would attract patrons. I would smile as they would call out to me, sometimes not so ‘nice’ things. Those guys I just passed my way as I held up my rainbow bracelet.

  “Miss, ever heard of Solithane? Come take a listen.” I looked up at the sound of name at once and found a young girl holding up a CD. I had heard the name before and I languidly walked over. The booth had merchandise lining the walls. T-Shirts and hats with “Solithane” etched in them in different colors seemed to be the style of choice. Their CD was playing and I smiled, actually smiled, when I heard the voice.

  “I’ll take one.” I held up the CD to the saleswoman and handed her over a twenty. It was a small price to pay.

  “They’re going to be on stage four in about fifteen.”

  I smiled a thanks at her but my fingers gripped the bag like a lifeline. I hadn’t seen El in three years. I haven’t talked to her in over one and now there was a possibility that we were in the same city again? Let alone the same damn fair grounds?

  I decided that it wasn’t such a horrible idea to just take a look at the band. I did like their music. I could be a fan and I was sure that I wouldn’t even be noticed. Hell, El would probably do her set and then leave, needing to be somewhere else by tonight or tomorrow.

  I also couldn’t believe how incredibly proud I was of her.

  I made my way over to stage four just as the last band was finishing up. There weren’t that many people, but as the roadies set up for Solithane, a larger group gathered. Within two minutes of the band taking stage, there was a large enough group to have the heat turned up just a little bit more.

  “You like Solithane?” A pretty brunette from my right asked as we waited for the band to start. I scrunched up my nose as the sun blocked my vision, shielding it with my hand I responded.

  “Yeah, I’ve heard them a few times. They’re good.”

  The girl pointed at my rainbow band and then pointed at her own.

  “I don’t know if wearing this thing is any better or not with the guys.” I smiled at her.

  “Yeah, but it does help us out at least.” I shrugged a shoulder as the girl chuckled.

  “I’m Lucy,” she held out her hand and I shook it in greeting.

  “Jay,” I smiled. The roar of the crowd started as soon as the electric guitar started to play. The band was pumped and fed their energy to the crowd. El had yet to show, but if it was similar to what I had seen with other sets, they would begin to start to play and then she would come out and start singing.

  I was right.

  Not more than thirty seconds later, El came out on stage holding the microphone. She looked confident, beautiful and slightly reminded me of a girl that I once knew.

  “She’s so hot!” Lucy yelled over the crowd. I nodded at her and just enjoyed watching the energy of the fans. Most sang along with the words. Some songs were quick and upbeat, some were slower and more heartfelt. Those were the ones that made me yearn for a summer once forgotten.

  “Thank you! We’re Solithane! Don’t forget to drop by the booth!”

  I watched as El exited the stage and for a second I followed her steps. Then my eyes found the large bouncer blocking the back and I decided it was for the best.

  “Hey, do you want to get a beer? Maybe walk around for a bit?” The invitation from Lucy might have been just what I needed. She seemed nice enough and she had beautiful dark brown eyes and nice tanned, toned legs.

  God I was a sucker for legs.

  “Sure, lead the way.”

  Lucy and I walked to a few more stages while sipping on beers. We both agreed that the larger stages were riddled with too many people, so we kept to ourselves mainly hanging in the back of sets and listening in while getting used to each other.

  I found out that she was a native Californian. She had just graduated from Cal State San Francisco and was currently looking into medical schools. She had hoped to be a doctor one day.

  I didn’t know exactly what to say to that. People with ambition slightly frightened me. In fact, it frightened me so much to where I had to declare ‘liberal arts’ as my major.

  I honestly still had no idea what to do.

  “Oh, look. She’s signing autographs.” We had circled the grounds a few times and kept landing at the booths. This time, however, Lucy was far more excited to see El signing some T shirts and CD cases. I nodded my head as Lucy grabbed me by the hand and rushed me over. It wasn’t that long until we were at the front.

  “Oh god. I love your title track, El. You guys are going to sky rocket.” El looked up with that twinkle in her eye and thanked Lucy. She looked down at the held hands and then followed them up to me.

  Recognition set in. Every time I envisioned seeing El again it was always the same. We would look at each other through a crowded room. She would laugh and come running, slow motion in my direction, hugging me and telling me how much she missed me.

  Again, fantasies don’t always come true.

  “Hey,” it was all she said as she looked down at our held hands and matching bracelets. El, because she is the person she will always be, gave me a tilt of her head and a slow teasing smile.

  “Hey, you were great.” It was bland and boring. But I guess that’s kind of what my life was described as these days.

  “Thanks. Glad you could come out. Here, take this.” El scribbled her signature on the inside sleeve of a CD case and handed it to me.

  “It’s okay – I already bought one earlier –“ I didn’t want her giving away her merch. That would be like taking money out of her pocket.

  “I insist, Jayce.” I took it, knowing that Lucy was curious how El Bloom just happened to know my name. I accepted the CD with a simple thanks and bid goodbye to El.

  That didn’t go half as bad as I thought it would.

  “You know each other.” Lucy said astonished. “How do you know her? Is she as cool as she looks? Is it true she’s bi or is she just saying that to get more of a fan base?” And then she stopped. “Oh my god, have you slept with her?”

  That was a lot of personal from someone I knew only for a few hours. Instead I just denied everything and told Lucy that we had met at a party once before they were even semi-well-known. She seemed to think that was a good enough answer.

  Lucy had invited me back to her hotel, and while I pretended to think about it, I knew for a fact that I wasn’t going to go. In fact, I had texted my friends to let them know that I had a massive case of heat stroke and was going to take the train back to Los Angeles.

  It wasn’t a total lie. I was feeling a little sick, but it didn’t have much to do with the hot sun.

  I walked the short mile to the hotel and gathered my items. I grabbed the bag of CDs that I had purchased at the venue, removed them, and shoved them in the bag. But then, out of curiosity, I opened the one that El had given me. I smiled at the familiar handwriting.

  Dinner?

  Ventura Pier – Joe’s – 9 o’clock

  -El

  ***

  I walked into Joe’s not expecting much but also expecting so much than I thought possible. I scanned the crowded restaurant for a familiar face but wasn’t met by one.

  “Excuse me ma’am? Can I help you?”

  I was already ten minutes late and it wasn
’t like El to be late for anything, really.

  “Yes, I’m meeting someone here? El Bloom?” The host scrolled the names and smiled.

  “Right this way.”

  I followed the host to the outside dinner section overlooking the ocean. As soon as El saw me she stood and then, just like we were transported to our teens, El hugged me tight.

  “Jayce.” It was all she said. I smiled into her neck and breathed in the familiar scent of sunscreen and the shore.

  “Hey, you. Damn, you look good.” El kept my eyes captivated as she looked me up and down openly.

  “You, too. The years have been good to you.”

  I chuckled at El’s easy way to please and finally sat, sipping on the already provided water.

  “Very smooth with the CD by the way. I was almost heading out before I took a look to read it. You would’ve been sitting out here all alone, thinking I stood you up.”

  El’s smile faltered. “I knew you’d come eventually.” There was that tilt of the head again.

  “How have you been, Jayce.”

  Good. Bad. Confused. So sure of life. Take your pick. “I’ve been good, El. But how about you! My goodness, I didn’t realize how big you guys have become in the last few years.”

  El took the compliment and rolled with her adventures on the road. She said that she had been in Santa Barbara a few times and had tried to look me up but I wasn’t listed.

  It was okay that El lied to me. I knew that she could find me if she wanted to. All she really had to do was call Justin, or even my cell. But, in all honesty, would I have even picked up?

  “Well, next time just shoot me a message and we’ll figure out a time to get together.”

  “It has been too long, hasn’t it?” I nodded my head agreeing.

  “It has.”

  “What have you been up to? How’s school? Have you graduated yet? Married? Three kids and a white picket fence?” I chuckled at the rapid fire spurting from El’s mouth. “I’ve really just been trying to get through school. I have a job down in Santa Barbara in operations for a retail giant, I will be graduating next year, hopefully. Three kids, and a mansion on the beach with a very large white picket fence.” I joked.

  “And does that mean Lucy is baby mama?” El asked in seriousness. I bit my lip wondering if I wanted to get into personal relationships.

  “Maybe,” I shrugged my shoulder but I could tell El wasn’t satisfied with the answer. “You know I’m not one for kissing and telling.”

  El leaned in a little closer. “Well, that’s because the one you were kissing was me.”

  I didn’t allow the comment to get to me. “You know, you do have a valid point.” El smirked.

  “You make me feel like a kid again.”

  “You are still a kid.” Again, she laughed. “How has your family been?” I watched as El’s expression changed from happy to vulnerable in an instant.

  “It’s been okay. Summer is getting engaged this fall.”

  “Wait, she’s getting engaged? How does she know that?”

  El laughed. “She told the guy to buy the ring. Even told him what day to do it and how. But just between you and me,” El leaned in closer again, “He’s gonna do it a full week before. Mind. Blown.” She made an explosion noise, which made me in turn miss her a little more.

  “And your dad?”

  “You know, it’s been better between us.”

  “He’s still not happy with your career choice?” El shook her head through a sip of her water. “Is he the reason why you haven’t come back?” The question took us both by surprise but I didn’t backtrack even though everything inside of me wanted to.

  “There have been a few reasons. He would definitely be one.”

  “Any others I should be aware of?” I asked without meeting her eyes. I couldn’t give an explanation. Maybe it was a sense of closure that I never received. Maybe I needed to know if it was just a fling – maybe we weren’t really in love. I couldn’t help but think it was a little too easy for her to put distance between us.

  “Are you asking if I didn’t come back because I knew you would be there?” I nodded in response. “Yes. That’s, right, in a sense I guess.” El tried for a smile but I couldn’t match hers. Instead I held onto my water, and looked every where but at the woman in front of me.

  “How about we go for a walk?”

  I nodded my head but the only thing I really wanted to do was run. Run as far away from this place, from this woman as possible. Because I knew that I was still very much in love with El and it hurt knowing that she had moved on so easily from that.

  “I think I should elaborate a little about before.”

  “You don’t have to, El. You don’t have to explain anything to me.” We walked along the shore line of Ventura beach. El’s hotel was located a mile and a half down the beach and she offered to ride me back to my hotel after. I couldn’t understand why she was caring so much about the ghost in her past.”

  “I know I don’t have to but, I –“ El started again, “it took me a while to get used to not having you there. I know how that sounds now, but, it’s the truth. And then after a while of not talking, I knew that if I had seen you again it would just reset all the work I had put in it.”

  “So, what you’re saying is you would’ve rather not had me in your life…” I kept my arms in a defensive hold around my middle.

  “No, Jayce. That’s not it at all. I mean, you seemed to do so well with it all. You always sounded happy and fine without me. But I was the complete opposite. I couldn’t even think without hearing your voice first. And then when the shows started to amp up I was able to put my soul into something else”

  “And someone else.” I winced at my words. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.”

  “Somehow I think you did, actually.” The conversation lulled at my immature phrase. But what I couldn’t understand was how El thought that her leaving meant nothing to me. Didn’t she know how absolutely broken I was without her?

  “It wasn’t easy. It was in fact the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life.” I told her. I could already see her hotel looming closer in the distance.

  “Well that’s not what it seemed like to me.”

  “Because you were in a different city every night, El. I couldn’t even keep track of where you were let alone when to call your ‘assistant’ to even get in touch with you.” I rushed ahead as the hotel now opened up to the beach. All I wanted to do was get out of there, and lord help me I was going to call a taxi to do it.

  “What do you mean call my ‘assistant’?”

  I turned around to a fuming, El. We had never fought before but I could already tell this was not a good situation for me. Because mad El was definitely stunning.

  “You know, your ‘assistant’ I gave air quotes. Which one told me that you were indisposed in the moment? Was that Ashley? Oh wait no…it was Greg. Ashley was the one that picked up your phone when you doing god whatever knows to her and told me to call back. Do you really want me to continue?” El turned her head and ran her fingers through her hair.

  “Shit.”

  “Yeah. Look, I get it okay? I do. We decided to end it and you could do what you want with whomever you want, but you left me behind, El. Can’t you see that? You left me. I was your damn best friend and I couldn’t even call you to tell you when I was having a bad day, or just to tell you that I missed you. And I did. I missed you every day. I missed you so much that I couldn’t try anymore to contact you because it hurt too much when you wouldn’t call back.”

  “I loved you. I loved everything about you. I loved you so much that I let you go. So don’t tell me that it wasn’t hard. Because it was. It will always be hard for me.”

  “Are you done now?” El was breathing hard, and I closed my mouth and nodded. “Good.”

  It only took three steps for El to place her lips on my own. She engulfed me with everything she had and I was too exhausted and heated to tell her to
stop. In hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best idea. Also in hindsight, it was one of the most memorable moments of my life.

  “What are you doing?” I asked her trying to gather my senses.

  “I don’t know, but I can’t stop, Jayce. I –“ El looked at me, her eyes pleading. The blue swirled with dark passion and it was my undoing.

  “Take me inside?” I asked. El nodded as she took my hand leading me inside the hotel and pulling me into the elevator. She pushed me up against the wall almost immediately, stealing the very breath from my lungs. I felt her all over and for a moment I wondered if what we were doing was wrong. But as she palmed my breast through the thin fabric of my dress I decided it didn’t matter anymore. I wanted El. I was sure I would always want her.

  The elevator dinged and I groaned at the loss of warmth from her lips. El hurried us down to her door and opened it. For one brief moment I tried to compose myself. I watched El do the same. Only three breaths more and we were shedding clothes. Piece by piece, like unwrapping a precious present. El was even more beautiful than I remembered and as I ran my hands up and down her body, my mind went to how I knew her best.

  El bucked underneath me, pleading, begging, breathing hard until I finally gave her what she wanted. But instead of actually finishing, El stopped me and slowed everything down. She looked deep into me as she kissed me softly, gently. I kept my eyes on her as I went at her pace, feeling her ever curve against me. It was just like how we were before. Soft and slow and sensual.

  Just two kids in love.

  ***

  “What are you thinking?” I asked. The light was starting to come up. El and I had made love until the early morning, rested and then returned to our activities again. It’s what I missed about being with someone like El. Just the pure want to be as close as possible to them. I felt her put her head to my chest and listen to my heart. Could she hear it already starting to chip away?

  “I wish you could come with me.” I know it wasn’t an invitation this time. More like a regret. I shifted slightly to look at her. I knew El too well to know that she had more to say.