SEAL of Fate: A Navy SEAL Romance

by Darcy Kent

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  When I awoke in the morning, Ryder was gone…again. And, for the next three days every morning when I woke up he was nowhere to be found.

  When he would come back, he was always a little distant.

  “Hey,” I said when he came back from wherever he went in the mornings.

  “Hey, yourself. Do you work tonight?”

  “Yeah, you?”

  “Yep,” he said.

  “Can I ask you where you went this morning?” And every morning.

  His sexy eyes met mine, and he laughed. Oh no more laughter, anytime I’d ask him something he would laugh it off.

  “I went home.” He walked into the kitchen where I was enjoying some shredded oats and took a seat in a stool next to me.

  “Oh no please don’t tell me you’re married.” This was it. The only explanation. He had a family he was neglecting.

  “No, not married. I went home to water my plants.”

  Seriously? Who does this? And, most importantly why weren’t we having sex anymore?

  We had the one night, and I wanted him more and more, but he never made a move on me. I glanced down to my shredded oats and dropped my spoon in the bowl.

  “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “Yeah, fine.”

  He hopped off the stool as I sat there like a dummy. I didn’t know what to say to him. I wanted to know so much more about him, I wanted to know where he lived, and why he wasn’t staying there.

  There was an idea brewing in my mind, and by this time tomorrow I would have some answers.

  We went off to work later in the evening, and work went by in a rush. Ryder flirted with every woman around, and my jealousy was off the charts. Was he trying to make me jealous?

  When the night was almost over I saw Waverly standing near the bar and rushed over to him.

  “What are you doing here, hot stud?” I asked.

  “Checking out the fine piece of ass behind the bar.”

  For a split second the image of just how fine Ryder’s ass was flashed through my mind. I shook my head quickly, trying to erase the image like an etch-a-sketch.

  “Oh, well I’m glad to see you. He’s actually staying with me.” I don’t know why I offered up that information, maybe I was proud, or wanted Waverly to be jealous. God dammit, I wanted to make someone jealous tonight. Ryder hadn’t even glanced my way all night, not once.

  “What?” Oh, I had Waverly’s attention now. All of his muscles went rigid as he stood there looking at me as if I had two heads, or maybe three.

  “Yeah, he needed a place to stay.”

  “And? Are you and he an item? Grant says you haven’t called him in a few days.”

  I scrunched my face at him as I thought about Grant. “Ugh, don’t remind me.”

  “Girl, there’s something going on with you. You’d better spill it,” Waverly said.

  At that moment, I saw one of my tables being sat and was thankful for the reprieve. “Hate to drop a bomb and run, but I have to get their drink order. Don’t leave we will catch up.”

  I walked away from Waverly as I went over to the booth and had to deal with an already intoxicated rowdy bunch.

  At the end of the night, Waverly must have left because I didn’t see him anywhere. When I got to the lockers, Marissa cornered me.

  “Hey, Helena. I’m going to invite Ryder over tonight.” She was brimming with a cheery disposition I found nauseating.

  My brain was banging inside of my head, begging to be freed. I couldn’t think anymore about anything. Sensory overload, or something like that. I just wanted to take a bath, and curl up and read a book. Although, I’d never read a book completely in my life. It was something I was willing to do though to get away from all of the stress everyone was causing me.

  “That’s great.” I smiled and pushed my way past her.

  When I walked out of the break room, I slammed the bathroom door in and walked in pissed off. I clamped my finger at the bridge of my nose, and wanted a nice shot of something liquid. Something that would make my brain swim, and my blood become intoxicated. Does that make sense? Well, it made sense in my mind, and luckily that’s where we were right now.

  Lost in deep thought in my fucked up mind, images slammed in my vision of Ryder’s mouth on my breasts, Ryder’s tongue on my vagina. Why couldn’t I think straight?

  When I stepped out of the bathroom, I saw Marissa and Ryder chatting away like two eighty-year-old women, red hats and all.

  They weren’t wearing red hats, but that’s all I saw….RED!

  I trudged through the back door, and took in the balmy air. Spring was so close to making its presence known in New York, and I rushed to the subway entrance when I heard footsteps behind me. I didn’t turn around, and tried to remember these ninja skills I said I had. Okay, maybe I didn’t have ninja skills per se, but I’d watched a few kung fu movies to understand the gist of it. I reached in the bag and wrapped my fingers around the pepper spray. The footsteps drew closer, and I pulled it out.

  A hand touched my shoulder, heart pounding, I whipped around and sprayed the aerosol can at my attacker.

  “What the fuck, Helena,” Ryder screamed.

  He knelt over with both hands rubbing his eyes. I thought he had hung back at the bar with Marissa, my ex-friend.

  “Oh my God, Ryder. I’m so sorry.” I leaned over and patted his back, sure it doesn’t do anything for pepper spray directly to the eye, but I felt bad enough.

  He stood, after coughing uncontrollably for a minute or two and his eyes were so red, I felt bad.

  “Shit, I’m so sorry.”

  “Remind me not to sneak up on you ever again,” he said, rubbing his eyes.

  “Why did you? Why didn’t you call out my name?”

  “I didn’t think you would try to kill me.”

  “I didn’t try to kill you, such a drama queen,” I said with a small smile.

  Even after being pepper sprayed the man was still gorgeous. It just wasn’t fair to other men. His eyes ran over me like a marathon runner aiming for the gold medal as I sucked in a breath.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  “What do you mean, I’m headed home.”

  “Well, I’m going with you. I thought we would go together.”

  I turned on my heel to continue my walk as he rushed to catch up. My foul mood dissipated some after I realized I hurt him with the pepper spray, but still something was off about him. I didn’t know if I had the energy to even figure out what it was anymore.

  We made it to my apartment without incident, and after I showered and put on fresh clothes, Ryder stood by my door, watching me. No, not while I dressed. He came to my door once I was all finished….geeze.

  His piercing eyes well they fucking pierced right through me, and I couldn’t catch my breath. I wanted him, again but didn’t know if it was wise to make a move.

  Well, lucky for me it didn’t matter what I thought because Ryder pounced on me like a Sumo wrestler attacking his opponent.

  My hands flew to my mouth when Ryder yanked my pants down my legs, and the force he was controlling me with was such a turn on. I didn’t have time to react, or think even. His body owned me, and when he brought his lips to mine, fireworks exploded. Maybe not fireworks, but something shifted between us, and my heart pounded against my chest.

  Ryder climbed on top of me and his hand ran down my sides landing on the juncture of my thighs. His warm breath skated across my ear as he let out a low moan. God, what was he doing to me?

  Every dirty novel you’ve ever read, every porno movie you’ve ever seen, had nothing on the way this man was touching me. One hand had already taken off my shirt and bra, the other continued rubbing my wet heat.

  His tongue traced mine as my mind caught up to what we were doing. The sensation he was causing deep within me was driving me batty. Freaking batty.

  I loved every feel, ever
y erotic touch. His erection pressed against my thigh while I bucked my hips underneath him.

  “Do you want me, Helena?”

  “Yes, fuck yes,” I screamed.

  “Tell me, tell me what you want.”

  He stood from me as I lay there panting, he lowered his jeans to the floor, discarding his boxers in the process. His smile broke free across his face as his eyes raked over me. His body was pure sex, his eyes were trance-like as he gazed into mine.

  “I want you to fuck me, Ryder,” I said, hoping, wishing, praying he would.

  “Where?”

  “Everywhere,” I yelled.

  Pleased with my answer, he climbed onto the bed and hovered over me. He brought his lips down, and I leaned up to taste them.

  They tasted so good, so damn good. He leaned back a bit and grabbed his throbbing cock in his hand. He pumped it a few times while his eyes caught mine.

  “I want you so bad, Helena. I don’t know what you’re doing to me.” He pushed himself inside me after he had the condom in place.

  It felt so good, so big. His dick was stretching me out, but I loved every moment of sex with him. He watched my face like I was made of glass and he was afraid of shattering me. My hand flew to the side of his cheek in a tender touch as I brought him down. Our lips hovered over each other, and that’s when I noticed the intense feeling my body was building to. My orgasm was close, showing her existence looming closer.

  “Ryder, please.”

  “Please, what? What do you need Helena, tell me you need my cock? Tell me you need me.”

  I told him, and I repeated it so he knew I meant it. He rocked into me harder, going deeper than before. My legs wrapped around his back, and he reached behind him to trace his fingers along my calf. It was sexy.

  “Tell me you want my cock. Tell me you want me.”

  I screamed it back to him, begging for release. The feelings were building and I would tell him anything to have him never stop.

  “Tell me, Helena.” The way he moaned my name, the way his eyes held mine- it was too much. Too insane.

  I told him again how badly I wanted him as he kept up his punishing pace.

  “Tell me you love my cock,” he groaned out.

  “I love it. I love your cock,” I cried. And by crying, I was almost in tears of how emotional I was feeling, how insane our connection was. His chest pressed against my hard nipples, his hands running in my hair, across my cheek, and down my body. His breath across my lips, I begged for more.

  “Tell me you love my cock, tell me you love…”

  My mind was hazy, enjoying this moment. In this moment, I knew what Ryder wanted me to say, but how could I say that to him. How could I tell him I love him? Did he love me? No, crazy.

  He begged me to tell him, pleading to my inner girly emotions. You know, the emotions that want the great love affair. The part of every girl that wants the romance. The great love story. The epic man.

  This wasn’t me, was it? I was growing confused as my body was coming close to unraveling, and I clamped my mouth shut for fear of shouting at the top of my lungs I was in love with him.

  His body picked up, as my body slammed down all around me. My orgasm ebbed and flowed like the ocean. My body shook and spasmed as he followed right after me. Shouting my name as he came.

  He snuck a glance at me as he made his way out the door to head to the bathroom. When he came back, we kissed and then fell asleep in each other’s arms. It was the first time we actually slept in the same bed together…like just slept.

  Chapter Seven

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  The moment I woke up,I knew I was in the bed alone. I jumped to my feet as my eyes darted to the clock. It was still early. Was Ryder still here?

  I heard a commotion in the kitchen and peeked my head out of my bedroom door. Ryder was in the kitchen, then he was lacing up his shoes and I sprang into action. I slipped on my shoes, threw on a sweater and pulled my hair back into a band.

  Ryder left the house, and I slid right out after him two seconds later. He walked down the busy streets of New York City, and I followed. Not too close, definitely not far enough to lose him. I had to know.

  Where was he going? Where did he live? Please someone tell me something about this guy?

  I was afraid for a moment I would lose him if he dropped down into the subway tunnels, but I stayed hopeful, and right on his fucking tail. Actually, I was pretty good at this shit, and thought about starting a future in private eye work.

  When Ryder slowed near a building, I paused. He walked up the steps and disappeared behind the glass door. I took a few steps toward the entrance, but not wanting to be seen I decided to hold back a few minutes.

  When I felt the coast was clear, I stepped inside the building. It was a huge lobby, and I didn’t know what I was doing. A man behind the counter glanced at me, asking me if I had an appointment.

  “No, I’m sorry.” I stepped up to the counter and peered at him for answers. Why couldn’t this random man behind the counter answer all of my unasked questions about Ryder?

  “Well, Dr. Nevins is very busy. Maybe you can make an appointment and come back.”

  “Sure, absolutely.” I turned on my heel, and bolted from the building.

  Gained with enough to play detective a little more, I pulled out my phone and typed in the name. Images of a Dr. Dawn Nivens filled my phone. She was a PhD, a psychiatrist, specializing with PTSD patients from the military. Military? Ryder was seeing a shrink?

  Walking back to my place, my mind swirled with so many questions. I needed answers, and it was time Ryder started answering them.

  When I made it back to my apartment, I opened the door and was met with Grant’s big eyes.

  “Hey, Helena. How are you? It’s been a while, so I figured I’d stop by.”

  “What in the morning? Before noon?” Anyone who was anyone in my life knew I never made it out of my bed before noon. Working in a bar, well, it was a zombie life I led. I was fine with it too. Early to bed, early to rise….I was the complete opposite.

  “I just haven’t heard from you. I was worried.”

  “Ha, yeah sure,” I said, pushing past him and flinging my body onto the couch.

  “So, how have you been?”

  “Really, Grant? You’re going to come over here and start with idle pleasantries? Please, I think you should go. It was fun while it lasted.” I’ll admit I was rude, a little rough around the edges, but sugar coating something that was never was….was well, just plain dumb. Nothing that never was- wasn’t. Okay, just some ridiculousness to consider.

  Anyways, his eyes were wide like the ocean, and his mouth opened and closed like he was bobbing for apples at the damn county fair. He stood center in my living room, when there was a knock on my front door.

  Oh God, kill me please. Who could that be?

  Grant held his hand out for me to stay seated as he walked to the door and flung it open. And of course, right on fucking cue was Ryder. Looking dreamy and out of sorts as well. When I noticed his expression, I rose from the couch. Afraid to get too close.

  Okay, Grant was being a hindrance and I needed him to go, because staring at Ryder he didn’t appear so good.

  “Grant, I think you should go,” I said, making my way to the door.

  Ryder stepped inside and his smile was immediate. “Yeah Grant, I think you should go.”

  “What?” Grant still didn’t get it, did he?

  Ryder chuckled, a sexy chuckle at that and crossed his arms over his massive muscle-clad chest. “You heard the lady.”

  “Fuck you,” Grant spat as he rushed out the door.

  I didn’t think I’d be hearing from him ever again. Good.

  Ryder walked inside and sank onto the couch as I shut the front door. The air was thick, and all of that. Swirling in the air was my questions I couldn’t bring myself to ask. I mustered up some courage and sat down beside hi
m.

  “You have to level with me Ryder, what’s going on?”

  He turned to face me, fear in his eyes and then he let out a loud breath. “Fuck, okay I’ll tell you everything.”

  Finally, my body wanted to stand up and start singing ‘Hallelujah’ while dancing simultaneously along with it.

  His face grew solemn, and I could tell by the way he was hesitating he didn’t want to continue. I grabbed his hand in mine and offered him an encouraging smile. See, I could be nice when I wanted to be.

  “I was in the military…fuck, no, I fought hard for my country. I saw things no one should ever see. I experienced things no man should ever have to experience.”

  I scooted closer as he continued, “After my time overseas, I left the military and now I don’t know. After I left I came home, and everyone expected me to go back to normal. But, how could I? I didn’t even know what normal was anymore.”

  “I’m sorry.” I was at a loss for words and tried my hardest to offer up some profound words of wisdom. But, let’s face it…I knew nothing of war. I knew nothing of what these brave women and men fought for to ensure our freedom.

  He drew in a breath before he continued, “When I came home, my mother would stop by daily to check in on me. It was driving me insane. She figured I needed to talk with someone, and set up an appointment with a psychiatrist. I was furious, so I got the job at the club to piss her off. Then I stopped going home.”

  Again, at a loss for words I just nodded.

  “Then it wasn’t long until I couldn’t feel anything anymore. Like anything, I became a shell. Just kind of going through the motions. Do you know what that’s like, Helena?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  Maybe I did, I mean it wasn’t like my life was all glam and glitter. I was a barmaid, and going nowhere. I felt things, but lately it felt more like all I ever felt was anger. Why was I always so angry? I spoke up before he could respond, “Actually, I haven’t felt anything in a long time either, well except for anger.”

  “Why are you so angry?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” I whispered.

  Ryder’s eyes met mine and he leaned in to grab my cheek with his hand. “Helena, for some reason you are the first person to make me feel, again.” His lips met mine, and I couldn’t think straight.