Love was a foreign emotion to him, and for the first time in his life he knew what it meant. He wanted to drive those stupid female feelings out of his mind. and this had seemed like the perfect solution. Now he knew that he may have very well lost the only woman that he could ever love and he slammed his hands down on the steering wheel hard. "Stupid ass stubborn man," he said out loud.
chapter Twenty
Broken
Scarlett curled up on the tile floor of the kitchen and wept. She didn't have the strength of will to get up and allowed her mind to sink into the mental agony as each night with him replayed in her mind like a movie that didn't have an end. Her heart ached with the realization that he'd never truly given a damn about her. She wanted to rip his balls off and shove them down his throat. At the same time she wanted to beg him to come back and take away this horrible empty feeling that left her feeling like nothing would ever be right in her life again.
Why did she have to fall in love with the one man in this world that was so fucking screwed up that he could never give her what she needed? Was she really so fucked up that she could only find passion with a demented asshole who only knew how to show affection by destroying her mentally? Lost in her own mental hell she didn't even acknowledge the slender arms that held her as she allowed the tears to fall, attempting to wash away the misery that her mind couldn't deal with outwardly.
Janie and David had walked in laughing about the great evening they'd enjoyed to be silenced at the sight of Scarlett laying in the fetal position, not even hearing them ask if she was okay as sobs racked her small frame. David had lifted her into his arms but she had fought him like a wild animal trying to free herself and he had Janie sit down on the floor and laid the girls' head in her lap, which calmed her instantly.
He had no idea what to do and called Rhett to find out just what the hell had happened tonight. When he gotten the entire night scene retold to him, he make the decision to call in one of the psychiatrists that played in the dungeons with them from time to time and invited her over.
Rhett had insisted that he come over and David demanded that he stay far away from her until they had some professional help. He knew Rhett was not one to be ordered around, and even after all their years of friendship he threatened him with law enforcement if he came anywhere near her.
An hour later Sylvia walked into the condo, shocked at the state the woman was in. "I think someone needs to start talking." She was infuriated at the state of the young woman, and was more than a little perplexed as she listened to David recant the scene from earlier.
She'd seen rape victims in her emergency room visits respond in a manner like this, but never a lifestyle person who had reacted with such psychosis. "I have to admit I'm completely perplexed. Wasn't this scene discussed in contracts?" Sylvia was completely baffled.
Janie, still holding Scarlett in her arms stroking her hair like a child, spoke up. "She was new to the lifestyle. Actually she was a virgin until she and Rhett first met. They had decided to do safe words instead of contract until Scarlett knew more about what her limits were."
"So I'm to assume he took a complete innocent, not just an innocent in our lifestyle, but with no sexual experience whatsoever and threw her straight into something like this?" She wanted to beat the living shit out of Rhett herself, for being such a complete idiot.
Janie nodded, trying to remain calm and soothe Scarlett, but her mind was filled with adrenaline at the tongue lashing she wanted to give Rhett. The only thing holding her temper at bay at the moment was Scarlett's needs.
"It doesn't take a professional to see the woman's in shock," Sylvia shook her head attempting to hold on to her own professionalism. She would be having a long discussion with Rhett about his decisions tonight.
Scarlett looked around her finally seeing the people surrounding her and closed her eyes. Sighing deeply she tried to get her shit together. She hadn't meant to go completely ape shit, which was pretty apparent she did since Janie was holding her like a child, and David and some strange lady were looking at her like she was something to be pitied. "What happened?" keeping her eyes closed for a moment before being willing to open them, she asked quietly. She felt even more idiotic knowing that she had scared her best friend.
"You had us scared to death honey," Janie hugged her tightly before letting go.
"Scarlett, how are you feeling now?" Sylvia knelt down and smiled reassuringly at the young woman.
"Um, I'm sorry who are you," she had no idea who this lady was and wasn't about to talk to her until she did.
"I'm a friend of David's and Janie's, but I'm also a Psychiatrist." She smiled again wanting to put her at ease.
Groaning softly she sat up, "Look I'm sorry for the inconvenience, I just freaked out, but seriously I'm fine now."
"You've been catatonic for the last two hours, I don't think you're fine." Sylvia smiled again, not wanting her to feel pressured.
Scarlett couldn't believe she'd been out of it for that long, her face burned in embarrassment. "Janie I'm so sorry, I really just lost it." She was mortified for having David and that stranger here witnessing her meltdown, but from the look on Janie's face she'd been terrified, and that mattered most.
Janie hadn't moved from her side, and held her hand firmly. "Don't you dare worry about anything honey, I'm sorry I ever introduced you to him." She felt like complete shit, all of this was her fault.
"Janie stop, this isn't your fault," pulling her friend into an embrace she held her tightly. "I just freaked out, I'm fine, honestly," her heart was broken, but no one died from that, she thought wistfully.
"Listen Scarlett, my name is Sylvia Lawrence," she pulled a card out of her wallet in her purse, "if you need to talk about this, I want you to call me, okay?" The woman apparently had been given more to deal with than she could handle tonight, she thought to herself. She seemed calm and reasonable at the moment.
"It's nice to meet you Sylvia," she was so damned embarrassed at the moment, "you won't report this or anything, right?" As pissed off as she was, she knew that nothing that happened tonight was really illegal. She'd accepted Rhett's screwed up ten night plan without thought about how far it could go, but it was still as much her fault as his, she reasoned.
"I have to admit Scarlett, I'm caught in a very tough position here. From what I understand from David, you agreed to ten nights with Rhett and knew that they would be sexual in nature?"
Scarlett nodded and waited on her to continue, not wanting to discuss those ten nights with this stranger.
"As a submissive myself, I am torn between knowing the mental damage that could have been inflicted with you having no clue what you were truly getting into, and the horrible way he handled these things."
"I really have to take part of the blame here Sylvia," knowing she was a submissive definitely made it easier to have a discussion she thought to herself. "I think it was a first for him as well." As angry as she was with him at that moment, she could also reason that she had agreed to play in his world without finding out more about what she was getting into.
"The truth is Scarlett, he knew what he doing. While it may not be illegal, it also wasn't well thought out. I've known Rhett for fifteen years and I've never seen him act so irresponsible before." She was dumbfounded at how he'd allowed things to get this out of control. Rhett was known in their community as a leader and the person a Dominant would turn to for advice.
"I just wasn't ready," Scarlett was fighting back tears again. The thought of telling him goodbye forever was gut wrenching. It was apparent that she wasn't anywhere near ready to walk in his world again if tonight was any indication.
"I don't want you internalizing this Scarlett, he is much more to blame than you ever could be. He knew what he was doing." Sylvia was truly worried that this woman would suffer long-lasting effects of the training he'd subjected her too. "I have a small group that meets twice a week to demonstrate the basics of our lifestyle, I'd like you to come sit in."
"To be honest, I'm not sure I ever want to think about this again, Sylvia." For the rest of her life when she thought about BDSM she'd think about Rhett, and that definitely wasn't going to help her get over him in her opinion.
"I'm going to ask you to at least think about these classes, Scarlett," she smiled warmly. "Even if you decide to walk away from this and never look back, I think it will help you heal." Seeing that she wasn't convinced, she continued. "Please Scarlett, if nothing else it would help me sleep better at night."
She wasn't sure why she nodded, but the thought of this woman driving out here to take care of her tonight meant a lot to her. "I'll at least come check out a class, okay?"
"Wonderful, and if you need me before then, seriously just call me anytime day or night." Pulling another card from her wallet she handed it to her and she stood up. "The next class is in two days, Six p.m.". "Just follow the directions on the back of the card, and like I said if you need to talk at all, I'm here." She gave quick goodbyes to David and Janie before leaving them.
"Scarlett, I'd like you and Janie to come stay at my place tonight, we'd just stopped in to pick up a change of clothes." David hoped that she'd accept his offer, she wouldn't put it past Rhett to stop in even with his threats earlier.
"I think that's a really good idea Scarlett, Rhett could stop by and I don't think you're ready to deal with him yet." They'd both kept quiet while Sylvia was here out of respect, but Janie really worried that Rhett wouldn't be able to stay away long. As pissed as she was at him at that moment, she knew in his own strange way he cared about her.
"I think maybe you're right and we should get out of here." The last thing she was ready to deal with now was Rhett, and it would be nice to get some sleep before dealing with anything else for a while.
"Don't even worry about packing," David heard his cell phone go off and knew it was Rhett. "I'll send one of my people out to grab you girls' some fresh clothes." He ushered them out before they really had a chance to protest.
chapter Twenty-one
Redo
Scarlett slept in for the day and was shocked to roll over and see the alarm clock read three in afternoon. David's home was incredible and leaving the softness of the four poster bed forced a soft groan from her lips. She glanced around the elegance of the bedroom she'd been given and shook her head. Several bags of clothing were placed inside the bedroom door and she walked over and went through them.
Something Janie had told her once, really hit home. Money really wasn't everything, she recalled the words. That had never really made sense to her until just now. She took the clothes over to the bed and dumped them out, shaking her head at the three outfits. Noticing the designer labels she knew it would take her a month to save up for clothes like these at her old job.
Walking into the bathroom, she could only marvel at the design. It was definitely like nothing she'd ever seen before with a flat screen television hanging on the wall over the double sinks. She tried to understand why anyone would need a laptop in the bathroom as her eyes moved around the large room noticing it balanced on a small glass desk in the corner. Perhaps there was a thing as too much money for one's own good she thought as she stepped into the shower, gasping as the shower heads came out from all sides surrounding her.
She bathed off quickly, but noted the dozens of different marked fragrances of soaps and shampoos in the odd dispenser that looked like a huge egg in the stall. Definitely overboard, she thought with a small grin. She wondered what Rhett was doing today, and stopped herself at the wave of pain that shot through her over the thought. Stepping out of the shower she found a towel and dried off briskly, trying to focus her mind on anything but him.
Job, she told herself, she needed to be looking for a new one this week. That thought made the ache in her heart a little less painful and she took in a breath, not even realizing she'd been holding it. Baby steps, she reminded herself. She could do this, she would just have to think about other things that were important in her life.
Walking back into the bedroom she grabbed a pair of silky underwear with a matching bra set, and put them on. David had done a great job with sizes she noted as she slid on a pair of walking shorts and a sports shirt. Ironically they were both in white, and she couldn't help but think of how that color really didn't suit who she was any longer. Another pang of hurt moved through her mind.
She forced her legs to walk back to the bathroom and rummaged through the drawers until she found a comb and hair dryer. Pulling the tangles from her hair, gave her something else to focus on for a few minutes. She dried the long locks until they fell down to her waist.
Pacing the floor for a few minutes after that task was done, she decided to brush her teeth. Each step she took made her feel like she was more robot than human. Do this step, so she wouldn't think about his face, think of this idea, so the scent of his aftershave wouldn't fill her mind for a second. "This is crazy," looking at herself in the mirror she spoke out loud.
Walking out of the bedroom she glanced around at the beautiful decor and tried to lose herself in how perfect David's home was. She found herself comparing it to Rhett's. Stomping her foot she demanded that she stop thinking about him and heard Janie's voice. Following that sound she walked into the kitchen.
David had an apron on that said World's Best Chef, with a little cartoon character on it and she giggled loudly. "Um nice shirt," biting her lip she tried to stop the laughter but it wasn't going to happen.
"Hey I'll have you know my mother sent this to me," he tried to look offended but couldn't stop his own laugh. Janie joined in and they all were laughing together. It felt so normal Scarlett thought as she held her sides, still trying to stop. This was the type of relationship she wanted, she thought to herself. David obviously didn't have a problem dropping the sex stuff outside of the bedroom, she thought as her laughter ceased when Rhett filled her mind again.
Janie gave David a knowing look before turning back to Scarlett. "Come grab a sweet honey, David is making his famous Mushroom Ravioli, you don't want to miss it," she was determined to make her friend smile today and not let her drown in thoughts over Rhett.
"It sounds wonderful, I'm just not sure I could eat a bite,” she honestly didn't have an appetite at all at the moment.
"Okay but if you don't eat, my heart will be completely shattered and Janie will have to baby me all night to make me feel better." David winked to let her know he was just joking around. He hadn't known Scarlett that long, but he knew how important she was to Janie and he truly hoped they could be good friends.
"Alright, can't have you making Janie do all that work later," shaking her head she laughed. David really did seem like a good guy and she was happy that Janie had found him.
"Thanks Scarlett, you have no idea how whiny he can be when he doesn't get his way," Janie grinned and ran around to the other side of the island bar.
"Be glad my mushrooms might overcook or I'd take this spatula to that sexy little ass missy," shaking his head he chuckled. "Seriously Scarlett, do you see what I put up with?"
"I think you guys really make the cutest couple," Scarlett hadn't meant to speak what she was thinking out loud and flushed.
"Don't tell him that Scarlett, his ego is already huge, I'm not sure if I can deal with him if it gets any bigger," Janie grinned and stuck out her tongue.
"Janie, baby you do know that I'm going to make you pay for every smart ass comment later tonight, right?" He lifted an eyebrow, trying to look stern but the apron just wasn't working to help him out much.
"Um Sir, you might want to take off the apron before you make threats like that," Scarlett giggled and joined in the teasing, feeling strangely comfortable with Janie's boyfriend.
"Two of you now," rolling his eyes he turned back to the stove, "there's no way I can ever win." With an exaggerated sigh he focused on his food before chuckling deeply.
"I'm going to show Scarlett the garden while you finish up Mr. Chef of the year," J
anie walked over and lifted up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.
"I'll be done in twenty minutes babe, you girls enjoy your walk." He winked and slid on his oven mitts, causing both of them to laugh again. Waving around the spatula threateningly, he warned them off with a smirk.
Janie wrapped her arm around Scarlett's and she led her toward the back door. They walked down a long flight of concrete stairs until they were a good distance from the door. "I figured you might need some girl time," she sat down on one of the cushioned couches overlooking a huge fire pit and Scarlett joined her.
"I'm going to be fine Janie, it's just going to take some getting used to," she didn't want to have this conversation yet. Her mind was doing everything it could to forget him at the moment.
"I know you Scarlett, you'll analyze this to death. I just don't want you to torture yourself about what you could have done differently, because this wasn't your fault, okay." She knew her best friend better than anyone else and it would be just like her to turn this all on her own bad judgment.
"I can't do this right now Janie, you have no idea how hard it is for me not to call him up and tell him how sorry I am." Just thinking about doing that had her heart aching again.
"That's exactly what I'm talking about, you don't have anything to be sorry for." She knew Scarlett was hurting, and knew she didn't want to talk but if she didn't she would find a way to excuse everything that he'd done and go back, there wasn't a doubt in her mind.
"You said it yourself Janie, neither of us really knew what we were getting into with this," she wanted to forgive him, it was killing her to sit here knowing that she'd never touch him again.
"Scarlett, do you think anything has changed? You still aren't ready for his games, he has no idea obviously how to train you. He needs an experienced submissive who can tell him to kiss her ass when he steps over her boundaries. And you deserve someone a hell of a lot more willing to take his time and lead you into this slowly."
5 Nights (Sinful Delights Romance - Boxed Set) Page 48