by Andria Large
I chuckle.
The waitress stops by and gives us our drinks and takes our order before hurrying off again. I feel like she knows we’re having a serious discussion and doesn’t want to stick around for too long.
“But we fell madly in love, and no one was going to stop us from getting married. When my father found out, he had a fit, cursing and yelling at me. But I stood my ground and told him that I loved her and that we were getting married. I would have done it with or without his support. He eventually came around and warmed up to her; he even loved her later down the line. The first few years were tough, but we made it. I think after you boys were born was when my father really started to love your mom.”
“What about your mom? And Mom’s parents, what did they think?”
“Oh, my mom just adored your mother. It caused a lot of fights between my parents. And Mom’s parents weren’t happy at first, but they eventually came around too. Only much faster than my father.” He smiles. “So I guess what I’m saying is that I’m here for you. I’ll support you with whomever you decide to be with. I won’t be like my father. And if that guy is Dennis, then that’s okay with me. Dennis is a good man, and he cares a lot about you.”
I nod, losing my battle with the tears again. “We’re in love,” I tell him and swipe at them again. “I was so afraid you would hate me for being with a guy. We’ve been together for almost a year, and with everything going on with Mom, I just couldn’t tell you.”
“Oh, Tucker, I could never hate you,” my dad says, reaching across the table to give my forearm a squeeze. “Although, I am confused by it. I never pegged you as being gay.”
I snort. “I wouldn’t say I’m gay. Bi would probably be more accurate. I was attracted to the women I was with. There’s just something about Dennis, though, that pulls me in. I am totally attracted to him. Of course, being in love with him is a plus.” I chuckle.
“You love who you love, doesn’t matter the gender, race, heritage, religion, whatever. None of it matters when your heart finds that person that’s meant for you.”
I smile through the still-flowing tears. “Thank you.”
He nods.
“What about Rhys? I know he doesn’t feel the same as you do.”
He rolls his eyes. “Rhys is being a jerk.”
“He won’t return my calls. I was planning on just going over there tomorrow to try and talk to him.”
“Well, I will be there, since I’m staying with him, so maybe we can gang up on him and get him to see reason.”
“Okay. Thanks, Dad.”
“You’re welcome, Tucker.”
DENNIS
I’M LYING in my bed, minding my own business when my bedroom door bursts open. I lift my head to look at who’s barging in and see my very pregnant sister.
Oh, hell no! Duke did not call Lizette. That dick!
“Let’s go, Dennis. Get the hell up,” she barks as she comes over and rips the covers off me.
“Leave me alone, Lizette,” I grumble and yank them back up.
“I will not! You will not act like this. Tucker will be back when he gets everything straightened out with his family,” she snaps, pulling at the covers again.
“If he comes back, it will be to pack up his shit so he can leave for good,” I choke out.
Just talking about him brings me physical pain. I know I’m wallowing in self-pity, but it hurts so badly that I can’t help it.
Lizette tries a different tactic and sits down on the bed next to me. “Denny, you stink. At least get up and take a shower,” she murmurs and brushes her fingers through my hair. “And you need to eat. I brought pizza. Please, please take a shower and come eat… for me.”
Dammit! She knows I can’t say no to her and her pregnant belly.
“Fine,” I mumble.
She leans down and kisses my temple. “Good. Thank you.”
So I drag my sorry ass out of bed and make my way to the bathroom on my crutches. I cannot wait to be rid of this goddamn cast. Hopefully I only have one more week before it’s gone. After my shower, I get dressed and head for the living room.
I spot Duke in the kitchen, grabbing bottles of water for the three of us. I give him a death glare. He gives me a nonapologetic shrug as he walks into the living room with the water. He sets them down on the coffee table, then goes back into the kitchen. I sit on the couch just as Lizette walks over and hands me a paper plate with a slice of pizza on it. She sits next to me, and Duke sits on the love seat with his pizza.
“I talked to Tucker this morning. He’s alive. He’s supposed to talk to his dad today, then try and talk to his brother before he comes back,” Duke says.
I ignore him, not wanting to think about Tucker right now. I take a bite of my pizza. Ugh, this tastes like shit. I doubt it’s actually the pizza but more me. Nothing I’ve been able to get down in the past couple of days has tasted all that good.
“Dennis, he is coming back. He didn’t break up with you,” Duke states firmly, his hazel eyes boring into mine.
“I begged him not to go, Duke, and he left anyway without so much as a promise of returning. That to me is clearly a breakup,” I rasp.
Fuck this pizza. I can’t stomach this right now. I toss the plate with the remaining three-quarters of the slice onto the coffee table and slump back against the couch. I feel so empty. I don’t know how I’m going to pull myself out of this. All I want to do is crawl into a hole and never come out.
“You’re impossible. Be miserable, then,” Duke huffs.
A ringing I haven’t heard in two long-ass fucking days sounds from the kitchen. Tucker’s ringtone is going off on my phone. He’s calling me! Two very different emotions fight for dominance: elation and anger. I’m ecstatic. But I’m so fucking pissed off and hurt that I’m not sure I even want to answer.
Duke goes and gets the phone. He hands it to me, a guarded expression on his face. He doesn’t want me to know what he’s thinking right now, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
“Answer it. Talk to him,” he urges.
I grit my teeth and give him a sharp nod. I swipe my finger across the screen to answer the call. I have to swallow past the lump in my throat as I bring it up to my ear.
“Hello?”
A silent moment, then Tucker says, “Hey, Denny.”
His hesitant voice has me squeezing my eyes shut and pressing a fist to my mouth to stop the sob that wants out. Fuck, it’s so good to hear his voice. Then the devastation over what he did to me slams into me again. I pull in a shaky breath and fight back the burning tears threatening to choke me.
“Fuck, Dennis. I am so sorry for leaving like I did. I fucked up. I never wanted to hurt you like that,” he says, his voice cracking.
“But you did,” I croak.
“I know and I’m going to make it up to you. I swear—”
“How? You think you’re gonna come back here and everything is going to go back to the way it was? ’Cause it’s not. You broke me,” I snap.
I have no idea where that came from, but my anger must have won out.
“I… no, I didn’t expect things to go back to the way they were right away, but I love you, and I hope we can get back to where we were eventually,” Tucker says.
“So does this mean you’re choosing me over your family?” I scoff bitterly.
“It was always you, Dennis. I just needed some time alone to clarify that with myself.”
“Did you talk to your dad?” I ask, ignoring his previous statement, because I’m not really sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, I’m glad he still wants to be with me, but on the other, I’m fucking pissed he even had to think about it in the first place, that it was even a choice.
“Yes.”
“And?” I ask impatiently.
“He’s fine with it,” Tucker says softly.
“Oh good, great to know we have his approval,” I say, my lip curled up in disgust. “So did you decide it was always me
before or after you spoke to your dad?”
“Dennis.” Tucker sighs heavily.
“Oh, I’m sorry, were you expecting me to fall at your feet? Jump for joy because you chose me, like I’m a fucking puppy in a shelter getting to go to a good home? Dammit, Tucker! You have no idea what I’ve been through these past couple of days. What you did, I don’t know if I can forgive you for it.”
I hang up before he can say anything. I don’t want to talk to him anymore right now. I’m getting too revved up, and that will only lead me to say things I don’t truly mean.
I glance at Duke to find him watching me carefully. He gives me a nod, letting me know he’s got my back. I know he’s beyond pissed at Tucker too. I overheard their conversation this morning. I heard all the names he called Tucker. It actually made me smile for the first time in two days.
“Dennis, can you please try to eat the rest of your pizza?” Lizette asks softly.
“No. I’m fucking done,” I grunt, not in the mood for company anymore.
I grab my crutches and shove to my feet. As I start for my bedroom, Lizette calls after me, but Duke tells her to let me go. Good, because I need to be alone right now. I’m on the verge of a breakdown I’d rather not have in front of my sister.
I close myself in my room and let the crutches fall to the floor as I climb up onto the bed. I clutch a pillow to my chest and bury my face in it as the sob that I’ve been holding back breaks free. I feel like I’m being torn in two. There are so many emotions going on inside me that I don’t know what to do with. Tucker has seriously destroyed me with what he did, and I’m not sure if I can get past it, or how we’re ever going to be the same again.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
TUCKER
I RING the doorbell to my brother’s house. I’m still reeling from my conversation with Dennis yesterday. I really screwed up. I hurt him so badly. He said he wasn’t sure if he could ever forgive me. Fuck, that hurt to hear. Not that I blame him, since I’m the one who put him in this position.
The door opens, revealing Selene. She gives me a soft smile and opens her arms. I return her smile and step in to give her a hug.
“Hey,” I murmur.
“Hi, Tuck. Just a heads-up, Rhys is not going to be happy you’re here. He and your dad have been fighting all morning about you.”
“I’m sorry,” I say as we separate.
She shakes her head. “You don’t have to apologize to me. I’m happy you found someone. Doesn’t matter to me that it’s a guy.”
“Thank you.”
She shuts the door behind me and follows me into the living room. My little buddy, Max, is sitting on the floor playing with some toys. When he sees me, his face lights up with a big smile, and he clambers to his feet. He toddles over to me, his arms out. I lift him up and give him a big hug.
“Hey, buddy,” I murmur, then give him a kiss on the cheek.
“Get away from my son, you pervert,” Rhys growls.
I glance up to see him in the doorway to the kitchen, his gaze furious. My dad is standing behind him looking defeated. Shit, this isn’t going to go well. If my dad can’t get him to see reason, then I sure as hell can’t.
“Rhys!” Selene cries, appalled.
I hand Max to her just in case Rhys decides to get physical again.
“Rhys, come on, you’re being ridiculous.” I sigh.
“I’m being ridiculous?” he snaps. “What’s ridiculous is that my once-strong Marine brother has turned into a faggity, take-it-up-the-ass pussy, all because of whatever Dennis did to brainwash you.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? You do know Dennis used to be married to a woman, right? No one brainwashed anyone. This was something that as adults, we both decided we wanted. We love each other, Rhys,” I tell him, hoping he’ll see reason, but I can tell everything I say is going in one ear and out the other.
“I find that hard to believe,” he says with a sneer.
“That’s because you’re not listening or even trying to understand,” I bark.
“Oh, I understand all right. I understand that my once-straight brother is now getting fucked in the ass by another dude!”
My fury rises when Max starts crying because Rhys has raised his voice. I don’t know what I was thinking, trying to talk sense into a closed-minded bigot.
“Yeah, you know what? I fucking like it too; it feels fan-fucking-tastic. He also sucks my dick better than any woman ever could,” I snap.
My dad groans. “TMI, Tucker,” he grumbles from behind Rhys.
I ignore him, my eyes only for Rhys. I catch the flicker in his eyes right before he launches himself at me. He catches me around the waist and we both go crashing to the floor. Selene screams and runs with Max to the steps to get out of the way. Good, I don’t have to worry about them now.
I grapple on the floor with Rhys for a minute. He’s got no chance against my training, and I easily wrap him up so he can’t move. He struggles against me, but it’s useless. I’ve got him on top of me, his back to my front. I’m holding him in a full nelson with my legs wrapped around his.
“I’m still your brother, Rhys, no matter who I’m sleeping with. Why can’t you see that?”
He’s panting hard on top of me, but my heart rate barely raised with the little scrap.
“You’re not my brother anymore.”
“What is your problem with being gay?” I ask, trying to understand why he’s so angry.
“I think it’s fucking disgusting!” Rhys barks and tries again in vain to get away from me. “Were you always gay?” he spits venomously.
I sigh heavily and let him go, rolling him off me. “I’ve never been overly attracted to a man before Dennis. But our friendship and need for each other is what brought us together. This isn’t just about sex, Rhys. We are deeply in love like how you are in love with Selene. It’s the same thing.”
Rhys sits next to me, watching me, his expression wary and unsure. He shakes his head as he climbs to his feet. “I’m done talking about this,” he mutters as he starts up the stairs.
I scrub my face hard and make an aggravated noise. He’s so thickheaded. My dad stops in front of me and offers me a hand. I take it, letting him help me up. He pulls me right into a hug.
“You did what you could. Now all we can do is hope he comes around,” he says quietly.
I nod and let him go. “I’m gonna go. I have to go home and try to fix things with Dennis. Hopefully I didn’t screw it up too horribly.”
“Okay, call me if you need me,” my dad says, giving me a clap on the shoulder.
“Thanks, Dad.”
I say good-bye to Selene and Max, then head out to the car I rented. Time to go home and face the music.
DENNIS
DUKE IS slamming around shit in the kitchen, loud enough I can hear it from my bedroom. I make an aggravated noise, push up into a sitting position, and start rubbing the sleep from my eyes. That’s when I hear another voice. A voice that’s not Duke’s. A male voice.
My heart leaps into my throat. Could it be Tucker? I can only assume with the way Duke is behaving that it is. Oh God. What do I do when I see him? What do I say? I can’t stand this emotional roller coaster. All of the ups and downs, the uncertainty, it’s killing me. I grab my crutches and make my way to the door. I crack it open just enough so I can hear what they’re saying.
“…fuck your fucking brother. He’s an asshat,” Duke snaps, slamming a cabinet.
Tucker sighs heavily. “Yeah, I know.”
“I can’t believe he tried to fight you,” Duke scoffs. “Did he really think he had a chance?”
“I don’t know. He was so fucking angry he didn’t care.”
I guess his little meeting with his brother didn’t go well. I wasn’t expecting it to. My stomach is in knots as I open the door more and slip into the hall. I don’t know what to expect. What is he going to say when he sees me? What am I going to see in his eyes? Am I still going to see the love he
once had for me or something else?
Duke sees me first. His eyes widen slightly, and he freezes in the middle of bringing a coffee mug to his lips. Tucker turns when I’m halfway into the living room. It looks like he stops breathing as his bright blue eyes lock on to mine. The sight of him overwhelms me. Instinct takes over, and before I know it, the crutches get tossed aside and I’m slamming into him, crushing my lips to his. Fuck, I missed him. The kiss is fierce and needy, and the feel of Tucker’s arms around me has me moaning.
No! Wait! I’m fucking furious at him!
I shove him back and let my fist connect with his eye. Tucker ends up sprawled out on the floor, on his back, his hand over his eye, groaning.
I look over at Duke, who is glancing between the two of us. He cocks an eyebrow at me. “Uh, what the fuck was that?” he asks dryly.
“I don’t fucking know,” I huff, shaking out my hand.
I turn away from them and grab my crutches. I’m really not supposed to be walking on the cast, especially if I want it to come off in a few days. When I turn back, Tucker is sitting up, and Duke is handing him a bag of peas from the freezer. Tucker takes it and tenderly sets it over his already-swelling eye. He stares at me with his good eye.
“You hit me.” He blinks rapidly as if he’s confused and shocked.
“You fucking deserved it,” I snap.
He sighs, closing his eye, and nods dejectedly.
“And don’t think because I kissed you that it changes anything. That was just a gut reaction to seeing you after thinking you were never coming back. We are not okay,” I tell him, putting a hard edge to my tone. He needs to know I’m serious; we are not okay right now.
He purses his lips and nods again.
I scrub a rough hand over my face before turning and heading back toward the bedroom. It’s hard to get away when you’re living in a condo where the living room and kitchen is one big room. The only place to hide is the bedroom. I don’t go to Tucker’s room—which was considered “our” room. Instead I head to my old bedroom and shut the door. I sit down on the end of the bed and run a shaky hand through my hair. Shit. I can’t believe I hit Tucker in the face. It wasn’t something I planned on doing. It just happened. And now he’s got a black eye for when he goes back to work. I blow out a heavy breath and drop my face into my hands.