Her Lover (Belle de Seigneur)

by Albert Cohen

  'May God guard you in the coming week,' he muttered.

  'Very good, and because you said it nicely you find favour in my eyes, which are large and delightful, as you cannot deny! And when a person has a pair of delightful eyes and knows how to make up her face, that person always finds that the shoe fits and what does it matter if he or she is slightly humpbacked and has no neck? Having a humpback makes you see things more clearly! The shoe fits, what a splendid turn of phrase! I was brought up like a lady, you know! I had a French governess when I was a very little girl thanks to all my father's money! Elegantly raised in a rich world of silk and brocade! No expense spared to turn me into an accomplished young lady who would grow up to be a model wife completely at home in the language of Racine! And omniscient too! For example, did you know that cats use their sharp spiky whiskers to scratch with? You didn't! It's no good lying! You said a few things in French when you were unconscious from having been knocked on the head and so I'm talking in your language! That way I can show how clever I am! Piano, violin, of course, and I also play the guitar while fluttering my eyelashes and took elocution lessons and can dangle baited glances! I know ever so many words!' she sang as she whirled around, making her dress balloon out and revealing her crooked but muscular little legs. 'I have only one little fault, which is rather attractive actually, and that is I sometimes rush around screaming with fear and if there's a nice person handy I swarm all over and kiss whoever it is, but in a half-perverse half-winning sort of way! Oh, I'm also fond of gristle, so soft and yet so chewy! Gristle is perverse too! Otherwise, elegance is the word for me! Oh if you could see me of a morning dressed in a pink wrap edged with monkey fur and slippers the same colour trimmed with swansdown! If only you saw me in a feather boa, or in my summer outfit with boater pulled right down over my eyes, stiff detachable collar, and assorted little charms and trinkets! The earring is still in the ear that was cut off! And the best would be if you could hear me sing of passionate love and sweet promises!'

  She adjusted the sky-blue bow in her hair, ran a wet finger over her eyebrows, stood on a stool, put one hand on her hip, and, craning her large head forward, sang with the passion and smiling lips of a soprano: 'Why do you doubt your happiness — For I love you? — Why do you speak with bitterness — For I love you?'

  'There, that was just to give you an idea,' she smiled, stepping down off the stool. 'What do you think? (In the silence, she noisily crunched a sugared almond which she had produced from her reticule.) You won't say? Much good may it do you! I pick my large, fine teeth with a sharpened matchstick, and the perfume I use is called Reve de Paris! I don't care what you say, perfume is the charm of woman! My heart won thine on that mad day,' she sang, lowering her eyes majestically. 'By the way, when my uncle-in-majesty, ignoring the dangers, went out the other day on religious business, for you have no idea how great our God is, it's quite simple really, His like does not exist, well I peeped out through the gap and I saw the beasts pulling his beard out! They were laughing, and in their laughter were stupidity and power, but my uncle-in-religion stood his ground like a king and stared right back at them, and in his eyes were grandeur and silence! Oh I was proud of him! They also like pulling out our fingernails. They are Germans! Listen, from now on you're going to be my plaything! I adore talking in languages I know, and I get bored being locked up in the dark when my uncles go off through the underground passage to the other cellars to see about food and diamonds, diamonds are vital, and to study the Law! Vital, absolutely vital! They can be hidden! You can take them with you wherever you go! I've two uncles, one uncle-in-religion and one uncle-in-business! I love talking, and my tongue is garnished with intelligence! It speaks all the French words a person could want!' she said as she whirled round with a great flourish of her yellow dress. 'Which means that I am quite perverse and can see at a glance what the other person is thinking, I'm terribly well educated and speak various languages, each with the best accent, so that I can cross frontiers without any trouble at all! But what kind of fool are you, going out into the street dressed like a Jew in a long robe and wearing phylacteries! It was a good thing the beasts got you and cut those notches in that manly chest of yours! Let it be a lesson to you! (Here she fanned herself furiously.) Didn't you know that the sons of God's chosen people must stay hidden behind closed doors because of the beasts outside? In Berlin as it is today, everything is topsy-turvy! People in cages and the beasts free to roam! I can speak all the French words anyone could possibly want! I know all the rules of grammar, and my participles all agree! And hadn't you heard that when they go marching past they sing songs about how happy they are when Jewish blood spurts beneath their knives? Wenn Judenblut unter'm Messer spritzt! Spurt! Spurt! You see, I really do know a lot of French words! There's something missing between my head and my shoulders, I realize that, but they, with their blue eyes and their oompah bands, love blood and will kill us all, you'll see! My uncle-in-majesty told me! They dress like men, but they love killing, it's what they like best, and they're happy when there's blood, but we are human beings aren't we? Praise Moses our master! Come on, praise him! Or else I'll bite! It's all right, don't make me laugh, you'll be the death of me! I only said it to scare you! Oh yes, they'll kill the very last one of us! But in the meantime we aren't dead yet, we are warm and snug, and I adore being alive and chatting! This house belonged to my father, and in this genuine Renaissance chest there is an ear which the beasts cut off for fun while they shouted Heil and the name of that German who barks like a dog! It's the authentic ear of my dear mother! I keep it ceremoniously in brandy, next to my trousseau, which is complete, three hundred and sixty items, finest linen every one! Sometimes I pick up the jar and kiss it so that people can admire me! (She made loud kissing noises.) Sometimes I shake the jar so that the ear comes alive! I'll show it to you later, when I trust you! Oh yes, there is a high price to pay to be the chosen of God! Diamonds are vital, absolutely vital, for with them we can buy the secret collaboration of some of the beasts, and then we can go on living a little longer! Come on, you say something! When all is said and done, they didn't kill you! (She rummaged through a yellow pouch hanging at her waist and thrust a small looking-glass at him.) Take a look! You see, it's only blood! And not much of it either! But I digress! (She drew closer and said confidentially:) Once, it was midnight, I went to the lavatory and my neck slipped down inside my body! You should never go to the lavatory at midnight, because that's the time when nasty people push your neck down inside you! It doesn't matter, though, having brains makes up for anything! I'm terribly happy! I've got someone to be with and I can talk as much as I like! It's not the sabbath today, you know, but there you are, in our situation, which is hardly a novelty for our people, you have to tell lies! (Again she came close to him.) I was born small! My mother did it on purpose to get her own back!'

  She picked up a guitar lying on a ceremonial throne and plucked the strings petulantly with a mixture of radiant smiles and roguish glances. Then she put it back and fanned herself more furiously than ever.

  'The fact is I don't know anything about you, and it's really terribly sweet of me to talk to you so openly, though I hide what must be hidden. I don't know where you come from nor from what mother's belly you emerged. So quickly now, your name! If you don't tell me, God only knows what I'll do! Come on, out with it, what is your name under Israel?' she screamed, stamping her little foot encased in satin. 'Introduce yourself correctly according to the rules! Quickly, your name! Midgets can be very dangerous! They bite, so take care!'

  'Solal,' he said, and he raised his hand to his forehead covered in blood.

  That's all right, I know the name! A family of some renown! But I should tell you that one of my Russian forebears in the time of the tsars was Director of the Russo-Asian Bank with the titular grade of state councillor which was the equivalent of the rank of general! So don't come the high and mighty with me! And now your first name, out with it! The nice name the girl who marries you will
use!'

  'Solal.'

  There's no accounting for taste and I don't care either way!' the midget shrieked, tossing her flat hair, which fell back in a crudely cut fringe over her eyes. That's her business! Anyway, you'll get over it and you'll stay with us! They didn't hurt you very much really! Oh I know they marked your chest with their spidery swastikas, but scratches are hardly worth bothering about! You can't put scratches in a jar! (She held her nose between two fingers and said in a nasal voice:) Look here, cover that manly chest of yours! I don't want to see it! (She put both hands over her eyes, but peeped through her fingers as he gathered the folds of his robe over his torso on which German crosses, now black with dried blood, had been notched.) They cut your flesh and beat your head and nose and eyes, but that's nothing compared to what it'll be like soon! My uncle-in-religion said so! (To help her think, she twisted and untwisted locks of her hair.) And do you know what? The peoples of other countries won't lift a finger to help us! They'll be only too happy to let the Germans do the job for them! But we aren't dead yet, we're warm and snug! Oh it's lovely! (She cracked a walnut with her teeth.) And I am Rachel and my father was Jacob Silberstein, the wealthiest antiques dealer in Berlin! Before all this we used to live upstairs in a magnificent, sublime, spacious shop!' she screamed, stressing the sibilants. 'But we aren't stupid, not stupid at all (she bellowed the word), and when my revered father, who gave me my life of woe, felt the black wind blow he pretended to go away! That's right, pretended to leave Berlin, you idiot! You need to have a couple of ears cut off, otherwise you'll never be smart! Pretend, we've got to pretend, we're always going to have to pretend! But with the connivance — I told you I knew a lot of words — with the connivance of the man who owns the building, he belongs to the same nation as the beasts but he's very keen on dollars, everything was brought down here, and here we came and hid! That's why we need dollars, lots of dollars! It's their fault, not ours! So that's how it is, we keep out of the way here, and in winter the stove stands tall and cosy and we are safe when evil walks abroad at night! The evil of night!' she ululated as she gestured with her hands. 'Talking of beds, I must go and make mine. The couch on which I lie!'

  She winked, snapped her fan of ostrich feathers shut, and, her tiny muscular rump swaying as she went, strode off self-importantly towards a child's bed made of carved gilt wood. As she shook the sheets and blankets, she explained in a singing voice full of expression that Jacob Silberstein was a wealthy antiques dealer. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched to see the effect she was producing.

  'Look at my things! They're all mine, because I am sole heir! Genuine period furniture, paintings by great masters complete with official provenances! And if you won't have any of them for free then buy them with money! I know how much they all cost and what they're worth! Being fair of face, I could sing their praises to you if you like, one lovely face to another! But if you had any sense you could have them for nothing after a sensible talk with my uncles. (As he remained silent, she tapped the ground with her foot.) They found you in the street and they brought you in! You should be grateful to them! What more do you want me to say? They picked you up and brought you in! Or maybe it was me who brought you in, because I had an eminently respectable purpose in mind. Think about me instead of thinking about yourself! Blood looks very nice on you, it's like velvet on your handsome face! Besides, I can speak several languages perfectly, without any trace of a foreign accent, which means that we can handle the police in any country you care to name! I also manage a house expertly! I can salt and wash and brush oil on meat before cooking it! That way there's no blood! And I sweeten my tea with cherry jam! I'll let you have a taste, and you must try my stuffed carp too! Furthermore, a good wife ought to know how to remove the dried blood from her husband's face and she must be ready to go away with him to escape from the police and have money hidden next to the skin, like a shield against the wicked! Having said that, the period of the engagement is the best time of life, and people who get engaged are happy indeed! Give me a moment to freshen up my face and then you'll see!'

  And again she applied lipstick to her mouth and powdered her square face, smiling at him all the while, baring her teeth, making the muscles in her jaw stand out.

  'Well, what do you say?' she asked, and she gave him a playful tap with her fan. 'Only the eyes count really! And don't laugh at my hump! It's like a royal crown on my back! And don't start getting ideas about proposing to my sister who is beautiful! Oh very well, so I'm not sole heir! That's how I am, sometimes I cheat when it suits me! But if she's tall and beautiful and has a generous heart she also walks in her sleep, which is only fair! But now, Jew, wait for me here, but talk loud to keep me company and stop me from feeling afraid!'

  She ran towards the far end of the cellar, stopped at the ladder, picked up the lantern, and came back with it, uttering a long cry as she did so. Breathing hard and with one hand on her heart, she told him with a child's smile that she'd only just made it. Then she took him by the hand and together they walked past the paintings which hung from the weeping walls. She held the lantern high, mentioning the names of the artists, and as they came to each picture she ordered him with a dig of her heel to admire what he saw. But when he stretched out his hand to lift the veil which covered the last painting, she shook violently and took him by the arm. 'It's not allowed,' she screamed, 'you're not allowed to look at She with the Child! You could go to the stake for it!' Drawing him close to her, she led him past the antique bric-a-brac, suits of armour, mounds of fabrics, ancient dresses, mappa-mundis, glassware, rugs and statues, making faces as she prattled on about them and said how much they were worth. All at once she paused in front of a tall metal statue and scratched herself furiously.

  'That's the German Virgin, the Virgin of Nuremburg!' she announced grandiloquently. 'It's hollow! They used to put us inside and the long spikes in the door closed on the body of the Jew! But most of the time they used to burn us alive! In every German city, Wissembourg, Magdeburg, Arnstadt, Koblenz, Sinzig, Erfurt, they were proud to call themselves Jew-roasters! Judenbreter was their word for it in those days! Oh I'm frightened of them! They burned us alive in the thirteenth century! They will burn us alive in the twentieth! There is no salvation for us, have no illusions on that score! They love their nasty leader who barks like a dog and has a moustache! They all agree with him! Bishop Berning agrees with him! He said all the German bishops agree. My uncle told me, my uncle-in-highest-majesty! Now step this way!'

  His mind reeling but led on by the dwarf-woman, who periodically turned and leered at him, he walked past chests, armchairs, cabinets and grounded chandeliers, meekly following her while the clocks ticked against each other and the wax figures smiled as they watched them pass in the dark. Once again she halted suddenly, stroked a stuffed owl with orange eyes and large eyebrows which was also watching them, and then raised her lantern over a sarcophagus containing a mummy.

  'Pharaoh was no different!' she said. 'He slew us, even unto the last of us! They destroy us, and then they all die too!'

  Saying nothing and with his head still throbbing, he smiled proudly, became like her, and was aware of it. Suddenly the touch of her damp little hand revolted him, but he did not dare push her away, fearing she might turn on him unexpectedly. She halted in front of a wrought-iron screen, raised her lantern, smacked her lips, and gestured dramatically to an old court coach, the gilt was cracked and flaking and here and there it was black with smoke, but it sparkled with many-faceted mirrors and was decorated with cherubs holding flaming torches.

  'It's a souvenir, a reminder of my grandfather, the miraculous rabbi! The famous Rabbi of Lodz! He was driven at night through the Jewish quarter in this very coach! It has no roof, because he stood up in it to bless the people! A royal coach! I'm so proud I could bite you! It will be used for my wedding! I can say wedding in seven languages! If anybody tells you my blood pressure is high, don't believe a word of it! I get ideas, that's all!' she clamoured, a
nd she waved her little hands in gestures of spiteful glee. 'But I want to show you something — there's no need to be frightened, because they are safely tethered!'