Guilt Ridden
Page 14
A young woman stepped forward. Kami guessed both Abbi and Josie were a few years younger than her. Josie’s gaze was as assessing as the rest of them, but was filled with more curiosity than anything.
The round of introductions was quick. If pressed, she could’ve deciphered what set of parents went with what Walker kid, but they all reintroduced themselves.
The handshake from Travis’s mom was as cool as her gaze. His dad’s wasn’t much better. Her stomach went from nervous flutter to outright heartburn. Meeting Justin, his brother, wasn’t any different than greeting Brock or Aaron. Like his twin sister, he seemed distracted.
Aaron’s younger brothers looked like scrawnier versions of him. All three of them were in sharp black jeans and white dress shirts. Same with the other guys. Only Travis’s dad wore khaki slacks that looked like they belonged on a golf course.
A slender man she didn’t recognize appeared. He shuffled carefully across the floor. The closer he came, the easier it was to see that he was probably in the age range of the other parents. He must be Elle’s dad.
“They’re getting started. Have a seat, everyone. Thanks for coming.” He continued his path to the back of the church where Elle waited for him in a simple, but elegant white dress.
Within seconds, they were all seated. As if an unspoken suggestion had been made, they covered both sides of the aisle so it didn’t look like Elle’s side was empty. Kami’s impression of the Walkers went up another notch. If she ever married into this family, Mom and Kambria would be her lone family members. She almost snorted. That was one more than she had when she married Ben. Only his family hadn’t surrounded her in support. Mom had been alone with a few town stragglers that filed in after her and sat on the bride’s side because there was no room left on the Preston side.
A fresh wave of bitterness crashed into her. Someday, she’d have to let that go.
But not while her in-laws manipulated her daughter’s summer.
Travis squeezed her hand as if he sensed her negative feelings. She smiled at him and forced herself to pay attention to the vows being murmured back and forth.
Nope. She couldn’t do it. Memories assaulted her of her bittersweet big day. If it hadn’t been for Ben’s calming effect and solidarity, she would’ve abandoned him at the altar and waddled her pregnant ass out of town as fast as she could. And ultimately, that’s why she stayed. To have that kind of support and encouragement and unabashed devotion from a man was more than she’d ever hoped for.
Because she hadn’t been naive. Dad hadn’t been an easy man to stand by. Her parents’ almost adversarial relationship wasn’t a fitting example of wedded bliss.
What would it be like to marry Travis? Of course, she was waaaay ahead of herself, but just for fun, what-if? Would he be as committed to them as Ben had been? Because that’d been as intoxicating as that first taste of lust. Some of the splendor had worn off the longer Ben hadn’t stood up for her to his parents or his siblings. He’d stood with her, and as the years passed, she realized they were different. He’d been a peace-keeper and that’d been enough—at first, until she’d started wishing he’d say more to his family.
Rowdy applause yanked her out of her thoughts. Dillon and Elle were sharing a kiss. The ceremony was over. She’d be relieved, but this was the easy part.
Chapter Twelve
People piled into the dance hall. Kami sat at a table next to Travis. Justin was on his other side, and his parents and Brigit were across from them. Kami slowly inhaled a deep breath and just as slowly released it. Her appetite had vanished as soon as Joan and Rick Walker arrived.
She pushed her potato salad around, gave up, and placed her fork next to her plate.
The decorations in the place had a simple yet sophisticated quality, transforming the area from a plain, square room with an outdated feel to a cozy reception. As more and more well-wishers arrived, and the louder it became, it lost the intimate air that the wedding had. Each Walker family had their own table and she doubted Elle or Dillon would be seen the rest of the night. Every time one group of people broke away from them, another formed.
Kami scanned the rest of the place. She’d spent so many weekends in here, with various guys she had dated. As she watched the crowd, her mouth quirked. Nothing changed. After a certain time of night, it was still generally accepted that the invitation was open to all.
“I’m sorry, did you say something?” Joan asked.
Was she talking to her? Kami glanced over. Oh shit. Yes, Joan was looking at her. “No?”
Travis pushed his plate aside and reclined, laying his arm across the back of her chair. “You were smiling. I think she thought she missed something.”
Did she? Or was Joan putting her on the spot? “I was marveling over how some things never change.” She nodded toward the dance floor. “Like how many kids are going to show up just to party.”
“Is that what you did?” Joan’s tone had an edge disguised in innocence.
Brigit rolled her eyes. “Please, Mom. That’s what we all did.”
Joan shot her a patronizing look. “Did you, dear? I had hoped you and your friends were studying like you said you were.”
“We did. Then we hit the dance.”
“I hope you didn’t do that in college.”
Brigit blew out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, I did. And that’s exactly why I didn’t get into med school.” Her voice dripped sarcasm. She grabbed her champagne glass and left the table.
Kami leaned into Travis’s side as if she could disappear, make them forget she was there.
“I guess that answers that question,” Travis said. “She didn’t get in.”
Rick shook his head. “She was on the waiting list, but they didn’t make it to her number.”
“I told her to apply again.” Worry lines fanned out from Joan’s eyes. “She isn’t saying if she will or won’t.”
Why’d it matter? Brigit had the fortitude to apply to med school, it was unlikely she’d settle for an everyday job. And if she did, so what?
Joan switched her focus. Kami shifted so she sat straighter. A little voice in her head said, Here we go.
“And what was it you did again, Kami?”
“I wait tables at Old Main and when I don’t have Kambria I pick up bartending shifts at Tyler’s Club.” She held Joan’s gaze, didn’t miss the glint of disapproval. Joan and Martha could be friends.
“What’d you go to school for?”
“I didn’t.” Keeping her tone light, she smiled as the earlier moment of nostalgia faded. “Unlike Travis, school wasn’t for me.”
Travis squeezed her shoulder. “Not everyone wants to endure years of dry lectures.”
Her half-hearted chuckle covered her shame. She’d love to, but she couldn’t pass the tests.
Joan glanced between the two of them, her mouth flat. “And your daughter, you said you don’t always have her?”
Travis adjusted in his seat. Was he going to cut his mom’s questions off? Because no one else was. They were content to let Joan Walker grill her.
“Kambria’s grandparents live in Normandy and they try to spend a lot of time with her. They finagled a six-week gymnastics camp together this summer.”
Joan’s eyebrows lifted. “How nice. Six weeks to yourself.”
A flash of anger coursed through her at the snide lilt to her statement. “No, it sucks. I don’t like being away from Kambria.”
Justin excused himself. She envied his ability to leave. She could, too, but that’d make no progress with Mama Bear.
A moment of irritation at Travis floated up, but she quashed it down. She’d be offended if he felt he had to defend her against Mama Joan. In a way, his silence showed that he didn’t think she had anything to defend herself for.
She hoped, because right now, a vision of her in front of a well-dressed firing squad emerged. “I wouldn’t want to go through this life without her. I miss her, but she loves gymnastics as much as I did.”
Travis tucked her in close. A show of support? “I don’t think I’ve talked to her without seeing her do a cartwheel or five. She’s a great kid.”
Joan’s pinched gaze danced between them. Kami’s lungs froze waiting for a comment, but Rick spoke first. “Did the academy in town close?”
Kami nodded. “Five years ago. The owner moved away and no one else was willing to run it.” She shrugged. “The hours are mostly evening because of the sessions and the owner should have comprehensive knowledge of how to run a recreational and competitive program.”
“I’m sure a solid business acumen is also necessary. I can’t imagine it’s easy to find both.”
Was that a dig at gymnastics? A general speculation? The former owner had been a huge mentor to her and all the other coaches. She’d also had an MBA. If it wasn’t for Kami’s old boss’s encouragement, she wouldn’t have gotten involved in the Normandy program and gotten a piece of herself back after childbirth.
If it wasn’t for her mentor’s help, she wouldn’t have gathered all the data she had and been prepared to open her own gym.
She could tell Joan all of that, but she didn’t. She could pull up her files from the app on her phone and prove to Martha that she’d put together a stable, sensible plan with only a diploma.
What would be the point? It’s why she’d kept it secret until she’d had to abandon it.
Abandonment of her hopes and dreams had seemed inevitable. Those plans would stay saved because she’d never know if she would’ve failed at it. The unknown would be a source of comfort as she trudged out in snow to check on stinky sheep.
Rick interrupted her thoughts and said exactly what she’d thought when she’d heard the gym was closing its doors. “It was a loss for the community when it closed.” He turned to Joan. “It looks like the dance is starting soon. Think we still got it in us?”
Joan smiled. “You know we do.”
They both left the table. Watching Joan interact with Rick made her seem human. But the frosty conversation prior wasn’t enough to warm her up to Travis’s mom.
“Well, that was fun,” she said flatly.
Travis looked partially contrite. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to insult you by answering for you.”
So it hadn’t been because he was ashamed. A question popped into her mind but she debated a moment before asking. “Was she like that with Michelle?”
Travis stilled, his gaze planted on the table. “At first.”
He answered so carefully, there had to be a reason. Between Joan’s pointed questions and the drama with Brigit, she figured out why. “Michelle was the educated girl she wanted for you.”
He swiveled to face her. “Trust me when I tell you that how much schooling or how big of a degree you have doesn’t matter.” He clenched his jaw as he seemed to work through what he was going to say. “Sometimes, I felt like that was all Michelle and I had in common.”
She didn’t know much about his relationship with his fiancée, but this was the first she’d heard there was anything less than optimistic bliss.
The music kicked off a fun country beat. She met Travis’s gaze and they both smiled.
“Dillon said the only plan for tonight was to dance and have fun.” He tipped his head toward the dance floor where Dillon spun his mom around. “It’d make them both uncomfortable to have the spotlight on them for special dances.”
Kami interpreted that as it’d make Elle uncomfortable. From what she remembered of Dillon, he was just fine front and center, commanding attention. Elle’s dad had looked frail, yet excited, and a special father/daughter spin might’ve have been too much for him.
Kami’s foot started tapping to the beat. Travis noticed immediately.
“I missed my chance with you at the street dance. How ’bout now?”
His mom was forgotten. His entire family left her mind. After a few seconds in his arms, the rest of the dance hall faded away.
The man could move, and after the last few weeks together, they were as in sync fully clothed as they were without a stitch. Kami laughed in delight as he spun and twirled her. They danced around couples, through them, all across the floor, didn’t matter the type of song. She wished she packed her cowboy boots for the night.
As the night went on, she and Travis traded partners until she’d danced with every Walker of the Walker Five and their younger siblings. The parents had all migrated to the tables and their rowdy guffaws often rose over the volume of the DJ.
The final song of the night was announced and she was back in Travis’s arms.
He dipped his head down to her hair as they circled in harmony with the few remaining dancers. She was well aware of the looks they’d drawn from the crowd throughout the night. If it wasn’t clear they were dating after this, it’d have to be spelled out.
Who and how many people would care was the question. When it came to her with someone other than Austin, it was always downturned mouths and snotty comments. After Dad died, Mom had gotten the same reaction when she’d started dating. Only she hadn’t had the benefit of an old boyfriend to return to. Would Joan have thought twice about her if she’d arrived with Austin? Or would they be deemed “right for each other”?
“Can I stay at your place tonight?” His words in her ear made her shiver and forget the path her thoughts were taking.
She nodded, cuddling in closer. As the music died down, someone tapped her shoulder.
Cash cradled a flushed and grinning Abbi in his arms. “Monday’s hay day, remember.”
Smiling, she said, “I remember.”
Cash leaned close to Travis, Abbi giggling and squished between them. “Do everything I’d do.”
Travis threw her a heated looked.
Cash swaggered away, but Abbi’s loud whisper was perfectly clear. “I think they already have.”
“I guess I have to go prove them right.” Travis towed her with him through the stragglers, some faces she knew, some she didn’t. His hand was closed around hers, his actions proprietary, and she was in touch with her feminine side enough to admit that she liked it.
If only he’d acted the same around his parents.
***
Travis aimed the tractor down another row to swath. He’d volunteered to help Cash with Hay Day Monday. Kami was working and wouldn’t be around, but he wanted to help in some way. He and Cash would cut the pastures and let them dry out, then come back to bale. They’d do it all while Kami was working, so she didn’t have to worry about a thing. She was already giving them a great deal on the bales since they were haying, and they didn’t have the extra cost of gas to haul across the county.
His phone pinged.
Are your parents still at your place?
Instead of fumbling with the phone while steering, he called her back. The tractor had an enclosed cab, and while it was nosier than a car, he could still talk. He’d spent the morning on the old tractor Cash was using before they switched. It didn’t have a cab, letting the sun beat down in the summer and the wind chafe them raw during every other season. The newer, more expensive red Case tractor was bigger and stored at his place, so he’d just drive it home when he was done. Cash could cut through the pastures to get home.
After a couple of rings, she answered.
“I figured it’d be easier to call.” He took a deep breath. “Yes, they’re not leaving until tomorrow.”
“Then I’ll let you visit before they leave. Are you in the field?”
“I’m in your field.” He infused his voice with suggestion, then dropped back to normal after her breathy laugh. “I don’t want you scared away from my parents. Come over for supper.”
“I…can’t.”
“Is it my mom?”
“Is it obvious?”
Yeah, he’d fucked up this weekend. Mom had adored Michelle and it hadn’t helped his relationship with her. He was adult enough to know that his mom and Kami getting along would make a relationship easier, but it wasn’t critical.
Her end was quiet.
Damn. Waking up to Kami yesterday morning after the dance was the best experience he’d had in…ever. It was everything he’d hoped and more. She’d stood him up for that date all those years ago, but she hadn’t this weekend. He was determined to have her. She was all that was missing in his life.
“Kami, I want you over. Though I can’t promise it’ll be fun, I can promise that I’ll be with you. I love my mother, adore her, but she has no say about you and I.”
“You’re making a good case for supper.”
Her tone was dry, but there was a smile in her voice. This might actually work.
“I’m serious about you, Kami. About us.”
“Me, too,” she said softly. “What time?”
He grinned and rattled off the information and hung up. It pinged again.
Without looking, he answered. “I swear, it’ll be okay.”
“Travis? Did I call at a bad time?”
Shiiiit. Michelle’s dad. His hand fisted around his phone. Why hadn’t he checked the screen? “Apologies, Phil. I thought you were my…cousin.” Travis grimaced. What a fucking liar.
“Della and I are on vacation this week and we wondered when would be a good time to visit.”
His heart pounded. He steered the tractor the best he could while only half his attention was on the task. Why hadn’t he sprung for the Bluetooth? Because he’d spent too much time on his electronics and he could go days with no calls, just his cousins texting back and forth.
“My parents are here tonight, but they leave tomorrow. Any time’s fine. Just shoot me a message first.” The idea of being surprised by Michelle’s parents while he was cementing plans for a future with Kami sent stomach acid clawing up his esophagus. They’d need time to be told first, to process it.