Break Me Down

by Tasha Gwartney

  He told her stories about Brice from the past. Brice even introduced her as his girlfriend, which made her grin. Cameron was welcoming towards her, and he made her feel like just as much of a friend as Brice was to him. She got to meet Cameron’s girlfriend, Kallie, who she took an instant liking towards. She wasn’t like most girls at all. She was fearless. She did what she wanted, how she wanted, and she didn’t care what people thought. They became friends instantly, and she hung out with her outside of hanging with Brice and Cameron.

  “My friends are different. They’re nice people. I don’t say that to be a dick, but come on, Kallie and Cameron don’t make you feel small. I guess it’s a bonus that they really love you.” Brice told her as he kissed her nose.

  “I love them too. Almost as much as I love you,” she told him in an excited voice.

  “Well, I love you too baby. Now I want to make out with you until we have to face your friends. When will they be here?” Brice asked her as he ended up on top of her on the bed.

  “I’m not sure, but I imagine we have time,” Shay informed him, placing her arms around his neck just as their lips met.

  They stayed like that for what felt like a lifetime, before a knock on the door forced them to pull apart.

  “Just a second,” she called, throwing the shirt that Brice removed throughout their make out session at him.

  “Hurry up,” Chris called.

  “Why are you rushing me?” Shay asked just as she opened the door.

  “They’re here,” Chris said, pulling her out. Brice wasn’t far behind.

  “Oh joy,” Brice responded, making Chris laugh. Over the past few months of being around Shay he also got to know her brother, and they became good friends. They had a lot in common, including their feelings for Shay.

  “Oh my God, you look amazing,” Heather said as she pulled her friend into a hug. Not long after, Chelsea and Maxie joined in.

  “Thanks. You don’t look so bad yourself. In fact, you look way different. I love your hair,” she said, noticing Heather’s bob cut and black highlights.

  After a bit more chit chat, Heather joined Chelsea and Maxie where they were. They went into deep conversation about something that looked important.

  “It’s great to see you, Shay,” David said. He clung to a blonde that looked familiar.

  “You too, David.”

  “You remember Kelsey, right,” he asked.

  “I do. It’s great to see you again.”

  “You too. I always wondered where you moved off to. You have a beautiful home,” Kelsey told her, throwing her blonde hair out of her face to reveal her crystal blue eyes.

  Shay smiled inside at the thought that David finally moved on. It was all she ever wanted for him.

  “Thank you so much,” Shay said.

  “You’re welcome.”

  “It’s nice to see you again too, Brice,” David told him as Brice came to stand next to her and linked his fingers with hers.

  “You too. I mean that this time,” Brice joked as the two boys shook hands.

  “Me too,” David said in a joking voice.

  “So enough of this chit-chat. What are we all doing tonight?” Heather asked out of nowhere.

  “Heather, we just got here. Can we get relaxed before we decide on what the hell we’re doing tonight?” David asked, in an annoyed voice.

  “Seriously,” Kelsey responded as she gave Heather a death glare.

  “Geeze, I was just asking.”

  “Everyone calm down,” Chris broke in as he went to the fridge and pulled out a coke.

  “Ry, you seem to be the only one who needs calming down,” Shay said as she looked at her brother. He hated crowded rooms, but the fact that the room was crowded with a bunch of girls he didn’t even like made it more uncomfortable to him.

  “So do you guys want to go down to the café or something?” Brice offered, trying to play nice for Shay.

  “We can’t do anything yet. We’re still waiting on Heather’s boyfriend,” Chelsea said, in what seemed like a jealous tone.

  “Who is this boyfriend,” Shay asked, but before she could answer, the front door opened and they were all faced with a familiar face.

  “Brandon,” Chelsea finally answered minutes later.

  Shay’s entire body froze as the man came into the room. Every breath of air left her lungs and all she wanted to do was collapse on the floor as the man with blonde hair and blue eyes entered the room.

  She stood in silence as everyone mingled around her. Heather raced to him and gave him a kiss on the lips. It disgusted Shay to see it. She couldn’t breathe; she needed to get out of there.

  Where was her sweater? She felt naked as she stood in short shorts and a tank top. How any of this could possibly be happening was beyond her. She wanted to die; it was like everything she worked on in that past few months just disappeared. Her thoughts began to darken, and she wanted to run and hide. She felt the stabbing in her heart as Brice put his hand on her shoulder, but it didn’t scare her.

  She just wanted to leave, she needed to.

  She wanted her safe zone with Brice back but in this moment it was ruined. She began to feel sick as he walked more into the room. His eyes finally locked on hers. It was something she’d never forget. She could never forget the face of the man who took away her innocence when he raped her.

  Chapter Twenty Five

  “Shay, are you okay?” Brice asked, noticing how still she was. It was if she completely shut down. He followed her gaze to the guy who walked in but he couldn’t understand what was going through her mind.

  She stood in silence, not saying anything. She couldn’t take her eyes off Brandon. Her heart sank deeper into her chest as she realized he and Heather were walking toward her. She wanted to move, to be anywhere but here right now. She couldn’t bear to face him, not after all the progress she’d made with Brice.

  “Pretty girl, what’s the matter?” Brice asked again.

  “Hey there little Shay,” Brandon said with a smile that was only meant for her. It was a twisted little smile that said he knew he frightened her.

  “Shay, you remember Brandon right?”

  “Baby, how could she forget me, she did date my brother,” Brandon said.

  “Not to mention you were always at my house,” Chris cut in as he put an arm around his little sister, who flinched at his touch.

  “You’re speechless,” Heather said to Shay, who felt like she was going to puke. It was only Brice who could tell something was wrong. “Brice, this is Brandon, Brandon this is Shay’s boyfriend Brice, since it doesn’t look like she’s going to introduce you.”

  “Boyfriend?” Brandon said, eyeing Shay.

  “Yes, boyfriend. What’s it to you?” Brice asked.

  “You just don’t seem like her type,” he responded.

  “And how would you know her type?” Chris asked.

  “I don’t, I’m just saying. David is sweet, kind, warm and compassionate, and this kid seems the opposite of all that.”

  “You don’t know him,” Chris said. “He may be a bit rough around the edges, but this guy is definitely a keeper. Isn’t that right, Shay?”

  Still silence. She couldn’t find her words. She wanted to lean into Brice and sob, but she wouldn’t give Brandon that satisfaction. She wouldn’t let him see her broken. She refused. Brice tightened his grip on her hand for comfort as she finally regained her strength.

  “So, what are our plans for tonight?” Heather asked, repeating her question from earlier.

  “Are you guys staying here?” Shay finally asked, in hopes that they would be going to a hotel.

  “Yeah, your parents said it was okay,” Heather answered. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, what are our plans?”

  “I’m not sure what your plans are, but I just remembered that Brice and I have to go. His mom wanted us to have dinner with her, and it’s not something we can avoid,” Shay lied, knowing that no matter what she said, Br
ice would back her up on it.

  “Do you have to go?” Heather whined.

  “I do. Will you tell Daddy I’ll call him later?” Shay asked, turning to Chris.

  “Of course, baby girl. Enjoy yourselves,” Chris said just as Shay ran up the stairs and closed her bedroom door, leaving Brice behind. She didn’t know how long she stood in her room before a pair of hands touched her shoulders. It was Brice.

  “What the hell is going on?” Brice asked.

  Shay said nothing. How could she tell him that the man that raped her was downstairs? How could she tell him that she no longer felt safe in her home? She knew if she didn’t get out of here she was going to have a breakdown.

  “It was him, wasn’t it?” Brice asked, putting the pieces together.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Don’t play dumb with me. The man who raped you was Brandon, wasn’t it?”

  Sighing, she plopped down on her bed. “How did you know?”

  “Shay, the minute he walked through the front door you completely shut down. I remember you told me the person who did this was not only your brother’s friend, but David’s brother. I put the pieces together. There was something in your eyes I’d never seen before. It was fear, a different kind of fear. You’re still afraid of him.”

  “I don’t mean to be. I never told you, but he said if I ever told anyone he’d kill my parents and Chris,” Shay revealed.

  “And you believed him?” Brice asked in disbelief.

  She nodded. “Brice, I’ve known him my entire life, and even more than that I trusted him. He hurt me in such a violent way. He betrayed the trust I had for him, and everyone else. If he could do that, then he’s capable of anything. I couldn’t risk them. I love them so much.” Shay began to cry at the thought of Brandon being downstairs.

  “It’ll be okay. I swear I’ll kill him,” Brice said with anger in his voice.

  “Brice, please don’t. I’m begging you don’t start anything. I don’t want anyone to find out.”

  “Why are you protecting him?”

  “Because I don’t want them to be disappointed in me. I should have been tougher. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

  “Look at me,” Brice demanded, crouching down to her level.

  “Stop blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong. Okay? “

  “Okay. Brice, why does this keep happening? We were doing so well. I can’t… And now, I don’t feel safe in my own home,” Shay cried into his arms.

  “Shhh. I know. It’ll be okay.”

  “How? There’s no way I’ll be able to sleep tonight,” she replied, knowing that she couldn’t sleep with her rapist down the hall.

  “You’ll be able to sleep tonight, because you’re not staying here. Pack a bag. Until they leave, I’m not letting you out of my sight, and you can stay with me,” Brice told her as he went into her closet and pulled out a black duffle bag.

  “Brice, I can’t stay with you,” she whispered.

  “Why not,” he asked in disbelief. How she for one second could consider still saying here when that ass of a man was going to be down the hall was beyond him.

  “I can’t impose on your life like that. I love you, I do, but I can’t bring you into this.”

  “Stop it! I’m a part of this now, because I love you. And you’re not going to push me out, not after everything we’ve been through.

  You said that you don’t feel safe here, so either you’re staying with me, or I’m staying here with you. And we both know that us staying here is a really bad idea for Brandon’s face.” Shay couldn’t help but giggle at his last statement.

  “Okay, I’ll come with you. But right now, can you just hold me?” Shay asked, feeling vulnerable.

  “Of course. Come here, pretty girl.”

  “I love you so much. I feel so exposed and naked. I just want my sweatshirt,” Shay told him. She hadn’t worn it in months. She and Brice put it away together after he helped her work through her issues that caused her to wear it.

  “You don’t need that. You’re beautiful. Don’t let him drive you back there, baby.” Brice begged her. He was going to fight for her. He was going to fight for her to keep the confidence that she worked so hard to build.

  “Please don’t let him hurt me again. I don’t want him to be near me. Please don’t let him come near me,” she begged in a soft cry.

  “I promise that I’m never going to let him hurt you again. Baby, I love you more than anything in this world,” Brice told her, framing her face between his hands. “He’ll have to get through me if he wants to get to you.”

  Letting out a breath of relief, Shay let Brice hold her. They ended up on the bed and within minutes she cried herself to sleep. Brice held her for what seemed like forever. He listened to her sob and realized it was the most heartbreaking sound in the world. He hated the fact that Brandon could still get to her, even after all these months. He hated that the son of a bitch was still walking around, as if it never happened. He watched her as she mumbled in her sleep and be began to feel his stomach twist. He said he wouldn’t go after Brandon, but he couldn’t just let him get away with what he’d done. In that very moment Brice vowed to get Shay the justice that she so much deserved. He wasn’t going to let this bastard get away with hurting the one person who meant everything to him. He’d pay for all the pain and suffering he caused her, if it was the last thing Brice ever did. He hated that the bastard was downstairs enjoying himself, yet Shay was here, lying in his arms after crying so much that sleep gave in to her. It seemed unfair to him.

  “Brice,” he heard Shay whisper as she slowly began to wake up.

  “I’m here,” he informed her as she sat up and leaned over the side of the bed.

  “Thank you. Thank you for comforting me, and just being here. I didn’t mean to cry,” she commented as she got off the bed and put the empty duffle bag she still needed to pack on her bed.

  “You don’t ever have to thank me for that. I’m always going to pick you up when you’re down and right now I just want to take all your pain away. Do you want to stay for a while or do you want to leave now?”

  “Just get me out of here,” she told Brice as she threw a week’s worth of clothes into her bag.

  ***

  Going back downstairs, everyone was mingling together in the living room. Shay and Brice walked down hand in hand with the duffel bag in his free hand. Shay walked in hopes that maybe no one would notice that. She knew once they saw her bag, there was no way she’d be able to make a clean break.

  “Where are you going,” Heather asked, getting up from her spot and stopping them in their tracks. Chris and Brandon weren’t far behind. “I told you Brice and I are having dinner with his mom.”

  “Why do you have a bag,” Chris asked.

  “I can’t stay here, and I’m not going to explain why but I just can’t. I’m staying with Brice for the next week but tell Daddy that

  I’ll be back later tonight to explain everything to him.”

  “What is wrong with you, Shay,” Heather asked her in an annoyed voice.

  “Nothing is wrong with me, Heather,” Shay said, furious about the fact that Heather was dating her rapist. But the she couldn’t be upset with Heather. She didn’t know the truth.

  “Then why are you leaving,” Heather asked. She had just gotten here and her best friend was leaving, what the hell was up with that?

  “I need space from this house right now,” Shay said. Heather couldn’t figure out what her problem was. All the statements that were coming out of her mouth were vague.

  “What does that even mean? On the phone you were so elated that we were coming, and now you’re treating us like you did when we were here during summer. I mean, why?” Heather said in a dramatic voice.

  “I just need to go, okay, and frankly it doesn’t matter why. You’re here and that’s all that matters, I said I’d spend time you guys and I haven’t changed my damn mind about that. So just deal with the fac
t that I want to spend time with my boyfriend, just like you want to spend time with the one you didn’t tell me you were bringing!” Shay yelled at her, just as the room became silent. All eyes were on her as she let her best friend have it.

  “Is that what this is about? Brandon?” Heather asked. Just the sound of his name made Shay flinch. “I thought you’d be okay with me dating him.”

  “It has nothing to do with the fact that you’re dating him. You like him; if he likes you, then more power to you. You just need to be careful,” Shay said, not realizing that the warning had come out before it was too late.

  “Why would I need to be careful? Brandon would never hurt me. He’s the most loving guy there is out there,” Heather said as a light came into her eyes.

  “Sometimes, the people you trust the most are the ones that hurt you the most,” Shay responded, remembering how much she once trusted Brandon until he betrayed her in the most violent way.

  “What are you saying?” Heather asked.

  “Just be careful,” Shay told her, and before Heather could say anything else, Shay led Brice out before she let the truth slip out. The last thing she needed was her best friend to accuse her of lying and she knew that was exactly what Heather would do.

  Chapter Twenty Six

  Brandon watched as Shay and Brice cuddled on their towel on the beach. She lay in his arms as she stared out into the ocean while Brice whispered something into her ear.

  He felt fury rise in him as she sat up just enough for Brice to gently massage her shoulders. It made Brandon angry that Brice got to touch her in a way he wanted to. He got to touch her with her consent, which was something that Brandon had wanted since he met her.

  He’d always thought she was beautiful. He watched her for years. He saw her grow up to become the beautiful woman she was today. He didn’t want anyone to have her, except him. She was his, and no matter what it took to get her back, he’d do it.