Eluding Nirvana

by King, V. L.

  As Walker held his hands up in a gesture of defeat and stated, “No need to tell me twice, boss,” Liam’s tall body had already leaned down and planted a swift kiss on my head.

  As I sat back in the padded chair, he towered over me, eclipsing me with his shadow. The seat he had occupied was tucked comfortably under the table as he muttered, “Good. Enjoy yourself.” Then like a bat out of Hell, he began steering Liv out of the room. Once again, he failed to disguise his fingertips, which were gently caressing her lower back, before I even had chance to say goodbye to either of them.

  During a brief lapse of utter madness, I felt a sizable degree of risk feasting on my vulnerability. ‘Fuck it’ was what the small voice in my head was whispering to me while I watched Liam and Liv fade into the distance. When they were both completely out of sight, the whisper became more of a necessitating yell. Either way, I had no clue what game Liam was playing or whether the hand he had dealt to me was one of deception. I was filling my lungs to borderline bursting point when I was struck with my epiphany. If this happened to be the ‘you do as I requested’ game, then I was going to make damn sure I passed with honors.

  “Who’s for cocktails?” I bellowed a little louder than necessary.

  Laurie glanced between me and her cousin, her eyebrows lifting considerably with a shrewd little wriggle. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t adorable. “How about a little karaoke instead?” she countered.

  “Karaoke? You’re kidding, right?” I scoffed. “I don’t do karaoke.”

  “Oh, Kady, everybody does karaoke. The people that think they don’t just don’t realize it yet.”

  I still wasn’t being won over. Singing was a big no-no for me. Singing in the privacy of the shower was about as far as I would ever go. Mainly because the crashing sound of the spewing water masked how bad I really was.

  Walker pulled the cuff of his navy and caramel shirt up and checked his watch. “Sorry to disappoint you, dear cousin, but karaoke has been over for thirty minutes.”

  She hung her head like a child, with the word ‘damn’ traveling on a moody sigh.

  “But we could still go to McGinty’s for a quiet drink. Would you be all right with that, Kady?”

  I nodded, all the while thinking, McGinty’s? Where the hell was that and who the fuck was McGinty?

  “Kady’s in, what about you, misery guts?”

  Tried as I might, I couldn’t suppress an amused snort. The directness which both Laurie and Walker engaged in was fascinating. I loved how they bounced off each other.

  “A quiet drink?” she sneered. “Nah, you can drop me home on the way. Jesus, I never knew an Irishman could be so boring.”

  After settling the bill, we left the bistro and filed into Walker’s beloved pickup. Considering Laurie was going to be the first to exit, she was taking her place next to the door, while I sat in the middle of the bench. I was so close to Walker that I could feel his body heat, I could smell his cologne. Every time he shifted the side of his body would graze against my own, and it filled me with…I don’t know…it was something which I hadn’t felt in a long time, almost…thrilling, daring. It was something I knew damn well I had to steer from, not because I questioned my fidelity—I would never cheat, or do anything that would be remotely considered as cheating—but because I questioned how Liam would perceive it.

  I couldn’t and wouldn’t stick my head in that lion’s den again.

  We dropped Laurie off at the building I once called my home. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and told Walker that she would call him the following day before slipping out of the truck. The door was slammed behind her, and we watched on for a brief moment, ready to make sure that she got herself safely inside before pulling off.

  “Have fun,” she called, her voice echoing through the night.

  A small distinct gasp, which I tried to mask, was torn from my throat when Walker stretched himself across the bench. His right hand was a hairsbreadth away from my thigh when he called out of the opened window. “We will once you get your arse inside.”

  She merited him with a hasty salute then disappeared inside her apartment building.

  I found myself giggling in disbelief when Walker pulled into the gravel-strewn car lot in front of McGinty’s. “What’s so funny?” he grunted, putting the truck into park.

  “You know, for three years I used to live in that exact same building as Laurie, yet I never knew that this place existed just around the corner.”

  “Never knew this place…” He trailed off on a scoff, his opinion enhanced by the unimpressed shake of his head. “This is the best place in town. And that’s not me being biased.”

  “Biased?” I queried. Granted, it was left unanswered. Why I was even remotely peeved about that, I have no idea. I was used to my questions going unanswered by Liam, but by another? That was just plain rude.

  He abandoned the truck with a rushed slam of the door. Before I even unclipped my belt and released the passenger-side door, Walker was already at my side holding it open for me. I whispered my thanks while lowering myself from the seat and shakily made my way over the gravel in my heels.

  The display of Walker’s thoughtful manners had an intense warmth heating my insides. I never would have thought that someone as…masculine as him would even bother with chivalrous acts. Macho and chivalry were worlds apart in my mind. So when the green door of the bar was also held open for me and the gentle, warm tone of his voice offered a ‘ladies first’, my response was a simple, timid smile that made the erratic, pumping muscle in my chest billow.

  “All right, son?” a voice sounded through the building. The source of the greeting was a man with silver hair hanging to his shoulders, going about his late-night duties behind the green counter.

  “Aye. Quiet tonight I see?” Walker answered with me trailing behind, making our way through the empty tavern.

  “That it is, son. But they’ll be back. They always are,” the old man answered.

  As we rounded the pool table, it was impossible for the caress of Walker’s fingertips over the green felt to go unobserved. How he managed to achieve a degree of seduction in such an effortless act was perplexing, so much so, the act of drawing my attention from that hand was proving challenging. “I see it got delivered then?”

  “Aye, that it did, son. Arrived this afternoon. Now I just need to think of a place to put the fucking thing.” The man’s gaze swept up and down the length of the room, as did mine.

  A small stage extended over at the end of the building to my left with a small dance floor below it. Dark round tables and matching chairs were strategically placed for comfort, yet enough room was left to maneuver around them. Flashing lights of slot machines and an old-fashioned jukebox at the right of the building caught my eye. There didn’t appear to be a spot anywhere big enough for the table to be rehoused. Keeping it where it was got my vote.

  “Who’s the pretty lady?”

  “Da, this is Kady. Kady, meet my da.”

  “It’s nice to meet you.” I smiled, and when he flipped a towel over his shoulder, I shook his hand.

  “You too, Kady.” It must have been an Irish thing, because the ‘D’ of my name was transformed into a ‘T’ by the old man as well. It made me smile and hang my head.

  He asked what he could get us while Walker lit up a cigarette and dragged an ashtray closer to him, stunning me for a brief moment as my mouth went dry and my stomach flipped. The lightheaded buzzing and grating of my lungs which I had experienced only a few months ago when I was the one on the receiving end of those chemicals was recalled as I studied him in an uncomfortable silence. I watched the smoke twirl and spiral as it left his mouth in a controlled exhale before he ordered a bottle of Bud for himself.

  I halted the old man after Walker ordered me a large white wine. “Actually, I’ll have the same as Walker, please.”

  I felt Walker’s cynical, yet comical gaze burning into me. I turned to face him and was met with slightly narrowed eyes
. “Really?” he probed, drawing the smoking stick from between his lips before moistening them with a sweep of his tongue.

  “When in Rome, right?”

  The dimple on his left cheek, and the lengthening of his throat as he lifted his head back with a husky chuckle was hypnotizing. With a sphere of butterflies in my stomach and the hugest, most sincere grin that my face has borne in a long time, I watched him flick the gathering ash of the tip of his cigarette into the tray before him then take a draw from his bottle.

  “I didn’t know you were a smoker,” I mused, seizing the uncapped, dark glass bottle from Walker’s father with a smile of appreciation.

  He cocked his wrist, examining the burning stick held loosely between the fingers of his right hand. “Aye, but only socially.” I smiled through my unease, my eyes drifting over the bar when he drew my attention again. “Sorry, darlin’. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.” He lifted his arm to his mouth for one final draw on the tip before outing it in the ashtray and blowing the gathering of chemicals out on a shallow breath.

  The mere fact that he drew an end to his act after sensing my unease made my heart billow under my ribs.

  “Better?” he asked, smiling wide.

  “You didn’t have to do that. But thank you.”

  He tipped his head gallantly, wrenching the dark glass from his lips. When he gestured towards the pool table along my left, his eyes twinkled. “Fancy christening the table, Kady?”

  “Excuse me?” My eyes were made wider in utter shock and horror while I heard the old man behind the bar snigger.

  “I meant join me in the first game of pool, on the table.”

  Air gradually left my lungs and I dropped my head with a tiny shake, awaiting his censure.

  “My God, your mind is filthy, darlin’.” He was practically purring. By means of his forearm, he pushed himself away from the bar. The step he took towards me had my heart lurching into my mouth, while my nostrils instantly demanded a fresh encounter with his cologne. As my eyes scoured over the white T-shirt that was stretching across his broad chest, much needed oxygen had already caught in my throat. Eventually our eyes locked and through simple gazes alone, we had a moment of silent communication. There was something about the absence of words and the headiness of our proximity that screamed eroticism.

  “…I like it.”

  The smell of beer, garlic, and a hint of smoke traveled on his whisper. The lopsided grin and roguish wink spawned exhilarating chills throughout my body, as he skirted me and graced the table.

  “I, um…” Oh God, this was both embarrassing and awkward. My train of thought came to an immediate standstill when I witnessed his beige, denim pants stretching over his behind as he bent down to rub his palms out over the new felt.

  When I failed to continue, my mouth suddenly bone-dry thanks to my jaw slackening, he reared up. His plaid shirt hanging open appealingly, he asked, “What is it, darlin’?”

  Deep breath, Kady, find the fucking words. I offered an abashed smile. “I don’t know how to play.”

  “You’ve never played pool?”

  I shook my head and rolled my lips over my teeth, shrugging my shoulders.

  “Jesus. That’s just unacceptable. Don’t worry, I’ll teach ya, darlin’.” Another snigger from his father had Walker pointing at him and tilting his head down in a mocked warning. “Don’t you start, Da,” he chided, and went about putting the balls in a triangle.

  “Okay, so, where’s the stick?”

  He tried, I know he tried, but he was doing an absolute awful job of concealing his amusement. Lifting his eyes up at me, those hypnotic hands slithered over the green felt until they were braced on the cushion, bearing his weight as he smirked. “Stick?”

  “Yes, the stick to hit the balls.”

  “This.” He shifted and recovered the topic of discussion. “Is called a cue, darlin’.”

  My jaw practically rested on my left shoulder as I simultaneously cocked my head and submitted to a noncommittal shrug. “It’s made from wood and whittled into a long pole. It is, in all intents and purposes, a stick.”

  His thick, husky laughter was contagious. He finally shook his head. “I give up. Here, take your stick, darlin’.” So I did with a triumphant grin. “Do you want to break?”

  “Break what?”

  The center of his upper lip was lightly grazed by his right thumbnail. I watched as wry eyes widened from over his hand while he clutched his stick in his left. “Never mind, I’ll break.”

  It was suggested that I back up a little to avoid being hit as he began to fold his body over the table. Snared by absolute fascination, I studied him once I’d stepped around the corner of the table. The way his body fell so low against the surface and the look of sheer concentration in his eyes while his tongue came to rest on his lower lip was the most alluring sight I’d ever had the pleasure to witness.

  Taking his shot, the white ball dispersed the triangle of colors, sending them scattering over the table. Still, none of them fell.

  “Okay, I didn’t pocket any, so you’re up.”

  “What one have I got t—?”

  I shivered as he smirked. “Whichever tickles your fancy, darlin’?” That had my eyes glazed and my lower lip snared between my teeth. This man and his innuendos. And he said I have a filthy mind.

  For a long while, I scrutinized the table. Finally I opted for a striped ball aiming towards the middle-right hole, or pocket, whatever it’s called. I peeked up at the man waiting on tenterhooks, his eyebrows lifted, and I found my attention being repeatedly drawn to his mouth as his right thumb once again lightly scoured the center of his upper lip in thought. “Help me, I don’t know how to…”

  “Come ‘ere.” He mounted his stick against the wall then took position behind me. “Bend down,” he ordered softly.

  Cagily, I did as I was told.

  “Lower…lower…”

  “My God, this is embarrassing,” I lightly protested, letting my head fall forward onto the felt. I felt exposed with my ass on full view for everybody. I knew the only people in the bar were Walker and his father and the lights were low, but still I felt a wave of vulnerability crash over me.

  “No, it’s not. Here, stand back up.”

  An unsuspecting shudder journeyed through my entire body as I reared up and felt his hand pressing between my shoulder blades gently guiding me back down to the table below. His body soon joined me as he plummeted from his stance until he hovered over my back. The warmth of his front sliced through my blouse, while his hand glided infinitesimally from my shoulder blades down the length of my spine. I had to work twice as hard to contain a whimper.

  “Drop your weight through your hip,” he sighed, his voice scratchy. My body didn’t stand a chance as his softly spoken brogue sent a current of vibrations through me, causing my body to give birth to a ruthless shudder and my skin to prickle.

  I did as I was told, slotting my right foot behind and effectively between his legs and dropping my weight into my right hip.

  Feeling the hardened skin coating his left hand as he aided in supporting the tip of the cue, had me gasping. “Focus on the balls,” he purred from behind. “Imagine you’re a lioness, Kady, that ball is your prey. You’re getting ready to pounce, understand, darlin’?”

  My swallow reflex was resisting, thanks to that lump of desire lodged in my throat, as his right hand left my spine and came around me to hold my hand as I grasped the cue.

  “Yes,” I rasped, trying with everything I had to focus on that damn striped ball instead of the weight and heat of the Irishman on my back, my leg between his, his arms around me, shielding me as the scent of smoky garlic and beer caressed and pasted onto my neck and jawline.

  “Pull back,” he guided my right arm back. “Tell me when you’re ready, darlin’.”

  I didn’t ever think I would’ve been ready, but I said it anyway. When my words were freed in a sigh, he muttered the single word ‘Softly’ in
my ear. He gently guided my right arm through to hit the white which collided with my desired ball, sending it into the pocket.

  “I did it,” I shrieked, straightening my posture.

  “Aye, that you did, darlin’.” He grinned and then lifted his head to his father who was still arranging glasses behind the bar. “See, Da, told you I’m a good tutor.”

  The old man simply grunted before Walker turned back to me. “You get another shot. Just try not to pocket my solid, okay, darlin’?”

  It was bizarre. I probably should have felt awkward to a certain degree, with the Irishman’s choice of words and the way in which they were spoken. But I didn’t. I found myself amused and desired, and I suppose some part of me, at least for tonight, felt like I was able to let my hair down.

  Those dimples of his made an A+ appearance before I playfully back handed him in the gut. Feigning a wound and bowled over with a grunt, he looked adorable as I rounded him.

  “You say I got a dirty mind.”

  “Takes one to know one, darlin’. Now, have you chosen your ball?”

  Studying the table intently, I finally nodded pointing to the top-left pocket. When I just stood there staring at the sphere like I was going to move it telekinetically, he chuckled. “Want another hand?”

  “Please?”

  Before I knew it, his heavy, hard body was shielding my back once again. In spite of taking position, I felt out of place, almost off-center. As I attempted to get comfortable, I shifted my right leg less than an inch, but that inch was enough to cause my behind to graze along something that really shouldn’t have been in my reach.

  A faint gasp at the connection from behind had my body stiffening and cheeks heating. Damn, what was I saying? My entire body was heating, muscles in my belly fluttered while every hair follicle stood to attention. I wrenched my head to my left to peek over my shoulder. The side of Walker’s face was so close, that if I moved an inch closer, my cheek would have brushed against that prickly scruff coating his jaw.