A Christmas Promise

by Thomas Kinkade

  Maybe that’s what she was doing here, Leigh reflected, recalling Jill’s forthright question. God wanted her to hear James talk, to see that there were some truly good people in the world. Not everyone was as small and self-serving as her former husband and his family.

  And maybe to see her own self-centeredness, too. She had woken up that morning and hid out in her room from poor Vera. She had been feeling sorry for herself, thinking her life was so difficult. Now it seemed easy in comparison. Yes, she had her problems, plenty of them. But she still had food to eat, a roof over her head, and money in her pocket. She had her health and when the time came she would provide for her baby. She decided she would make a donation today to the mission. She didn’t have much money but she had enough.

  James’s talk had been disturbing but also inspiring. If people with so little means and so little hope can make their way, so can I. It does take some hope and faith, though, she thought. She’d been so short on both for so long, like a car running on empty.

  The service ended and Leigh was swept along by the crowd leaving the sanctuary, down the main aisle to the doors that opened to the vestibule. Molly glanced over her shoulder and met Leigh’s eye. “Just follow along. We won’t lose you.”

  Leigh soon found herself face-to-face with Reverend Lewis. He held out his hand to her, his blue eyes sparkling behind his gold-rimmed spectacles. “Nice to see you this morning. Welcome to Bible Community Church.”

  “This is Leigh Baxter.” James leaned over Reverend Lewis’s shoulder, speaking before Leigh could reply. “She’s the woman I ran into on the Beach Road.”

  “Oh, yes, I remember. James tells me you’ve taken a job and decided to stay in town.”

  “It’s a beautiful town.” Leigh forced a smile. News certainly traveled fast around here. She glanced at James, wondering what else he had said about her. “The job is only temporary, until Dr. Harding’s secretary comes back.”

  Reverend Lewis smiled again. “I hope you enjoy it here, no matter how long.”

  “Thank you, Reverend. I enjoyed the service,” she added.

  “Good. Maybe we’ll see you again.”

  “Maybe . . .” Leigh’s voice drifted off. She didn’t want to lie, but she didn’t know what else to say. She wasn’t much of a churchgoer, not since she was a little girl and her mother used to take her. When she went to college she fell out of the habit.

  The line ahead of her moved forward, and she found herself facing James. He held out his hand and she shook it. It seemed a funny thing to do, considering they saw each other all the time.

  His grip on her hand was warm and strong. “It’s good to see you this morning, Leigh. I was so surprised when I looked out and saw you sitting there.”

  He was also so honest about his feelings. As usual, it caught her off guard.

  “Vera had trouble starting her car so I gave her a lift. Your talk was very interesting . . . and very moving,” she admitted. “I’d really like to hear more about the mission sometime.”

  “Anytime at all. I have some photographs back at the house. I can show you some of my friends, the ones I spoke about.”

  “I’d like that.” Leigh suddenly realized that she was holding up the line. “Well . . . I’d better catch up with Vera.”

  “Okay. See you.” James watched for a moment as she walked away.

  Leigh glanced around for Vera but ended up meeting Molly again. “Have you seen Vera?” Leigh asked her.

  Molly quickly scanned the crowd. “She must have gone to the Christmas Fair meeting.”

  “Can you show me where it is? I just want to let her know I’m leaving.” Leigh knew she could probably ask Molly to convey the message, but she wanted to make sure Vera had a ride home.

  “I think they’re meeting in the all-purpose room. It’s this way.” Molly led Jessica through the church and then through a set of double doors.

  The big room looked exactly the way it sounded, Leigh thought. There were folding tables with cake and coffee on one end, a piano in one corner, and long drapes over one wall, concealing storage and possibly a small stage. The polished wood floor could have been either a basketball court or a dance floor.

  Most of the congregation was now gathered here, talking and laughing, with children who had just come from Sunday school chasing each other around the big space.

  “I see Vera back there with Sophie Potter.” Molly directed Leigh to a group at the far end of the room that was gathered around a square table. As Leigh began to walk toward them Molly touched her arm again. “Oh, wait. Here comes my big lug of a brother. I want to introduce you.”

  Molly’s brother was a big man but not quite what Leigh would call a lug. His striking good looks and brilliant smile were distinctly unluglike. A very pretty woman walked beside him, also greeting Molly with a smile. Leigh assumed she must be Jessica, Sam’s wife, whom Molly had mentioned.

  Molly quickly introduced Leigh to the couple, extravagantly praising her work at Dr. Harding’s office. “It was like a miracle, I mean it. She just dropped in out of the blue and saved the day. I think she’s even better with the patients than Amy. But don’t tell Amy I said that—if she ever comes back, that is.”

  Jessica met Leigh’s eyes and smiled, then her gaze wandered lower, taking in her pregnancy, unmistakable beneath Leigh’s sweater. For just a moment Leigh thought she saw the woman’s clear blue eyes cloud over with a troubled expression.

  “Amy will be back,” Leigh said. “I just spoke to her on Tuesday.”

  “We’ll see. She’s always been a little flaky.” Molly shook her head and turned her attention to her brother. “Are you going to Mom and Dad’s for Thanksgiving? Mom said she wasn’t sure.”

  “Gee, I guess I forgot to call her. Sure, we’ll be there.” Sam said.

  Leigh noticed Jessica glance at her husband then back at Molly. “Will there be a big crowd?”

  “Just the usual suspects—five hundred adults and ten million kids. I’m doing some of the cooking so that should help her out a little.”

  “I can bring something. I’ll call your mom tonight and see what she needs.”

  “Holiday prep talk. I don’t think I’m ready for this yet. You’ll have to excuse me.” Sam gave them a charming grin as he headed toward the coffee table.

  “He won’t mind eating the dinner though. Just for that, no dessert,” Molly called after him.

  Jessica took a sip of her coffee. “When are you due, Leigh?” she asked.

  “In about six weeks. January fifth.”

  “You’ll probably be late,” Molly predicted. “Or early, depending. They actually don’t know, which is what you really need to remember. Which reminds me of this joke: A woman asks her doctor, ‘Should I have a baby after thirty-five?’ And he says, ‘Thirty-five children are probably enough, don’t you think?’ ”

  Leigh laughed but noticed Jessica’s smile seemed halfhearted.

  “By the way, since you are sticking around for a while, have you found an obstetrician?” Molly asked her.

  Leigh had thought about that the other day when she told Dr. Harding she would stay. She was due for a checkup and didn’t want to miss the visit. “I’ve been meaning to ask Matt for a recommendation but haven’t gotten around to it. Do you know someone?”

  “I have a great doctor for you. She’s just down in Hamilton. Matt thinks very highly of her, too. Here.” Molly took a pen and a small note-pad from her purse and scribbled the doctor’s name on it, then handed it to Leigh.

  “Great, I’ll call her this week.” Leigh was grateful for the recommendation but noticed that Jessica had grown very quiet. Perhaps she felt left out of the conversation, Leigh thought, hoping she hadn’t been rude. “Well, I’d better catch up with Vera,” she said. “I just want to make sure she has a ride.”

  “Oh, I can take her. We live out on the Beach Road. I have to pass the turn to her house on my way.” Jessica finished her coffee and tossed the cup in a nearby trash can. “I ou
ght to be back there myself. They’re going to send someone after me in a minute.”

  “You’re sure it’s not any trouble?” Leigh asked.

  “Not at all. It was nice to finally meet you, Leigh. Good luck with your baby.” Jessica lightly touched Leigh’s arm and her eyes held a sincere, caring light.

  “My brother and sister-in-law are trying to start a family,” Molly whispered as Jessica headed back to the Christmas Fair meeting. “They’re having some problems though.”

  “Oh, that’s too bad.” That explained Jessica’s interest in her pregnancy, Leigh thought. It also made her mindful of her own blessings, for the second time that day. At least her pregnancy was going well so far, and soon she would have her very own baby. “I hope it works out for them.”

  “Me, too.” Molly sighed. “I’d better go round up my gang. Enjoy your day off. I’ll be in the library, doing homework projects. Ah, the joys of motherhood.” Molly rolled her eyes. “See what you have to look forward to?”

  Leigh couldn’t help laughing at her. “I do. See you.”

  Molly ran off to look for her family, and Leigh slipped on her coat and headed out of the gathering. As she walked toward her car, she realized that she felt suddenly lonely; she was almost sorry to go. She nearly turned back, thinking she would sit in on the meeting and wait for Vera. How long could it take?

  Then she stopped herself. She didn’t understand what was going on with her today. All this time, she had been waiting for the chance to slip away and have some time alone. Now she wanted to go back inside?

  No, she shouldn’t do that. She pulled open the car door and got inside, then started up the engine and pulled away from the church. She wasn’t sure where she should go, back to the house again? Or maybe out to the beach? It was a sunny, calm day, and she was dressed for cold weather. Maybe the fresh air would help clear her head. She wished that James was around to walk with her, then stopped herself again.

  She knew that when you were pregnant you had to expect mood swings. Maybe that was it. Or maybe it was that everyone at the church had been so warm and welcoming. The whole morning had been a little overwhelming. Still, the last thing she needed was a bout of self-pity.

  Okay, so I’m feeling a little low and lonely. It’s only normal, considering what I’m going through. Living under a fake identity doesn’t exactly lend itself to close friendships. She touched her stomach gently and murmured, “But you’re worth it all. So if I stay on here for the next few weeks, I can’t let myself get too close to anyone—no matter how tempting or harmless it may seem.” I could let my guard down for one minute and lose everything.

  ON SUNDAY NIGHT IT WAS SAM’S TURN TO COOK. JESSICA SAT ON A TALL stool by the stove and watched him cut an onion into thick chunks as he started to make steak and stir-fried vegetables.

  Everybody in Sam’s family seemed to know how to cook. Not surprising, since his father was a professional chef.

  “Can I help with anything?” she asked.

  “Just sit there and look pretty. That helps.” He glanced over his shoulder and grinned at her, and she smiled back.

  “I spoke to your mother this afternoon and told her we were coming for Thanksgiving. She sounds as if everything is under control. I don’t know how she manages with all those people in that tiny house. She’s planning on two turkeys. Big ones, too.”

  Sam laughed and stirred something sizzling around in the big metal wok. “She always makes two birds, Jess. I’m surprised she isn’t going for three. It got pretty ugly when they ran out of drumsticks last year.”

  He was joking, of course. But with six sisters and brothers, even if only half of his clan and their children came, there was always a houseful and the table could get pretty raucous.

  “You can buy drumsticks separately. Maybe I should cook some here and bring them. Your mom asked me to make cranberry sauce. I think I’ll need a gallon of it.”

  “Sounds about right. Every holiday my parents get in a lather about not having enough food. Then there’s always way too much. The real question is, what are we going to do with all the leftovers my mother will try to send home with us?”

  “I’m sure you’ll think of something,” Jessica said. She liked her in-laws very much; she had never found their generosity hard to take. There were other aspects of the Morgan family gatherings, though, that were difficult for her. Harder and harder, it seemed.

  “I don’t know, Sam. I’m sorry to sound like such a downer, but I’m sort of dreading the holiday. It’s hard for me, being around all your sisters and brothers and all their kids.” She waited, watching his expression change, seeing that he was starting to understand. “I know that everyone feels sorry for me about the miscarriage, and they’re either giving me these long sympathetic looks or pulling me aside to get a progress report.”

  Sam nodded and cast her an understanding look. “I know. I get the same thing, in a way. They mean well. But they’re all too nosy sometimes.”

  “Sometimes?” Jessica’s expression made him smile again. She tried to smile, too. It was better than crying, which was what she really felt like doing.

  Her mood was just out of control today. Maybe it was the medication she’d been taking. Meeting Leigh Baxter in church today had set her off track, too. She couldn’t help thinking about Leigh’s due date. Her baby’s due date had been exactly one month after: February fifth.

  Sam walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. “Honey, don’t worry. We’re going to have a family. The doctor said our chances are good, very good.”

  Jessica sighed. “He didn’t say very good. Just good was all. What else could he say?”

  Sam leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Please don’t worry like this, Jess. I know it’s tough right now, but let’s try to be more patient.”

  “I am trying. It’s just—hard.”

  “I know. It’s hard for me too. But we’re making some progress with this new doctor, I think. Hey, Reverend Cameron asked me to read in church next week. You know what my verse is going to be?”

  Jessica shook her head, unsure of whether this little tangent had anything to do with their conversation. “What is it?”

  “ ‘Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.’ ” Sam smiled at her. “It felt like more than a coincidence when Reverend Cameron told me. It felt like . . . like a message or something, about you and me. That we’re on the right track and we have to be hopeful.”

  She nodded, knowing he was right. The verse lifted her spirits, too.

  “I think part of it is, Jess, that we have to keep an open mind. I mean, sometimes the Lord sends us what we asked for, but it isn’t exactly what we had in mind.” He paused and rubbed her shoulders a bit. “I mean . . . if we try and try and try and still can’t have a baby, maybe we ought to consider adoption. Don’t you think?”

  Jessica could see that it was hard for Sam to talk about this with her, and she could tell from his tone that it had probably been on his mind for some time.

  “I don’t know,” she said truthfully. “Right now, I just want to see if I can have our own baby. I want the experience of being pregnant and giving birth, Sam. That might be hard for you to understand, being a man. But it’s very important to me. I’m not thinking of giving up so soon and adopting.”

  “Sure, I understand. I’m not giving up either, honey. I was just trying to say there are other things we can think of. If the pills you’re taking don’t work, there are plenty of other ways to increase our chances. The doctor offered a lot of alternatives.”

  “Yes . . . he did.” Jessica nodded, whisking her moist eyes with the back of her hand. The list of infertility treatments he had given them seemed long and—if she was perfectly honest about it—quite daunting. She truly hoped she and Sam would not need to work their way down the long list of treatments. She wanted a baby in the worst way . . . but she wasn’t really sure how much anticipation and disappointment she co
uld endure.

  “It’s just that I love you so much, Jess. I hate to see you unhappy.” He put his arms around her and kissed her then touched her cheek with his hand. “It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

  Jessica stared into her husband’s eyes for a moment and tried to smile. She knew he couldn’t really promise her that but thought it was very sweet of him to try.

  Finally, Sam returned to the counter. He flipped a red pepper on the cutting board and began cutting long thin strips. Jessica picked up a Christmas catalog and thumbed through the pages. Each photo seemed to show an athletic, all-American family dressed in stylish outdoor wear, with ruddy cheeks, windblown hair, and golden retrievers prancing at their heels as they strolled through snowy woods or decorated Christmas trees.

  Jessica suddenly wished she could step into the pages, as if through a magic glass, and be part of that perfectly color-coordinated world where problems like infertility didn’t exist. She’d be happy to be a mother to any one of those pretty children. If only you could order a baby from a catalog . . .

  “Listen, Jess, I wanted to ask you something. I thought on Thanksgiving we could bring Darrell with us to my parents’ house. Luke said some of the other kids at the center are going to different homes around the village for the holiday, but so far, Darrell hasn’t been invited anywhere.”

  I’m not surprised, either was her first thought. Then she caught herself, ashamed of her response. When she didn’t answer, Sam glanced over his shoulder at her.

  She avoided his questioning look. “Gee . . . I don’t know. I’m not so sure that’s a good idea. I mean, considering the way he acted at my mother’s house . . .”

  Sam had his back to her now, but she could see the tense set of his shoulders as he kept slicing. “We had a good talk about that. I think Darrell understands now that what he did was wrong. I think we should give him another chance, to show that we trust him to behave himself.”