A Christmas Promise

by Thomas Kinkade

  That you trust him, you mean, Jessica wanted to say.

  “I’m sorry, Sam. I just don’t think it’s a good idea. What if he disrupts the whole party? What if he fights with the other kids? You’ll have to watch him every minute. It could spoil our entire day.”

  Sam pushed the pile of chopped vegetables to one side of the cutting board and turned to face her.

  “I know this will be inconvenient. I know I’ll have to keep an eye on him, and it might not be the most relaxing Thanksgiving of my life. But it will be worth it to me, Jessica, because I think I’ll be giving Darrell a great day, maybe the best holiday he’s ever had.” Sam’s tone softened and he grinned. “It will certainly be the most food he’s ever seen on a table at one time. What better time to share what we have and show him what a real family is like? Isn’t Thanksgiving the perfect day for that?”

  Jessica met his gaze then looked away. Why was it that every time they talked about Darrell, she wound up feeling selfish and mean-spirited and Sam sounded like a finalist for the Nobel Peace Prize? She slipped off her stool and walked across the room to stand opposite him.

  “I know what you’re saying is true,” she said. “But think about it a minute. Is it really the right thing to do? Darrell might enjoy himself for the day and then end up feeling even worse about his life, seeing everything he’s missing out on. I mean, it builds up his hopes, his expectations. Is it fair for you to get so involved with him when it can’t lead anywhere?”

  Sam crossed his arms over his chest. “Why can’t it lead anywhere?”

  Jessica felt flustered by his reply. Was he saying that he wanted them to be even more involved with Darrell?

  She took a breath and tried to speak calmly. “I thought we were starting our own family, Sam, not adopting or becoming foster parents. Besides, we don’t even know what his situation is. Maybe his living arrangements after New Horizons are already settled.”

  Sam stared at her with a moody expression. “Maybe they are. I’ll have to talk to Luke about it. He can tell me.”

  Jessica had no reply to that. How had they even gotten started on this topic? Now she had opened up an entirely new can of worms.

  Sam scooped the cut vegetables into the wok and added a jolt of soy sauce. “Why don’t you set the table and we’ll eat? I’m starving.”

  “Fine.” She rose and pulled some dishes from the cabinet, glad to concentrate on something other than these worrisome issues. She and Sam were clearly at odds when it came to the questions of Darrell Lester and adopting a baby. She knew adoption or fostering were perfect solutions for some couples, but she couldn’t get her mind around either one of them yet. If ever.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “JAMES? YOU DON’T LOOK WELL. IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?”

  James looked up from his desk and found Ben standing beside him. He had been so lost in thought, he hadn’t even heard the older minister approach.

  Ben wasn’t usually around on Monday mornings. That was his time to visit older members of the congregation who were in a nearby nursing home. James hesitated then realized it might be a good thing that Ben had changed his schedule today. He did need someone to talk to.

  “I’ve had some bad news about the mission,” James admitted. “I got a fax this morning. There are some serious problems with the clinic expansion. They haven’t been working for the past three weeks . . . but no one wanted to worry me.”

  Ben took a seat in a leather armchair in front of the desk. “That is bad news. What’s the issue? Is there a problem with the plans?”

  “I only wish. I could fix plans from here. It’s something I can’t manage so easily at this distance. There’s some dispute between the builder we’ve hired and the local authorities. They can shut you down sometimes for no reason at all. It’s just the way the government works there. I’ve always been good at navigating my way around the bureaucrats and their demands. I’ve been there so long, I’ve gotten to know a lot of people who can help us. Sometimes it takes me a while, but I usually find the right door to knock on.”

  “What about the people on your staff that you left in charge? Can’t you tell them who to call or visit?”

  “I guess they tried—or they wouldn’t have brought me in on it. I’ve been gone for almost three months. The political scene there changes quickly. The same bureaucrats who controlled things when I left might not have any influence now.”

  “I see. That does sound tricky,” Ben agreed.

  “I’ve been on the phone for hours, and I’ve accomplished exactly nothing. I don’t know who to call or fax or harangue next.” James pushed aside a pile of papers in frustration. “The building is at a crucial stage. They have to get the roof on and the walls up before the bad weather hits again or all that effort and money will be lost. The place will be washed away.”

  He sat back in his chair and looked up at Ben. “I need to get back there right away. They need my help.”

  Ben took a long breath. “I know the situation sounds very serious, James. But physically, do you really think you’re ready to go back?”

  James gazed out the window as he said, “Yes, I am. I feel fine. Better every day.”

  “When was the last time you checked in with a doctor?”

  James shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know. A few weeks ago, I suppose.”

  “I remember. More like September, just before you got here. That wasn’t very good news, as I recall.”

  “Doctors don’t know everything, Ben. That specialist would be happy if I didn’t go back to Nicaragua at all.”

  Ben’s tone was grave. “He’s a very well known specialist. Maybe you shouldn’t brush off his opinion so quickly. I’ve seen you looking tired lately, James. I know you try to hide it from us, but I think you’ve been rushing yourself to recover. Or at least, to convince everyone that you have. I don’t think you’re ready to go back—not even for an emergency.”

  James picked up a glass paperweight and examined it, as if it might hold the solutions to his problems. Ben’s response wasn’t the one he had been hoping for; in fact, it just seemed to make everything worse. Still, he had to give Ben credit for his honesty. “Well . . . what can I say? I appreciate your advice, Ben. I just don’t happen to agree with it.”

  “I’m saying this as your friend, James, because I care about you. We all do. I know you set high ideals for yourself and I admire that. But you’re not . . . Super Minister.”

  James felt himself cracking a smile despite his low spirits. “I’m not?”

  “Sorry to disappoint you, but no. Don’t try to leap off any tall buildings while you’re in town either. That’s my second bit of advice.”

  Ben sat back in his chair and slipped off his glasses. He carefully cleaned them on a handkerchief.

  “What do you suggest? I just sit here and let the construction site crumble?”

  “Of course not. But I do think you could have a little more faith in the people you’ve left in charge. Give them some guidance, some suggestions. See what they can do.” Ben put his glasses back on and pushed the frames up the ridge of his small, straight nose.

  “I simply don’t think you need to rush back to the mission yet. Not when I consider the gamble you’d be taking—with your recovery, your future health, maybe even your life.”

  The heavy words were hard to accept, but James knew what Ben said was true.

  Ben rose and pushed the chair aside. “Will you at least think about it a little more?”

  James nodded. “Yes, of course I will.”

  “And will you see a doctor and check your progress?” Ben’s tone was quieter but still firm.

  James felt backed into a corner. He didn’t want to lie or mislead Ben, but he dreaded visiting a doctor again. He wasn’t sure what he would do if he were told his condition hadn’t improved.

  Finally, under Ben’s uncompromising gaze, he relented. “I guess I should. Maybe I’ll just check in with Matt Harding here in town, see what he thinks.”
>
  “That’s a good idea. Let me know how it turns out.” Ben stood by the doorway. “Is there anything I can do for you—anything at all I can do to help?”

  James shook his head. “No, but thanks for listening. And for the advice,” he added. “Though it wasn’t what I wanted to hear.”

  Ben smiled gently at him. “I know. But what are friends for?”

  THE CLAM BOX WAS PACKED WITH ITS USUAL LUNCHTIME CROWD. JESSICA glanced around quickly. She saw Tucker Tulley at the counter, eating a bowl of soup and chatting with Charlie Bates, the diner’s owner, while he flipped burgers on the grill.

  At a table in the front, Reverend Ben was having lunch with Digger Hegman. Both men said hello, though Jessica wasn’t entirely sure if Digger always remembered who she was these days.

  Finally, she spotted Emily seated at a booth near the back. Although they both worked on Main Street, with Jessica at the bank and Emily in the village hall, they rarely got together for lunch. But this morning, Emily had called sounding cheerful. Her usual Tuesday afternoon meeting had been canceled and she wanted to take Jessica out for lunch.

  Jessica always found the Clam Box an odd choice for her sister’s favorite restaurant. Charlie Bates was Emily’s archrival and most outspoken critic, using his lunch counter as a soapbox for his political rants. But Jessica knew that in her quiet, dignified way, her sister was a fighter. In fact, she had started to believe that Emily enjoyed coming here just to show Charlie she wasn’t afraid of him and didn’t care a whit what he said about her.

  “You got here early. I’m in shock,” Jessica teased, referring to her sister’s well-earned reputation for always being late. Jessica slipped her suede jacket over the back of her chair and sat down. “This must be important.”

  “Good news. Dan and I figured out our wedding.” Emily sat back and beamed, as if she had just announced the discovery of a cure for the common cold.

  “That is news. Will there be a parade down Main Street?”

  “Seems like there should be after all this haggling, doesn’t it?” Emily picked up a cracker from a basket on the table and took a bite. “Dan won’t agree to anything nearly that grand, though.” She laughed. “I know it sounds sort of ‘Duh . . . so what’s the problem?’ But what we finally agreed to is just a medium, low-key sort of gathering, like a cocktail party with a very strict limit on the guest list.”

  “A strict limit?” Jessica knew her sister. That stipulation was going to be a tough one. “How many?”

  Emily sighed. “Don’t ask. It’s impossible. I’m trying to convince Dan that there are some people in town I have to invite just to be polite, knowing they won’t come—”

  “Did you say polite—or political?”

  “I said polite,” Emily affirmed with a laughing glint in her eye. “He doesn’t get the concept.”

  “Maybe he’ll come around once you show him the list. Have you figured out a date?”

  “Not yet. Very soon, though. That was another stipulation. The only way I got him to go along with it was by promising I could pull it together before our trip.” Emily sighed. “Who can plan a nice wedding in that amount of time? It’s just insane.”

  Jessica patted her sister’s hand. “I think it’s sweet that he’s so eager to marry you and whisk you off to a tropical island. It’s very romantic.”

  “Yes, it is, isn’t it?” Emily smiled again, her eyes getting a little dreamy looking, Jessica thought with amusement; that was so unlike her no-nonsense older sister. “Dan can be very romantic, but don’t let it get around. He likes everyone to think he’s a real curmudgeon.”

  “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t want to ruin his image. So where do you want to have the party? The Pequot Inn is charming. I think they even have a private room upstairs with a fireplace.”

  “That is a pretty place. But I go to so many political functions there. It would just feel like another Rotary Club meeting to me.” Emily slipped on her reading glasses and scanned the menu.

  “How about having it at our house? I know Sam wouldn’t mind. He’d love the idea.”

  Emily looked up and smiled at her. “You’re so sweet. . . . You’d really do that for me?”

  “Of course I would. I’d love to.” Preparing for Emily’s wedding would also provide the perfect distraction from her baby-making worries, Jessica realized. “It would be fun.”

  “I love your house. It would be perfect if I can keep the guest list down. I’m going to ask Molly if she can cater it for us. I was afraid she’d refuse if the party was at Mother’s.”

  Jessica answered Emily’s grin. Emily’s engagement party had been held at their mother’s house and Molly had catered it, battling with Lillian every inch of the way. Molly had come through gallantly, but Jessica doubted her sister-in-law would agree to repeat that experience.

  Lucy Bates appeared at the table. “Good to see you, ladies. Want to hear the specials?”

  “I think we’re set,” Jessica said.

  “Just what I like: decisive customers.” She laughed and pulled her order pad out of her apron pocket.

  Jessica ordered her usual, a turkey sandwich on rye. Lucy nodded. “No pickle, extra cole slaw.”

  “You got it.” Jessica smiled up at her. Lucy was so upbeat and friendly, the complete opposite of her husband. It amazed Jessica that the two had remained married all these years, though everyone knew Lucy had already left Charlie once.

  Emily started off ordering the fried clam roll, then deducted the roll and finally ended up with a salad.

  “Lucy, order up. What are you doing over there, having a coffee klatch?”

  Lucy glanced over her shoulder at her husband, who glowered at her from his post at the grill. She turned back to Jessica and Emily, rolling her eyes. “It’s called being pleasant to the customers,” she mumbled under her breath.

  “Be right back with your order,” she added as she scurried away.

  Once Lucy left, Emily said, “That’s another thing. I don’t even have time to lose a few pounds.”

  “Don’t be silly. You look great.”

  “I’m well past forty and I’ll have to wear a bathing suit in February. And gravity isn’t doing me any favors, either.”

  Jessica laughed. “You’ll be alone on a tropical island with a man who adores you. Just wear one of those wrap things over your suit. He’ll think you look exotic.”

  “Words of wisdom from a happily married woman.” Emily grinned and picked up another cracker. “So, how are things? What’s new?”

  “Oh, nothing much.” Jessica shrugged but could tell from Emily’s discerning gaze her sister wasn’t buying it. “We went to a new doctor last week. He put me on some pills he says should help.”

  “That’s encouraging.”

  “I guess so. I don’t want to get my hopes up, though.”

  “How’s Sam? Does he feel discouraged, too?”

  “Somewhat. But not as much as I do. He has Darrell to distract him now, which is good in some ways and not so good in others.”

  Emily looked curiously at her as she slipped off her reading glasses. “I can see the benefits of it. Sam has so much, well, love to give. New Horizons is lucky to have him there, and Darrell is lucky Sam’s singled him out. But what’s the bad side? Do you feel Sam’s not giving you enough attention?”

  It was hard to admit but perhaps that was part of her problem, Jessica realized. But it wasn’t all of it. “I’m not really sure,” she said honestly. “Maybe it’s that I lost the baby and”—her voice faltered but she forced herself to continue—“and the next thing I know, Sam’s bonding with this kid and bringing him into our lives and expecting me to care about him. And he never even asked me.” She pressed a hand over her mouth, appalled by the resentment in her own voice. “You must think I’m a horrible person and—”

  “I have never thought anything of the sort,” Emily said firmly, “and I’ve known you since you were born. Jess, what you just said—it’s not unreasonable that y
ou’re upset. Have you told Sam this stuff?”

  Jessica shook her head and swallowed hard. “No. I just figured it out. All I’ve known is that I’ve been uncomfortable with Darrell, and I couldn’t understand why. He’s really not a bad kid. It just seems that ever since Sam took him under his wing, there’s been all this tension. Sam really wants us to get along. He even tried taking us all out for a day at this indoor sports complex—which to me was an automatic migraine.” Emily gave her sister a sympathetic glance, and Jessica went on. “I really have tried to get along with Darrell, despite what happened at Mother’s house. But I can’t seem to do anything right around him. The boy just doesn’t like me, and Sam can’t see it. If anything, he thinks it’s my fault.”

  Emily sighed. “That’s pretty hard. Especially when you’re both so focused on this pregnancy issue.”

  “I think it’s great for Sam to help Darrell,” Jessica finished, her voice growing steadier as the situation finally became clear to her. “But maybe it’s also a way for Sam to avoid worrying about our problem.”

  Emily took a sip of her coffee. “Do you think it will help you get pregnant faster if you’re both worrying?”

  “No, of course not.” Jessica tucked a loose strand of her long hair behind her ear. “But we just don’t seem to be on the same track anymore about all this stuff. The other day, we somehow got onto the topic of adoption, which I suppose is an option if all else fails. But I’m not ready to consider that yet. Then, a few minutes later, Sam is talking about taking in Darrell as a foster child. It’s like some huge snowball heading down a big hill at me and I can’t do anything to stop it. When I try to be honest with Sam about it, I sound like a heartless, selfish monster. Is it wrong to just want my own baby right now?”

  Emily’s expression softened. “There’s nothing in the world wrong with that, Jess. And you’re the last person I’d call a heartless monster. Sam knows that. He loves you very much.” Emily sat back in her seat. “You’re in a tough spot. Maybe you should just wait and see. You never know. You might start to like Darrell better and see what Sam sees in him. Or maybe you’ll get pregnant and Sam will get more focused on you and his own baby.”