Mr. Midshipman Easy

by Frederick Marryat

  CHAPTER THIRTY SIX.

  IN WHICH JACK TAKES UP THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ARGUMENT, AND PROVES THATHE CAN ARGUE AS WELL ON ONE SIDE AS THE OTHER.

  This scene may give some idea of the state of Mr Easy's household uponour hero's arrival. The poor lunatic, for such we must call him, was atthe mercy of his servants, who robbed, laughed at, and neglected him.The waste and expense were enormous. Our hero, who found how mattersstood, went to bed, and lay the best part of the night revolving what todo. He determined to send for Dr Middleton, and consult him.

  The next morning Jack rose early; Mesty was in the room, with warmwater, as soon as he rang.

  "By de power, Massa Easy, your fader very silly old man."

  "I'm afraid so," replied Jack.

  "He not right here," observed Mesty, putting his fingers to his head.

  Jack sighed, and desired Mesty to send one of the grooms up to the door.When the man knocked he desired him to mount a horse and ride over toDr Middleton, and request his immediate attendance.

  The man, who was really a good servant, replied, "Yes, sir," veryrespectfully, and hastened away.

  Jack went down to breakfast, and found it all ready, but his father wasnot in the room: he went to his study, and found him occupied with acarpenter who was making a sort of a frame as the model of the platformor dais to be raised under the wonderful invention. Mr Easy was sobusy that he could not come to breakfast, so Jack took his atone. Anhour after this Dr Middleton's carriage drove up to the door. Thedoctor heartily greeted our hero.

  "My dear sir--for so I suppose I must now call you--I am heartily gladthat you have returned. I can assure you that it is not a moment toosoon."

  "I have found that out already, doctor," replied Jack: "sit down. Haveyou breakfasted?"

  "No, I have not; for I was so anxious to see you, that I ordered mycarriage at once."

  "Then sit down, doctor, and we will talk over matters quietly."

  "You, of course, perceive the state of your father. He has been sometime quite unfit to manage his own affairs."

  "So I am afraid."

  "What do you intend to do then--put them in the hands of trustees?"

  "I will be trustee for myself, Dr Middleton. I could not do the otherwithout submitting my poor father to a process and confinement which Icannot think of."

  "I can assure you that there are not many in Bedlam worse than he is;but I perfectly agree with you; that is, if he will consent to yourtaking charge of the property."

  "A power of attorney will be all that is requisite," replied Jack; "thatis, as soon as I have rid the house of the set of miscreants who are init, and who are now in open mutiny."

  "I think," replied the doctor, "that you will have some trouble. Youknow the character of the butler."

  "Yes, I have it from my father's own mouth. I really should take it asa great favour, Dr Middleton, if you could stay here a day or two. Iknow that you have retired from practice."

  "I would have made the same offer, my young friend. I will come herewith two of my servants; for you must discharge these."

  "I have one of my own who is worth his weight in gold--that will besufficient. I will dismiss every man you think I ought, and as for thewomen, we can give them warning, and replace them at leisure."

  "That is exactly what I should propose," replied the doctor. "I willnow go, if you please, procure the assistance of a couple of constables,and also of your father's former, legal adviser, who shall prepare apower of attorney."

  "Yes," replied Jack, "and we must then find out the tenants who refuseto pay upon the principles of equality, and he shall serve them withnotice immediately."

  "I am rejoiced, my dear young friend, to perceive that your father'sabsurd notions have not taken root."

  "They lasted some time nevertheless, doctor," replied Jack, laughing.

  "Well then, I will only quit you for an hour or two, and then, as youwish it, will take up my quarters here as long as you find me useful."

  In the forenoon, Dr Middleton again made his appearance, accompanied byMr Hanson, the solicitor, bringing with him his portmanteau and hisservants. Mr Easy had come into the parlour, and was at breakfast whenthey entered. He received them very coolly; but a little judiciouspraise of the wonderful invention had its due effect; and after Jack hadreminded him of his promise that in future he was to control thehousehold, he was easily persuaded to sign the order for his so doing--that is, the power of attorney.

  Mr Easy also gave up to Jack the key of his secretary, and Mr Hansonpossessed himself of the books, papers, and receipts necessary toascertain the state of his affairs, and the rents which had not yet beenpaid up. In the meantime the constables arrived. The servants were allsummoned; Mr Hanson showed them the power of attorney empowering Jackto act for his father, and in less than half an hour afterwards all themen-servants, but two grooms, were dismissed: the presence of theconstables and Mesty prevented any resistance, but not without variousthreats on the part of the butler, whose name was O'Rourke. Thus, intwenty-four hours, Jack had made a reformation in the household.

  Mr Easy took no notice of anything; he returned to his study and hiswonderful invention. Mesty had received the keys of the cellar, and hadnow complete control over those who remained. Dr Middleton, MrHanson, Mr Easy, and Jack, sat down to dinner, and everything wore theappearance of order and comfort. Mr Easy ate very heartily, but saidnothing till after dinner, when, as was his usual custom, he commencedarguing upon the truth and soundness of his philosophy.

  "By-the-bye, my dear son, if I recollect right, you told me last nightthat you were no longer of my opinion. Now, if you please, we willargue this point."

  "I'll argue the point with all my heart, sir," replied Jack; "will youbegin?"

  "Let's fill our glasses," cried Mr Easy triumphantly; "let's fill ourglasses, and then I will bring Jack back to the proper way of thinking.Now then, my son, I trust you will not deny that we were all bornequal."

  "I do deny it, sir," replied Jack; "I deny it _in toto_--I deny it fromthe evidence of our own senses, and from the authority of Scripture. Tosuppose all men were born equal is to suppose that they are equallyendowed with the same strength and with the same capacity of mind, whichwe know is not the case. I deny it from Scripture, from which I couldquote many passages; but I will restrict myself to one--the parable ofthe Talents: `To one he gave five talents, to another but one,' holdingthem responsible for the trust reposed in them. We are all intended tofill various situations in society, and are provided by Heavenaccordingly."

  "That may be," replied Mr Easy; "but that does not prove that the earthwas not intended to be equally distributed among all alike."

  "I beg your pardon; the proof that that was not the intention ofProvidence is that that equality, allowing it to be put in practice,could never be maintained."

  "Not maintained!--no, because the strong oppress the weak, tyrants riseup and conquer--men combine to do wrong."

  "Not so, my dear father; I say it could not be maintained without theorganisation of each individual had been equalised and several otherpoints established. For instance, allowing that every man had, _aborigine_, a certain portion of ground, he who was the strongest or thecleverest would soon cause his to yield more than others would, and thusthe equality be destroyed. Again, if one couple had ten children, andanother had none, then again would equality be broken in upon, as theland that supports two in the one instance, would have to feed twelve inthe other. You perceive, therefore, that without rapine or injusticeyour equality could not be preserved."

  "But, Jack, allowing that there might be some diversity from suchcauses, that would be a very different thing from the present monstrousstate of society, in which we have kings, and lords, and people, rollingin wealth, while others are in a state of pauperism, and obliged tosteal for their daily bread."

  "My dear father, I consider that it is to this inequality that societyowes its firmest cementation, that we are enabled to
live in peace andhappiness, protected by just laws, each doing his duty in that state oflife to which he is called, rising above or sinking in the scale ofsociety according as he has been entrusted with the five talents or theone. Equality can and does exist nowhere. We are told that it does notexist in heaven itself--how can it exist upon earth?"

  "But that is only asserted, Jack, and it is not proof that it ought notto exist."

  "Let us argue the point, father, coolly. Let us examine a little whatwould be the effect if all was equality. Were all equal in beauty,there would be no beauty, for beauty is only by comparison--were allequal in strength, conflicts would be interminable--were all equal inrank, and power, and possessions, the greatest charms of existence wouldbe destroyed--generosity, gratitude, and half the finer virtues would beunknown. The first principle of our religion, charity, could not bepractised--pity would never be called forth--benevolence, your greatorgan, would be useless, and self-denial a blank letter. Were all equalin ability, there would be no instruction, no talent--no genius--nothingto admire, nothing to copy, to respect--nothing to rouse emulation orstimulate to praiseworthy ambition. Why, my dear father, what an idle,unprofitable, weary world would this be, if it were based on equality!"

  "But, allowing all that, Jack," replied Mr Easy, "and I will say youargue well in a bad cause, why should the inequality be carried so far?king and lords, for instance."

  "The most lasting and imperishable form of building is that of thepyramid, which defies ages, and to that may the most perfect form ofsociety be compared. It is based upon the many, and rising by degrees,it becomes less as wealth, talent, and rank increase in the individual,until it ends at the apex, or monarch, above all. Yet each severalstone from the apex to the base is necessary for the preservation of thestructure, and fulfils its duty in its allotted place. Could you provethat those at the summit possess the greatest share of happiness in thisworld, then, indeed, you have a position to argue on; but it is wellknown that such is not the case; and, provided he is of a contentedmind, the peasant is more happy than the king, surrounded as the latteris by cares and anxiety."

  "Very well argued indeed, my dear sir," observed Dr Middleton.

  "But, my dear boy, there are other states of society than monarchy; wehave republics and despotisms."

  "We have, but how long do they last, compared to the first? There is acycle in the changes which never varies. A monarchy may be overthrownby a revolution, and republicanism succeed, but that is shortly followedby despotism, till, after a time, monarchy succeeds again by unanimousconsent, as the most legitimate and equitable form of government; but innone of these do you find a single advance to equality. In a republicthose who govern are more powerful than the rulers in a restrictedmonarchy--a president is greater than a king, and next to a despot,whose will is law. Even in small societies you find that some willnaturally take the lead and assume domination. We commence the systemat school, when we are first thrown into society, and there we aretaught systems of petty tyranny. There are some few points in which wecan obtain equality in this world, and that equality can only beobtained under a well-regulated form of society, and consists in anequal administration of justice and of laws to which we have agreed tosubmit for the benefit of the whole--the equal right to live and not bepermitted to starve, which has been obtained in this country. And whenwe are all called to account, we shall have equal justice. Now, my dearfather, you have my opinion."

  "Yes, my dear, this is all very well in the abstract; but how does itwork?"

  "It works well. The luxury, the pampered state, the idleness--if youplease, the wickedness of the rich, all contribute to the support, thecomfort, and employment of the poor. You may behold extravagance--it isa vice; but that very extravagance circulates money, and the vice of onecontributes to the happiness of many. The only vice which is notredeemed by producing commensurate good, is avarice. If all were equalthere would be no arts, no manufactures, no industry, no employment. Asit is, the inequality of the distribution of wealth may be compared tothe heart, pouring forth the blood like a steam-engine through the humanframe, the same blood returning from the extremities by the veins, to beagain propelled, and keep up a healthy and vigorous circulation."

  "Bravo, Jack!" said Dr Middleton. "Have you anything to reply, sir?"continued he, addressing Mr Easy.

  "To reply, sir?" replied Mr Easy with scorn, "why, he has not given mehalf an argument yet--why, that black servant even laughs at him--lookat him there, showing his teeth. Can he forget the horrors of slavery?can he forget the base unfeeling lash?--no, sir, he has suffered, and hecan estimate the divine right of equality. Ask him now, ask him if youdare, Jack, whether he will admit the truth of your argument."

  "Well, I'll ask him," replied Jack, "and I tell you candidly that he wasonce one of your disciples. Mesty, what's your opinion of equality?"

  "Equality, Massa Easy?" replied Mesty, pulling up his cravat; "I saydamn equality, now I major domo."

  "The rascal deserves to be a slave all his life."

  "True, I ab been slave--but I a prince in my own country--Massa Easytell how many skulls I have."

  "Skulls--skulls--do you know anything of the sublime science; are you aphrenologist?"

  "I know man's skull very well in Ashantee country, anyhow."

  "Then if you know that, you must be one. I had no idea that the sciencehad extended so far--maybe it was brought from thence. I will have sometalk with you to-morrow. This is very curious, Dr Middleton, is itnot?"

  "Very, indeed, Mr Easy."

  "I shall feel his head to-morrow after breakfast, and if there isanything wrong I shall correct it with my machine. By-the-bye, I havequite forgot, gentlemen; you will excuse me, but I wish to see what thecarpenter has done for me, and after that I shall attend the meeting ofthe society. Jack, my boy, won't you come and hear my speech."

  "Thank you, sir, but I cannot well leave your friends."

  Mr Easy quitted the room.

  "Are you aware, my dear sir, that your father has opened his preservesto all the poachers?" said Mr Hanson.

  "The devil he has!"

  "Yes, he has allowed several gangs of gipsies to locate themselves inhis woods, much to the annoyance of the neighbourhood, who suffer fromtheir depredations," continued Dr Middleton.

  "I find, by the receipts and books, that there is nearly two years'rental of the estate due; some tenants have paid up in full, others notfor four years. I reckon fourteen thousand pounds still in arrear."

  "You will oblige me by taking immediate steps, Mr Hanson, for therecovery of the sums due."

  "Most certainly, Mr John. I trust your father will not commit himselfto-night as he has done lately."

  When they rose to retire Dr Middleton took our hero by the hand. "Youdo not know, my dear fellow, what pleasure it gives me to find that, inspite of the doting of your mother and the madness of your father, youhave turned out so well. It is very fortunate that you have come home;I trust you will now give up the profession."

  "I have given it up, sir; which, by-the-bye, reminds me that I have notapplied for either my discharge or that of my servant; but I cannotspare time yet, so I shall not report myself."