Mr. Midshipman Easy

by Frederick Marryat

  CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN.

  IN WHICH OUR HERO FINDS HIMSELF AN ORPHAN, AND RESOLVES TO GO TO SEAAGAIN, WITHOUT THE SMALLEST IDEA OF EQUALITY.

  The next morning, when they met at breakfast, Mr Easy did not make hisappearance, and Jack inquired of Mesty where he was?

  "They say down below that the old gentleman not come home last night."

  "Did not come home!" said Dr Middleton, "this must be looked to."

  "He great rascal dat butler man," said Mesty to Jack; "but de oldgentleman not sleep in his bed, dat for sure."

  "Make inquiries when he went out," said Jack.

  "I hope no accident has happened," observed Mr Hanson; "but his companyhas lately been very strange."

  "Nobody see him go out, sar, last night," reported Mesty.

  "Very likely he is in his study," observed Dr Middleton; "he may haveremained all night, fast asleep, by his wonderful invention."

  "I'll go and see," replied Jack.

  Dr Middleton accompanied him, and Mesty followed. They opened, thedoor, and beheld a spectacle which made them recoil with horror. Therewas Mr Easy, with his head in the machine, the platform below fallenfrom under him, hanging, with his toes just touching the ground. DrMiddleton hastened to him, and, assisted by Mesty and our hero, took himout of the steel collar which was round his neck; but life had beenextinct for many hours, and, on examination, it was found that the poorold gentleman's neck was dislocated.

  It was surmised that the accident must have taken place the eveningbefore, and it was easy to account for it. Mr Easy, who had had themachine raised four feet higher, for the platform and steps to be placedunderneath, must have mounted on the frame modelled by the carpenter forhis work, and have fixed his head in, for the knob was pressed on hisbump of benevolence. The framework, hastily put together with a fewshort nails, had given way with his weight, and the sudden fall haddislocated his neck.

  Mr Hanson led away our hero, who was much shocked at this unfortunateand tragical end of his poor father, while Dr Middleton ordered thebody to be taken up into a bedroom, and immediately despatched amessenger to the coroner of the county. Poor Mr Easy had told his sonbut the day before that he felt convinced that this wonderful inventionwould immortalise him, and so it had, although not exactly in the sensethat he anticipated.

  We must pass over the few days of sorrow, and closed shutters, whichalways are given to these scenes. The coroner's inquest and the funeralover, daylight was again admitted, our hero's spirits revived, and hefound himself in possession of a splendid property, and his own master.

  He was not of age, it is true, for he wanted nine months; but on openingthe will of his father, he found that Dr Middleton was his soleguardian. Mr Hanson, on examining and collecting the papers, whichwere in the greatest confusion, discovered bank-notes in differentcorners, and huddled up with bills and receipts, to the amount of twothousand pounds, and further, a cheque signed by Captain Wilson on hisbanker, for the thousand pounds advanced by Mr Easy, dated more thanfifteen months back.

  Dr Middleton wrote to the Admiralty, informing them that family affairsnecessitated Mr John Easy, who had been left at sick quarters, to leavehis Majesty's service, requesting his discharge from it forthwith. TheAdmiralty was graciously pleased to grant the request, and lose theservices of a midshipman. The Admiralty were also pleased to grant thedischarge of Mesty, on the sum required for a substitute being paid in.

  The gipsies were routed out of their abodes, and sent once more towander. The gamekeepers were restored, the preserves cleared of allpoachers, and the gentry of the county were not a little pleased atJack's succession, for they had wished that Mr Easy's neck had beenbroken long ago. The societies were dissolved, since, now that Mr Easypaid no longer for the beer, there was nothing to meet for. Cards andcompliments were sent from all parts of the county, and every one wasanxious that our hero should come of age, as then he would be able tomarry, to give dinners, subscribe to the fox-hounds, and live as agentleman ought to do.

  But, during all these speculations, Jack had made Dr Middletonacquainted with the history of his amour with Agnes de Rebiera, and allparticulars connected therewith, also with his determination to go outto bring her home as his wife. Dr Middleton saw no objection to thematch, and he perceived that our hero was sincere. And Jack had madeinquiries when the packet would sail for Malta, when Mesty, who stoodbehind his chair, observed:

  "Packet bad vessel, Massa Easy. Why not go out in man-of-war?"

  "Very true," replied Jack; "but you know, Mesty, that is not so easy."

  "And den how come home, sar. Suppose you and Missy Agnes takenprisoner--put in prison?"

  "Very true," replied Jack; "and as for a passage home in a man-of-warthat will be more difficult still."

  "Den I tink, sar, suppose you buy one fine vessel--plenty of guns--takeout letter of marque--plenty of men, and bring Missy Agnes home like alady. You captain of your own ship."

  "That deserves consideration, Mesty," replied Jack, who thought of itduring that night; and the next day resolved to follow Mesty's advice.The Portsmouth paper lay on the breakfast-table. Jack took it up, andhis eye was caught by an advertisement for the sale of the _Joan d'Arc_,prize to H.M. ship _Thetis_, brigantine of 278 tons, copper-bottomed,armed _en flute_, with all her stores, spars, sails, running andstanding rigging, then lying in the harbour of Portsmouth, to take placeon the following Wednesday.

  Jack rang the bell, and ordered post-horses.

  "Where are you going, my dear boy?" inquired Dr Middleton.

  "To Portsmouth, doctor."

  "And pray what for, if not an impertinent question?"

  Jack then gave Dr Middleton an insight into his plan, and requestedthat he would allow him to do so, as there was plenty of ready-money.

  "But the expense will be enormous."

  "It will be heavy, sir, I grant; but I have calculated it pretty nearly,and I shall not spend at the rate of more than my income. Besides, asletter of marque, I shall have the right of capture; in fact, I mean totake out a privateer's regular licence."

  "But not to remain there and cruise?"

  "No, upon my honour; I am too anxious to get home again. You must notrefuse me, my dear guardian."

  "As a lady is in the case, I will not, my dear boy; but be careful whatyou are about."

  "Never fear, sir, I will be back in four months, at the furthest; but Imust now set off and ascertain if the vessel answers the descriptiongiven in the advertisement."

  Jack threw himself into the chariot. Mesty mounted into the rumble, andin two hours they were at Portsmouth; went to the agent, viewed thevessel, which proved to be a very fine fast-sailing craft, well found,with six brass carronades on each side. The cabins were handsome,fitted up with bird's-eye maple and gilt mouldings.

  This will do, thought Jack; a couple of long brass nines, forty men andsix boys, and she will be just the thing we require. So Mesty and Jackwent on shore again, and returned to Forest Hill to dinner, when hedesired Mr Hanson to set off for Portsmouth, and bid at the sale forthe vessel, as he wished to purchase her. This was Monday, and onWednesday Mr Hanson purchased her, as she stood, for 1750 pounds, whichwas considered about half her value.

  Dr Middleton had, in the meantime, been thinking very seriously ofJack's project. He could see no objection to it, provided that he wassteady and prudent, but in both these qualities Jack had not exactlybeen tried. He therefore determined to look out for some steady navallieutenant, and make it a _sine qua non_ that our hero should beaccompanied by him, and that he should go out as sailing-master. Nowthat the vessel was purchased, he informed Jack of his wish; indeed, asDr Middleton observed, his duty as guardian demanded this precaution,and our hero, who felt very grateful to Dr Middleton, immediatelyacquiesced.

  "And, by-the-bye, doctor, see that he is a good navigator; for althoughI can fudge a day's work pretty well, latterly I have been out ofpractice."

  Every one was now busy. Jack and Mest
y at Portsmouth, fitting out thevessel, and offering three guineas a head to the crimps for every goodable seaman--Mr Hanson obtaining the English register, and the lettersof licence, and Dr Middleton in search of a good naval dry-nurse. Jackfound time to write to Don Philip and Agnes, apprising them of the deathof his father, and his intentions.

  In about six weeks all was ready, and the brigantine, which had takenout her British register and licence under the name of the _Rebiera_,went out of harbour, and anchored at Spithead. Dr Middleton hadprocured, as he thought, a very fit person to sail with Jack, and ourhero and Mesty embarked, wishing the doctor and solicitor good-bye, andleaving them nothing to do but to pay the bills.

  The person selected by Dr Middleton, by the advice of an old friend ofhis, a purser in the navy who lived at Southsea, was a LieutenantOxbelly, who, with the ship's company, which had been collected,received our hero as their captain and owner upon his arrival on board.There certainly was no small contrast between our hero's active slightfigure and handsome person, set-off with a blue coat, something like thepresent yacht-club uniform, and that of his second in command, whowaddled to the side to receive him. He was a very short man, with anuncommon protuberance of stomach, with shoulders and arms too short forhis body, and hands much too large, more like the paws of a Polar bearthan anything else. He wore trousers, shoes, and buckles. On his headwas a foraging cap, which, when he took it off, showed that he was quitebald. His age might be about fifty-five or sixty; his complexionflorid, no whiskers and little beard, nose straight, lips thin, teethblack with chewing, and always a little brown dribble from the leftcorner of his mouth (there was a leak there, he said). Altogether hiscountenance was prepossessing, for it was honest and manly, but hiswaist was preposterous.

  "Steady enough," thought Jack, as he returned Mr Oxbelly's salute.

  "How do you do, sir?" said Jack, "I trust we shall be good shipmates,"for Jack had not seen him before.

  "Mr Easy," replied the lieutenant, "I never quarrel with any one,except (I won't tell a story) with my wife."

  "I am sorry that you have ever domestic dissensions, Mr Oxbelly."

  "And I only quarrel with her at night, sir. She will take up more thanher share of the bed, and won't allow me to sleep single; but never mindthat, sir; now will you please to muster the men?"

  "If you please, Mr Oxbelly."

  The men were mustered, and Jack made them a long speech uponsubordination, discipline, activity, duty, and so forth.

  "A very good speech, Mr Easy," said Mr Oxbelly, as the men wentforward; "I wish my wife had heard it. But, sir, if you please, we'llnow get under way as fast as we can, for there is a Channel cruiserworking up at St. Helen's, and we may give him the go-by by runningthrough the Needles."

  "But what need we care for the Channel cruiser?"

  "You forget, sir, that as soon as she drops her anchor she will come onboard and take a fancy to at least ten of our men."

  "But they are protected."

  "Yes, sir, but that's no protection nowadays. I have sailed in aprivateer at least three years, and I know that they have no respect forletters of marque or for privateers."

  "I believe you are right, Mr Oxbelly, so if you please we will up withthe anchor at once."

  The crew of the _Rebiera_ had been well chosen; they were primemen-of-war's men, most of whom had deserted from the various ships onthe station, and, of course, were most anxious to be off. In a fewminutes the _Rebiera_ was under way with all sail set below and aloft.She was in excellent trim, and flew through the water; the wind wasfair, and by night they had passed Portland Lights, and the next morningwere steering a course for the Bay of Biscay without having encounteredwhat they feared more than an enemy--a British cruiser to overhaul them.

  "I think we shall do now, sir," observed Mr Oxbelly to our hero; "wehave made a famous run. It's twelve o'clock, and if you please I'llwork the latitude and let you know what it is. We must shape our courseso as not to run in with the Brest squadron. A little more westing,sir. I'll be up in one minute. My wife--but I'll tell you about thatwhen I come up.

  "Latitude 41 degrees 12 minutes, sir. I was about to say that my wife,when she was on board of the privateer that I commanded--"

  "Board of the privateer, Mr Oxbelly?"

  "Yes, sir, would go; told her it was impossible, but she wouldn't listento reason--came on board, flopped herself into the standing bed-place,and said that there she was for the cruise--little Billy with her--"

  "What! your child, too?"

  "Yes, two years old--fine boy--always laughed when the guns were fired,while his mother stood on the ladder and held him on the top of thebooby-hatch."

  "I wonder that Mrs Oxbelly let you come here now?"

  "So you would, sir, but I'll explain that--she thinks I'm in Londonabout my half-pay. She knows all by this time, and frets, I don'tdoubt; but that will make her thin, and then there will be more room inthe bed. Mrs Oxbelly is a very stout woman."

  "Why you are not a little man!"

  "No, not little--tending to be lusty, as the saying is--that is, in goodcondition. It's very strange that Mrs Oxbelly has an idea that she isnot large. I cannot persuade her to it. That's the reason we alwaysspar in bed. She says it is I, and I know that it is she, who takes thelargest share of it."

  "Perhaps you may both be right."

  "No, no, it is she who creates all the disturbance. If I get nearer tothe wall she jams me up till I am as thin as a thread-paper. If I puther inside and stay outside, she cuts me out as you do a cask, by thechine, till I tumble out of bed."

  "Why don't you make your bed larger, Mr Oxbelly?"

  "Sir, I have proposed, but my wife will have it that the bed is largeenough if I would not toss in my sleep. I can't convince her. However,she'll have it all to herself now. I slept well last night, for thefirst time since I left the _Boadicea_."

  "The _Boadicea_?"

  "Yes, sir, I was second lieutenant of the _Boadicea_ for three years."

  "She's a fine frigate, I'm told."

  "On the contrary, such a pinched-up little craft below I never saw.Why, Mr Easy, I could hardly get into the door of my cabin--and yet, asyou must see, I'm not a large man."

  "Good heavens! is it possible," thought Jack, "that this man does notreally know that he is monstrous?"

  Yet such was the case. Mr Oxbelly had no idea that he was otherwisethan in good condition, although he had probably not seen his knees foryears. It was his obesity that was the great objection to him, for inevery other point there was nothing against him. He had, upon onepretence and another, been shifted, by the manoeuvres of the captains,out of different ships, until he went up to the Admiralty to know ifthere was any charge against him. The First Lord at once perceived thecharge to be preferred, and made a mark against his name as not fit foranything but harbour duty. Out of employment, he had taken the commandof a privateer cutter, when his wife who was excessively fond, would, ashe said, follow him with little Billy. He was sober, steady, knew hisduty well; but he weighed twenty-six stone, and his weight had swampedhim in the service.

  His wish, long indulged, had become, as Shakespeare says, the father ofhis thought, and he had really at last brought himself to think that hewas not by any means what could be considered a fat man. His wife, ashe said, was also a very stout woman, and this exuberance of flesh onboth sides, was the only, but continual, ground of dispute.