The Heart of a Girl (The Haven Series)

by Kaitlyn Oruska

  “It’s a long story,” I replied, realizing there was nothing I wanted to do less than get into it again. “They’re for Hannah.”

  “What about Hannah?”

  Wordlessly, I handed him the envelope. He opened it and rifled through the pages, frowning. “Who is David Johnson?”

  “Her father.”

  “But I thought…”

  “Yeah, we all thought he wasn’t in the picture and was never going to be,” I said. Sitting back down on the couch, I relayed the entire story to Adam, who listened closely and looked shocked when I was finished.

  “Nora is worse than I thought,” he remarked.

  “Yeah, she is. She’ll be lucky if Hannah ever wants to talk to her again after all this.”

  “I wouldn’t. I hate to say it, but I’m really glad you got away from them. I wouldn’t want Harper having your dad, Nora, or Lila as grandparents.”

  Even though he had every right in the world to say that, it stung. I frowned at him.

  “But they are her grandparents. At least my dad and Lila are. We can’t change that.”

  “No, but we don’t have to let her around them either.”

  “My dad’s back now, Adam, and he told me yesterday that he wanted to be a part of Harper’s life. I’m not going to deny either of them that.”

  “Yesterday?” He asked. “When did you see him yesterday? He wasn’t at the barbeque.”

  “I stopped at Bella Vista before I came back home,” I replied. “I didn’t bother saying anything because I got back before you anyway.” Adam had been gone when I’d gotten back from Bella Vista and I’d assumed he’d driven Brad and Clay home.

  “Well it would have been nice to know where you were,” he snapped. I stared at him in surprise.

  “I just went to talk to Hannah, Adam. It wasn’t a big deal.”

  “You never tell me anything anymore,” he said. “All this happening with Hannah and you don’t mention a word of it until my dad comes over and you have no choice. Whatever happened to the days when you told me everything?”

  I stared at him, surprised by how angry he seemed about all of this. I hadn’t told him about Hannah because honestly I didn’t think he would care all that much. He’d gone through enough of our family drama when I was pregnant. I assumed he wanted out of it completely.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, even though I wasn’t entirely sure what I was sorry for. “I didn’t think it mattered. But for the record, Mason isn’t going back to Delaware anytime soon. I just found out yesterday and it kind of slipped my mind with all this stuff going on with Hannah so that’s why I didn’t tell you.”

  I waited for Adam to ask why Mason was staying, but he didn’t. His eyes were focused ahead on absolutely nothing. I reached out to touch his hand, and he jumped slightly.

  “Sorry,” he apologized. “I guess I just get myself worked up, thinking about your family and everything we had to go through last year. I don’t want to go through that again and more than anything I don’t want you or Harper going through it.”

  “We won’t,” I promised him. “I’m going to call Hannah and let her know I got this information. Do you want me to put her on speakerphone, so we can tell her together? She’s going to be so excited.”

  Adam smiled but shook his head. “Nah, I’m actually about to head out. One of my friends is leaving tomorrow and I promised I’d stop by and say my goodbyes tonight.”

  “Who?” I asked, surprised.

  “You don’t know them,” he replied and got up, preparing to leave. I didn’t bother mentioning to him that it was already after eight o’clock. He kissed me quickly on the cheek before disappearing and I could hear the sound of his car starting and then leading him away from me.

  I hit Hannah’s speed dial number on my cell phone, telling myself that whatever Adam was doing and wherever he was going, it didn’t matter. He was allowed to have friends, even ones that didn’t come with names. It had nothing to do with the two hour pizza mission the week before and absolutely nothing to do with his personality change midway through summer.

  Hannah picked up on the third ring and skipping the hello, I told her the news. “We have an address,” I said and the excited squeal on the other end of the line made me forget about Adam almost entirely.

  Chapter 11

  Saturday was the day Hannah and I chose to begin our own investigation into David Johnson and who he really was. I packed up Harper’s diaper bag, put her in her baby sling, and just after noon the three of us boarded a bus heading downtown.

  “My mom said he was remarried,” Hannah said nervously. “I wonder what his new wife is like and if she even knows I exist. Or if she has any kids. Or if they have kids, together. Or if they’re planning on it. Oh my God Lainey, I could have a brother or a sister. I mean, besides you and Mason. I could actually share blood with someone else.” Her eyes were growing wider by the moment.

  “Maybe,” I agreed with a laugh. “Would that be good or bad?”

  “I have no idea, but I think good. I mean, it might be fun to have more siblings. It’s not like I’d have to share anything with them other than a dad, you know? Unless he wanted me to come live with him. I have no idea if I could do that.”

  “Don’t worry about it until it happens,” I urged her. The address Ned received was in South Carolina and the last thing I wanted to imagine was Hannah packing her bags once again. But this wasn’t about me. I knew when she got into contact with her father she’d want to meet him in person. All I could do was offer my complete and utter support.

  We got to the library fifteen minutes after boarding the bus and as expected, it was practically dead. We didn’t really need to go there as all we were doing was accessing the internet to try and find a phone number, but Hannah insisted she didn’t want to do it at home. Her laptop had been taken by Nora at the beginning of summer and had apparently made the trip to Raleigh with her. I had my own laptop, a present from Julia after telling her I’d opted to homeschool, but she didn’t want to use that either. I suspected she just wanted to add a bit of mystery and excitement to the search so I went along with it. Besides, a day out with Hannah and Harper seemed like a good idea anyway.

  We pulled two chairs up to a computer and I sat there and rocked Harper while Hannah began to search. Harper let out a loud squeal, earning us a disapproving glare from the librarian. I smiled apologetically but she just frowned deeper and thrust her nose in the air as she stormed away. Oh well. I couldn’t expect to please everyone.

  “That was fast,” Hannah said, sounding surprised.

  “You found it already?”

  “Yep, unless another D. Johnson lives at the same address Ned found for us.” She frowned suddenly. “You think he found the right one, right? I mean, there’s probably more than one David Johnson in the world.”

  “I’m pretty sure. He went by the marriage certificate, I think.”

  “Well, it’s worth a try. Should I call now or wait until we leave?” I glanced over my shoulder and spotted the librarian stocking some books on the shelves.

  “After we leave,” I decided, and Hannah didn’t wait for another word before she was up and heading towards the door.

  “Where’s Adam today?” She asked once we were out on the street. The heat wave was finally broken and it was around the mid-eighties, sunny and virtually all around nice.

  “I don’t know, he didn’t really say. I think he’s hanging out with his friends. Why?”

  “Do you never keep track of him? I just saw someone who looked like him, but he got into a different car so probably not.”

  “Uh oh,” I teased. “Last time you thought you saw him out, I was proposed to a night later.”

  “Yeah, that’s true. Maybe he’s going to ask you to make another baby. When are you getting married, anyway?”

  “This summer,” I replied. “Around Harper’s birthday, probably. We haven’t really set an exact date.” I ignored the tightening I felt in my stomach when I
said those words.

  “That’s crazy. You’re going to be the only high school senior that’s married with a kid.”

  “Yeah, tell me about it.” I lifted Harper slightly and kissed her cheek. “But it’s all worth it.”

  “Well I hope you’re planning on asking me to be your maid of honor, that’s for sure. And I promise I won’t be going on any last minute vacations or missing anything else from here on out.”

  “I’m holding you to that,” I threatened lightheartedly. We headed over to a bench in a more quiet area and sat down. Hannah pulled out her phone, went through her contact list and allowed her thumb to rest over the send button.

  “I’m scared,” she admitted to me.

  “About what?”

  “I don’t know, everything? I mean, what if he hates me? What if we have nothing at all in common?”

  “First off, there’s no way in the world he’ll hate you. And of course you’re going to have something in common, he’s your father. You know how crazy both of my parents are and I have something in common with both of them.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She took a deep breath. “Well, here goes nothing.” She hit send and gave me an anxious look as she waited impatiently for someone to answer on the other line.

  “Um, hello, this is, um, Hannah. Hannah Gordon? I’m calling for David Johnson?” I watched her closely as she listened. Her face went from red to pale before settling on a color somewhere in between.

  “Oh, okay.” She said. “I guess I’ll call back later then? Or he can call me… Yeah, that sounds good. Okay, thanks.” She hung up and turned to me, her eyes wide.

  “I think that was his wife.”

  “You think?”

  “Well, she didn’t say and she didn’t sound like she knew who I was. I mean, if he cared at all he’d probably tell her my name, right? I knew this was a bad idea. He’s never going to call back.”

  “Hannah, calm down,” I advised, shifting Harper slightly so I could wrap my free arm around Hannah’s shoulders. “I’m sure she knows exactly who you are, but probably not your last name. And you have to remember Hannah is a pretty popular name and she probably wasn’t expecting his daughter Hannah to call some random Saturday afternoon in September. She probably just didn’t connect the dots yet, but when he sees you called, he’ll call right back. Try not to worry about it too much, okay? It’s all going to work out. He wouldn’t have been sending Nora checks for so long if he didn’t care and didn’t want to be a part of your life.”

  Hannah nodded slowly and shot me a grateful look. “Thanks, Lainey. I have no idea how I’d get through any of this without you.”

  “It’s my job,” I said with a smile. “You were there the entire time I was pregnant. It’s the least I can do.”

  “Not the entire time,” she said ruefully. “I was kind of MIA for a few months when I was with Nolan.”

  “Yeah, but I forgive you for that. You were pretty crazy about him.”

  “Or just plain crazy.” We laughed.

  Harper was getting fussy, the kind of fussy that meant I was going to find a surprise in her diaper, so we headed to a nearby burger shop for lunch and a bathroom break. Hannah found us a seat while I found the bathroom and proceeded to change Harper’s diaper at the changing station.

  I remembered the first time I ever had to do this, over a month ago. It was the first time I’d really taken Harper out anywhere for more than a walk or a doctor’s appointment. Mason convinced me to let him take me out on a lunch date, leaving Cynthia to run the bed and breakfast alone for an hour or so. I felt guilty about it but they both insisted, claiming I needed to get out of the house more often. I finally agreed, only when they stopped begging me to leave Harper with Cynthia. I’d felt so awkward trying to get Harper’s diaper on, my hands shaking because I swore everyone in the rest room was watching and judging me. Now, it was just second nature.

  “Oh wow, what are the odds of this?” I turned when I heard a slightly familiar voice. I smiled when I recognized the girl from the grocery store nearly two weeks earlier.

  “Hey,” I said with a smile.

  “I think she looks even bigger than she did the last time,” the girl laughed, motioning at Harper.

  “Yeah, definitely. She gets bigger every day. I never believed people when they said that.”

  “It’s definitely true. She’s precious.”

  “That she is,” I smiled. “Do you have any?”

  The sadness I thought I’d seen in her eyes two weeks ago reappeared but then she smiled and it was gone. I wondered if I were just imagining things.

  “Nope, none for me. I have to get through college first, even though looking at that precious little baby makes me think I’d trade in sororities and failing test grades for one of my own any day!”

  “I don’t know, college before babies seems like a pretty good idea to me,” I said. “I might have done it a little differently if I knew for sure I’d end up with Harper.”

  “You’re still so young,” she agreed, smiling wistfully. “But you’ll figure it all out.”

  “I hope so.” Harper’s diaper was changed and I knew it was her feeding time so I turned back to the girl as I lifted Harper back into my arms. “Well, I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around,” I said.

  “Yeah, maybe. I’m kind of in the middle of deciding whether or not I’m going to go back to college this semester or not.”

  “Oh, well welcome home and goodbye all at the same time, and good luck,” I laughed. “It was nice talking to you.”

  “You too, Lainey,” she said, and disappeared into a stall. I headed out the door, and then stopped in my tracks. How did she know my name? I brushed it off, thinking I must have told her back when we’d run into each other the first time. She might have even told me hers. It wasn’t like it would be the first time I’d forgotten something obvious in the past few months.

  Hannah was practically bouncing off her seat by the time I got to the table. “What were you doing in there?” She demanded. “I swear I’ve been waiting half a century for you to come back!”

  “Sorry,” I apologized. “I ran into someone I think I know. What’s up?”

  “Well, the woman I spoke to must have realized who I was after we got off the phone because she called Dav- my dad’s cell phone to tell him, and he just called me back! It’s definitely him, Lainey. I feel like I recognized his voice even though we never spoke on the phone before. He wants to see me. Can you believe it? He’s actually going to come up here. He doesn’t know when yet but it’s going to be soon. I’m so excited. Lainey, I actually have a dad!”

  “That’s fantastic, Hannah!” I said happily. “I’m so excited for you.”

  She smiled dreamily at me from across the table. “This is going to be the best year of my life so far,” she predicted. “I can feel it.”

  Chapter 12

  I spent most of that Sunday with Hannah, talking about when her father came to see her and what to expect and all the things they should try to do together. I felt myself getting excited over all the possibilities even though I knew I wouldn’t be an active part of any of them unless she asked me to.

  I didn’t let myself think back to a few months earlier, when Lila showed up unexpectantly and was a part of my life for that brief week. It still hurt too much, even though I wasn’t willing to openly admit that to anyone, even Hannah.

  At least Hannah’s situation was different and would yield an opposite result. That was all I could hope for, anyway.

  I put Harper down for a nap after Hannah left and fell asleep on the couch soon after that. I dreamt of travelling with Hannah and Harper and a faceless David Johnson, going to Russia and other places I never even thought of visiting before. I didn’t wake up until I felt someone shaking me.

  “Lainey,” Adam’s voice broke through my dreams. I was in an ice bar drinking an insanely big hot chocolate, and then all I could see what his face. “Lainey, wake up.”

&nb
sp; “What happened?” I asked, sitting up and looking around anxiously. “Where’s Harper?”

  “Harper’s fine, she’s in her room.”

  “Oh.” I placed a hand over my heart, willing it to slow down. “Don’t scare me like that. I was in Russia, and then…” I shook my head, clearing the dream from my memory.

  “What?” Adam asked, laughing. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, just a little hazy. What are you doing? Did you just get home?”

  “Yeah, a few minutes ago. I checked on our little girl and then I decided to check on you.” He sat down beside me and put his arm around me, pulling me close to him. “I’ve missed you,” he said, kissing my shoulder.

  “I haven’t gone anywhere.”

  “I know that, but we’ve been distant lately.”

  “I know, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. It’s my fault. I’ve been so overwhelmed with everything and I think I’ve been taking it out on you a lot and you don’t deserve that.”

  “It’s okay,” I insisted. “You have every right to be overwhelmed. At least I get to do the fun part and take care of Harper all day. You have to do all the hard work and make money and provide for us.”

  “You make it sound easy,” he smiled. “Taking care of a screaming baby all hours of the day isn’t all that great, Lainey. You don’t have to pretend like it is.”

  “Maybe not, but she’s my screaming baby and I love her more than anything in the world. She’s enough for me.”

  “I get that but you need more,” he said, brushing a few strands of hair from my face and kissing the tip of my nose. “That’s why I wanted you to go back to school so badly. You should have something outside of Harper.”

  “I don’t need anything more,” I replied. “I have you and Harper, a house that actually feels like a home and a family that isn’t completely dysfunctional. Plus Hannah is finally back and she’s so happy now that she’s away from Nora and about to get to know her dad.”

  “You’re amazing, you know that?” His eyes were full of emotion and for a moment I was worried he might actually cry.