Finders Keepers Series: Part I

by Daya Daniels

  “I’ll miss you too. We can always Skype,” I suggested.

  “Lily.” Abigail paused. “Gabriel cares about you, maybe even loves you.”

  I smiled staring into my tea cup. Gabriel had never uttered the words to me. I wasn’t sure how to respond. I’d never been in love with a man before. It wasn’t something I considered. Maybe I was already in love?

  “You two are officially a couple now, right?” Abigail smirked.

  “Yes, I guess you could say that.”

  “So, it’s safe to say you’ve both finally fucked.”

  “Abigail, don’t say that!” I placed my hand in the air in front of her mouth.

  “I figured you two have always been fucking, Lily, or doing something weird. It was never a secret. Everyone could tell.”

  I rolled my eyes, just as Jacob pulled up by the cottage in the Range Rover.

  “Have to go—another doctor’s appointment. Call me later,” she said as I helped her to stand.

  It was eleven o’clock in the morning. I sat with Gabriel at the Motor Vehicle Division of the Montana Department of Justice. I waited for my name to be called to have my picture taken that would be put on the front of my Class D basic driver’s license. I passed the written test and the driving test. I flipped through a Conde Nast travel magazine, passing the time.

  “I want to take you there.”

  Gabriel sank further down uncomfortably into the hard, plastic chair with his legs spread out wide.

  “Where?” I laughed, arching a brow. “Here?” I pointed to a picture of the Eiffel Tower.

  “Yes.” Gabriel sat up and gave me a curious look.

  He turned the remaining pages of the magazine and pointed at each of them.

  “And here, and here and here as well. We can visit each one of them.”

  I laughed. “Are you serious?”

  He came closer to my face and kissed me. “Yes, absolutely. I’m serious.”

  “Is that what the passport was for then?” I laughed.

  “Yes,” he said with a serious look on his face. “That’s exactly what it was for, Lily.”

  I travelled a bit when I was younger but only from state of state. We’d never left the USA. My parents used to drive from Nebraska to Idaho and down through Texas when I was little. My dad loved road trips. Europe seemed so far. Travelling there never made it on my bucket list. It was always a place I only admired in pictures.

  “Have you been to any of these places?” I asked him.

  “Yes, many of them but not all. There are still a few cities in Europe I’d like to visit but they are mainly in Scandinavia where there is much more land than people.” Gabriel trailed off.

  I smiled.

  “Number forty-nine,” a tall lady in a blue uniform called out.

  I jumped up and walked towards her holding all my documents with a huge smile on my face. Gabriel followed and stood on the other side of the partition watching me. I stood in front of the camera, trying not to smile too wide. The picture was taken. A few minutes later we left the building. I had my Montana state driver’s license.

  Gabriel stopped me to take a close-up picture with the camera. I stood grinning like a little kid holding my Montana state driver’s license in my hand next to my face. I walked toward the truck to jump in the passenger side and Gabriel gave me an amused look.

  “I figured you could drive home today, Lily,” he said holding the driver’s side door open for me.

  I jumped in and Gabriel pulled the keys from his pocket and tossed them into my lap.

  “Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Gabriel!” I sang as I walked into the den carrying a small cake with one lit candle sticking out of the top of it. Gabriel plopped a pile of papers down on his desk to look at me, somewhat amused.

  “How old are you? How old are you? How old are youuuuuuu? Happy birthday to you!”

  I approached the desk and Gabriel smiled. I could actually see his dimples. He leaned over when I finished the song and blew out the candle.

  “Well how did you manage this?” he asked in a serious tone. “I haven’t celebrated my birthday since I was seventeen.”

  I curtsied and placed the cake down on the desk.

  “Who told you?” Gabriel demanded jokingly.

  “Jacob,” I said.

  I asked Jacob four times until he finally agreed to tell me when Gabriel’s birthday was. His advice to me was don’t get upset if he gets angry because Gabriel doesn’t celebrate his birthday. Jacob’s grumpy face was amusing. I ignored his advice and went ahead and bought a cake anyway.

  Gabriel smiled and stood up to give me a hug and a kiss. He looked down at the cake and poked it curiously.

  “It’s just plain vanilla with vanilla icing—nothing fancy.”

  “Will I get to eat if off you later?” He nibbled along my neck.

  “I don’t see why not.” I giggled.

  “I have a gift for you,” I said leaving the den and returning with it nervously.

  Gabriel’s face looked pained while he stared at the dog.

  Abigail and I visited one of the shelters for animals a few days ago. We came across a black and silver German shepherd named Nate. He was two years old and fully trained. Nate was owned by an elderly man that recently died. There was no one left to take him in so he was put up for adoption. I prayed this wouldn’t go badly.

  “I don’t want you to get upset. I know he won’t replace Sable, but Rocco needs a new friend.”

  “What’s his name?” Gabriel asked hesitantly, bending down to look at the dog.

  Nate licked Gabriel’s hand curiously and Gabriel ruffled the short fur on his head.

  “His name is Nate. You can change it I suppose,” I said.

  Gabriel shook his head and laughed. “That’s not a good idea. If his name is Nate, we should keep it as Nate.”

  “Rocco likes him. They seem to get along.”

  Nate heeled in front of Gabriel, turning his head sideways to look at him. I waited for Gabriel’s response while he stared at the dog.

  “We should keep him, Lily. Thank you.”

  Nate continued to stare at Gabriel.

  “He’s very curious, isn’t he?” Gabriel patted his leg and Nate trotted over, jumping up to him.

  “He seems to understand commands,” I said. “They told me he was trained.”

  Gabriel moved from the desk and gave me a kiss, pulling me into him. “Speaking of gifts, I have something I’ve been meaning to give you,” Gabriel said walking off.

  It was Gabriel’s birthday and he was giving me a gift. I didn’t understand how he worked sometimes. Gabriel returned with a large white box with a blue ribbon wrapped around it.

  “Open it,” he said.

  I took the box and sat down on the sofa, placing the gift on the coffee table. I unwrapped it. It was a purple leather photo album. The front cover said “Lily’s New Memories” in script. I opened the album and flipped to the first page. It was full of the pictures that I’d taken since Gabriel had given me the Nikon, printed in all different sizes. There were pictures of me and him together at the sawmill that Jacob had taken. One of Gabriel and me standing outside of the cottage next to the truck while Rocco is splayed out on the ground at Gabriel’s feet.

  There was a picture of Abigail and me sitting at a table eating dessert at Marbella’s and standing in front of a church bundled up in coats. The next picture was of Jacob and Abigail sitting outside on their porch. Jacob is rubbing her belly while he gives her a kiss on the cheek.

  There were pictures of Winnie and Jack in the stables. A picture of Rocco and Sable together that I’d taken the first day Franca had come to wash them. Franca was covered in soap suds and had a huge smile on her face.

  There was a black and white picture of me in bed. My hair was a tangled mess and my face was contorted awkwardly in a playful smile.

  The next page was full of pictures of Gabriel. I hadn’t realized I’d taken so ma
ny. There was one of him sleeping. He looked so peaceful. In another picture, he is holding up a large bass on a frozen lake. There was another picture of the two of us. Gabriel is leaning over me smiling while I hold an M1919 Browning machine gun. I never did actually get to shoot that thing, I laughed to myself.

  I continued flipping through the album, finding more pictures of us. There was a picture of Gabriel sitting at McGavy’s, looking annoyed. I remembered that day well.

  The album had assorted pictures of the outside of the cottage and the ranch. There was a picture of Abigail sitting at her desk with her safety glasses on and one of Brenda and her crazy orange hair. I was in tears when I made it to the last page. The very last picture was of me holding my new driver’s license with a huge cheesy grin on my face. Gabriel sat down beside me and pulled me close to him while I cried.

  “I know those are happy tears, Akecheta,” he whispered, wiping my face with his hand and pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “Marry me, Lily.” I stretched out on top of Gabriel on the sofa as he spoke softly. Gabriel nudged me again, pulling me up towards him. “Lily, marry me. I love you.”

  My face was flushed and I was beginning to tremble. I hadn’t anticipated this conversation. I still didn’t speak. I was quiet. The tick-tock of the clock in the den seemed to be getting louder with the growing silence.

  “Don’t you love me?” Gabriel asked, pulling me up to sit on top of his stomach.

  His wrinkled undershirt moved up slightly, putting his hard abs on display. He took my face between his large palms and asked me again. I blinked slowly and closed my eyes for a short moment, trying to hide my nervousness.

  “Lily?”

  I began to cry.

  “Please don’t cry, Lily.”

  Why would Gabriel want me? I had nothing to offer him. I had no job, no money, nothing. I couldn’t even give him in-laws. I was damaged goods—garbage like Nina had always said, just like her. I was still putting myself back together. I had no experience even being in a relationship. In the limited experience I’d had with men, I never spent enough time with one to even know what love was.

  “I love you. Do you love me?” he asked again.

  “Yes,” I said opening my eyes to look at him.

  He pressed his lips together in a hard line. “Why didn’t that sound very convincing?” He sat up, moving to the edge of the sofa.

  “Gabriel, I’m not lying. I do love you. It’s just sometimes I think my definition of love has been so warped, I don’t know what I feel sometimes. I always thought Nina loved me, as a friend, but when I had the chance to be away from her and step back—”

  “Nina doesn’t love you, Lily,” he cut me off. “Nina loves herself.”

  “I know,” I whispered.

  “What are you afraid of because I won’t break your heart.”

  “I’m just afraid, Gabriel.”

  “Of what?”

  I stared at the floor for a long moment, having no fucking clue what I was trying to say. He tilted my face again gently to look at him.

  “I’ve always been alone, Lily. I didn’t mind before you came along but now I don’t want to be anymore. I don’t want to live in the cabin without you. I want you to be my wife.”

  “Gabriel, you don’t want to marry me,” I said, letting out an exasperated breath.

  “Yes—I do. I want to marry you because I love you. You’re all I care about. I don’t care about anything else.”

  I opened my mouth to speak again—still nothing came out. Only more tears streamed down my face onto my white tank top, turning it sheer where each drop fell.

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes. I trust you.” I nodded while he leaned in to kiss my cheek.

  He let out a long breath and stood up from the sofa, brushing my hair lightly. “I’m a very patient man, Lily, but I have my limits.”

  “Did you start writing, Lily?”

  I huffed out a long heavy breath. “No.”

  I sat in front of Dr. Lin this morning while she looked me over curiously. The grey sky outside and the drops of water that trickled down the large window behind her caught my attention.

  This would be the last office visit I’d have with her before leaving Helena. I wasn’t sure why I came to see her. I didn’t really have anything to say. In all the visits I’d had with Dr. Lin, I always felt like I had nothing to say until she started with the questions. She always had lots of questions...

  “Why not?” she asked with an amused expression on her face.

  “I guess I don’t know what to write. My head hasn’t been clear lately.”

  “You seem worried about something, Lily. What is it that’s bothering you?”

  “I’m afraid I’m still not fixed.”

  She smiled. “Fixed is a relative term, Lily. So is normal.”

  “Well I’m afraid that if I’m not fixed soon, I’m going to lose the one person that cares about me, Dr. Lin.”

  She sat forward in her chair, placing her black ballet flats level on the carpet. “Lily, sometimes I think you’re so afraid of being hurt now, you try to cut yourself off from feeling, and that’s okay. I know where it stems from but you sabotage yourself sometimes by telling yourself such a negative story and you don’t cut yourself any slack.”

  I knit my eyebrows together, annoyed at her statement.

  “You’re only human. You’re allowed not to be perfect. If you start writing, Lily, and it’s bad, then so be it. At least you started it…but by not starting, Lily, all you have are excuses and they won’t serve you any good.”

  She was right.

  “You love Gabriel, Lily,” she said staring at me.

  I nodded.

  “Gabriel loves you. I’ve never even met the man and I can tell you that he loves you, Lily. To him, you’re perfect. I don’t think he needs you to be any more than you already are.”

  I smiled. “Maybe. Gabriel has seen me at my worst.”

  “Lily, take what’s being offered to you. It is what you want, you just won’t let yourself accept that. You’re scared and that’s okay. I don’t think you want this man of yours to be with anyone else?” her voice pitched when she said the last part.

  “No.”

  I felt a black murderous rage whenever I thought of Gabriel with another woman.

  “So, what’s the problem?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, giving her the most honest answer I could come up with.

  I drove back to the ranch, repeating Dr. Lin’s last question in my head, hoping to find the answer.

  I turned to curl into Gabriel. I wasn’t sure what time it was but there was a beautiful full moon out. I pushed the drapes open earlier to look at it from the window across from the bed, before falling asleep. The bright light almost completely illuminated the large space.

  Gabriel’s heavy weight dipped the mattress when he rolled me over gently onto my back, pulling off my panties in one strong tug. The soft hairs on his forearm brushed against the inside of my thighs. I breathed him in and closed my eyes, not sure why he was completely awake at this late hour. His kisses were hard and passionate, taking my breath away with each plunge of his tongue into my mouth.

  His large hand splayed my legs open while he settled in between them already naked. He cradled my head with his hand and pushed his cock inside of me in one long stroke, almost causing me to choke. I whimpered at the welcome invasion, enjoying the feeling of him sliding in and out of me slowly. I pulled my legs back further and wrapped them around his waist while he slammed into me with his powerful hips. His strokes grew harder, more forceful, wrenching noises from my throat that could have woken the dead. God, I wanted this man. Gabriel never made love to me like this before, if that is what this was.

  It was rough, hard and seething. I wrapped my hands around his neck when he pushed into me, harder, deeper. Gabriel ran his tongue along my neck, kissing my ear and lingering on the lobe and
sucking. I moved my hands to his shoulders. Gabriel grabbed both of my wrists, restraining them in one hand. I tried to pull them away but he kept them in a vise-like grip above my head, giving me a questionable look.

  “Don’t you ever pull away from me, Lily,” he snapped, gasping at the same time. “I’m not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you,” Gabriel hissed. “It’s the rest of these motherfuckers that hurt you and I’m not one of them. I protect you, Lily, but you can’t see it! I love you. This is the truth!”

  I gazed into Gabriel’s eyes, startled. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out while I stared at him, trying to gauge his mood. Then I realized he was angry at me. This was Gabriel fucking me angry.

  “Gabriel.” My voice was so low even I could barely hear it.

  “Yeah, that’s it. Say it again, Lily, baby.” Gabriel continued to speak slowly, fucking me deep at the same time. “Say my name again.”

  “Gabriel!” I cried out, feeling my pussy clenching around him.

  He pressed his mouth against mine. His warm tongue pushed mine into submission each time I tried to control the kiss. It was deep and hungry. It was an intimidating kiss that confirmed he was in control of this, not me.

  “I’m going to fuck you until you tell me who you belong to, so that you understand. Because. You. Belong. To. Me. Lily,” he whispered, while he slowed his strokes, slamming into my pussy. Each time he rammed back in, it was like he was hitting a target.

  I gripped his forearms, moaning loudly. Gabriel loomed over me, pushing my thighs back until my knees were nearly at my ears. I was completely exposed to him and vulnerable in this position but it felt good. It felt so fucking good! It was the best, twisted pain I ever felt.

  He stopped for a moment, took in the view and smiled at his work. He eased back in slowly, arching his back towards the ceiling, letting out a hissing sound. The long length of his thick cock stretched me, moving in and out while I gasped for air with each deep thrust he made into me. He flipped me over quickly onto my stomach as though I weighed absolutely nothing at all and began to thrust again. I moaned, sucking in deep breaths. He yanked me towards him, fucking me hard and slow. I was going to come. Gabriel knew I was close.