LOVING ELLIE

by Brookes, Lindsey

  Because there was more than just the future of his brother’s son riding on it. Trust was a hard thing for him after what Anna had put him through, but he trusted Ellie. Enough to put his long-guarded heart on the line.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “Would you like more juice?” Lucas asked as he carried his empty coffee cup to the sink.

  Ellie ran a hand over her stomach. “No, thank you. I was lucky I could finish the first glass.”

  He chuckled. “He’s growing like a weed in there. Then again, Jarrett and I were both pretty big babies so I’m not surprised.”

  Her eyes widened. “Big? How big?”

  “Forget I said anything.”

  “Lucas,” she beseeched him, needing to know what she had to look forward to. Or maybe not look forward to.

  “Fine,” he said as he settled back into his seat at the table. “If I remember right, Jarrett was nine pound something or other.”

  “And you?”

  “Just over ten.”

  “Ten pounds!” she gasped. “That’s like giving birth to a boulder.”

  A grin slid across his face. “Guess that’s why I grew up to be so rock hard.” He turned in his chair and posed, flexing his biceps playfully.

  Ellie wadded up her napkin and threw it at him. “Spare me the gun show. I’m being serious here.”

  “You’re worrying over nothing.”

  “Nothing?” she gasped. “Only a man would say something like that. Nine or ten pounds is a huge baby. I’ll split in half if I give birth to a baby that size.”

  “Lord help me if I end up with two halves of you. It would be like living with two frustratingly stubborn, female bookends,” he replied, his husky laughter filling the room.

  She elbowed him playfully in the ribs.

  Lucas leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “Seriously, Ellie. Stop worrying. A pregnant woman’s body can do amazing things.”

  “As in pushing a watermelon through a donut hole?”

  He snorted, a wide grin sliding across his face. “Nothing to it.”

  The sound of his laughter warmed her from the inside out. “Keep it up,” she warned, “and you might find yourself in the delivery room with me. We’d see how brave you are then.”

  “Thanks, but I have every intention of sticking it out in the waiting room when the time comes.”

  She’d actually never given any thought to that. Jarrett would have gone into the birthing room with her, but with no family to speak of she would be on her own. Unless… Her gaze shifted to Lucas.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked nervously.

  “Like what?”

  “Like you’re about to make me do something I really don’t want to do.”

  “What if I want you in the birthing room with me? This is your nephew I’m giving birth to, you know.”

  “And he’ll be my nephew whether I’m in that delivery room or not. You’re better off asking someone else to go in with you.”

  “Like who?”

  “Mrs. Pearson.”

  “I don’t think that would be a very good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’d be afraid of squeezing her hand too hard during a contraction and hurting her. Her arthritis is really bad these days, you know.”

  “I hadn’t thought about that. Well, then how about Mrs. Mulrooney or Victoria?”

  “I don’t know them well enough.” She stood and carried her plate and cup to the sink. “It’s okay though. I’m used to doing things on my own.”

  “I’ll do it.”

  She glanced over her shoulder to find him standing behind her. “What did you say?”

  “That I’ll be there with you when you’re in labor. If you really want me to be.”

  She turned, staring up at him in surprise. “You would do that for me?”

  “If you want me there, I’m there.” He reached for his hat, placing it on his head. “But I’m warning you up front that I can’t promise I won’t run for the hills the first time I hear you cry out in pain.”

  He would do that for her, even knowing they would be turning the baby over to his new parents soon after. She fought the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.

  “You’re not going to cry again, are you?”

  She smiled. “I’m trying not to. And you’re in luck, cowboy, because I never scream.”

  “I kinda like it when you call me that,” he said with a grin as he reached out to smooth his fingers along her jaw. “And what have I told about using that word – never?” Something akin to desire flickered to life in his blue eyes as his gaze drifted down to her lips, lingering there. “I can think of a few things that would drag a scream right out of you.”

  A flutter of excitement stirred in her belly, one that had nothing at all to do with the baby she was carrying. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  The doorbell rang, making her jump almost guiltily.

  “I’ll get it,” he said, his hand falling away.

  She watched him go, her body and mind at war. Why did she have to be so attracted to him? But it was more than that. He was making her vulnerable. Making her want things that could never be.

  Grinning, Lucas went to answer the door. He was finally winning Ellie over. He could feel it in his gut, and his gut was rarely ever wrong. He just had to continue to be patient.

  He thought back to the conversation they’d been having before the doorbell rang and his grin faded. Had he really volunteered to go into the delivery room with her? Of all the stupid things to agree to, knowing how he’d reacted to something as simple as the baby kicking her. What would he do when the ‘watermelon’ headed for the ‘donut hole’?

  He opened the door to find a messenger waiting. The adoption paperwork Greg had promised to get out to them right away had arrived. After signing for the oversized envelope, he closed the door, no longer smiling, and headed back to the kitchen.

  Ellie turned from the sink with a smile when he returned. “Who was it?”

  “A messenger.”

  “Messenger?”

  He held up the package. “Your prospective parents.” That said he dropped the envelope onto the table.

  She stared at it as if it were a snake about to strike. “Oh.”

  He pulled out a chair and settled into it. “Well, aren’t you going to open it? Time is of the essence.”

  “Of course.” He didn’t miss the tremble in her hand as she hung the dishtowel she’d been drying dishes with over the front of the sink.

  That response told him she wasn’t overly eager to begin the process. He watched as Ellie crossed the room in that sexy little waddle he loved so much to take a seat across from him. But she didn’t reach for the package.

  “Want me to open it?” he asked.

  She shook her head. “No. I can do it.”

  He watched as she peeled open the end flap and slid the stack of papers out. An assortment of hopeful couples, their pictures, life histories and what they had to bring to the table as far as her son was concerned.

  A growing ache in his jaw brought Lucas’s attention to the tension that filled him. His teeth were clenched together in an effort not to voice his protests. His back was rigid. His shoulders tight. This was killing him. He could only imagine what it was doing to her.

  She leafed through each of the binder clipped files, taking extra time to gaze upon the pictures of the loving couples.

  They could be a loving couple if she’d stop letting the past rule her life. All she had to do was trust in him. Was that so much to ask? For Ellie, he supposed it was.

  “They seem like a nice couple,” she said halfheartedly, pushing a file across to Lucas.

  He forced himself to flip through the pages. He was supposed to be a part of this, but everything about it felt wrong. He felt for the couples who more than deserved to have a child to love, but he’d be darned if that child would be his nephew. No matter how perfect any of the couples might
be.

  “If you don’t mind stern parents,” he muttered.

  She looked up from the file she was going through. “What do you mean?”

  He held up the page with the couple’s picture on it. “See the lines etched between their brows. It tells me they scrunch their brows a lot – a sure sign of sternness.”

  She pushed the file aside. “That’s not what I want for my son.”

  He had to admit he felt a pinch of guilt for making something out of nothing. There hadn’t been the smallest hint of moodiness in that couple’s picture, but he was a man on a mission and that mission was to find fault with each and every couple vying for Ellie’s approval.

  *

  Blaine tried to busy himself in the barn, but all he could think about was seeing Victoria again. How would he handle being near her for what could amount to hours? And if Lucas and Ellie decided not to join them – what then? It was possible, seeing as how it was already a quarter past one and no one had arrived yet. Victoria would be there. J.B. would see to that.

  He sighed. He really had to stop driving himself crazy with all the thoughts bouncing around in his head. But Victoria’s unexpected return had set off a barrage of feelings he couldn’t quite get a grip on. Throw in Ellie’s decision to give her baby up for adoption and his emotional plate was becoming too blasted full.

  His dog, a three year old Chocolate Labrador Retriever, sprang to its feet at the sound of an approaching car.

  “Looks like our company’s arrived. Come on, Girl.” He made his way out of the barn, his dog at his side.

  Relief swept through him when he saw Lucas rounding the rental Jeep he’d been driving since returning to Eagle Ridge. They’d beaten Victoria there. The passenger door opened and his friend helped Ellie out, his hand supporting her back as they turned and started toward the house.”

  Blaine strode across the snow-blanketed yard to meet them. “You guys came.”

  “We said we would,” Lucas said with a chuckle, no doubt sensing Blaine’s relief. “Hey, Girl,” he said, reaching out to scratch the dog behind a long, floppy ear.

  The dog moved on to greet Ellie.

  “So I finally get to meet you,” she said, kneeling for a wet kiss on the cheek. She glanced up at Blaine. “I still think you might have put a little more effort into naming her.”

  He grinned. “I did. Otherwise I’d have named her Boy.”

  A second vehicle came up the drive then, drawing their attention.

  “Victoria,” Blaine muttered anxiously as the compact car pulled up next to Lucas’s Jeep. A second later, the passenger door swung open and J.B. shot out like his britches were lit on fire.

  “Stay,” Blaine commanded his dog as the young boy scampered toward them, waving excitedly.

  “Sheriff!”

  Blaine waved back. Then Victoria stepped from the car, her glorious gold-red hair lifting in the breeze, and his breath hitched.

  “She’s beautiful,” Ellie said softly.

  He didn’t need reminding of that. He saw her face every time he closed his eyes. “Today is about helping her son. Nothing more,” Blaine stated flatly, more of a reminder to himself.

  J.B. charged through the snow, slingshot in hand. “I thought today would never get here.”

  Blaine felt some of the tension filling him ease and he chuckled at the boy’s enthusiasm. “I see you brought your slingshot.”

  “You got yours?” the kid asked, eyeing Blaine’s empty hands.

  Blaine reached behind him and pulled his own, well-aged slingshot from the back pocket of his jeans. “You betcha.”

  Lucas pulled one from his coat pocket and said with a grin, “Count me in.”

  The boy looked up at Lucas questioningly.

  “J.B., this here overgrown cowboy who thinks he’s gonna outshoot us today is my good friend, Lucas Tanner.”

  The boy’s smile widened. “Are you a real cowboy?”

  “I suppose you could say that,” Lucas answered with a grin.

  J.B.’s gaze shifted to the Chocolate Lab at Blaine’s side. “Is he yours?”

  “She is mine,” he corrected. “Her name is Girl.”

  The boy looked up at him. “Girl?”

  Ellie giggled softly.

  “You can pet her,” Blaine said. “She doesn’t bite.”

  Victoria joined the group with a smile. “Sorry we’re late. Something came up.”

  Blaine’s brow lifted. “Nothing to do with cows or ladders, I hope.”

  “No, sir,” J.B. replied. “Aunt Myra was talking to my mom about selling the ranch.”

  He shot a questioning glance her way.

  “It’s become too much for them to take care of,” Victoria explained. “She wanted to know if I was interested in buying them out since we’re looking for a place to live.”

  “So will you?” he asked.

  “No. I don’t know anything about keeping up a ranch.”

  “It’s a lot of work,” Ellie chimed in. “Take it from someone who knows.”

  From the moment Victoria joined them, Blaine had forgotten anyone else was standing there. He needed thumped upside the head with his slingshot for his poor manners. “Ellie, this is Victoria…”

  “Winters,” she filled in.

  “And this is her son, J.B.,” he said, scruffing the boy’s hair. “Ellie owns the local coffee shop. And you already know Lucas.”

  “Victoria,” he greeted.

  “Lucas.”

  Blaine twirled his slingshot in his hand. “We’d best get to target shooting before our fingers are too cold to function. You ladies might as well wait in the house where it’s warm.”

  “Which means they’d like some ‘guy time’,” Ellie announced with a soft smile.

  Victoria looked to her son. “Is that okay with you?”

  He rolled his eyes. “I’m not a baby anymore.”

  Her expression warmed. “No, honey, you’re not.”

  “I ordered a couple of pizzas,” Blaine told them. “They should be here in about an hour. There’s money on the table in the entryway.”

  “That’ll give Victoria and me a chance to get to know each other,” Ellie said, but her tone didn’t hold it usual exuberance.

  Did she regret her part in helping him keep his distance from his ex? Lord, he hoped not. He needed all the help he could get.

  “Be careful,” Lucas called out as the women made their way to the porch. “The steps might be slick.”

  “Stop fussing,” Ellie called back over her shoulder. “Go play.”

  If only it were that easy, Lucas thought.

  “J.B., why don’t you head on into the barn and check out the targets I set up for us? I need to have a word with Lucas.”

  “Okay!” He sprinted off as fast as his little legs would carry him, slipping into the barn through the open door.

  “Is Ellie feeling all right?” he asked the second the boy disappeared from sight.

  “She’s tired. She hasn’t been sleeping well.”

  “Because of the adoption?”

  “It’s not helping matters,” Lucas said with a frown. “And this morning only added to her stress.”

  “What happened this morning?”

  “Greg Anderson sent a packet via messenger to the house this morning with possible adoptive couples.”

  “On a Sunday?”

  “He promised Ellie he’d get the information to her as soon as he got it all together.”

  His friend frowned. “So why would that delivery stress her out? I thought this is what she wanted.”

  “It’s what she thinks she wants, but she’ll regret it. And I care too much about her to let Ellie make a decision like this based on her family’s failures. So when we started going through the prospective parent files, I took it upon myself to plant doubts in her mind about each and every couple. Now she’s back to square one.”

  A slow grin replaced the frown on Blaine’s face. “I like the way you think.”


  “I thought you would.”

  Blaine slapped him on the back as they started into the barn. “So you asked Ellie to marry you, huh?”

  “Twice.”

  “Twice?”

  “I love her, Blaine.”

  His friend stopped mid-stride, his head snapping around with that admission. “You what?”

  “I know it’s crazy. I never thought I’d feel this way again after losing Anna. But Ellie’s wedged her stubborn little self right into my hardened heart.”

  “I’ll be darn. Even Jarrett, as close as he was to Ellie, never fully captured her heart.”

  “I said I love her,” Lucas corrected. “She hasn’t admitted to reciprocating those feelings, but she does,” he said with total confidence. “The hard part is going to be convincing her I’m in this for the long haul.”

  *

  Victoria’s gaze slid over Ellie’s rounded stomach as they stepped up onto the porch. “You and Lucas must be so excited about the baby.”

  “It’s not his,” Ellie corrected.

  Color flooded her cheeks. “I’m so sorry. I thought… I mean the way he looks at you…”

  “It’s complicated,” Ellie replied as they were met by the welcoming warmth of the house.

  “Well, I understand complicated better than most,” Victoria admitted as she removed her jacket. “Being Blaine’s friend I’m sure you’re aware of our past.”

  Ellie nodded as she slipped out of her coat.

  “I never stopped loving him, you know. Even when I knew he had to hate me for what I’d done. But I had my child to think of. What I wanted no longer counted.”

  Ellie felt the sting of tears. Here was a woman who understood the sacrifices a mother would make for her child. One who wouldn’t judge her for the choice she had made in regards to her unborn son. She turned from the coat rack to face Victoria. “Do you regret the choice you made back then?”

  “Every day of my life,” the young woman breathed. “The only thing I don’t regret is keeping my son. His father tried to convince me for months to have an abortion.”

  “And you still married him?” Ellie asked in surprise.