Rebellious Heart

by Jody Hedlund

  As the riders drew nearer, and at the sight of a young woman wearing elegant riding apparel, his pulse lurched. The confident set to the woman’s shoulders, the proud tilt of her chin, the wisps of raven hair that had escaped from the hood of her cloak—they belonged to only one woman. Susanna.

  His first inclination was to drop his chisel, hop over the stone wall, and run to her. Everything within him wanted to hoist her from her mare, drag her into his arms, and bury his face into her neck. He needed to feel her arms about him, her soothing breath on his cheek, and the comforting thump of her heartbeat against his.

  But then his attention shifted to the rider next to her and the door of his heart slammed shut. A blast of wind socked him again, and he sucked in bitter air that flowed into his lungs and stung him.

  Elbridge lifted his chin, giving Ben a clear view of his countenance and the pride etched there. His smile sent the message I told you so, indicated he was indeed the favored one, and that everything he’d said at the Green Dragon in Boston was true. Reverend and Mrs. Smith had placed their favor upon him as Susanna’s suitor.

  Disappointment bit at Ben.

  He’d thought Susanna more intelligent than to settle for someone like Elbridge. She was much too passionate about life. She’d never be content with a man as narrow-minded and ignorant as Elbridge.

  Susanna reined her horse on the other side of the wall next to Ben. Her dark eyes radiated such sorrow and compassion, his throat grew tight. Once again he had the urge to sweep her down and into his arms. A deep part of him—a part he couldn’t begin to understand—needed her more than anything or anyone.

  “Ben,” she said softly.

  Just the sound of his name on her lips pushed the ache higher into his throat.

  The gentle lines of her face were drawn together. “Please accept my heartfelt sympathy on the loss of your father.” She held out a gloved hand to him.

  He wanted to put his hand into hers and let her console him, but Elbridge nudged his horse between them, giving her mare little choice but to step back.

  Her horse nickered in protest, and Susanna rubbed her hand against the beast’s mane. “How are you faring?” Her eyes were full of questions and confusion—the same confusion that had swirled in her eyes the last time he’d seen her, when she’d refused his offer of courtship and shut him out of her life.

  All the pain, the heartache, and the anger of her rejection came pounding back into his chest.

  “Why are you here, Susanna?” he asked.

  She drew back as if his words had slapped her. “I came to offer my condolences,” she said hesitantly. “And my comfort.”

  “I don’t need your comfort.” He was being hard on her, but at that instant, with Elbridge standing between them, Ben couldn’t seem to stop his anger from spilling out. “After our last parting, what would make you believe I’d want your comfort?”

  “I only wished to express how sorry I am—”

  “Obviously. Now that you know I inherited my father’s farm and have become a freeholder.”

  “That’s not true. That has nothing to do with my visit whatsoever.”

  “Admit it. It has everything to do with your visit. You spurned me when I had nothing. But now that I own property, you’re no longer ashamed to associate with me.”

  “The thought hadn’t crossed my mind in the least. Surely you can’t think me so callous.”

  He shrugged.

  A smile tugged at Elbridge’s lips. He was likely getting the kind of show he’d anticipated.

  Ben knew he should refrain from any more conversation, but the hurts pushed for release. “You’re more like your mother than you want to admit.”

  Susanna’s shoulders slumped and the life that had been in her eyes drained away. “I can see you’re still very hurt. And I don’t blame you. Even so, I was hoping—”

  “Hoping I’d forgotten what happened? Hoping my grief would make me fall into your arms and cry on your shoulder? Go back home, Susanna. And stay there.”

  “Very well.” She lifted her chin.

  “Come. Let’s go,” Elbridge said, urging his horse forward. “I told you Ross wasn’t worth the time.”

  Susanna gathered her reins. But then she hesitated. “I was planning to extend an invitation for you to join us at Mount Wollaston tonight for dinner.”

  “Then it’s a good thing you didn’t invite me,” Ben replied. “I wouldn’t have come.”

  The wind whipped at her already rosy cheeks. It wrenched the hood of her cloak and unleashed more of her hair. She shuddered, obviously chilled in spite of her heavy layers.

  The day was too cold for her to be riding about the countryside. Why had Elbridge allowed it? If he cared at all about Susanna, he should have insisted she stay home. Especially with the threat of an influenza epidemic.

  “This is no time to be having parties.” Ben couldn’t prevent anxiety from creeping into his tone. “You were a fool to come into Braintree at all, with the influenza striking so many. Three more died today.”

  She reached into her cloak, glanced at Elbridge’s retreating back, then pulled out a letter. She thrust it toward him. “For you.”

  The wind flapped the folded sheet, attempting to tear it away from him. But he grabbed it before either Elbridge or the wind could sever his last connection with Susanna.

  Because the truth was, in spite of all his hurt, he wasn’t ready to let go of her.

  He tucked the letter into his cloak near his heart.

  As he watched her spur her mare after Elbridge, he pressed his hand against the sheet through the scratchy wool. And he couldn’t keep the despair from rampaging through him with renewed force.

  She’d come to him.

  Why in heaven’s name had he sent her away?

  Susanna stared out the parlor window into the fading light, which was reflected in the snow that was beginning to fall in earnest. She tried to ignore the chatter of the few friends Grandmother Eve had invited for the evening.

  Nothing ever stopped her grandmother from socializing, not even illness. Besides, they had need for the commotion of the guests if they hoped to provide a cover for Dotty’s escape.

  Susanna grazed her fingers along the cold windowpane, unable to shake the gloom that had settled over her since her visit with Ben. Elbridge had protested riding past Ben’s farm, but she’d convinced him it wasn’t too far off the route to Mount Wollaston.

  Perhaps she should have heeded Elbridge. What had she expected? That Ben would throw open his arms and welcome her back into his world?

  She certainly hadn’t imagined he’d hate her and order her to leave.

  The tinkle of laughter behind her mocked her and only made her want to sneak out of the room and secrete herself in her grandfather’s study. Instead she gripped the windowsill and held herself back, knowing she had to play the part expected of her, at least through dinner.

  Then after everyone had gone, and the hoofprints and sleigh ruts crisscrossed the snowy roads, she would make her escape with Dotty. If Lieutenant Wolfe tried to track them, he’d have a difficult time following them amidst all the other tracks.

  When she’d arrived, she pulled Grandmother Eve aside and shared the warning Sergeant Frazel had brought that morning. She’d also had to explain all that had occurred recently with Ben, the alienation between them and his cold dismissal that afternoon.

  Grandmother had insisted Ben didn’t mean anything he’d said and that he would still be willing to help them. But after a lengthy discussion, and upon Susanna’s persistence, they’d finally agreed the best course of action was to move Dotty to Parson Wibird’s home. Grandmother was confident the parson would do his best to shelter the young woman, at least until it was safe to bring her back to Mount Wollaston.

  “Come, Susanna,” Elbridge called from near the fireplace. “You must stop brooding and join us. We were all remarking on the delicious scents coming from the dining room.”

  The aroma of the dinner
the servants were laying out had indeed penetrated the parlor—the tartness of plum pudding, the juiciness of roasted goose, the sweetness of sugar-glazed carrots.

  She couldn’t fault Elbridge for his attentiveness. He was only playing the role of a suitor. And he had, after all, been willing to accompany her to Braintree, even though it meant another long ride in the wintry weather.

  Yet no matter his virtues, she was well past exhausted at being in his presence, at having his undying attention all day long.

  As much as she disliked the thought of having to contradict her mother’s choice for her, she didn’t know how she could possibly endure being courted by Elbridge. He was a decent man, but she couldn’t marry someone whose presence wearied her.

  Perhaps this was one of those times when she must stay strong and challenge the old way of doing things, shedding the need to acquiesce like a gown she’d long outgrown.

  She could begin by convincing Elbridge she wasn’t the right woman for him, that with his wealth and status he would surely find someone more suitable.

  She had started to turn from the window when a distant glimmer caught her attention. She pressed her face closer to the frosty glass and peered through the blowing snow and growing dusk. At the bottom of the winding road that led up the hill, a light flickered.

  Were more guests arriving?

  A flare of a second light shone long enough to reveal a spot of red before the darkness and the falling snow swallowed the rider.

  Her heartbeat collided with her ribs.

  A spot of red? That could only mean one thing. Lieutenant Wolfe was paying Mount Wollaston a visit that very night.

  “Grandmother Eve.” Her voice wavered. “I do believe we’re about to have uninvited guests.”

  The room grew silent, leaving only the sound of the soft crackling of the hearth fire.

  Her grandmother’s petticoats swished with each rapid step she took toward the window. “I hope you’re not referring to Lieutenant Wolfe.”

  “I regret to say that I am.”

  Elbridge’s eyebrows shot up. “Lieutenant Wolfe here? Tonight? He can’t be.”

  “I do not believe I’m mistaken.” Susanna met her grandmother’s anxious eyes.

  Without speaking a word, Susanna knew she was thinking the same thing as Grandmother. They had to get Dotty out. Immediately. Even if they were wrong about the identity of the visitor, they were better to use caution.

  Elbridge cursed. “Lieutenant Wolfe assured me he would meet with me on the morrow.”

  “Since when have you been speaking with the lieutenant?” Susanna asked.

  For the merest instant Susanna caught a glimpse of guilt upon his face, but then just as quickly he lifted his nose and stared at her with the same look of rebuke he’d leveled at her earlier in the day. “I’ve had to make it my business in order to protect you from your own foolhardiness.”

  Something in his eyes said he’d discovered her involvement with Dotty. Had he been the man Sergeant Frazel had seen talking with Lieutenant Wolfe, the one to betray her presence at Mount Wollaston?

  Susanna had the sudden urge to scream at him. “Have you no care for what he shall do to Grandmother Eve’s home?”

  “I arranged to meet the lieutenant on the morrow at Benjamin Ross’s farm since he’s to blame for the whole affair.” Elbridge’s voice was clipped. “I’d hoped to prevent any problems for Grandmother Eve.”

  “You must leave, Susanna.” Grandmother Eve steered her toward the door. “What’s done is done. There’s no time to waste now.”

  Susanna nodded and scurried toward the parlor door, ignoring the whispers of the other guests.

  “Where are you going, Susanna?” Elbridge called after her. “I insist that you remain here.”

  Susanna didn’t stop but instead ran down the hallway toward the kitchen. Behind her she could hear Grandmother Eve tell Elbridge, “If you care at all about your cousin, then you must stay here and detain Lieutenant Wolfe.”

  Susanna made her way past the kitchen to the small storage closet at the rear of the house. With only the slightest knock she barged into the crowded room lined with shelves and boxes and smelling of honey and apples.

  “Why, miss . . .” Dotty glanced up from a corner chair where she’d sat earlier when Susanna had visited her shortly after her arrival. “I didn’t expect to see you again tonight. Didn’t expect to see you at all.”

  “We need to go. Now.”

  Dotty sprang to her feet. The short gown and petticoat Grandmother had given her pulled taut against her gently rounded stomach, which was growing more prominent with each passing week. Dotty’s face paled, and her fingers shook so that she lost her grip on the apron she’d been hemming for Grandmother Eve.

  There wasn’t time to reassure the girl. Susanna shoved aside the round carpet at the center of the room and tugged at the cord that would lift the trapdoor.

  “Here.” Grandmother Eve charged into the closet-like room, her arms laden with cloaks, muffs, and mitts. “Put these on.”

  Susanna and Dotty scrambled to don the apparel while Grandmother Eve stowed Dotty’s personal items out of sight, scrambling to hide any evidence that Dotty had been there.

  “One of the servants has already tied a horse at the bottom of the hill near the road,” Grandmother Eve said, pulling up the hood of Dotty’s cloak and then helping to tie the ribbon. “Ride the horse as hard as you can and go straight to Benjamin Ross’s farm.”

  “I thought we’d planned to take her to Parson Wibird’s?” Susanna wiggled her fingers into the gloves Grandmother had handed her.

  “With the fresh snow, the lieutenant will have no trouble tracking you there. You must ride to Ben’s.”

  She couldn’t go to Ben, not after her earlier encounter. “Won’t the lieutenant follow us to Ben’s too?”

  “He probably shall. But Benjamin will know what to do. He’ll find a way to keep you safe.” Grandmother Eve guided Dotty to the trapdoor that led to the underground tunnel.

  “But Grandmother Eve, he didn’t want to see me again. His disdain for me was quite evident.” Susanna started down the ladder into the dark abyss below.

  “Appearances can be deceiving, darling. You’ve been putting your consideration into his outward qualifications. It’s past time for you to look deeper at the things that really matter.”

  Susanna stopped short at her grandmother’s rebuke.

  Grandmother Eve steadied Dotty on the ladder as she began the descent. “Please don’t make the same mistake I did.”

  “What mistake?” Susanna’s feet touched the hard earth, and the darkness of the cavern threatened to engulf her.

  “I once gave up the possibility of love with a wonderful man because I was foolish enough to care about his lack of position in the community more than the goodness in his heart.” Grandmother Eve’s face was shadowed.

  For a moment Susanna could only stare at the merry woman who’d brought joy and hope to her life for so many years. She wouldn’t have guessed Grandmother Eve had experienced heartache.

  “I’ve learned to love and respect your grandfather over the years,” she said softly. “But I can’t ever forget what a foolish young woman I was.”

  Susanna didn’t know how to respond to Grandmother Eve’s confession. Her insides twisted with strange confusion as she helped Dotty descend the last rungs.

  Grandmother Eve leaned down and handed Susanna an oil lantern, which illuminated Dotty’s frightened face and the starkness of the underground tunnel. Susanna took the lantern and paused again.

  “For now you must do as I’ve said. Please promise you’ll go to Ben?”

  “Only if you think it’s for the best.”

  “Yes. Trust me.” Grandmother Eve glanced toward the door and beyond. Her face tightened with urgency. “You must go. We won’t be able to stall the lieutenant for long.”

  Susanna held out the lantern to reveal the short tunnel. The light touched the other end and a wood
en door.

  “God be with you, Susanna,” Grandmother Eve said, pressing a kiss to her hand and then holding it out to Susanna.

  Susanna tried to swallow the lump of fear lodged in her throat. “Will God be with me, Grandmother Eve? Even when I’m breaking the law?”

  “A kind action is never wrong.”

  She nodded at Grandmother Eve and pushed aside the doubts. Hadn’t she prayed earlier in the day that if God wanted her to continue to help Dotty, that He would provide a way?

  He’d given her a reason to ride to Mount Wollaston. And now surely He would have her do nothing less than show compassion to this woman.

  But the truth was, she had no idea how she would keep herself and Dotty safe. Once the lieutenant discovered the presence of the secret tunnel, he’d be able to follow their tracks to Ben’s farm.

  He’d be able to track them anywhere.

  Where could they possibly go that would be safe from the lieutenant? The vision of the murdered body of the woman on the beach rose up to haunt Susanna. A pale face frozen with pain, and lifeless eyes wide with fear.

  Susanna shuddered to think what Lieutenant Wolfe was capable of doing if he were to catch them.

  “Perhaps this is overly dangerous,” she started.

  “Sometimes doing the right thing is perilous, darling.” Grandmother Eve was already lowering the trapdoor. “But you are brave, Susanna. Braver than you know.”

  The trapdoor closed, giving Susanna little choice but to run.

  She crouched and started down the tunnel. The lantern swung erratically. The light cast eerie shadows on the crumbling dirt walls as if demons had come out of the bowels of the earth to gleefully watch their demise.

  “Let me go by myself, miss,” Dotty said, following behind her. “The lieutenant is after me, not you.”

  “I’ll see you to safety, Dotty,” Susanna said. She came to the plank door at the end of the passageway. “I must see you to safety.”

  Whether right or wrong, Susanna couldn’t stop now. Not anymore. God had brought Dotty into her life, and she couldn’t turn her back on Dotty any more than she’d been able to resist visiting Ben earlier.