Rebellious Heart

by Jody Hedlund

  With trembling fingers she opened the door a crack. She peered out, but all that met her view was the darkness of the night and the swirling of snow. In the distance, through the whistle of the wind, she could faintly hear the barking of Grandfather Quincy’s hunting dogs.

  If the dogs were barking, that meant the lieutenant was at the house, likely dismounting his horse. Once he made his way inside, he’d discover their absence and would rapidly be on their trail.

  Susanna took stock of their surroundings. The woodland that bordered Mount Wollaston lay directly before them. Behind them, not far up the hill on the plateau, stood the house and barn.

  The best course of action was to sprint to the woods and make their way down the hill under the cover of the trees.

  Susanna blew at the flame of the lantern, plunging them into utter blackness. As much as she’d like a light to guide their way, they couldn’t risk it. Through the darkness, she groped for Dotty’s hand. Their shaking fingers connected.

  Susanna swung open the door. “We must make haste.”

  The wind rushed at them and caught at their cloaks, snagging them and holding them back. But Susanna pulled up her hood, ducked her head, and pushed forward.

  “Run!” she called over her shoulder to Dotty.

  Susanna raced to the edge of the woods, dragging Dotty behind her. Once there, she started down the hill, moving from one tree to the next, slipping and sliding in the snow.

  The brittle branches overhead rattled through the howling wind whose bitterness seeped through her cloak and sent shivers over her skin.

  With her ragged breath searing her lungs, she cast a furtive glance over her shoulder. The lights in the windows of her grandparents’ home shone faintly through the flurry. But so far she couldn’t see Lieutenant Wolfe.

  When they arrived at the bottom of the incline, Susanna didn’t stop even though she was panting. Instead she sprinted toward the road. Dotty struggled to keep up, her days of inactivity and her growing belly slowing her down.

  Susanna rushed blindly ahead toward the tree where she knew she’d find the horse.

  “We’re almost there.” Susanna slowed her steps and linked her arm through Dotty’s, helping her through the slippery layer of fresh snow. In a few brief moments they located the horse the servant had left for them, and they made quick work of mounting.

  Somewhere at the top of the hill near the mansion, another light flickered and was followed by a shout.

  The chill on Susanna’s skin seeped into her blood. She wrapped the reins around her gloved fingers and dug her heels into the horse’s side.

  Had the lieutenant discovered their escape?

  She urged the horse forward, faster until they were galloping away from Mount Wollaston. She thought she heard more shouts and the pounding of hooves behind them, but the wind rushing in her ears made it difficult to distinguish the different sounds.

  Snow pelted her face, and the wind ripped her hood off her head. And yet she spurred the horse to stretch its legs even harder.

  Surely they would need the hand of Providence to reach down and intervene if they were to make it through the night without getting caught.

  Chapter

  21

  Ben sat at his desk and unfolded Susanna’s letter again.

  From Diana, your moon, here to light the way through this dark travail in which you find yourself.

  The words poured warmth over the wounds in his heart as they had every time he’d read them over the past several hours since she’d visited. He smoothed the sheet and traced the hastily scrawled words.

  The lantern on his desk cast a cozy glow, and the low flames in the fireplace crackled with a comforting heat. For once, since he’d received news of his father’s death, a semblance of peace stole over him.

  The calmness permeated his office in spite of the wind rattling the windowpane and wailing low in the chimney. The snow was beginning to plaster the window, and frost would soon form a thin layer over the inner glass.

  Thankfully he had no need to be out on a night that was ushering in the first major storm of the winter. He was content to closet himself in his office for the evening, to ponder Susanna’s plea for forgiveness.

  He studied her letter again.

  I beg you to forgive me for hurting you, again. It would seem I am destined to repeat my past mistakes. Although I thought I had matured, it is now clear to me that I have much room for improvement in my character.

  Since the day you walked back into my life, you’ve challenged me to think beyond the limits of my comfort and to seek out God’s higher laws of compassion and mercy. You will have to excuse me as I sort through the confusion that has settled over the depths of my mind. Therewith, I know not what to think about anything anymore.

  I plead for your patience and goodwill. More than anything, I plead for your undying friendship.

  She asked him to forgive her and extend the hand of friendship to her again.

  His eyes shifted back to her opening line. From Diana, your moon . . .

  He brought the paper to his face and breathed in the lingering scent of dried rose petals. He could almost envision the sweet tilt of her lips when she smiled, the sparkle that lit her eyes, and the saucy quirk of her dimple.

  A soft groan escaped his lips.

  What was he doing?

  He tossed the sheet back onto the clutter of documents and empty inkpots littering his desk.

  Alas, she’d only shown renewed interest because of his father’s death. Now that he was no longer the pauper she’d believed him to be, she was willing to consider his affection.

  Although she’d denied his accusation, he couldn’t stop himself from questioning her motives. But even as he did, his own guilt rose up to taunt him.

  Was this the meaning of Parson Wibird’s warning when he’d wanted to propose to Hannah Quincy? That he would only bring hurt to another if he married for wealth and status rather than the qualities that truly mattered.

  He most certainly didn’t like the idea that Susanna’s feelings for him may have changed with his fortunes. How could he have been so callous as to seek after Hannah for her fortune?

  Yet he knew he was only deluding himself to think Susanna was newly attracted to him because of his improved status as a landowner. Even with the acreage and house, he was still insignificant compared to Elbridge. She was a beautiful, desirable woman, and she could command the attention of any man she chose.

  Why would she want him—even if he had land now?

  He expelled a heavy sigh and sat back in his chair. He needed to accept the fact that she wasn’t pursuing him as a potential suitor.

  She desired friendship. And that was all.

  Could he content himself with merely being her friend? And really, what other choice did he have?

  A knock on the door of his office startled him and he sat forward, scrabbling to stuff Susanna’s letter into his waistcoat before anyone caught him in the act of pining away for her.

  The door opened a crack and his sister-in-law peeked through. “I’m sorry to disturb you, brother, but Mrs. Quincy’s granddaughter is here.”

  “Susanna?” Ben jumped to his feet. Against his will, his pulse sputtered at the thought of seeing her again.

  “Yes, it’s Miss Smith. And she insists her business is of the utmost urgency.”

  Trepidation slammed into him like an unexpected fist punch, leaving him suddenly breathless. If she had the need to seek him out on a night such as this, something was terribly wrong.

  He wasted no time in grabbing his great coat and outer garb. He raced through the house to the front hallway. And he wasn’t in the least surprised to find her with Dotty. Both of their cloaks were covered with a thin layer of snow, their faces red, and their expressions wild with fright.

  “Ben.” Susanna started toward him but then hesitated. “Lieutenant Wolfe is chasing us.”

  “How close is he?”

  “Grandmother Eve hoped to det
ain him at Mount Wollaston to give us a lead. But I don’t know how long she’ll be able to keep him at bay.”

  “Then we have no time to lose.”

  At his words, relief flooded her eyes.

  Had she been worried he’d refuse to help her? He supposed after his reception of her earlier in the day, he had indeed given her reason to doubt his affection.

  He wanted to pull her into his arms and reassure her that he was helpless to do anything but her bidding. But now was neither the time nor the place.

  Instead he made haste at donning his winter garments, gathering his musket, and saddling his horse. Susanna and Dotty were waiting when he charged around the house. They cast glances over their shoulders in the direction they’d already come as if they expected Lieutenant Wolfe to ride out of the flurry of blowing snow and descend upon them at any second.

  For an instant he thought he saw a flicker of light in the distance. Was Lieutenant Wolfe already catching up to them?

  “Let’s go,” he called, starting forward, digging his heels into his horse. They didn’t have a moment more to spare.

  Without a word, the women followed.

  He didn’t need to tell them to hurry. They understood the gravity of their situation. If the lieutenant intercepted them, he’d not only punish Dotty, but he’d also bring charges against Susanna and him for aiding the runaway. And after all the trouble they’d already caused the lieutenant, Ben had the feeling the man wouldn’t hesitate to request the fullest measure of prosecution.

  In fact, Ben had begun to wonder if the lieutenant had ulterior motivations for pursuing Dotty so relentlessly. Surely one helpless runaway wasn’t worth his effort. Surely he would have given up the chase by now, unless he had other, more sinister reasons for capturing her.

  Ben forced his horse to plunge into the wind and snow. The pounding hooves urged him to ride faster and harder.

  He had to protect Susanna and Dotty from Lieutenant Wolfe, and he knew of only one place where he could take them that would be safe, at least for a few hours until he had the time to formulate a better plan.

  They had only gone about a mile at top speed before the women began to lag behind. He finally slowed his horse and rode alongside them.

  “With the burden of two people, your horse is wearying under the strain,” he yelled through the wind. “One of you will need to ride with me.”

  He hated to stop their progress, even for the brief instant it would take them to make the switch.

  Susanna hesitated and called something to Dotty.

  “Make haste.” He stretched out his arms to assist her onto his horse.

  “Dotty will ride with you,” Susanna replied.

  “No, miss. You’ll be warmer. You go.”

  Susanna protested. “I insist—”

  “Susanna, come to me.” He grabbed her arm and dragged her off the horse and onto his.

  She didn’t resist. Instead she hoisted herself in front of him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and settled upon his lap almost as if she were relieved to be in his embrace.

  A glance over his shoulder revealed a tiny light bobbing on the road behind them. He didn’t wait to discover whether it was Lieutenant Wolfe or a figment of his petrified imagination. He spurred his horse onward and yelled to Dotty, “We need to go faster.”

  Susanna clung to him and buried her face into his cloak. Her body shook like the branches on the trees overhead. If he was frozen down to the bones, he had no doubt she was too.

  He needed to get her and Dotty out of the winter storm and somewhere dry before they became ill.

  They rode without conversing, the wind making it impossible to breathe much less speak. His only hope was that the increasing winds would blow snow across their tracks, making the chase more difficult for Lieutenant Wolfe.

  As they finally neared the bay, Ben galloped down the coastal road until the light from the front windows of Arnold Tavern greeted him.

  He knew he was putting the smuggling operation in jeopardy by leading Lieutenant Wolfe directly to the tavern. But at the moment, Susanna’s safety was more important than the causes of liberty.

  He lowered her to the ground and jumped off behind her. He helped Dotty from her horse. Then he slashed at the hindquarters of the horses with his riding whip.

  “Ride on!” he called to them as he propelled Susanna and Dotty up the front steps.

  Spooked, the horses hurtled down the road away from Arnold Tavern. Ben prayed Lieutenant Wolfe would pursue the beasts for a while longer. But the lieutenant was too smart to be fooled for long. He’d come back to the tavern. And when he did, he’d tear it apart in his search for them.

  Ben hoped by then he’d have Dotty and Susanna tucked safely into the smugglers’ hold.

  The women stumbled through the door, and the warmth of the tavern welcomed them with outstretched arms.

  At the sight of them, Mr. Arnold shoved away from the table where he sat with several patrons who had been brave enough to venture out on the stormy night.

  “Benjamin Ross.” He wiped his hands on his apron. “Ye look like ye’ve seen a ghost.”

  “I wish.” Ben heaved the door closed against the pressure of the wind and then steered the women forward. Seeing a ghost would have been preferable to being hunted by the lieutenant.

  Susanna turned her dark eyes upon him, seeking his direction.

  “Go to the kitchen.” He spun their cloaked faces away from the men and hastened them across the room. The less the patrons knew about the identity of the two women, the safer they’d be.

  Mr. Arnold rounded the table, and his thick brows furrowed. “So ye are in trouble, then?”

  “When am I not in trouble, Mr. Arnold?”

  The man followed him. “’Tis true. Ye are a glutton for it, aren’t ye?”

  Once they were out of the dining room and away from the inspection of the other men, Ben stopped and lowered his voice. “The red monkey will come searching for me here shortly. You’ll have to convince your patrons to have a case of blindness in regards to seeing us. Perhaps a few extra drinks are in order?”

  Mr. Arnold nodded and was already at work lifting the hatch that led to the root cellar.

  Susanna started down the ladder. At least the smugglers’ cavern would come as no surprise to her this time.

  Within minutes they’d crawled into the hidden underground cave. On the other side of the tunnel, he heard the scrapes and squeaks as Mr. Arnold moved the shelf back into place to camouflage the opening. There were several other bangs and bumps, the sign that Mr. Arnold was shoving barrels around to make the lieutenant’s discovery of the door nearly impossible. Nearly.

  When all was quiet in the cellar, Ben finally turned. The dim light of the candle he held illuminated the frightened faces of Susanna and Dotty.

  They didn’t move, and the heaviness of their breathing echoed against the walls and low ceiling of the cavern.

  Susanna’s cheeks were flushed from the wind, her hair a tangle about her face. “Do you think we’ve fooled him?”

  “He won’t find us here.” At least Ben hoped not. With as many times as the lieutenant had already snooped around Arnold Tavern, if he’d suspected the room, he would have located it by now.

  And since they’d had to cease smuggling molasses into Weymouth, the cavern was nearly empty. Even so, the sweet sugary scent saturated the air, along with the dampness of the earth. The dark coldness of the room circled around them, leaving them without a means to thaw their frozen bodies.

  Susanna shuddered. Ben positioned the candle holder atop one of the barrels that remained, and he reached for her. He brushed the snow from her shoulders. Then he gently lifted her hood off her head and combed the loose wisps of her hair away from her face.

  She didn’t protest. Instead her eyes lifted to his with admiration shining in their depths. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you for helping us—even though you had every reason not to.”

  For all t
he bravado and false confidence he’d acquired over the years, he was unprepared for the surge of real assurance that came with her admiration. The spark in her eyes said she believed in him enough that she’d entrusted her life into his care. That knowledge was exhilarating and frightening at the same time.

  He couldn’t find the appropriate words to answer her. For once, he didn’t feel the need to hide behind his witty and sarcastic comments. In fact, words didn’t seem quite appropriate.

  Instead he tugged her closer.

  She stumbled against him.

  He wrapped his arms around her and drew her into a hug, and was surprised when she slipped her arms around his waist and laid her cheek against his chest.

  He let his lips brush against the silkiness of her loose hair. For a long moment, he just held her. They’d outrun the lieutenant. They were safe together. And they were still friends.

  Finally she pulled back and looked up at him. “What will we do next?”

  “I haven’t figured out the next step. But I will.”

  She shivered again. He grabbed one of the heavy wool blankets Mr. Arnold had given them. He handed one to Dotty, then draped the other around Susanna’s shoulders.

  “For now we’ll wait,” he said, lowering himself to the earthen floor and drawing her down next to him.

  She snuggled against him. For the first time since they’d shown up at his home, he allowed himself a deep breath.

  Dotty melted to the ground too, her face mirroring the exhaustion on Susanna’s. She rubbed a hand across the bulge in her abdomen as if attempting to comfort and reassure her unborn baby that they were safe and secure now.

  Ben took off his hat and leaned his head against the damp wall, the chill of it seeping into his blood. He held back a shudder.

  If only he could reassure the women of their safety. If only he could promise Dotty that she and her baby would survive and have a happy life.

  But regrettably, even if Dotty made it through the night without being captured, she was bound to face incredible difficulties in the days to come, as did most unwed mothers. Even if she wasn’t at fault for the pregnancy, no one would care. People would still blame her, as if somehow she’d had a choice in the matter.