“Yeah, I’m going to talk to him as soon as I get a chance.”
“Are you worried about how he might react?”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not seventeen anymore. I’m a grown woman. I can date anyone I want.”
“Yeah, but we’re not just dating. Are we?” Looking uncertain, he gestured between them. “Because this sure as hell doesn’t feel like dating to me. It feels like a lot more than that. You know I’ve already thought about my end game and I want—”
“I know what you want,” she said, raising her hand. “You’ve made that clear. And I want the same thing. I do. I just don’t see the need to rush things. You’re here for the next several months. We have plenty of time to figure this thing out.”
He scowled. “I’ve already figured out what I want. Haven’t you?”
She knew Chase wouldn’t be satisfied until they’d exchanged their vows, but she refused to jump into something without thinking it through. Marriage was a big deal to her, especially when she considered remarrying a man she’d already divorced because they couldn’t work out their differences.
“If it were just you and me, I may not be so cautious. But we have to consider how all of this is going to impact Cadence.”
“I am thinking about Cadence,” he said, sounding frustrated. “She wants us back together. She wants us to be a family. She wants a brother or sister. And I want to give her all those things. Don’t you?”
She wanted another chance with Chase more than anything, but she refused to jump the gun. She hoped every day they would get closer and fall into a nice routine of domesticity while he was staying with her. It would give her time to sort out the business and make plans for her father’s care.
Jayda needed Chase to be patient and understanding. She hoped that wasn’t asking too much of him. She’d made the mistake of putting her father and their business first once before, and she didn’t want him to think she was doing that again.
“I love you.” She felt that was the only thing she could say to remind him they had to keep their feelings for each other at the forefront of their minds as they sorted this situation out and found common ground. He was the only man she’d ever loved, but she suspected he already knew that. “More than I’ve ever loved anyone.”
“I know, but—”
“Please, just let me finish.” She stepped closer, needing to touch him. Taking his hands, she whispered, “I want you. I want to be with you every day and night, if possible. I love that you’re here. I love that you’re going to be spending all this time with me and our daughter.”
“But?”
“But I need a little more time.”
“Because you’re not sure about us?” he asked, looking hurt.
“Because I’m not sure how I’m going to honor my commitments here and make a new and even more meaningful commitment to you.” She’d tried being all things to all people once before and had failed miserably. She couldn’t allow that to happen again.
“You deserve a life of your own.” He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. “Dammit, I swore I wouldn’t get drawn into the same old argument with you again. I thought we were past this.”
“My father is sick. He’s not going to get better.” That fact saddened her, but she’d come to terms with it long ago. Every time she went with her father to see the specialist, the doctor reminded her that they were managing his disease because there was no cure.
“I know that, baby.”
“And I can’t just abandon him. Lord knows I can’t rely on Dillon to be there for him. He can’t even take care of himself. And Danny has a family of his own to take care of.”
“So. Do. You.”
Jayda could feel this escalating into a full-blown argument and that was the last thing she wanted, but she had to make him understand that finding a way to take care of her father was non-negotiable. “When my mother died—”
“You took her place, I know.”
“I wouldn’t say I took her place.” No one could have taken her mother’s place. She was one of a kind. “But I tried to do what she would have wanted me to. I tried to take care of things. For her. Because it was the one and only thing I could still do for her.” She cleared her throat, trying to push thoughts of her mom to the back of her mind so she wouldn’t get emotional.
“I get that.” He curled his hand around her neck, looking into her eyes. “And I love you even more for that. But this is supposed to be our time, isn’t it? Our second chance.”
“It is.” She rolled forward on her toes to kiss him. “It will be. It’ll just take a little time, babe. It’s not going to happen overnight.”
“I know.” He sighed. “Logically, I do know that. And I know the next few months will give us plenty of time to come up with a plan together, but I’m not gonna lie, I hate waiting.”
She smiled. He’d always been impatient, and that would never change. Chase wasn’t the kind of guy who’d ever been content to sit back waiting for things to happen.
“It won’t be forever, you know. And we are talking about the rest of our lives here. In the big scheme of things, a few months is nothing.” When he nodded, she said, “And we are living together. It’s not like it’s a hardship.”
“True.” He kissed her, moaning when she deepened the kiss. “But I’m not gonna lie, I’m scared, Jay.”
“Why are you scared?”
“I lost you once. I can’t go through that again. It would kill me.”
She wanted to promise him it would never happen, that they’d be together forever. But she knew the next few months would tell the real story. Had they really matured while they’d been apart? Had they learned the fine art of compromise? Were they any more compatible now than they’d been? Or were they both still determined to have their own way, no matter the cost? Those questions scared the hell out of her… mainly because she couldn’t answer them yet.
***
“Chase must be flying high,” her father said, leaning heavily on his walker as he stood in the doorway of her small, messy office.
“He is.” She smiled. “I’m so happy for him. For all of the guys, really.” She’d gotten to know Chase’s teammates over the past week and a half, and they were every bit as wonderful as he’d promised her they would be. “They earned it.”
“How did things go with you two while you were gone?” He wheeled his walker into the room and set it aside as he sat down across from her. “Did you spend much time with him?”
Jayda and her dad hadn’t had many heart-to-heart talks over the years. Most of their conversations had revolved around his health concerns and their business. But she knew this was her opportunity to level with him… about everything. “I did.”
“And?”
“We’re in a really good place. In fact, he’s spending the off-season with me and Cadence.”
“He’s living in your house?” he asked, sounding surprised.
“He is.” She raised an eyebrow. “Why? Do you have a problem with that?” Not that she cared if he did. She didn’t need his approval.
“I just think you need to be careful. He hurt you once before. He could do it again.”
“We hurt each other.”
“He signed that contract without talking to you first. Who does something like that?”
“A man who was desperate to save his marriage, I think,” she said. “He assumed if he didn’t give me a chance to say no to the move, I’d naturally go with him. I was his wife, after all. It was a reasonable assumption.”
“If you ask me, he took you for granted.”
“I didn’t ask you.” She’d never been afraid to stand up to her father, and it had never been more important for her to stand her ground. “I know you have strong opinions about Chase. So do I. But frankly, my opinion is the only one that matters right now.”
“Meaning you’re going to do whatever the hell you like, whether I like it or not.”
She touched her nose and pointed at him. �
��Bingo.” She smiled to soften the blow. “Dad, you know I love you and I’ll always be there for you, but it’s time for me to start living my own life.”
He looked resigned as he shook his head. “So what does that mean? You’re leaving? Going to be with him?”
“For the time being, I’m staying right here. Chase and I are going to take some time to figure things out. But I think we should consider the option of finding someone else to manage the garage.”
He scowled. “How could I trust anyone else? They wouldn’t be family.”
“No, they wouldn’t be. But we could find someone trustworthy and competent. Maybe we could even promote one of the guys in the shop. They’ve all been here long enough to know how things run.”
“It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind about leaving.”
“It’s a very real possibility,” she said, nodding. “And I think it’s only fair that I prepare you.”
He swallowed, his eyes failing to meet hers. “I sure am going to miss you and that little girl.”
“You could always come with us.”
He snorted. “Right. Chase would love that, wouldn’t he?”
“Chase wants me to be happy, and he knows I’m more content when I’m confident that you’re okay. So if you decided to come with us, I know he’d support that decision.”
“I need my own space,” he grumbled. “I don’t wanna be a burden to you. Well, any more than I already am.”
“You’re not a burden to me.” She walked around the desk and sat down next to him. As she reached for his hand, she offered a sad smile. “I hate that you’re suffering with this damn disease. I know that it’s been hard, watching your body betray you this way. But I think you’ve handled it with a lot of dignity.”
“Yeah, right.” He bit his lip as the hand beneath hers trembled. “All I’ve done is bitch and complain just about every day.”
“Yeah, but I was used to that,” she teased. She winked when he looked at her and smiled when he chuckled. “I really would love it if you came with us. We could set you up in a nice assisted living facility.”
“That sounds expensive.”
Her dad had too much pride to accept Chase’s help. She got her pride and her stubborn streak from him.
“There may be another alternative we haven’t considered,” she said.
“What’s that?”
“We could sell the shop.” The business, along with the land and living quarters, was worth a tidy sum. “It would give you more than enough money to live off of for a long time.”
“I don’t expect to be around that long,” he mumbled.
It hurt her heart to think of her father no longer being with them. As ornery as he could be at times, she loved him. “Don’t say that. Anyways, selling the shop would give you a sense of freedom you’ve never had. Don’t you think you deserve to retire?”
“What about Dillon?”
She sat up straighter, her back stiff. “What about him?”
“If we both leave, there will be no one here to help him when he gets out.”
“Until he decides to get serious about helping himself, I’m done with him.” She’d spent a great deal of time thinking about whether she could really leave her brother to sink or swim on his own, and she’d decided it was time.
“It’s not that easy for me,” her father said gruffly. “He’s my son. Your mama’s baby. How would she feel about us abandoning him?”
Jayda refused to feel guilty. “We’re not abandoning him. We’re forcing him to stand on his own two feet… something we should have done a long time ago.” When he didn’t look convinced, she said, “We’ve tried it the other way, Dad. It hasn’t worked. Look where he is now.”
“I know, but—”
“We’ve been there to pick him up every time he fell. We loved him unconditionally. No matter how much he hurt us, lied to us, stole from us, we were always there to support him. We gave him reason to believe we always would be. But I honestly think we did him a disservice by making him think there were no consequences to his actions.”
“I know we’ve been too easy on him.” He sighed. “It’s just hard for me to imagine him out on the streets. Some junkie with no one who gives a damn about him.”
“We’ll always love him,” Jayda said, squeezing his hand. “We’ll always care about what happens to him. But he has to start caring about himself too. We can’t go on pushing him to get clean and straighten his life out. He has to want to do that.”
“I know, you’re right.” He swiped a shaky hand over his mouth. “Have you thought about what you’ll do if you go with Chase? Will you get a job in another shop? It wouldn’t be hard. You’re a hell of a mechanic and manager.”
“Thanks.” Her father didn’t dole praise out often, so she appreciated it every time he did. “But no, I don’t think I’ll look for work in another shop.”
He gave her a shaky smile. “Your days of being a grease monkey are over, huh?”
She laughed. “I’ll probably always fix my own cars. Maybe even Chase’s if he’s lucky. But yeah, I think it’s time to start a new chapter. Maybe go back to school. I’ve been thinking about that.”
“Good for you.” He squeezed her knee before withdrawing his hand. “I know you’ve always wanted to get a degree. But this business about you and Miller living in sin doesn’t sit too well with me. I’m an old-fashioned guy, you know. I don’t think people ought to live together without being married.”
Jayda grinned. “Dad, get with it. Everybody lives together before they get married now.”
“Yeah, but you two have already been married. You’ve known each other for years. If you’re not sure about him now, you never will be.”
Jayda considered her father’s words and wondered if he was right. Maybe she was being too cautious. “Chase wants to get remarried. The sooner, the better, as far as he’s concerned.”
“So what’s the holdup?”
“It’s all just happening so fast. I want to be sure this is the right thing to do. For my sake as well as for Cadence’s. I couldn’t stand to see her get hurt again.”
“You ever think maybe you shouldn’t have been so quick to divorce him?”
Only every day. “Yeah sure, but there’s no sense dwelling on that, is there? What’s done is done.”
“You divorced him without thinking twice. Yet you’re reluctant to remarry him. Why is that?”
Good question. “I’m not sure. Maybe I’m not as impulsive or stupid as I was then.”
“You know, your mama and I used to talk about all the things we wanted to do when you kids were grown up and out of the house. We’d sell the business and retire. We wanted to buy one of those big RVs and travel, see the country. Maybe even drive up to Canada.”
She remembered those quiet conversations about the future. They’d always make her mother smile as she imagined the possibilities. “I remember how much she wanted to do that.”
“But she never got the chance, did she?”
“No.”
There were so many things her mother had wanted to do. So many dreams she’d put off, believing she had all the time in the world to make them come true. She wanted to finish her teaching degree when her kids were older. Go back to work. Volunteer. Learn to crochet. Trace her family history. Ride a bike again. Roller skate like she did when she was a teen. Run a marathon. But there never seemed to be enough time for any of those things. She’d been so busy taking care of everyone else, she forgot to take care of herself. Kind of like Jayda.
“Don’t make the same mistakes she did, darlin’.” Her father shocked her by leaning in to kiss her cheek. “Don’t waste today making plans for tomorrow.”
Chapter Seventeen
Chase was stunned when the doorbell rang and he opened the door to find Jayda’s father standing on the other side. He looked at the curb and saw a familiar white van sitting there. The driver, Bill’s long-time friend, waved before he pulled away.
“No, of course not.” Chase stepped back, resisting the urge to take Bill’s arm. He seemed to have it under control as he navigated the walker over the threshold.
“Jayda told me you were staying here with her.”
“Yeah. Uh, you’ve probably heard that they’re turning my old apartment building into condos.”
“So why not buy a house?” Bill guided the walker between furniture and sank down on his daughter’s sofa with a heavy sigh before wiping his forehead.
“I thought about it, but houses are a little too high maintenance. An apartment or condo is easier to care for when I’m not here all that much.”
“You think you guys will want to keep this house?” He looked around. “Assuming you plan to come back to visit during the off-season.”
Ah, so Jayda had talked to her father about their plans. Good, that meant that she wasn’t trying to avoid the discussion to spare her dad’s feelings. “I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it yet. But if Jay wants to keep this place, I’m good with that. Whatever makes her happy.”
“I’m glad to hear that you’re putting her feelings first this time.”
Chase supposed he deserved that dig. Bill hadn’t had a chance to vent to Chase when he learned he and Jayda were getting a divorce. Chase suspected he was about to take his pound of flesh now though. He’d willingly give it if it meant they could reach an understanding.
“We all make mistakes, Bill. You’re no exception. But I’ve learned from mine. From now on, nothing is more important to me than Jayda and Cadence.”
He gave Chase a long, level look before he asked, “Do I have your word on that?”
“I didn’t think my word held much weight with you.” He sat on the chair across from Bill, preparing for a long, drawn-out conversation that would hopefully address the real issue—why his former father-in-law had always hated him.
“It didn’t. But I can see that you’re trying to change. You dropped everything when you found out Jayda and Cadence needed you. That says a lot about where your priorities are now.”
Make Up Call (Summer Rush #3) Page 17