Torn to Pieces

by Harper Ashley

Just great, how am I going to come up with an answer that justifies in any capacity why Alec would leave guy's night, drive across town, and insist on taking me home. Even more, why the hell I went willingly.

  Jo: Ha Ha, very funny. There is no great mystery here, I was just tired.

  The three dots pop up quickly.

  V: Mmmhm, and I'm Miss America. I may have been drunk but I'm def not blind. Something fishy is going on with you and stepbrother dearest.

  I cringe at the accusation.

  Jo: One, he isn't my stepbrother. Two, nothing fishy is going on. Three, I am actually starving so if you really want to grab lunch that sounds great.

  V: Meet me at the deli in fifteen?

  I send back the thumbs up emoji and head for the Jeep parked outside.

  "Spill it." V demands once we've sat down at the small bistro table in the back corner of the deli.

  "There’s nothing to tell." I say, but I worry that my reddening face is giving me away.

  "Connor said as soon as he mentioned I had taken you to the docks Alec paid off his tab and told them guy's night was over. Then, he shows up and pretty much beats his chest like a gorilla to scare off Caleb. When I first met you things were pretty much the polar opposite between you two... then you leave with him? Come on, something is going on."

  I stare at her, my mouth open as I try to think of something- anything to say that won't sound like bullshit.

  "Might want to close your mouth before a bug flies in there." V rolls her eyes and laughs. "There’s obviously some major chemistry happening under that roof of yours, but don't worry. Your dirty little secret is safe with me." She winks, and I’m stunned.

  "It's not- Well you see... It's not that simple." I fumble my words around and V laughs at me again.

  "Seriously, chill out. No judgement here. I don't exactly get what you see in him, but it's not my place to have an opinion."

  I want to leap across the table and hug her. Hug her for being so normal about this.

  "He's not the same with me, he's- he's kind... and gentle. He's warm and affectionate. Trust me, when we first met I thought he was the world's biggest asshole. In reality, he's kind of the opposite." I find myself defending him to someone that probably knows him better than I do. She's clearly known him longer, but I have to believe that I know the real Alec Miller better than she does.

  "Damn, you've got it bad."

  I sigh and bury my face in my hands, "Tell me about it."

  "Are you like, dating? Or just roommates with benefits?" V asks, and I shrug.

  "To be completely honest, I don't think either of us know what we are, or what we want to come out of this. We almost hooked up the night we met, before we knew who the other one was. That night we figured it out, and we tried to leave what almost happened in the past... it was just too hard. It's like gravity pulls us back towards each other, it's inevitable." As terrified as I am that someone really knows about Alec and I, it feels so good to be able to talk about this to a friend.

  "Forbidden love and dark family secrets, sounds very Shakespearean."

  I laugh at her little joke, but she kind of has a point. "Let’s just hope this story doesn't end up with poison or daggers to the heart."

  We finish our salads, and to my surprise V changes the subject to something much less taboo. We discuss her relationship with Connor, the wedding, and of course school. In this moment, I am so thankful for this newfound friendship.

  ∞∞∞

  When I get back home Alec's car still isn't in the driveway. That nagging voice in the back of my mind tells me to text him, to find out where he is and ask when he’ll be back… but I tell her to get a grip and stay quiet up there.

  Instead, I curl up on the sofa in the den and flip through Amazon trying to find something to watch. I settle on Game of Thrones and snuggle up under a blanket. Just as the beginning credits begin to play I hear the front door open and close, and a few seconds later Alec plops down onto the couch at my feet.

  "Hey there." He says, making my heart rate instantly skyrocket.

  I frantically look towards the door making sure no one is around. "What are you doing?" I ask him, and he smiles.

  "There’s nothing suspicious about watching TV together, Jo. Just relax."

  He's right, there is nothing odd about what is happening. If Mom or Sean walked by it would look totally normal, just two people watching Game of Thrones.

  His hand wraps around my calf under the blanket and we watch an intense battle scene in silence. It’s nice to do something so normal, something that requires zero sneaking around. Our only secret here is the way his thumb is innocently tracing tiny circles on my leg. You'd think watching a horde of undead corpses attack my favorite characters would be a mood killer, but in reality spending time with Alec like this only makes me want him more.

  It makes me happy that he wants to be around me, to just sit in silence with me. It breaks my heart that we can't do things like this more often, and that we can be open about what is happening between us. I’m relieved that Veronica knows about us, that at least I have one person that I can call tomorrow and tell about this moment. It makes me hungry for more... I want more of this. I want more of the stolen kisses and scandalous rendezvous, but I also want more of the normal couple stuff. I want to go on a date, a real date where we don't give a shit who sees us together.

  All the various thoughts and emotions flooding my head are exhausting, and it doesn't take long before my eyelids begin to flutter. I let out a yawn, and then a quick kiss is pressed against my cheek.

  "Goodnight, Jo." His voice is basically a whisper. He retreats back to his side of the couch and goes back to watching the episode. I know there is a smile on my face as I drift to sleep, and I dream of Alec Miller. I dream of a world where our parents aren't getting married, and where we meet in some totally cliche way with no baggage or unsavory circumstances. It's a classic story of a boy meeting a girl and them both realizing they are crazy for each other.

  Sweet Dreams indeed.

  Chapter Twenty

  I wake up to the sound of the vacuum cleaner and let out a loud groan, cursing whoever is behind the horrible noise.

  "Jesus, what time is it?" I grumble, covering my face with the blanket.

  "You don't get to complain about being woken up when you sleep in the family room, Josephine."

  Mom. I groan again and throw the blanket off my body. "I must’ve fallen asleep watching TV, sorry."

  A flashback of the night before causes me to look down towards the other side of the couch, no Alec. He must’ve gone back to his room after I passed out.

  "What time is it?" I ask her, stretching my arms above my head.

  "It's still early, it's only eight. I’ve been stress cleaning since the sun came up."

  I offer her a sympathetic smile, "Please stop stressing so much, it's going to be great. We have crossed all our T's and dotted all our I's."

  Mom returns my gesture and shrugs, "Maybe I'll finally be relaxed when it's time to walk down the aisle. Anyways, what are your plans today?"

  Good question, as of right now the answer is a whole lot of nothing. "No plans, I kind of want to hit the beach. I may see what Allie is up to."

  She nods and tells me to have fun, then goes back to obsessively vacuuming perfectly straight lines into the plush carpet. A giggle escapes my lips as I pass by her, this has always been one of her quirks. I guess there are worse things she could be using as an outlet for stress.

  Upstairs I find Allie sprawled out on her bed with headphones in, bopping her head and kicking her feet to the beat. I knock on the door frame and she pulls out on the headphones, "Oh hey!"

  "Hey, what are you up to today?" I ask her.

  "Other than my daily FaceTime with Drake my plans are nonexistent. You?"

  That earns a smile from me. I couldn't be happier that they hit it off so well. "Same here, well minus the video chat with Drake part. Want to go to the beach?"

  She
nods enthusiastically and we plan on leaving in an hour. When I get back into my bedroom I shoot a quick text to Alec.

  Jo: Going to the beach with Allie today, hope to see you later. ;)

  I jump in the shower and throw on my bathing suit, deciding on a lavender bikini that still has the tags on it. Before walking downstairs to meet Allie in the kitchen I check my phone again, no response from Alec. That doesn't surprise me though, he's probably still asleep.

  We climb into the Jeep and head for the beach, a cooler of waters and sandwiches inside in tow. The plan is to spend most of the day there in hopes to soak up as much Summer sun as possible before school starts back up. Plus, I want as much glow as I can get for the wedding pictures. The weather is perfect and our regular spot is relatively empty. We lay out the towels and spray each other down with tanning lotion.

  As the hours pass, we set alarms on our phones so that we remember to flip onto our stomachs and then back over. The last thing either of us needs is to have awkward tan lines from too much sun on one side of our body. The audio-book I’m currently listening to on Audible fills my ears and I’m completely relaxed. This move has turned out to be the farthest thing from a disaster, and I can't wipe the permanent grin off my face.

  ∞∞∞

  We pull back up to the house just as the sun begins to lower, leaving the sky an incredible painting of oranges, purples and pinks. I’ve tried to avoid clicking on my phone every five minutes to check for a response from Alec, but at this point I can't help it. An overwhelming sense of unease has been bubbling for the last hour or so. He should’ve responded by now, there’s no way he’s still asleep. Is he okay? Did something happen?

  "You okay? You seem really distracted all the sudden." Allie asks as we exit the car.

  "Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Just thinking, sorry."

  His car isn't here.

  Allie must have seen my eyes scanning the driveway and she raises an eyebrow. "My brother, right?"

  My cheeks redden.

  "He, uhm... well he hasn't said anything to me today. I didn't expect him to be gone when we got back I guess."

  She clicks her tongue and shakes her head. "So this is a thing now? You and Alec?"

  How to even begin to answer that?

  "Not officially, no. I think we like each other... but obviously it's more complicated than that."

  She stops walking and turns to face me full on, her bullshit meter. "You think you like each other?"

  I bite the inside of my cheek. "Okay, we know we like each other. That doesn't change how fucked up all this is." I look down at my phone again. "Or the fact that he has ghosted me all day."

  Allie wraps her arm around me. "I'm sure he has a reason. I can't say I approve, but he'd be stupid to mess up with you. You’re the complete opposite of anyone he's ever gone for, and I think that could be a good thing."

  My stomach lurched a little bit. I'd only ever seen him with one other girl, Cass. It’s obvious there were no similarities between us that much I was sure about.

  "You don't approve?" I ask quietly.

  She gives me a small smile, "Not really, Jo. No. Even if you weren't about to become my step sister, I don't want to see you get hurt. I don't know though, I haven't seen you together. Maybe things really are different with you, but until I know that I can't say that I'm on board with this. You understand, right?"

  I nod. I do, I totally get it. She has zero reason to believe that this thing with her brother is going to end well. Hell, I have zero reason to believe it. I just have hope.

  "Hey, want me to text him? I can come up with a reason?" Allie offers, but I shake my head.

  "No, that's okay. If he wants me to know where he is he'll let me know."

  She nods, and we begin walking back towards the house again.

  "Good call. Want to watch a movie or something?" She asks.

  "I think I'm going to take a bath. I want to wash this sunscreen off. Maybe later?"

  Once I make it to my room and strip off my suit I force myself not to send another text. I set my phone on the floor next to the bathtub and turn up the volume, then click onto my bath time Spotify playlist. The water fills the tub and I slide into the steaming hot water.

  How had I gone from hating him, to feeling sorry for him, to wanting him... and now to caring about him. Deeply. This roller-coaster of emotions was giving me whiplash.

  The sound of my phone ringing jarred me from my thoughts and I jumped to it so quickly that water splashed everywhere.

  Seeing Alec's name on the screen throws me for a loop.

  He's calling me? I slide my finger to the right and press the phone to my ear.

  Jo: Hello?

  Alec: Shut up, I can't hear!

  Wherever he is, it's loud. I can hear voices all around him, and the faint hum of music in the background.

  Jo: Alec?

  Alec: Yeah, I'm here. Sorry for the radio silence today, I came to talk shit out with Nate.

  His was slurring pretty bad.

  Alec: We're cool, but he invited people over and a party kind of sprung up. Hey, uh you think you can come get me? I don't think I should drive.

  Jesus. I pull out the plug from the bath and let the water drain.

  Jo: You definitely don't sound like you should drive. You don't want to stay there tonight?

  I hear a whiny feminine voice on the other end.

  Alec, why the hell are you trying to leave? You're supposed to be my partner this round.

  Oh, hell no.

  Jo: Send me the address, I'm on my way.

  Alec: Really? You don't mind? I'm sorry if I'm fucking up your night.

  I can't help but smile.

  But then the voice is back and my smile disappears. This time the mystery girl is dialing up the heat. I can almost picture her attempting to drag him back into the party and away from his phone conversation with me.

  Just hang up and come with me, you don't need to leave. Don't you want to-

  I clear my throat abruptly, having no desire to let her finish that sentence.

  Jo: No, it's fine. The address?

  Alec: Yeah, I'm sending it now.

  My phone beeps signaling that I've received the location.

  Alec: Cass, please. I'm on the phone.

  You have got to be kidding me.

  The line goes dead and I don't think I've ever gotten dressed so fast in my life.

  I want to be angry. How can I? He called me. If he wanted her he could have easily taken her, and I would have never known.

  I repeat that sentiment to myself the entire way there.

  I don't care that he didn't text me all day, and I don't care that he went to a party. All I care about is that when he did stop to think for a moment about how he wanted the night to play out, he thought of me.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  You have reached your destination. My GPS exclaims as I pull up to Nate's house. There are dozens of cars parked along the street in front of the house. I pull out my phone and call Alec, hoping that he is expecting me and waiting.

  No answer.

  I shoot him a quick text letting him know I’m outside, but there comes no response.

  Fuck.

  I look down at my appearance and groan. I left in such a hurry, and the last thing I want to do is walk inside to find him. I'm wearing a pair of plaid Victoria's Secret pajama shorts and a white tank top. I did, thankfully, put on a bra before I left. However, my hair is piled on top of my head in a messy bun and all my makeup had already been washed off.

  I try to call once more before biting the bullet and heading inside.

  "Jo! What are you doing here?" I hear Kurt's friendly voice, and not long after I’m wrapped in a bear hug.

  "Oh, hey! I'm here to pick up Alec, have you seen him?"

  Kurt points towards the kitchen. "Last I saw he was playing beer pong in there."

  I give him a smile and thank him.

  On my way to the kitchen, I spot Nate leaning against th
e wall talking to a pretty brunette and our eyes meet. He gives me a cautious smile, and I return it. We haven't spoken since the incident, and I hope that we can move past it. Even if he was interested in more with me at one point in time, I still value the friendship that we were in the process of building.

  In the kitchen, I find Alec at the beer pong table just as Kurt said. He’s mid throw, and a scantily clad Cass is at his side. When the ball rang the cup she threw her arms around his waist and beamed up at him with congratulations.

  My skin’s on fire.

  I storm over to him to announce myself.

  "Alec." I say through gritted teeth.

  His eyes light up when he sees me, "There she is!"

  "Here I am." I reply, averting my gaze to Cass.

  She looks me up and down. "Nice outfit, off to a slumber party?"

  Yep. I hate her.

  I manage a laugh just to spite her and try to think of a clever retort, but I have nothing. I’m seeing red, and I just want to get Alec and get out of here.

  "You ready?" I ask him, and right as he begins to nod, Cass wraps her hand around his bicep.

  "Uh no? What the hell. We're in the middle of a game."

  That whiny voice was back. Did she really think that worked on guys? It was repulsive if you ask me.

  "Oh shit, right. Do you mind if we finish up? Shouldn't be long, we're creaming them."

  He had to be joking. The goofy grin on his face made it clear he had no clue I was seething.

  I click my tongue. "Sure, I guess that's fine.".

  Cass turns up her over-lined lips in a smirk as if to say she'd won, and I just roll my eyes. As much as I may want to put her in her place, she’s not worth it.

  I sit on a bar stool and watch as they make a swift victory over the two guys on the opposing team, or I should say as Alec made a swift victory. He carried the team. I think Cass made one cup the entire game.

  Once they were finished, I hopped down and returned to meet him.

  "Now are you ready?"

  He smiles and nods, and I turn to head towards the door.

  Once outside, I realized freaking Cass followed us. Please tell me she didn't think I was their taxi for the night? This bitch can call an Uber.