Love on the Free Side

by Mariah Ankenman

  “Sometimes when we love people, we do what we think is best for them instead of asking what they really want.”

  His uncle’s words roared in his mind, over and over.

  Had he ever thought of what Jamie would have wanted? Did he speak with her at all about their future? No, he’d made the rash decision based on his own feelings.

  Mierda! What an asshole.

  He hadn’t been protecting her; he’d been saving face. Because, if he was truly honest, it hadn’t been Jamie he wanted to protect, but himself. Deep down, he’d feared she would realize she had so much more to offer. With all those smart, rich, college men surrounding her, he knew she could eventually find someone more suited to her. Better for her. That was why he’d broken it off. To save face. To protect his heart.

  “No wonder she hates me.”

  Shame spiraled like a cyclone inside him. Shifting gears, he pulled out of the lot, heading back to town. Jamie said she’d be waiting at Cupcakes Above the Clouds. He had a lot of groveling to do.

  Seven years’ worth.

  Good thing he was headed to the best place in town for an apology. A few of Maggie’s sinfully sugary cupcakes would soften her up toward forgiving him. Diamonds might be a girl’s best friend, but in Peak Town, cupcakes were the way to get out of the doghouse.

  He turned down Main Street, a tiny voice in his head telling him it would take a lot more than sweet words and sugary pastries to garner Jamie’s forgiveness. He thought back to the way he would apologize after they fought when they had been dating. A smile curved his lips at the R-rated memories.

  Today, he’d start with cupcakes, and then, if she was willing, he’d try for a NC-17 apology this time.

  Chapter 15

  Heavenly flavors exploded on Jamie’s tongue as she bit into the Peppermint Perfection cupcake. Since she was alone in her office of the ranch house, she did nothing to stop the moan of ecstasy from escaping her throat. If she was of the persuasion, she’d try to steal Maggie away from Colton just so she could have unlimited access to the cupcake maker’s talents.

  “Oh my sweet delectable morsel, how I’ve missed you.” The cupcake said nothing as she shoved the rest into her mouth.

  She glanced longingly at the empty box. Yesterday, it had been filled with half a dozen of the scrumptious desserts. Now, they were all gone. Pity, but for the best. One more sugar bomb and she’d be bouncing off the walls. Not good. She needed a calm and level head to deal with today’s mountain of work.

  A level head was also required to ponder the motives of the giver of the—now devoured—delicious treats.

  Yesterday, after chatting with Lizzy and Maggie at the shop, Tony had arrived to pick her up. Something about him had been off. She didn’t know if something happened with his uncle or if it was something else, but he’d behaved…strangely. Then, after ushering her out to his truck, he’d popped back in the store to—according to him—“place a special order.” She figured it had been for his uncle.

  Lo and behold that evening, an hour after he left—after helping repair the weak spots in her fencing and fixing a few broken locks on the sheds out back—Maggie arrived at her doorstep with a box of cupcakes and a knowing smile on her face. Her old boss said nothing, just handed off the delivery and left. Cupcakes Above the Clouds didn’t even do delivery! Not normally.

  Jamie swiveled back and forth in her office chair. Her fingers reached out to grasp the card that came with the cupcakes, reading the scrawled handwriting for the hundredth time.

  Jamie,

  A little something for you to enjoy. You deserve it, and so much more. I know they’re your favorite.

  Tony

  They were her favorite. They were also a seasonal item, which Tony also knew, having worked at the cupcake shop for a few years. So, how did he convince Maggie to whip up a batch just for her…and why? What game was he playing at now? And what was with the whole deserving statement? The guy dropped her like a hot potato years ago. Now, not only was she forced to work with him, but he was sexier than ever, helpful as all get out, and sending her signals she could not handle or decipher at the moment.

  “Ahhhhhhhh! I can’t deal with this right now.” Tossing the note onto her desk, she thunked her head down on the solid oak. “Ow.”

  Note to self: desk harder than head.

  Shoving her relationship—or whatever—drama away for another day, she lifted her head, rubbing at the slight throbbing spot in the center.

  Yeah, real smart move with that one, Jamie.

  Okay, time to get to work. She had a ton to do, starting with a call to her former mentor and boss.

  Forgoing her cell—reception could be spotty in the mountains, and she didn’t want to drop an important call like this—she picked up the landline on her desk and dialed. One thing to be said for keeping it old school, it forced you to remember numbers. Once she pushed the last digit in, the sound of ringing came over the line. Two chimes in and the phone picked up.

  “Doctor Bell’s office.”

  Her lips curled in a smile at the familiar voice. “Hey, Trevor. It’s Jamie.”

  “Jamie,” the receptionist’s squeaky voice brightly responded.

  Poor Trevor, the guy sounded perpetually stuck in puberty even though he turned twenty-four last month.

  “It is so good to hear from you. How are you?” he asked.

  “Doing fine. Getting all set up out here. Excited and, to be perfectly honest, a little bit nervous.”

  “You’ll do great,” the man encouraged. “But if things don’t work out, you’ll always have a place here. Doctor Bell promised.”

  Her old boss had said as much. When she told him she was leaving to open her ranch, he’d asked her to reconsider, wanted her to stay on and join his practice, but she politely declined. Working with Doctor Richard Bell had been an amazing experience, but she wanted to do this. Needed to do this. This therapy ranch was her dream, her calling. If she failed, so be it. At least she could say she tried.

  The encouraging words were almost verbatim of what Tony had told her just the other day.

  Great, not only is he back in my life, on my property, working for my business, he’s also in my head.

  Shaking her head, she brushed thoughts of Tony aside and turned her focus back to the matter at hand.

  “Thanks, Trevor. I’ll keep that in mind. Speaking of Doctor Bell, do you know if he sent that paperwork I asked for?”

  “Hold on.” Shuffling came over the line followed by a bit of static.

  “Trevor? Hello?”

  “S-sorry, ho-hold on. I…to…stupid…”

  Pulling the phone away from her ear, she glanced at it, then rolled her eyes when she remembered it wasn’t a cell and wouldn’t tell her how many bars she had. “Because there are no service bars with landlines, dummy.”

  “Jamie? You still there?”

  Placing the phone back to her ear, she spoke, “Yeah. Yes, I’m here. What happened?”

  “Sorry. Um, I have no idea. There’s a new yoga shop opening next door. Maybe the technician messed up the phone lines when installing their line or something.” Trevor swore under his breath, but she heard it. “Dang phone’s been acting crazy all week.”

  She chuckled, envisioning the thin, slightly nerdy looking man holding a middle finger up to the phone as he’d often done when she’d worked there. “That stinks.”

  “Yeah, anyway, I don’t see any note or anything about sending you files. Did Doctor Bell say he would?”

  Slumping in her chair, she sighed. “Yes, he did. And I need them ASAP. Is he there? Can I talk to him or is he in a session right now?”

  “Oh, gee. He’s away at a conference. He won’t be back until next week.”

  “Next week!” But she needed those files now. They were patient files on the incoming campers. The only reason she hadn’t brought them with her was because Rick agreed to review them and give her notes and advice for each camper’s therapy. How could he have forgott
en?

  “Darn, I guess I’ll try him on his cell.”

  “He doesn’t have it.”

  “What?” Who didn’t carry their cell phone on them these days? Most people only had a cell. “Why not?”

  “He dropped it the other day. The store is fixing the damage, but he won’t get it ’til after he gets back.”

  A small ache started to pound in her brain. Doctor Bell was an amazing psychologist, but a notorious klutz. “Do you have the number of where he’s staying?”

  “No.” She could almost hear him wince over the phone. “I’m so sorry, but he said this conference was too important to be interrupted. I’m supposed to hold all his messages until he returns. Are you mad?”

  Poor, sweet Trevor. The guy hated to upset people. When she first started working at the clinic, he’d asked her out. After she politely refused—because they worked together and there was absolutely no attraction on her end—the timid guy had apologized for weeks. He hated making people uncomfortable.

  “No, Trevor. I’m not mad.” Not at him anyway. “Can you tell Doctor Bell when he gets back to send me those files ASAP. Overnight them. I’ll pay for the charge.”

  “Will do. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure the doc gets billed for it. He should have taken care of this for you.” A small, harsh bite entered his voice.

  Odd, she’d never known Trevor to have a temper. The poor guy must be overwhelmed. A tiny fissure of guilt picked at her. She knew leaving the office would create some upheaval while Rick found her replacement, but she’d given more than adequate notice. Hopefully, the chaos wasn’t too much for the kind, if a bit awkward, assistant to handle.

  “Thanks, Trevor.”

  She hung up, weight pressing down on her like a lead balloon. Did everything have to go wrong? Everyone knew starting a business was hard, but good grief, she hadn’t expected every little thing to bite her in the butt. Did other people have this much trouble or was she just cursed?

  “Jamie? You in here?”

  And right on time, another complication to the unbalanced tower that was her life at the moment.

  “Back here,” she called to Tony.

  The too-sexy-for-his-own-good man arrived in her office doorway moments later. His gaze roamed over the room, landing on the empty cupcake box. A smile tilted his lips, revealing those twin dimples that never failed to get her heart racing.

  Stupid, sexy dimples.

  “I see you got my present. Did you like them?”

  Ignoring his question, she asked one of her own. “How did you get Maggie to make a holiday special at the beginning of summer?”

  The grin widened, and he bobbed his eyebrows. “I have my ways.”

  Boy did he ever. Back when she’d been a fresh-faced nineteen year old, those ways had talked her out of her panties and let him put his head between her legs at the drive-in where anyone and everyone could have seen if they looked close enough. The things this man did to her.

  Used to do to you.

  He didn’t anymore. Nope, no way.

  She glanced at him leaning against the door jam, faded jeans molded to his legs like a second skin, outlining his very—ahem—endowed asset. A blue flannel lay open over a black T-shirt that may as well have been painted on those delicious muscles that had only grown since she’d last seen them. Did he have to look so incredibly yummy? She just ate three cupcakes, how could she be so darn hungry all of a sudden?

  Groaning, she dropped her head to the desk again, holding in the moan this time as she welcomed the pain. At least it distracted her from the sexy man she absolutely should not start something with…again.

  “Something wrong, bonita?”

  Ignoring the nickname, she grasped for an explanation for her despondent behavior. Good thing she didn’t have to reach too far.

  “My boss was supposed to send me some files I needed for the campers, but he hasn’t, and he’s incommunicado for the next week.”

  “Hmm, that’s not very professional.”

  The man had a good point.

  “Was he upset with you when you left?”

  Raising her head, she glanced at him, confused by his question. “No. I mean, he wasn’t happy I was leaving. He wanted me to stay and…work with him.”

  Truthfully, Rick had wanted more, much like Trevor, but again, she’d politely explained her non-fraternization with coworkers rule. It went double for bosses.

  Tony eyed her, speculative gleam entering those sinfully chocolate eyes. Years ago, he could make her spill her deepest, darkest secrets with just a glance.

  Well, it’s not going to work anymore, buddy. Nope, no way, no how.

  She was immune; she was a rock; she was…opening her mouth to explain about Rick and—

  Bing!

  The chime of her text message alert brought her mind back into focus.

  Saved by the text!

  Tearing her gaze away from Tony she glanced down at her phone.

  —Dammit Jamie just fucking call me!—

  Ugh, her ex. Real charming. He really knew how to get a lady to respond. Hitting the delete button, she tucked her phone away.

  “Your former boss?”

  Her head snapped up at the question. He had the gleam in his eye. The one that said he wanted to know all her secrets.

  Well, too bad. He gave up that right long ago.

  “No. Not my former boss.”

  He waited. Patient as stone.

  Silence filled the air. She hated silence. Too much quiet and her brain started to scream at her to fill the void. A bad habit she’d had since childhood and had never managed to break. You’d think as a psychologist she’d do well with silence, or at least learn how to manage it. Even psychologist had their hang ups.

  “It was my ex,” she relented, knowing he would stand there all day until she explained. “He’s…persistent. He wants to talk, presumably to get back together, but that’s not happening.”

  “Why not?”

  Angry because he stood there making her reveal things she wanted to keep personal, making her feel things she didn’t want to feel, she lashed out. “He did something to break my trust. I kind of have a little thing about trusting people. Can’t imagine where that comes from.”

  Tony scrubbed a large hand over his face at the dig she hurled his way. Immature? Maybe, but her emotions had been pulled this way and that for the past few days. Yellowstone had nothing on her—she was a geyser of volcanic activity waiting to blow.

  “Jamie.” He stepped into the room, face set with determination. “We need to talk.”

  Oh no, the dreaded four words.

  Nothing good came after those words. Last time Tony spoke those words, her heart broke into a million pieces.

  She steeled herself against what was to come, wondering if he’d come back into her life to finish the job.

  Chapter 16

  Tony stared at Jamie. Her sweet round face lined with tension and—if he wasn’t mistaken—trepidation. He hated that he was the cause of such inner turmoil for her. All he’d ever wanted to do in life was make her happy, protect her. But as his uncle so helpfully pointed out yesterday, controlling someone else’s life by taking away their choice in a matter rarely protected them.

  Seemed to just piss them off.

  “Jamie,” he sighed, prepared to eat seven years’ worth of crow. At least he was a chef—he could make it palatable. “I wanted to apologize.”

  Her nose rose slightly in the air. “For?”

  Damn, she wasn’t going to make this easy on him. Couldn’t blame her. He deserved every bit of ire she threw his way.

  “For the way I ended things. Between us.” When she said nothing, he continued. “All those years ago I…shit, I saw how amazing you were—are—and I couldn’t drag you down anymore.”

  Some of the anger left her face. “Drag me down?”

  “Yeah.” He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “You were at Harvard, taking classes from some of the most brillian
t professors in the world. The world at your fingertips, any opportunity you wanted. You’re brilliant, and I was just some nobody kitchen boy.”

  She pushed back her chair, standing. Coming around the desk, she didn’t stop until she stood a few inches from him. “You aren’t a nobody, Tony. You never were. Good grief, look at all you’ve accomplished since you came to this country. You went from working part-time in a small mountain town to owning two of the most successful restaurants in New York City.”

  The guise of awe on her face humbled him. The soft smile she sent his way nearly took his feet out from under him.

  “That’s pretty brilliant from where I’m standing.”

  “I’m not downplaying what I have achieved, or looking for accolades.” Damn nice to hear them coming from her, though. “I worked hard to get where I am, and I know you did, too.”

  “Yes, I did.”

  And here came the apology. “But I knew, back then, I was getting in your way. If we had stayed together, you would have sacrificed too much. Given up opportunities for me, and I couldn’t let you do that. That’s why I broke up with you. To save you from bad decisions.”

  Okay, more of an explanation than a true apology, but she got where he was coming from, hopefully.

  “Save me from…bad decisions?”

  Uh oh. The tiny vein on her neck that turned purple when she got mad started throbbing. The green line started to change into a purplish hue. Mierda! Maybe he hadn’t phrased that right. He wished he could blame it on the language barrier, but he’d been speaking English since he was five.

  “You were going to give up that internship for me,” he rushed on, reminding her in case she forgot.

  Jaw clenched tight, she spoke through her teeth. “No. I decided to give up the internship because I was falling behind in my classes and wanted to take a break over the summer. I told you that.”

  Had she? It was so long ago, he couldn’t really remember the specifics of their conversation, only the devastation he felt after.