Becoming Faith

by Joy Eileen

  When we reached Kill, my dad kissed my cheek, hugging Kill before handing me over. My dad moved to stand behind D and the rest of the boys, standing beside Kill. Jet contorted his face, and I giggled. Kill squeezed my hand, garnering my full attention and snatching my breath. He leaned in, his scent blanketing me.

  “You look amazing.”

  My heart hammered against my ribcage.

  “Breathe, Slick.”

  I exhaled loudly, not realizing I was holding my breath. Kill chuckled, helping me into position.

  “I love you,” I mouthed to him before the minister started.

  “I love you more,” he mouthed back.

  We both wrinkled our noses when the minister opened his mouth. The smell of alcohol assaulted us. Our heads did a synchronized swivel to the man marrying us.

  He was a short, chubby man with thick glasses. His huge brown suit sagged around his large frame. His glassy brown eyes glistened, and they reminded me of whiskey. I bit my lip to stop from snorting. Whiskey was a very good descriptor for his eyes and his breath.

  I looked back at Kill and noticed his face scrunched together, trying to hold in his laughter. It took all I had not to burst into giggles. Leave it to us to be married in slurring tones. The mood did shift when Kill and I recited our vows to one another. The drunken minister forgotten, we pledged ourselves to each other.

  I jumped when the applause sounded around us when we were announced as husband and wife. My whole focus had been on Kill and I forgot there were people around us witnessing our union.

  Before we could bask in new status, the photographer whisked us away.

  “Last one,” the photographer announced.

  “Thank fuck,” Jet and I muttered together.

  The photographer was determined to get all the pictures. My feet ached and I didn’t want to imagine what they would have felt like if Kill hadn’t rubbed them earlier.

  When we were dismissed, we were bombarded by guests. Ray and his wife, Jean, were the first to get to us. Ray pulled me into a hug, and I had to fight the tears threatening.

  “I knew you were special when I hired you. I’m glad you got your man,” he whispered in my ear.

  “Thank you for everything. It was because of you I was able to start my new life.”

  “I don’t believe that for a second. You’re a strong girl, Faith. You would have figured it out without me. I’m just glad I was able to help. Now I have to work on that one.” He nodded toward Ryan, who was giving her best effort at ignoring Matt. I noticed she positioned herself as far away from Matt, making it obvious she was aware of him.

  “Let me know if I can help with that,” I answered.

  He threw his head back, while Jean shook her head.

  “I might take you up on that.” Ray took his Jean and headed toward Ryan.

  Matt came up to us, and Ryan scowled before stomping into the house. “Congratulations.” Matt offered me an uncomfortable hug before pulling Kill into a man hug.

  I glanced down at his legs, but I couldn’t figure out which one had the prosthetic.

  “I’m glad you came,” Kill told him.

  The rest of the boys gave him hugs, beating him on the back in true male fashion.

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he said, wincing when I snorted at his words. His eyes shot to me, and I raised an eyebrow at him.

  “Uhm, I have to go help with the bar deliveries, since Ray’s here. It was good seeing you. Congratulations again.” Matt took off. His stride was quick, and it surprised me.

  “What was that about?” Kill whispered in my ear, watching his friend retreat with a puzzled look.

  “He said the same thing when I told him he better come back and ask Ryan out when he got out of the marines. Apparently, he didn’t forget either.”

  “Don’t worry. Their time will come.” Kill kissed me on the forehead.

  “Such a romantic.”

  “Not that romantic. Do you know what I want to do to you right now?”

  My face burned. I elbowed him in the stomach just before the next person came up to congratulate us. Most of the guests trickled out early. With the last minute wedding on New Year’s, most of them already had plans.

  “Do you think that was the minister’s first polygamy marriage?” Jet asked.

  “What?” I snuggled into Kill, trying to figure out what the hell Jet was talking about.

  “You know, he had to be seeing double. I could smell the alcohol before he opened his mouth. I’m pretty sure if it was hotter outside he would have fermented.”

  Victoria was the only one who didn’t seem to find Jet’s observation amusing. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize he was drunk until it was too late. With such short notice, he was all I could find.”

  “It was fine, Victoria.” I giggled, too amused to ease her worry. “I can say our wedding story is going to be memorable.”

  “Well, at least we’ll remember it. I don’t know about him,” Kill interjected.

  This time Victoria laughed along with us.

  I changed into a pair of sweats and a sweater, ready for an afternoon of nothing before the concert. “It’s time for you to take a nap, wife,” Kill whispered when my head sank further into his shoulder.

  “I don’t want to take a nap,” I groaned, my eyes heavy.

  Kill chuckled, lifting me off the ground. My head flopped on his shoulder. “You two have a long night tonight. You need your rest.” He patted my stomach, moving toward the stairs.

  I murmured my good nights and thank-yous, almost asleep by the time Kill tucked us both under the covers.

  “Good night, wife.”

  I smiled and snuggled into his warm back. “Good night, husband.”

  “Best wedding ever,” he whispered, earning him a tired chuckle.

  “I completely agree.”

  “This place’s packed.” My voice was in awe. I was astonished, watching the crowd pour into the area. Tilly and Lissa stood next to me as we watched the seats fill from backstage.

  It wasn’t my first time I’d got to come into a venue from the back. The wide eye stare of my parents, Catcher, Emily, and Tilly made me realize I had taken it for granted. We arrived early with the boys, but they were whisked away to their waiting fans. I had to make sure everything was in place and opted to stay behind.

  “It’s been sold out since we announced it in June,” Lissa explained, her attention on her phone. “Ugh,” she groaned when her phone binged loudly.

  “What is it? Do the boys need more security?” my dad asked, picking up on her frustration.

  “What? No, the security’s fine. It looks like we had some no-shows, and the merch table’s slammed,” Lissa answered, her eyebrows pulled together.

  “I’ve got this,” Amy told her.

  Lissa opened her mouth but slammed it shut. She was learning there was no deterring Amy.

  “We can help, Amy,” Martha said. Her eyes were bright with excitement as she tugged on my dad’s sleeve.

  I bit the inside of my lip to keep from giggling.

  “Are you sure?” Lissa asked with a look of defeat.

  “Of course. We’ll go down there now and meet you in the suite when the concert starts. When the concert ends we can go back down again,” my dad answered, Martha bouncing at his side. “See you in a little bit, baby,” he cooed to my stomach.

  “What about me?” I asked, feeling snubbed.

  “Hush, you know we love you,” my dad said, blowing me a kiss before disappearing with Lissa leading the way.

  Catcher and Emily were deep in conversation. Catcher had a smile plastered on his face, while Emily was blushing furiously. He caught my eye and winked. I was caught watching them, a goofy smile on my face.

  “We’re going to head to the suite so we can watch the show. Good luck.” He kissed my cheek, leading Emily to the suite we would be watching the concert from.

  I stood closer to Tilly, having been abandoned by everyone else. She glanc
ed up from her phone and quickly stuffed it in her pocket.

  “Anything new happening?” I asked her, rubbing my tight belly.

  Tilly pushed her glasses up and fidgeted with the strap of her purse. She seemed extra fidgety, and I wanted to ease her anxiety.

  “Nothing new. Have you thought about what you’re going to do with the next book?”

  “I have some ideas, but let’s not talk about the book right now. It’s my wedding day, and I’m about to perform with my husband at the biggest show of his life. And reveal the gender of our baby. Talk to me about something else to keep my mind occupied.”

  I patted Tilly’s hand, and she jerked it away.

  “You got married?” Her face filled with a look I couldn’t decipher.

  “Kill surprised me this morning with an impromptu wedding.”

  “Oh.” Tilly chewed on her fingernail. Her eyes darted all over the place, refusing to land on mine.

  “I’m sure he would have invited you. It was such short notice. I’m sorry, Tilly.” Guilt swamped me. I was trying to calm her not make her feel bad.

  “It’s not a problem. I was busy this morning. Was Lissa there?” Tilly’s face paled and her bottom lip trembled.

  “No, Lissa wasn’t there.”

  “Good, she would have had it plastered all over the web.” Tilly blew out a breath, her hands twitching nervously.

  “Right,” I agreed with a smile.

  “Have you Googled it? Maybe she went ninja on you.” Tilly’s hand shook as she pulled her phone out.

  I leaned over her shoulder and breathed out a sigh of relief when nothing pulled up from her search.

  The crowd roared, ending our research. The lights went out and the stage lit up. Kill ran up behind me, wrapping his hands around my middle.

  “Are you ready, Slick?”

  My muscles convulsed when I looked out at the crowd. I swallowed loudly and pressed into him. “No,” I answered with a shaky voice.

  “Nah, you’re ready.”

  The band walked out, and the crowd chanted for the JackholeS. The energy was more intense than anything I felt when I sang with them before. Kill kissed me before leading me out to the middle of the stage where the microphone waited for us.

  The backdrop unfurled and the crowd went insane. Jet and D had done a perfect job. I shot them a thumbs-up behind Kill’s back.

  The 4-D ultrasound spanned the back of the stage. In bright pink letters, It’s a girl, was scrawled on the top. Our squishy face little girl had just been announced to the world.

  Kill’s attention was focused on the crowd, feeding into their screams. I tugged on his hand, and he turned to kiss me. He ignored the crowd’s chant to turn around. Jet came up and picked him up, turning him to the back of the stage. Kill struggled to get out of Jet’s grip, but when his eyes landed on the backdrop he went still. I smiled widely, watching Kill realize what he was saying. Jet dropped him and kissed my cheek before moving to the side of the stage.

  Kill’s face moved to mine. I nodded my head. He grabbed me with one hand and the microphone with his other. “We’re having a little girl,” he screamed, and pandemonium ensued. “I love you, Slick.” He dropped to his knees to kiss my stomach. Shouts and applauses thundered around us.

  “I love you, too,” I whispered in his ear when he stood.

  “Did we do a good job?” Jet asked in his microphone.

  “You did perfect,” I replied, blowing D and Van a kiss.

  “All right, let’s get this concert started,” Kill yelled. “I have a surprise for you. My wife has agreed to sing with us tonight.”

  The crowd got even louder.

  Van started the intro and the rest of the band followed his lead. My voice wobbled throughout the whole song, and Kill’s wasn’t much steadier.

  The crowd jumped to their feet when we finished our song, giving our rockstar her first standing ovation. Kill pulled me in for a passionate kiss. When he let me go, I was breathless. If it wasn’t for the boisterous crowd, I would have pulled him offstage and had my way with him right there.

  I waved at the crowd before climbing into the waiting golf cart next to a pale Tilly.

  My dad, Martha, Amy, Catcher, and Emily swarmed me when we walked into the suite. Tilly skirted us and plopped down on a chair, her phone clutched in her hand.

  I’d thought my emotions were under control, until my dad hugged me, sobbing about how happy he was.

  “I need to sit down,” I said, my back tightening up.

  “Are you okay?” Martha asked, leading me to a chair.

  Everyone looked at me with concern.

  “Yes, I’m perfect. It’s my wedding day, and I’m having a little girl. I’m just overwhelmed.” I sat down next to Tilly, wanting to check on her.

  “Are you feeling okay?” I asked, making her jump.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” she answered, her eyes never meeting mine.

  “Are you sure?”

  “I just don’t understand how you can be so public.” Her face was red, still not meeting my eyes.

  “Faith, come dance with me,” Amy yelled, her hands pressed against the glass, watching the boys.

  Tilly’s mouth was in a tight line, and I decided to leave her alone.

  The whole stadium was on their feet, screaming and singing along with him. Jet jumped around the stage, absorbing the energy. Amy was jumping along with her man, and I was waddling around next to her.

  My energy depleted before Amy’s. I moved to sit next to my dad. I didn’t want to bother Catcher and Emily. They were sitting in the corner, sending covert glances when they thought the other wasn’t looking. My dad’s hand instinctually landed on my belly, a smile playing on his face as his other hand held on to Martha.

  Tilly’s phone rang, and she jerked awkwardly. We looked at her, and her face lost its pallor, turning a bright red. “I’ve got to take this,” she said, walking out to the room.

  “Let’s celebrate,” Amy cried, taking a break from jumping. She popped a bottle of apple cider open and poured everyone a glass.

  “To our baby girl,” she said, raising her glass.

  We raised our glasses as everyone’s hands landed on my stomach.

  By the time the encore was over, my bladder was about to burst. My dad and Martha had already left with Amy to man the merch table. I glanced over and noticed Catcher and Emily were snuggled together.

  “I have to pee. I’ll be right back,” I told them, ready to run to the bathroom.

  “I’ll go with you,” Tilly said, pounding away on her phone.

  “Let’s go,” I urged her, doing the potty dance.

  I made a beeline to the stall, not taking time to admire the luxurious lounge area. A sigh left my lips when I emptied little miss’s trampoline. My feet were on fire, and I had to convince myself to stand up and leave the stall.

  “Tilly?” I said, not seeing her.

  “I’m in here,” she answered and I followed her voice into the lounge.

  My head was bent, drying my hands. I didn’t notice Tilly wasn’t alone until he spoke.

  “Hey, Faith.” Jason’s voice slithered over me, dark and heavy.

  My head snapped up to see Tilly standing next to him. Except this wasn’t the Tilly I knew. No longer was she the bumbling assistant with too big for her glasses. In fact, she wasn’t even wearing her glasses.

  She stood tall and confident next to Jason. Her smirk contorted in an evil grin, while my mind tried to process that Jason was there.

  “Tilly, you need to come here. He’s dangerous.” My voice shook, refusing to accept what was in front of me.

  “Shut up,” Tilly screamed. “He’s not dangerous. Don’t spew your lies. You don’t have to pretend anymore. We know the truth,” Tilly spat at me as she tried to cuddle next to Jason.

  Jason’s brown eyes were locked on me with such focus, I wasn’t certain he heard Tilly.

  “I’ve missed you, Faith.” He shrugged Tilly off and walked toward
me.

  “Don’t come near me,” I yelled, inhaling deeply, preparing to scream.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Tilly whispered, her hand coming out of her bulky sweater, brandishing a gun.

  “Why are doing this?” I pleaded, taking tiny steps away from Jason’s form, and Tilly’s gun.

  Jason gave me a soft, stunning smile. His charm was on full force. Memories tried to bust into my thoughts, but I refused them. I needed to stay alert to get out of this alive.

  Tilly glanced at him and decided to answer my question. “I had to stop you. Jason and I were going to have the perfect life, but he couldn’t do anything with that awful book hanging over his head. You couldn’t stop spreading your lies.” Tilly kept the gun trained to me, moving toward Jason again.

  “They aren’t lies. He’s dangerous.”

  “Right, he’s so dangerous you purposely taunted him in public. You were so scared of him, you continued to parade around even after you were pregnant. You know how many times I asked you to quit? No, you were really scared.”

  “I can’t quit living my life. I had protection with me at all times. Of course I was scared, but I couldn’t stop helping people,” I said, my stomach knotting painfully.

  “Faith, I would never hurt you,” Jason said, still staring at me with an easy smile.

  “Of course you wouldn’t.” Tilly reached out to stoke Jason, but he pulled away. “The only thing he ever did to hurt you was to get me to stop your stupid book of lies.”

  My head snapped back like she’d hit me. “Were you sabotaging me?” All those times she sent my books to the wrong store. Every screw-up I tossed aside as a mistake was Jason’s puppet trying to ruin me.

  “No shit, dumbass,” Tilly scoffed. Her eyes kept shooting to Jason before training them back on me.

  Jason hadn’t stopped smiling. His face had a tranquil look on it that made me shiver. He was clearly in his own reality, and I was terrified of where I fit in that world.

  “Tilly, I forgive you. I was caught in his web before too. I can help you. Think of all the women we helped while we were on tour.” I took a chance and pleaded with Tilly, hoping I could convince her to come on my side.