Becoming Faith

by Joy Eileen

  “Shut the fuck up,” Tilly screamed.

  “Don’t talk to her like that,” Jason screamed. His face contorted with fury when he snapped his neck to look at her.

  Fear curdled in my stomach. My past found tiny cracks flashing back to when Jason ruled my world. The face he wore was the same one he used to make right before he let his fists fly. Tilly’s face lost all color at Jason’s anger. She tried to stand strong and not show fear. Her dilated pupils and rapid breathing gave her away.

  This wasn’t the first time she had seen Jason’s anger. I recalled all of the times Tilly had showed up with bruises or hidden aches.

  “Tilly, look at him. You know he’s dangerous. I can help you,” I shot her a pleading look, wanting to get her to acknowledge what he really was.

  Her face wouldn’t move away from Jason’s.

  “I told you to shut up,” Tilly screamed. Angry red patches covered her cheeks. Her gun trained on me, but her face stayed on Jason’s.

  “I fucking told you to stop yelling at her,” Jason growled, advancing on her so fast she wasn’t able to move out of the way. The crack of her cheek when the back of his hand landed bounced off the walls.

  The gun faltered, but steadied. Her eyes welled up with tears, but she stayed upright. The sound brought back pain so intense I had to fight the blackness pulling at my sight.

  I held my breath, uncertain of what I should do. Jason’s anger was now peaked, and I didn’t want him to turn on me. Tilly wiped an unsteady hand across her face, mesmerized at the blood smearing it.

  “You will respect her, Matilda,” Jason seethed, getting into her face, the intimidation strong in his stance.

  “I’m sorry, Faith,” Jason said, turning around. His face softened when he caught my eye. “Don’t be mad at Tilly, baby. She helped me get back to you. It didn’t mean anything. I needed her. She was my nurse, and the only one who would listen to me when I tried to tell them I didn’t need to be hospitalized.”

  Vomit seared my throat, and I swallowed it down. My eyes burned at the acidic taste. When I glanced at Tilly, she was glaring at me with hatred in her eyes. His evilness drenched in his words, while he tried to get me to understand why he was with Tilly. The destruction his actions had on another person didn’t register. Jason patted Tilly on the head before moving toward me.

  “Faith, I’ve missed you so much. It’s time to come back with me.” His large hand reached for me.

  I’d moved myself into a corner, panicking when I realized I’d trapped myself. His finger came up and caressed my cheek. I couldn’t stop from cowering at his touch.

  “Jason?” Tilly’s voice was laced with uncertainty.

  “Stop talking, Tilly. You have been a pain in my ass ever since I got out of that damn place. Your family has been hassling my dad, trying to find you. My dad’s pissed at all the commotion they have made. Now, shut the fuck up and let me talk to Faith.”

  I thought back to the man who’d confronted me at the concert. Now that Tilly had removed her glasses, I noticed the similarities in their facial features. The whole time I worried about his sister, Maddy, and she was sitting next to me.

  I couldn’t summon pity for her, even after Jason admitted he was using her and was willing to toss her aside. Her face scrunched up with sadness, her bottom lip trembling. But still I couldn’t feel sorry for her. She’d put my baby in danger. Forgiveness was never going to happen if I got out of here alive.

  My stomach tightened painfully, and I winced. Jason noticed, and his face turned to stone, the charm replaced with his true self.

  “I thought you weren’t able to get pregnant.” His finger contradicted his dark voice as it continued to gently touch my face, refusing to look down.

  “I wasn’t,” I answered. My hands wrapped around my stomach in a pathetic attempt to protect her from the monster in front of me.

  “We’ll have to get rid of that. My dad won’t accept an heir that isn’t mine. You made things hard for me, Faith. Your boyfriend’s fame put all your mistakes in the spotlight. We’re going to have to do a lot of damage control to get my dad to forgive you.” His hands still wouldn’t leave my cheek.

  “Jason, what are you saying?” Tilly advanced until was a couple feet away. The gun shook in her hands.

  “She isn’t evil. She’s just confused. That rockstar has brainwashed her. I wasn’t around to help her. Isn’t that right, Faith?”

  My stomach tightened, and I leaned further against the wall so I wouldn’t double over.

  “What about me?” Tilly’s voice was barely above a whisper.

  “You? What about you? You were a good diversion, and you were able to get me close to Faith. You can’t think you could compare to her. I need Faith by my side. I was stupid to break up with her, and I learned my lesson. When she left my side, my life fell apart. I now realize how much I need her. She’s the key to getting my life back on track.”

  Tilly screamed, barreling at us. Relief ran through me. Jason had pushed her too far. I pressed against the wall to move away from Jason. Pain exploded when the gun connected to my head. My neck rocked, making the back of my head slam into the wall.

  “He’s mine.” Tilly’s voice was shrill. She pulled her hand back to strike me again.

  “No,” Jason bellowed, shoving Tilly off me.

  She fell to the floor and bounced from the impact.

  “Leave her alone. Don’t ever touch her again.” Jason fist landed in Tilly’s stomach. The air rushing out through her lips was audible.

  I sprinted, desperate to make it to the door.

  “Faith,” Catcher called out, banging on the door. “What’s going on? Why’s the door locked?”

  “You were mine,” Tilly wheezed, still not recovering her breath from the punishing blow.

  Her gun swung wildly, pointing it at the spot I’d just stood. The bullet pierced the wall, making me scream.

  “I was never yours,” Jason roared. He tried to wrestle the gun out of her hand. “How could you think you compared to her? You stupid bitch.”

  The next shot rang out, stopping my hands from scrambling to unlock the door.

  “Faith,” Catcher screamed from outside.

  My face swung just in time to watch Jason’s body jerk from the impact. Tilly screamed, and I watched in horror as Jason's eyes widened in shock. She frantically pushed Jason off her, covering the gaping hole in his chest with her hands. Blood poured out of him, coating her.

  My hands were numb when the lock gave way and swung back. I stumbled out. Catcher’s leg was up, about to kick the door open. He was white with fear.

  My knees knocked together, trying to keep me upright. I turned when I heard loud footsteps and spotted security running down the hallway.

  Catcher pulled me the rest of the way out of the restroom and wrapped his body around my shaking form. He took off running down the hall, away from the bathroom.

  Tilly’s cries amplified the screams of the concert goers, the sounds of the gunshots sending them into a state of panic. Chaos surrounded us.

  I buried my head in Catcher’s shoulder, trusting he would get me to safety. He pushed me into an empty suite. His hands were rough as he frisked my body, searching for injury.

  “Are you hurt?” He yanked his phone out, his eyes never leaving me. “I’ve got her. She’s safe,” he said before dropping the phone back in his pocket.

  My stomach constricted with a sharp pain. A rush of warm liquid gushed between my thighs. Catcher’s eyes widened. We both watched the liquid stain my clothes, running toward the floor.

  Catcher snatched his phone back out. Another contraction assaulted me, and I screamed in pain. “Kill, meet me outside the back entrance. You’re going to be a daddy.” Catcher grabbed me. The contraction waned, and everything went black.

  Chapter 21

  “Slick, stay with me, baby,” Kill murmured in my ear.

  A sharp pain tore through my abdomen, and I whimpered in agony.

 
“Breathe through it, Slick. We’re almost to the hospital. I already called Doctor Dacky. She’s on her way. We’re going to meet our little girl tonight.” Kill kissed my forehead, pushing away the sweat coated hair stuck to it.

  “It hurts,” I cried when another contraction hit. The scar tissue pulled to its breaking point.

  “I know. But both my girls are strong. Just hang on a little longer.”

  The brakes squealed when Catcher pulled to the emergency room entrance. The red neon sign filtered through the tinted windows. He threw the car in park and helped Kill get me out of the car.

  “Faith, let’s get you in here,” Doctor Dacky ran out next to a nurse with a wheelchair.

  As soon as I was secure, I was whisked away. Kill held my hand, never letting me go.

  The furious wail was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard.

  “There she is.” Kill beamed, leaning over and kissing me on the forehead.

  Doctor Dacky immediately realized the baby needed to come out. The scar tissue had done too much damage. Within an hour, I found myself being wheeled into the room for an emergency c-section.

  Concerned voices behind the paper wall hiding the surgery from us, buzzed over the sound of my precious little girl.

  “We need to cut it now.” Doctor Dacky’s voice was firm from behind the wall. The machines around me beeped and flashed erratically.

  “What’s going on?” Kill asked, his panicked face locked on mine.

  “The uterus needs to come out. The damage is too much,” she answered, her voice tight.

  Kill leaned over and kissed me. My numb lower body was subjected to the three Ps. Pulling, pushing, and pressure. Kill’s face only had love shining on it, the background noise of our little rockstar serenading us.

  Then the most wonderful thing happened. A smiling nurse brought over my tiny, screaming bundle of joy. Tears streamed down my face when she placed her on my body. The moment she touched my skin, her wailing stopped.

  “She already knows her momma,” Kill said. His finger brushed featherlight over her newborn skin.

  At the sound of his voice her blue eyes opened and locked on her daddy.

  “She knows you too.”

  His breath hitched, staring at the perfect bundle of joy who would know him as daddy. Kill leaned over and kissed us both. “Hi, I’m your daddy,” he whispered. “And this gorgeous lady’s your mommy. We love you so much. Thank you for letting us be your parents. Happy Birthday.”

  The operating room noises were no match for the love in Kill’s voice while he met our little girl. She gazed at her daddy, entranced as he spoke to her.

  The love I felt filled up all the holes I didn’t even know were there. She completed our family. I was content with the knowledge she would be our only child. She was perfect, and from the look of love on Kill’s face, he was fine with her being it as well.

  “I’m your uncle D. Also known as your favorite,” D cooed to our blanket wrapped bundle.

  “Ha, bullshit. She knows I’m her favorite. That’s why she shit when I held her,” Jet countered, leaning over D, trying to get his niece’s attention.

  “My turn.” My dad claimed his granddaughter, while the rest of them pouted, wanting a turn.

  Martha tried to snatch her away, but my dad was having none of that.

  “So, what are we naming her, sis?” Van asked, sitting on the foot of the bed.

  I looked at Kill, giving him the go ahead to tell them.

  “Scarlett Mae.”

  “Mae was Grandma B’s middle name.” Jet looked over at his niece, grinning widely.

  “Scarlett was my grandma’s name,” I added, watching the tears form in my dad’s eyes.

  He kissed his mother’s namesake on the forehead before blowing me a kiss.

  “That’s perfect,” Martha answered, hugging me. “My little firecracker, Scarlett Mae.”

  “Is it my turn?” Van asked, lifting off the bed.

  “You already had your turn,” my dad argued, pulling her closer to him.

  “You’ll get to hold her all the time while we finish the tour,” Van countered.

  “What? Hell, no,” Jet cried, shocking us all.

  “Don’t even think about canceling the tour. We already talked about it. We will be fine here with my parents,” I said, misunderstanding Jet’s reasoning.

  “Of course we aren’t canceling the show, but you two are coming with us. I already talked to Lissa. She pushed the last of our shows back. The venues were already aware it could happen. Now we can wait for the clear, and little red can go with us.” Jet took Scarlett from my stunned dad after his announcement.

  “We can’t take a newborn on a rock tour.” I peered around the room, looking for support.

  “Why not? She’s already a rockstar. She stays up all night. She shits her pants. She drinks from a bottle, cries, and people still adore her. Hell, she’s more of a rockstar than I am.” He rocked her next to Amy, staring at me and Kill.

  “You’ll have your first doctor’s appointment, which we’ll be here for anyway. We can get the bus sterilized, and you two can come with us. It’s perfect. You don’t have to even leave the bus. You can stay on it and be perfectly safe.”

  “I don’t like that idea,” my dad said, looking like he was about to take her back.

  “Think about it. The idea will grow on you.” Jet kissed her on the forehead. “Amy, I think we should have one of these,” he said, snuggling up to my daughter.

  “Visiting hours are over.” A nurse came in, frowning at my overcrowded room.

  They grumbled, shuffling out of the room, promising to come back in the morning.

  Kill cuddled up to me, Scarlett in the middle, sleeping like an angel. “I love you, Slick.”

  “I love you more.”

  “Thank you for giving her to me.” He leaned over and brushed a kiss on Scarlett’s forehead.

  She wrinkled her nose, but didn’t wake.

  Jet ended up convincing us to take Scarlett on tour. It wasn’t that hard. Every time Kill realized he would be leaving us behind, the decision became more apparent. It wasn’t the normal thing to do, but it was the rockstar way.

  My dad didn’t argue like I thought he would when we told him we were taking her on tour. I knew he didn’t like it, but as a dad he understood not being separated from his family.

  Jason’s death was all over the news. Footage of a handcuffed bloody Tilly being led out of the arena was on constant replay. The news coverage exposed Jason’s family business. Mr. Hutchingson’s business was in the beginning stages of huge lawsuit for money laundering and bribing city officials.

  Our PI was beside himself when he saw the news coverage. He showed up at the hospital and apologized for not making the connection between Jason and Tilly sooner. Tilly was being held in a mental facility similar to the one she’d helped Jason escape from until her trial. Pictures of her brother and family were plastered on the TV outlets too.

  Kill snuggled next to me in our bed. It was the last night we had together before leaving to finish the tour. The effects of having a newborn were evident on all our exhausted faces. She was a little rockstar as Jet predicted.

  Scarlett was in her bassinet sleeping soundly. Her uncles, or angels as I was referring to them now, played with her all day, tiring her out. I curled into Kill and pushed my face into his chest. My hand landed over the tattoo above his heart that now had Scarlett’s name on it as well.

  Kill’s hand stroked my back, stopping at the slope of my ass before coming back up. “I can’t wait until our six weeks are up,” he whispered, making me chuckle in the dark.

  “I can’t either,” I told him, kissing his chest. “Do you really think it’s okay taking her on tour?”

  “We talked to Dr. Dacky. She gave us her approval. It’s only for two weeks, and the bus is sterilized. I don’t want to be away from you two, but if you’re having second thoughts...” His voice trailed off.

  “No, I
don’t want to be away from you either. I’m just worried what people will think.”

  “Who the fuck cares?”

  I giggled and ran my hand over his abs. “You’ll just have to pay a lot of attention to me. I’ll go stir-crazy on the bus for two weeks.”

  “I think I can handle that.”

  I lifted my head up and our lips collided. My muscles simmered and the lust ran rampant through me. The six-week mark couldn’t come fast enough.

  Kill deepened the kiss, and I took everything he gave me. Our lips crushed each other, while we tried to mold into one another. His teeth sank into my bottom lip, causing a faint whimper to escape my throat.

  Kill was and would always be my dream come true. My fairy tale.

  Kill knew we were meant to be together. I was glad I came to my senses and realized he was right.

  “Love you, Killer.”

  “Love you more.”

  Scarlett let out a hungry cry, breaking our kiss.

  “I’ll get her bottle.” Kill got out of bed before I could pretend to protest.

  “I love you too, my little firecracker.”

  Kill came back and settled Scarlett in between us. She sucked greedily at her bottle, making us laugh. My heart was full at the picture Kill made holding our daughter.

  It was perfect.

  Epilogue

  “Give me my baby.” D took Scarlett out of my hands.

  Kill growled since he was about to take her. D pretended not to hear him, cooing at his niece.

  “One more show and we get to go home. Are you ready to go back to the JackholeS compound?” D laughed when she blew spit bubbles at him.

  The tour was almost over, and I couldn’t wait to get back home. Even with the rescheduled shows, the venues were packed for every concert. The JackholeS were on their way to being legends.

  They were already legends to me. Scarlett and I stayed on the bus for the most part. It wasn’t as claustrophobic as I thought it would be. It was clean, safe, and cramped, but we were together, and that was all that mattered.