Nerd and the Marine

by Grady, D. R.

  Melly frowned. “That's right. You got lost and had to call for someone to come and get you. You've never gotten lost in your entire life.”

  “And we've been coming up here since we were born. I know this area better than some of the animals who live here,” Lainy agreed, bending to retrieve another shirt from the floor.

  “But you got lost.” Melly nodded. “Of course. You barely knew your own name. Didn't you forget to bring a suitcase, too?”

  Lainy laughed. “All I had was my purse and an empty briefcase.”

  “I don't suppose you would remember Sam, then, but the two of you had some interesting conversations about some sort of new weapon technology. I think you knocked his socks off. He'd probably be crushed if he found out you can't even remember him.” Melly laughed and bounced on the end of Lainy's bed.

  “His reply would be, Lainy who?” Lainy shot back, not seeming in the least bit alarmed that this guy wouldn't remember her. “How did the kids hear the stuff he said about me?”

  “They were spying in the bushes. Ben and Sam had no idea they were there, or they wouldn't have discussed you, I'm sure.”

  “Right,” Lainy replied. “Well, it's a shame I don't remember him, but anyway-”

  “-You really don't care.”

  “Nah, I guess not. What do I have to offer a man?”

  Melly gaped at her, and Mitch figured he probably did too. It was a shame Lainy couldn't see his face along with her sister’s.

  “Hello? What planet did you just arrive from?”

  Lainy stared at her sister, eyes blank. As though her sister had begun speaking Martian. Mitch frowned.

  “Lainy?” Melly waved her hand in front of Lainy’s face.

  “What?” Lainy shoved her sister's hand aside before stepping around her. Mitch watched the smooth play of muscles and the gentle sway of feminine curves, enjoying the view if not the conversation. She selected some socks from a drawer in the dresser.

  “How can you think you don't have anything to offer?” Melly demanded in an angry voice and Mitch cheered her on.

  “What do I have to offer?” Lainy returned, less belligerently than her sister. She sat on the rumpled bed and tugged the socks on.

  “I can't believe what I'm hearing. You're probably the smartest woman alive-” Melly began but Lainy cut her off.

  “-Yes, and that's the problem. I'm intelligent and smart men don't like smart women. Or at least none I’ve ever dated. They'd rather date a beautiful fluff brain and I couldn't fake that if I tried.” Lainy sounded exasperated and frustrated and some other emotion he couldn’t identify.

  “I wish you’d tell us about those relationships. I know Tom Caraden, since we all went to school with him, but what about that guy from college?”

  Lainy blew out a breath that riffled her hair. She shook her head.

  Melly looked as exasperated. “Where did you get the impression men don't date intelligent women?” Melly sounded much calmer than he felt.

  “I overheard Bobby Crenshaw and those cheerleaders he hung out with talking about me, on top of my two disasters. Everyone’s final conclusion was that I wasn't datable.” Lainy’s voice was muffled as she searched for something under the bed and spoke into the comforter. “All my experiences after that proved their theory.”

  “Lainy,” Melly burst out and Mitch watched her clamp down almost visibly on her temper. “Bobby Crenshaw and Tom Caraden are the dumbest people in town. Their girlfriends are easily as stupid as them. And you thought it was okay to listen to them? People who are all on drugs now? Complete losers?”

  “So? I overheard other guys say almost the same thing. It happens all the time. Remember, I went to college. It’s not like the new experience changed anything.” Lainy’s mouth pulled down and Mitch loathed every man who’d ever hurt her. “The last experience being a week ago in a store after I helped a fellow customer. I overheard the men working there discussing me.” Lainy frowned and turned away. “They didn’t say nice things for sure.”

  “Idiots. I think the problem is the caliber of men you've been associating with. Trust me, it's going to take a whole lot more than your brain to intimidate a Navy SEAL or a Marine,” Melly said hotly.

  Mitch saluted her.

  “What do you mean?” Lainy sounded confused.

  “Why don't you start by listening to those at the top of the food chain like a Marine, or Navy SEAL, or other military man, cop, or fireman rather than the bottom dredges?”

  Mitch wanted to give Melly Lytle a big ole kiss for that statement. As a matter of fact, he just might as soon as he saw her again.

  Lainy still looked confused when Melly left with a hug and then the screen went blank. He wondered about Lainy’s previous relationships, too.

  Mitch opened his e-mail.

  To: RicknMellyLytle@hotmail.com

  From: M_Monahan@yahoo.com

  Subject: Lainy's belief...

  that she has nothing to offer a man.

  Hello Melly,

  Your brother, Ed, sent me some Morrison Family Treasuries, and one begins with the herd waking Lainy up and then mentioning Ben's swim buddy, Sam. This all goes into a conversation about her not having anything to offer a man.

  Thank you for your wise words to her. You said what I wish I could have. I'm wondering if what you said got through?

  I told Lainy I'd give her a run-down on what the videos contained, but I hate to tell her about that conversation Ed filmed between the two of you. Lainy had some disastrous relationships, is that right? She has no idea she's worth more than life to me already and I have yet to meet her in person. How do I tell her this without scaring her off?

  Thanks for your help, and yes, my intentions are honorable.

  Mitch

  Leaning back in his chair after he sent the message, Mitch contemplated what he'd do to Bobby Crenshaw, Tom Caraden, and the other jerks in the event he ran into the slime-balls on the street. He cracked his knuckles.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Yawning, Lainy padded downstairs, Bentley behind her. The smell of fresh brewed coffee enticed her. She held the door open for him and then poured herself a huge mug. She turned on her computer and watched Bentley romp in the yard while the machine loaded.

  Another hacking attempt? What in the world was going on? Her firewall had held, and hopefully the new virus she’d attached would slow the hacker down, but why, after that last virus, was someone still trying to enter her system? Now she’d have to go in and see if she could locate the hacker. What a pain that would be. Why hadn’t they gotten the message with the original nasty virus attached to her firewall?

  Lainy stood there long after the cursor blinked for her to begin. She paced back into the kitchen for a refill before sitting down at the computer again. Thinking of the work this hacking attempt created for her with some anger and a lot of frustration.

  She finished up Max’s program and packaged it before she opened her e-mail and sent a message to Max to come pick up the parcel. A few downloaded, while hers cleared the server. Grinning when she saw one from Mitch, she clicked on the line and watched the message unfold. She’d work on the new security system after she responded to his e-mail.

  As she read, Lainy enjoyed his pleasure in the computer and his willingness to meet Ben. She had high hopes for that visit. He’d met Melly, but she doubted he remembered much of the visit.

  Lainy felt a little stab at the thought of Mitch having to take Bentley to an animal shelter. She was grateful she hadn't been there. She didn't think she could have born his pain at giving up his pet. She wouldn't have been able to give Bentley up. But then, she wouldn't have had to. Not only was she not interested in a job with the armed forces, she also had plenty of family who would take in a pet, or more, if the situation warranted.

  She smiled at his happiness over the kids calling him Uncle Mitch. She thought it appropriate to use this nomenclature frequently, as he'd better get used to the idea. Once he came home, he'd hear it abou
t eighty times a day. Well, maybe only ten, but ten was probably a lot when one hadn't grown up hearing these things.

  To: m_monahan@yahoo.com

  From: l_morrison@gmail.com

  Subject: Uncle Mitch

  Hello Uncle Mitch,

  You know, I thought I heard the kids christen you that, but thought it was my ears playing tricks on me. I hope you don't mind about a hundred and fifty kids calling you this? Often.

  Usually at higher frequencies and decibels than most human ears can stand. But they're awfully cute and sweet. Most of the time. Kids have meltdowns sometimes though, and that's when it's nice to have their parents, Mom or Dad or Grandmom or Granddad around. ☺

  You just pass the kid on to the parents. Not unlike passing the baton to the next runner in the Olympics, right? Only I don't think batons have meltdowns, but anyway, you get the picture. Being an aunt or uncle is awesome. Barely any responsibilities with most of the fun. It's good.

  Bentley is chasing squirrels again. And, I'm sorry to say, but The Terror died the other night. My great-aunt Tilly found him hard and cold when she got back from Bible Study on Wednesday night. She didn't ask for an autopsy to determine whether someone did him in or he died from natural causes.

  We have no idea how old he was. He just showed up one day and was so dubbed The Terror by one of the herd, (no one can remember who) after this child noticed the cat climbing the curtains and then launching himself onto the unsuspecting person who had the misfortune to sit in the chair he had claimed. Claws out, of course. The Terror also, if you tried to pet him, immediately put out his claws and wasn't bashful about swiping. I think he had a thing for blood, because if there was the possibility of him raising some, he did.

  He loved climbing up pant legs, or bare legs, and pantyhose were top of the line entertainment for him. He had most of the neighborhood dogs cowed because of those vicious claws. (I've never seen claws like his.)

  Bentley was one of the few not daunted by The Terror. He seemed to think the ugly brown and black cat would provide a tasty appetizer and after the nasty cat figured out no one minded if Bentley ate him, learned to avoid your dog. (Bentley is well loved for many reasons, The Terror being one of them.)

  I'm excited about Ben coming to your base. I'm not sure why he's going there, as you've mentioned there's not much water to be found, and I've always figured SEALs need water, but what do I know?

  Ben would tell you rather quickly, not much. But what does he know? My brothers would all be quick to assure you of my lack of understanding, too, so we won't discuss them, okay? Since I'm writing this e-mail, I'll just stop right there. Or here.

  In case you hadn't noticed, I'm feeling better. More alive. Although I'm told I don't sound much better. Which I don't believe, as you can almost hear my voice now. I don't sound like a pregnant moose anymore, so this is good. At least, I think so. The aforementioned brothers really enjoyed my voice, as it's given them even more fodder with which to tease and harass me. I think they made up excuses to visit just so they can hear me talk. Brothers! Thank goodness for Bentley-the-Root-Beer-Tosser.

  I think I'll offer the next brother through the door a root beer. This could be really fun. (Hee hee!)

  I'm working on another computer like the one I sent you. I figure by the time I build it, you should have some feedback. (No pressure. I simply want to be ready in the event you do have some...) I'll be very happy if you don't find anything wrong or think of some idea to improve the laptop, but I doubt this is possible. Very few things are perfect. Most things can be improved on, and this is especially true with electronics. So, if you have comments or suggestions, I'd like to hear them.

  Did you find the music I downloaded from my collection yet? Let me know what you do and don't like, okay?

  Yours,

  Lainy

  She hit the send button and waited for the mail to transmit before reading the rest of her messages. She responded to the necessaries and then, with a sigh, decided she'd better go work out. Which provided yet another excuse to put off working on her security problem. Running would be more fun.

  At least having Bentley offered a vast improvement in her motivation to exercise. She’d discovered he liked to run and moderated his pace to suit hers. She wondered if Mitch had facilitated this in his dog. Marines needed to stay in shape and Mitch certainly appeared to be so. From the little she’d glimpsed of him in his company picture.

  She whistled for Bentley before remembering she'd forgotten to let him back in. Striding to the door, she tugged on her sneakers and let the door bang shut behind her as she scanned the horizon for him. Thinking of her current security issues, she ran back inside, found her key, set the alarm, and locked the door before exiting.

  Lainy whistled again and watched as Bentley raced from around her grandparent’s house and flew at her, his laughing, happy dog face in place. She dropped to her knees to hug him and stroke his silky fur, grateful she'd been able to meet this dog. And share a little part in his life.

  Bentley didn't allow her much opportunity to woolgather, eager as usual to run. Laughing at his nudging she performed some preliminary stretches before they set off. Bentley didn't leave her side to chase anything, and Lainy often wondered about this. She thought he might believe he needed to protect her, but how he'd manage to accomplish this better than eight hundred relatives was beyond her.

  She thought about Mitch as they ran. Hoping someday she'd have the opportunity to run with him. Glancing down at his dog, she didn't think that hope was unfounded.

  *****

  To: M_Monahan@yahoo.com

  From: RicknMellyLytle@hotmail.com

  Subject: re: Lainy's belief

  Hello Mitch,

  Don't tell, show her!

  Yours,

  Melly

  Mitch grinned when he read Melly's reply. Short, simple and to the point. He stroked his beard stubble and wished for the eighty-ninth time he was back home where he could be with Lainy in person. Having an ocean between them was tiresome and frustrating. This conversation would be better served face to face.

  How in the world did a man thousands of miles away show a woman she was beautiful and desirable? For that matter, how did a man show his next door neighbor this? Pursing his lips, Mitch decided he’d better talk to Alex. His friend had more knowledge of these things.

  *****

  “What do you mean how do you show a woman she's the most desirable, beautiful woman in the world? Are you on crack, Mitch?” Al's voice rose an octave and the suspicious look he currently wore should have made Mitch back off, but this was too important.

  “No, I'm living halfway across the world from her and I've got the hots for a woman who’s been jerked around by idiots. She’s apparently had a couple bad relationships. Then she overhears more jerks making stupid comments about her.”

  “How old is this woman?” Al lost some of his suspicion. In fact, an interested gleam now appeared in his eyes.

  “I suppose in her early thirties, why?” Mitch answered, confused at his friend’s question.

  “This woman is in her thirties and she’s only had two relationships?”

  Mitch figured his friend was now deadly serious because Al set his Game Boy aside. “Yes.”

  “What happened with the two guys?”

  “I get the impression she’s never told anyone that.”

  “I wonder why she never told anyone.”

  Mitch shrugged. “Don’t know.” But he’d like to.

  “Is she a nerd?”

  “Yes. No. An unclaimed treasure. She's amazing, Al. Incredible and she doesn't even know it.”

  Al took a step back and raised a hand in defense. “Yo, cookie boy, I get the picture. No need to sputter all over Uncle Al, here, 'kay?”

  Mitch nodded. “I can show you better than I can tell you.”

  The suspicious look reappeared in Al's eyes.

  Mitch rolled his own. “Her family sent me some home videos. I've seen two, and
the second is the one that shows her low self-esteem. I'll show you what I've seen so far.”

  “You've got this woman on video?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, why didn't you say so?” Al sounded interested. “You still have cookies, right?”

  *****

  “That's Lainy?” Al’s nose nearly touched the laptop screen. Mitch pushed his friend back from the computer and brushed cookie crumbs from the keyboard.

  “That's Lainy.” He watched Al's face.

  He'd decided to show Al the second video so his friend could see Lainy's beauty. Al knew Lainy had built his new computer and with the laptop running like a well-oiled engine, he'd witness her brain power in action, too.

  Al watched the events unfold on the screen. With first Melly clearing the room of munchkins and then the subsequent conversation where Lainy clearly had no idea she was a delectable, unbelievable woman and any smart man would be awestruck to know her, much less date her.

  When Melly told Lainy that maybe she ought to start looking to Navy SEALs and Marines, Al hooted in agreement. Grinning, Mitch snagged another cookie and hit the stop button when the scene finished.

  “You said her brother took this video?” Al took a bite of a huge sugar cookie with bright blue icing and yellow stars.

  “Yeah.”

  “I think this guy is trying to matchmake, brother. You want that?” Al cocked a glance at Mitch.

  Mitch didn't hesitate. “Absolutely. Lainy is the most amazing woman. She thinks she's a geek and not enticing to men. Which is why I'm looking for advice, not watching you drool all over my woman,” Mitch reprimanded and smacked Al upside the head. Al laughed a deep belly laugh and moved out of the smack zone.

  “I'm a man, and she's a fine piece of woman, Mitch.” Al took another bite of cookie. “That she's also a genius is amazing. I had no idea you liked intelligent women, either. What happened?”

  Mitch snuck in a good punch. “Seriously, how do I convince Lainy of all this? She doesn't believe it.”

  “You think she really doesn't remember this SEAL?”