He went inside and went straight downstairs to her room, instead of his. As selfish as it was to wake her, he needed her. He took off his clothes, eased into the double bed, and wrapped himself around her.
She murmured, turned so her body faced his, but didn’t wake. And he didn’t go to sleep.
It was after seven when she finally woke. Billy thought he’d go crazy waiting for her to.
“Hi,” she said, her voice heavy with sleep.
“Hi.”
“I didn’t expect you until later this morning. When did you get in?”
“Couple hours ago.”
She opened her eyes wider. “How come you came home in the middle of the night, Billy?”
He hesitated and ran his hand over his face. “Listen, I got somethin’ I have to talk to you about, Renie. It’s important.”
She sat up, and without realizing she did it, pulled the sheet closer to her. She was wearing that sweatshirt again, the one that used to be his. It wasn’t as though the sheet covered anything the sweatshirt didn’t.
“Come here first.”
“No, Billy.” She started to get out of bed, but he held her where she was.
There was that look again, the fear he saw in her eyes last weekend. She was afraid he was about to hurt her—and he was.
The envelope was close enough that he could reach it. He sat up and pulled her into him, so he had one arm around her, holding her tighter than he should.
“A man came to see me last night after I rode. He brought this letter with him. I haven’t opened it yet, but I know what’s in it.”
“What?” she whispered.
“He came to tell me that his granddaughter was killed in an accident.”
He meant to keep talking, to tell her the rest, but the look in her eyes was ripping him to pieces. He pulled her closer, tighter, and she rested her head in the crook of his shoulder.
“She has a baby. A baby she believed is mine.”
Renie gasped.
“I don’t know what to think,” he continued.
“Are you going to open it?”
“At some point, I guess I’m gonna have to.”
“Do it now, Billy.”
“Do you want me to go upstairs and open it?”
“No, open it here.”
Billy was her best friend. She knew him, and he wasn’t irresponsible. Even if things hadn’t changed between them, even if he weren’t in her bed right now, she’d still believe that about him. Billy might be a player, but that didn’t make him irresponsible.
He tore the end off and reached in for the letter.
“Do you want me to read it for you?”
“Would you?”
For him, she’d do anything. Didn’t he realize that? Renie’s own instincts kicked in, and protecting Billy was all that mattered.
She read it out loud, so he could hear it. She wanted to rip this bandage off fast, for both their sakes.
It said that before she died, Roxanne told her grandparents that Billy Patterson was the father of her child. She hadn’t told him she was pregnant, or that she’d had a baby. She’d told her grandparents that she planned to. But, the letter went on to say, she died before she was able to.
The lawyer representing the family wrote that a paternity test would be arranged at Billy’s earliest convenience. It also stated that Roxanne’s grandparents wanted Billy, the baby’s father, to become her sole guardian. They were too elderly to raise a baby.
“Do you have any reason to confirm or deny this Billy?” She was trying to be as straightforward with him as she could be.
“I slept with her,” he answered. “But not without protection, Renie, I wouldn’t…”
It felt as though a rock landed in the middle of her chest. This wasn’t news to her. Even though Billy didn’t talk to her about having sex when he was out on the road, she knew he had. She didn’t want to think about it, talk about it, or acknowledge it, but she knew it.
“I know you wouldn’t, Billy. But, obviously there was a reason Roxanne thought you were her baby’s father.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Do what they ask. Take the paternity test. There isn’t anything you can figure out until you know for sure you’re the father.”
“God, Renie. I mean…God.”
“I know.” She felt the same way. “You should tell your parents right away. You can’t handle the burden of this on your own, Billy. You’ll need their support.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Does this change things between us?”
“I’m your friend, Billy. I’ll stick by you. You know that.”
“What about us? You and me? What about that?”
“I don’t know.”
“He said her name is Willow.”
“That’s a beautiful name, Billy.”
He had to call the Johnsons. That was their name. Earl and Sophie Johnson. They lived in Texas, which was where he’d met Roxanne. He felt terrible that Mr. Johnson came all the way to South Dakota to track him down. He felt terrible about it all. He especially felt terrible that deep down he hoped the baby wasn’t his.
“Let’s go see your mom and dad.”
“Now?”
“Yeah, Billy, now. You need all the support you can get with this.”
“Can we stay here a little bit longer?”
“Okay, but…”
Billy tried to kiss her, but she moved away from him.
“Renie?”
“Give me a minute, okay, Billy?”
“A minute?”
“I can’t do this.” She wriggled out of his arms, grabbed her clothes, and walked out of the bedroom.
He felt as though his body was imploding. He wanted to race after her, turn her around, and kiss every bit of air out of her. He went upstairs and got in the shower instead.
In two weeks, his whole life changed. He realized that Renie Fairchild was the love of his life. And somehow he knew Roxanne had been telling the truth, Willow was his baby. The love of his life and a baby. And it couldn’t have happened in a more fucked-up way.
When he came out of the bedroom, Renie was sitting at the kitchen counter.
“Ready?”
“You’ll go with me?”
“Of course I will.”
“Still my best friend, but not my lover?”
“Let’s take this one step at a time. First, you need to find out if the baby is yours.”
“And if she is? Then what?”
“Don’t push me, Billy.”
He wanted to hold his hands up in surrender, but he knew she’d take it the wrong way if he did. Instead, he did the other thing he knew she wouldn’t want him to do. He pulled her into a hug, and he held her as tightly as he could.
He put his head next to hers, his face in her hair. “I need you, Renie.”
He felt a little more of his soul leave his body when she didn’t answer.
“Well.” Dottie looked at Billy, then at her husband before she looked at Renie. She wasn’t sure what to say. The baby, if it were Billy’s, was something they’d welcome with open arms, and handle as a family. That part she wasn’t worried about.
Dottie was worried most about what she knew her son was worried most about. Renie. It would’ve been different if Billy had gotten this news even six months from now. They would’ve had some time together under their belts.
She doubted Renie thought anyone noticed, but she was sitting on her hands. Dottie had known Renie since she was a baby. She’d watched her grow up. She told Renie she knew when she was worried about something because she bit her nails. That was when Renie started sitting on her hands instead.
Billy reached over and pulled her arm, then took her hand in his. He knew too, thought Dottie.
“The best thing would be for me to go to Texas,” Billy said, looking between his mom and dad. “If they expedite it, they can have the results back from the lab in twenty-
four hours. I’ll stay until they do.”
“And then what?” Bill asked his son.
Billy looked at Dottie.
“I’ll go with you honey,” she said matter-of-factly. “We’ll figure it out as we go.”
Both Dottie and Billy looked at Renie.
“What?”
Dottie stood up and put her arms around Renie. She looked at her son and husband and moved her eyes in the direction of the other room. Dottie let go of Renie once they’d left the room.
“How are you doin’?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It’s all that matters, sweet girl.” Dottie kissed the top of her head. “It’s all that matters to him.”
“It shouldn’t be. He’s got a daughter to think about now. He won’t have time for…”
“For you? You don’t think so? Oh, Renie, when are you gonna realize that Billy loves you? He loves you more than anything.”
“I can’t do this,” she answered, barely a whisper.
Renie pushed away from Dottie, put on her coat, and walked out of the Patterson’s kitchen, hoping Dottie wouldn’t try to keep her from leaving. Hoping more that Dottie wouldn’t tell Billy she left.
She walked through the woods back to Billy’s, grabbed her keys, and drove home to Fort Collins.
Her and Billy…what? What about her and Billy? Was God trying to tell her something? And if so, what? Did this happen so she could help him through it? Or was it a sign that she and Billy shouldn’t have crossed the line they had in the last couple of weeks?
She was south of Denver when she called her mom.
“Hey, Mom,” she said when Liv answered the phone. “I need to take a few days off from school. I’d like to come to Crested Butte. Okay?”
“You don’t ever have to ask, Renie. This is your home as much as it’s mine. You know that.”
“Thanks, Mom. And thank Ben for me, too. I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon sometime.”
“Are you sure you want to drive here alone? Ben could come and get you.”
“No, I want to drive. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Renie hung up before either of two things happened, she told her mom what was going on with Billy, or she started to cry.
If she wanted to, she could cry the whole way there tomorrow with no one to see her, or judge her for her tears.
7
If she left by five, she’d be in Crested Butte before noon. When she called Billy last night after she got back to Fort Collins, she heard the hurt in his voice when he answered the phone.
“Hey.”
“I’m sorry I left that way, Billy. But I had to.”
“It’s okay.”
“It isn’t okay. I know it isn’t. But…I don’t know what else to say.”
“This isn’t your problem. It’s my problem.”
“That isn’t fair, Billy.”
“I got this, Renie. Whatever happens, it’s my responsibility. It’s on me, I get that.”
“I need some time.”
“You know where to find me. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”
“I’m going to see my mom for a few days.”
“Sounds like a good plan.”
“I still want you to talk to me, Billy.”
“Just try to stop me.”
She could feel him smile through the phone. “I’ll call you from the road.”
“I’ll call you first.” His voice caught, and he took a deep breath. “I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Please don’t give up on me because of this. Please don’t stop bein’ a part of my life.”
“I won’t, Billy.”
A little before seven her phone rang.
“Mornin’,” Billy said when she answered.
“Mornin’ yourself. Just wake up?” The sleep she could hear in his voice made her wish she was snuggled up next to him.
“Yeah. Where are you?”
“Larkspur.” She was an exit north of Monument.
“Pull that car off the highway, come over, and crawl in bed with me.”
His voice sounded so sexy, she almost wanted to.
“Come let me love on you, Renie. Please.”
“I can’t, Billy. I’m on my way to Crested Butte. I have to keep going.”
“No, you don’t. Come see me. Please, Renie.”
It was as though her car had a mind of its own, and it wanted to go see Billy.
“Did you get off the highway, Renie?”
“You know I did.”
“Ah, that’s my girl. You wanna know what I’m gonna do to you when you get here?”
“What are you gonna do to me, Billy?”
“I’m gonna go so slow, sweetheart. Takin’ off your clothes, lettin’ your hair down, cause I know you got it tied up, don’t ya?”
He didn’t wait for her to answer. “Then, I’m gonna lay you down and run my lips all over that sweet body. You hear me, Renie?”
“I hear you,” she breathed.
“Then, I’m gonna cover your body with mine, sink into you nice and slow. I’ll watch your face as you close your eyes and throw your head back, makin’ those love noises that drive me wild.”
If he kept this up, she wouldn’t be able to keep driving. “I’m hanging up now, Billy. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Hurry, sweet girl,” she heard him say right before she ended the call.
Billy met her at the back door. He was shirtless, the first two buttons of his 501 jeans were undone, and his feet were bare. He lifted her up and held her against the wall. His mouth found her neck as she wrapped her legs around his waist.
“God, Renie, I need you so much.” He reached up and took the clip out of her hair, and pulled her jacket off her shoulders before he remembered they weren’t alone in the house, and carried her into his bedroom.
He needed his lips touching hers. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. “Thank you, Renie.”
“Don’t thank me, Billy.”
“No, don’t close your eyes, look at me.”
She did.
“I needed this. I needed you. I needed to know we were still connected, that’s why I’m thanking you. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I didn’t get to see you this mornin’.”
He laid her down on the bed and started to take off her clothes. When she tried to help, he stopped her. “No, let me. I need to do this.”
She rested her hands at her sides and watched his eyes linger over each part of her body he uncovered. When she was naked, he tangled one hand in her hair. “Renie, I…”
She reached up and put her hand over his mouth. “Shh. Just love me, Billy. Please.”
“But—”
“Shh,” she said again before she lifted up to take his mouth with hers.
It was nine before she got back on the road, and that was after begging Billy to let her go. She almost wished she’d let Ben fly over to get her.
Her phone rang again.
“Hey,” she answered, without looking to see who was calling. She assumed it was Billy.
“Hi, honey,” said her mom. “How far are you?”
“I’m not even to the Springs yet.”
“Have you listened to the weather? Monarch Pass is closed.”
No, she hadn’t. She’d been too wrapped up in Billy to think about the weather.
“Oh, no.”
“I’m glad I reached you before you got further. Ben will come get you.”
“It’s okay, Mom. I can wait until the weather clears up. I’ll head home. I mean, to Billy’s.”
“See whether he can give you a ride up to the airport.”
Renie didn’t want to tell her mom that Billy and Dottie were going to Texas, or why. She didn’t know when they were leaving, or how they were getting there. She could drive herself to the airport and leave her car there.
“I’ll call when he’s leaving.”
“Are you flying over with him?”
“Not this time, honey. Ben is flying over with his dad. I’ll
call you when I know more.”
She called Billy when her mom ended their call. “I miss you too much. I’m coming back.”
“Wait. What? You’re comin’ back? Really? Shit. That’s great!”
“Monarch Pass is closed.”
“You are such a brat.”
“I’m still coming back, so you better retract that insult, Patterson.”
“I’ll be waitin’ here in bed for you. Ready and willin’, by the way.”
“When are you leaving?”
“Our flight’s this afternoon, baby.” His voice got soft to match the tone of hers. “I’m so sorry about this.”
“Don’t, Billy.”
“Aw, don’t cry, honey. God, just hurry back here. But, Renie, be safe, okay?”
“I will. I’ll be there in a minute.”
His life was one big Charlie Foxtrot. He wasn’t riding, he was in love with Renie Fairchild, and he might be a daddy. Shit.
He heard the back door open. God, he was happy she was back. He wished more than anything she’d go to Texas with him. With Renie by his side, he could face anything life threw in his direction.
“You lit a fire,” she said as she took off her coat and tossed it on the chair.
He sat up and looked her in the eye. “I love you, Renie.”
She snuggled up against him.
“Wait, that isn’t supposed to make you cry.” Why was she crying again?
“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m glad you love me, Billy.”
“You are?”
“Yeah.”
“Does that mean we’re gonna make it through all this?”
“I’m not sure what it means, but I guess so. One way or another.”
“Oh no, it’s gonna be one way, darlin’, and that’s with you and me sharin’ sheets on a regular basis.”
At noon, Renie’s phone buzzed.
“Hey, Mom, is Ben on his way?”
“No, honey, they’ve been at the airport waiting for the weather to clear. It doesn’t look as though it’s getting any better. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. We’ll have to wait until tomorrow.”
“It’s okay,” she answered, knowing her disappointment hung heavily on her words. “We’ll talk in the morning then. Bye, Mom.”
Dance with Me (Cowboys of Crested Butte Book 2) Page 7