218 First Hugs

by E. L. Todd

  “I don’t mind not having rules.”

  I knew that meant sex was on the table. Both men wanted to show me what they could do to persuade me I should pick them. I felt like a slut because I’d never done anything like that, but if neither of them cared, I wouldn’t object. “I’ll talk to him.”

  “Alright.” He wrapped his arm around me and kissed me on the forehead. “Good night.”

  I closed my eyes when he kissed me, the same reaction I always had. “Good night…”

  “Let me know.” He walked out and shut the door behind him.

  I watched the girls continue to play with their dolls in front of the TV, laughing and living in their own little world. It was easy to enjoy the sight and not think about anything else. Soon, I would have to make a decision about who I wanted to be with. It was a difficult choice because I knew how permanent it was.

  Whomever I picked would be the man I spent the rest of my life with.

  14

  Bree

  We walked into the house after work and let Dino into the backyard so he could do his business. After being cooped up in the house all day, he was eager to be outside under the sun with the breeze in his fur.

  Cypress left the back doors wide open then grabbed a beer from the fridge. “Want one?”

  “No thanks.”

  “You used to drink beer all the time.”

  “I did?” I found it unlikely I’d acquired a taste for it. I usually preferred wine or a cocktail.

  “Yep. It was the only thing I would pick up at the store, so you got used to it.” He twisted off the cap then took a drink.

  “You know, you could easily lie to me about stuff just to get me to do it.”

  “True…” He waggled his eyebrows. “Maybe now isn’t the best time to tell you how you always gave me a blow job every day when we came home from work…”

  I rolled my eyes and walked away. “Nice try.”

  He chuckled then came up behind me. “So, what do you want to do?”

  “Well, maybe we can get started on moving things over.”

  “Yeah?” He grabbed my arm and gently turned me around so we were face-to-face. “I would love to. But where should we live? Here or there?”

  “I assumed at my place. That’s where we lived before, right?”

  “Yeah. Sounds good to me. I bought this place for a great price, so I should be able to get a good price on it in return.”

  “Cool. So…where do we start? Are all my things packed away in boxes somewhere?”’

  “No.” His hands moved around my waist, and he gave me that affectionate look I was used to. “Most of your clothes are still in my closet. Our pictures are in a few photo albums here in the living room. Most of this furniture is new stuff I bought once I moved out, so we could donate it. Honestly, there’s not much. It should take a day.”

  “That’s nice.”

  “I’ll leave the furniture inside when I put up the for sale sign. Maybe someone will want everything.”

  “Everything is in good condition.”

  “Yeah. I have our wedding china, so we’ll need to keep that. I have some other things too…”

  We were really doing this. Cypress was really going to move in with me and start over…or pick up where we left off. I wasn’t entirely sure. But either way, we were moving forward.

  Cypress watched me with his blue eyes. “Are you sure you wanna do this? Because there’s no rush. I’ll wait forever—you know that.”

  “I’m sure, Cypress.”

  “Because you’re gonna have to see my face all the time. You’re gonna have to share your toothpaste with me, and sometimes your toothbrush. I’m gonna make moves every morning and every night, so there’s gonna be lots of sex. And not to mention, you’re gonna find my dirty socks all over the place.”

  I smiled because none of that sounded bad. “I’ll manage.”

  “And you’re gonna wake up to dog breath too.”

  I cocked an eyebrow.

  “From Dino, not me.”

  I chuckled when I understood what he said. “Oh, okay. I feel better now.”

  “So that’s a firm yes? Because I’m gonna put this house on the market immediately.”

  “I’m sure.” Cypress had proved himself to me a million times over. He was committed to this marriage, even when I wasn’t even aware we were together. He kept his vow and loved me every single day, never giving up on me even when I threw in the towel. I knew he was a different person than he was when we were together the first time. He was so different I hardly believed he was the same person.

  But he was my husband.

  And I loved him.

  A smile melted across his face, and he pressed his forehead against mine. “Then let’s get started.”

  * * *

  “I’m glad you aren’t mad at Ace.”

  Cypress pulled all the boxes down from the top shelf and placed them on the floor of the walk-in closet. “Why would I be?”

  “Because he was fooling around with her for so long. You were pissed when he slept with her one time.”

  “That was different.” Cypress glanced at all the labels on the boxes before he stood up. “I thought he just used her. But now I know they had a relationship…and I hope that relationship continues.”

  “I don’t want her to pick Evan either. I hate that guy.”

  “You don’t hate him more than I do.” He pushed his clothes to the side in the closet, revealing all of my stuff on hangers. On the shelf next to it was a jewelry box.

  “She would be stupid not to pick Ace.”

  “I know…but she might not.”

  “I don’t know how I’m going to accept it.”

  “Me neither,” he said. “I know I should give him another chance because your family gave me another chance…but it’ll still be hard.”

  “It’s not the same thing at all, Cypress.” Evan was married with two kids, and he took off, leaving Amelia high and dry. Cypress and I had only been dating for a few months. We weren’t married for eight years. “Don’t compare yourself to that asshole. You’re nothing like him.”

  Cypress turned away. “Here’s all the stuff you’ve kept over the years. Souvenirs from our trips, extra pictures, just a bunch of things I knew you wouldn’t want to part with…even though you don’t remember it.”

  “Thanks.” I opened the first book and found a blue blanket. It didn’t seem important enough to keep, but it must have some significance.

  “That’s the blanket we used to take to the beach all the time. My mom knitted it for us.”

  “Ooh…” I felt it in my fingertips. “It’s nice.”

  Cypress opened some old boxes and started placing his clothes inside. Old jeans and sweaters went into the pile. “I’m glad I only have to carry this next door.”

  “Yeah…” I spotted the garment bag at the end of the clothing line. Something was inside, and it reached all the way to the floor. Only one thing came to mind, and I wondered if my suspicion was correct. “Cypress?”

  He loaded the box to the top then closed the lid. “Hmm?”

  “Is this my wedding dress?” I pushed the other clothes aside so I could get a better look at it. I could see some of the white color of the fabric, but most of it was covered by the plastic.

  Cypress turned to me, his eyes unreadable. “Yeah.”

  I grabbed the zipper and slowly pulled it down. Inside the bag was a beautiful white gown with a rhinestone pattern in the center where the two straps met. It was in perfect condition except for the bottom of the dress, which was stained with dirt because it dragged on the floor when I wore it.

  I couldn’t believe I’d worn this.

  I had a wedding day.

  I’d been a bride.

  The happiest day of my life came and went, and I couldn’t remember it at all.

  Looking at it brought tears to my eyes. I was heartbroken that I couldn’t remember such an important day. I couldn’t remember what it was lik
e to walk down the aisle to my husband. I couldn’t remember what it was like when he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I didn’t remember the food at our wedding or our honeymoon.

  I didn’t remember any of it.

  “Sweetheart…” Cypress circled his arms around me and pressed his lips against my hairline. “What’s wrong?”

  I released the bottom of the dress and stared at it as it hung on the hanger. “I’m just sad I don’t remember it… I don’t remember anything. This dress is so beautiful, and I don’t remember picking it out.”

  He kissed my forehead. “It must be hard…”

  “I missed the happiest day of my life. That gown had been on me, but I can’t remember the way it felt. I can’t remember how the fabric felt against my fingertips. I can’t remember when you took it off of me…”

  “Well, I remember. I remember for the both of us.”

  I moved my face into his chest so he couldn’t see my tears. “What was it like?”

  Cypress pulled me to his chest and rested his chin on my head. “We decided we wanted to see each other before the ceremony. It was just us and the photographers. Down the street was this beautiful door covered with ivy. I stood there, looking the other way. When you were ready, you tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around.

  “You were already in tears because you couldn’t stop crying. And then I couldn’t stop crying.”

  I sniffed into his chest.

  “Your hair was long and in curls. You did your own makeup because you didn’t like the way the artist did it, and I was happy you redid it that way. You looked just like you, the woman I fell in love with. We stood together, and the photographers took our pictures as we cried and said we loved each other. It’s a moment I’ll never forget… I think it’s my favorite memory from that day.”

  I closed my eyes and tried to feel a memory I’d never experienced. I tried to absorb his words and understand exactly how it felt.

  “We had grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for one of the appetizers. People loved it.”

  I chuckled.

  “Dinner was great. We had different food stations that people enjoyed. We even had a macaroni bar.”

  “That sounds good…”

  “For our first dance, we danced to ‘Magnet and Steel.’”

  “What kind of cake did we have?”

  “Carrot and chocolate.”

  “Carrot is my favorite…”

  “It’s mine too. We spent most of the night dancing with our friends. We had a photo booth. When the wedding was over, we went downtown to a bar with everyone, and since it was Halloween, everyone thought we were dressed up for the holiday.”

  I chuckled again.

  “Then we went back to the room at two in the morning, made love, took a short nap, and then left for the airport.”

  “It sounded nice…”

  “It was the best day of my life.” He pulled away so he could look me in the eye. “And I’ll never forget it.”

  I’d do anything to get back the years I’d lost. They were in my brain somewhere, I just couldn’t access them. I loved Cypress, but I wished I knew how I loved him before. I wished I remembered everything about our relationship, even the difficult times.

  “I know you’re sad you don’t remember everything. But we’re gonna make a lot of incredible memories together. We still have our whole lives together. There’s so much more for us to experience.”

  “I know…”

  He kissed my forehead and squeezed both of my hands. “Today, we’re making a memory together. It’s the first day of the rest of our lives.”

  * * *

  All of his clothes were now at my house, along with everything else he needed on a daily basis. He’d already talked to his Realtor about putting the house back on the market, and Dino made himself at home like he’d never left.

  Now my closet wasn’t just full of my things. Cypress’s t-shirts took up half of the room. His boxers and socks had now taken up some of my drawers, kicking my stuff out. His electric toothbrush sat on the counter with the cord plugged into the wall. His razor was there as well.

  Now I lived with a man.

  I lived with my husband.

  We woke up in the morning at the same time, had sex, and then went to work. We stopped a coffee shop and got coffee before we entered the office on Mission Street. It already felt like a routine even though only a few days had gone by.

  Amelia was in the office when we walked inside, but the guys had already left for their positions.

  “So, how’s the love life?” I asked.

  Amelia closed her laptop because she was finished doing whatever she needed to do. “I’m going to go on a date with each one of them. After that, I’ll make my decision.”

  Did she really need to go on a date to figure it out? “When is that happening?”

  “Not sure yet. But soon.”

  “Two guys fighting for you…that must be fun.”

  “They aren’t fighting,” she said. “It’s more of the opposite.” She eyed Cypress at his desk before she turned back to me. “You guys seem to be doing well…”

  Cypress flipped through some paperwork before he stood up again. “I’ll let you two have girl talk. I’ll see you later, sweetheart.” He gave me a smile before he walked out, his coffee still in his hand.

  “How’s the new roommate?” Amelia asked.

  “Good. It’s been weird, but it also feels right, you know?”’

  “I know it feels right because you guys used to be so happy. I know things will get even better.”

  “We moved all of his stuff over to my place except the furniture. But I haven’t seen my ring…I thought we would come across it by now, but we haven’t. I found my wedding dress though.”

  “Oh, that gown is so beautiful. Did you love it?”

  “I fell in love. It made me sad that I can’t remember wearing it…”

  “Well, I remember how beautiful you looked. Take my word for it.”

  “Thanks, sis.”

  She drank her coffee as she kept her eyes on me. “So, sounds like you and Cypress are really making it work this time.”

  “Yeah. I didn’t think I could forgive him, but I trust him. It’s crazy that I trust him after what he did. Do you think it’s stupid?” Cypress did a terrible thing, and it only took a few months for me to love him with all my heart. Sometimes I wondered if that was too fast, if his rugged handsomeness was affecting my ability to think clearly.

  “Not at all,” she said. “Cypress is nothing like he used to be. It took him an entire year to get on my good side, even though he more than proved it a long time ago. When I look at Cypress, I don’t think about what he did. I think about how incredible he is now. I think about how loyal, loving, and passionate he is. You’re his whole world, Bree. You never need to worry about his eyes wandering where they shouldn’t. He only has eyes for you.”

  “Thanks…I needed to hear that.”

  “His house won’t be on the market for long. Someone is going to snatch it up.”

  “You’re right. He’s not even asking much for it. He just wants to get rid of it.”

  She smiled before she drank her coffee.

  “What?” I’d known that look since we were little.

  “He probably wants to get rid of it so you won’t change your mind,” she said with a chuckle.

  “I’m not going to change my mind. I think we have a lot of work to do, but I think it’ll work out. I just wish we weren’t going straight into marriage…”

  Amelia gave me a peculiar look. “I don’t understand your meaning.”

  “I just wish we could experience all the steps all over again, like dating and then moving in together…and then getting married. We’re skipping right to the end, but I wish I could experience all of those parts.”

  “Bree…if you aren’t ready to move in—”

  “It’s not that I’m not ready. I just wish I’d gotten to experience
everything before this. It’s hard to explain…”

  Amelia placed her hand on my thigh and gave me a gentle pat. “No, I get it. I wish I could say something to make it better, to tell you enough stories that you can feel like you remember…but I can’t. You’ll have to believe me when I say you and Cypress were in love and happy for a long time before you got married. And when you became husband and wife, you loved each other even more.”

  15

  Blade

  “Why are we here?” I sat at the table with Ace and Amelia in the middle of the lunch hour. Bree was at the café because she was purposely not invited to this meeting. Seeing the rush of customers while I sat on my ass and did nothing made me twitch in discomfort. I wasn’t used to doing nothing.

  Cypress finally fell into the chair and joined us after he finished up in the kitchen at Olives. We had iced teas in front of us along with a big plate of hummus and pita bread. “Thanks for meeting me.”

  “What’s this about?” I asked. “And why can’t Bree know about it?”

  “Having secrets from your wife isn’t a good way to start a marriage,” Ace warned.

  “It’s not a bad secret,” Cypress said. “I just need your help with something.”

  “What is it?” Amelia asked.

  Cypress looked out the window, like Bree might walk by any minute. “Things have been going well with her, but she’s upset she can’t remember anything. She can’t remember my proposal, she can’t remember the wedding, and it breaks my heart. I know it kills her.”

  “She said the same thing to me,” Amelia said. “It makes me sad.”

  “Unless you’ve made a scientific discovery, I don’t see how you can change any of that.” I didn’t want to sound like an asshole, but that was just the truth.

  “I can’t change of that,” Cypress said. “But what if I recreated it?”

  Everyone took a moment to understand what he meant. Ace was the first one to smile, getting it quicker than the rest of us. Amelia’s eyes softened as she looked at Cypress, the emotion written all over her face. It took me a moment longer to grasp his intentions. “How can you redo everything?”