218 First Hugs

by E. L. Todd

  I kissed them each on the heads then turned off the light before I shut the door.

  Ace was in the hallway with a hard expression on his face. He watched me like I was a TV screen, analyzing every single move I made. He practically counted my breaths and the number of times I blinked.

  I recognized the tension between us. It wasn’t awkward or difficult. It was a different kind of tension, the kind that led us into the bedroom. He took me by the hand and pulled me into the master bedroom on the opposite side of the house. The lights were off, and he didn’t bother turning them on. He pulled his shirt over his head then immediately yanked off mine. My arms moved above my head, and his fingers caressed mine even when the fabric was free. With a strong grip, he placed my hands against his chest before he pressed his face to mine. He didn’t kiss me, purposely restraining himself from letting his soft lips touch mine.

  He undid my jeans as he kept his eyes locked to mine. It was more intimate than sex, having a connection like this. I could feel all of his emotions, all of his desires. Undressing was my least favorite part of sex, but he somehow turned it into foreplay.

  He pulled my jeans down to my ankles then pulled my panties down too. He was on his knees when I was naked, and he pressed his lips against the skin of my legs, particularly my inner thighs. He worshiped me with his mouth, moving across my skin but never moving to the place where I wanted to feel him most.

  “Ace…” My fingers dug into his hair, and I used his strong frame for balance. He was going to make me come without even touching the area that was throbbing.

  He stood up almost immediately after I said his name and dropped his jeans and boxers. I helped him get them down and ended up on my knees. But instead of kissing him the way he did to me, my mouth immediately went to his length, and I took him all the way to the back of my throat.

  Ace moaned quietly, telling me how much he enjoyed it. His hand moved into my hair, and he caressed the back of my neck. He gently thrust into me, matching my pace and not changing it. His big dick moved into my mouth and made my saliva drip from the corner of my mouth.

  Even though it hurt to sit on my knees, having his length inside my mouth felt incredible. I wanted to make him feel as good as he did for me. My tongue worked his length, cushioning him from my teeth.

  He pulled my mouth away, and a string of saliva stretched between my mouth and the head of his cock. When he pulled me to my feet, it broke apart. Ace guided me onto the bed, positioning me at the edge so my ass hung over. My legs were cradled in his arms, and he scooted me until I was perfectly positioned underneath him. As strong as a Roman soldier, his physique was lined with powerful muscles that had the strength to pick up a car. His ass was firm and tight, and his narrow waist led up to rock-hard abs. He pressed his cock into my entrance then slid inside, parting me until his entire dick was deep within me.

  I couldn’t think.

  My hands latched on to his forearms, and I tossed my head back. My eyes closed, and I treasured this exquisite feeling, this sensation of being a wanted woman.

  His powerful hands kept me in place as he thrust into me, giving me his thick cock over and over. He took his time and didn’t pound into me the way he did when we usually hooked up. He took it slow, enjoying every inch of our bodies as they moved over each other.

  It was incredible. All I did was lie there and enjoy him, but that was the sexy part of it. He wanted me so much that he pinned me down so he could enjoy it, do exactly what he wanted to my body. He conquered it and took his pleasure.

  I opened my eyes and looked into his gaze, seeing a man who was both my friend and my lover. If I spent the rest of my life this, I would be happy. I would feel treasured, protected, and loved. Our appearances would change as time passed, but we would still love each other just as much. The fire and passion between us couldn’t be extinguished, not even by time.

  We moved like that for a long time, and I stopped myself from coming even though my body was desperate for a release. I wanted to wait until he was ready, wanting to come at the exact same moment.

  But he was making it impossible for me to wait. “I want to come with you…” My hands slid up his forearms, and I gripped the crook between his forearm and bicep.

  He moved his hands to the bed and leaned farther over me, his body rubbing right against my clit.

  Oh god.

  He thrust into me deeper and harder, giving me every inch of his length that could fit inside me. His face was just inches from mine, and his beautiful body worked to please me. I loved watching his muscles ripple and shift with every movement he made. “Baby, I love you.”

  I inhaled a deep breath when I heard him say those words. They were words I already felt in my heart. They were words that scarred me when I saw him with Lady. After months of fooling around in dark corners where no one would catch us, I’d thought I didn’t mean anything to him.

  But I was wrong.

  “I love you too.”

  He pressed his face to mine and finally gave me the kiss I’d been waiting for. I was full of his cock, treasured by his big hands, and out of breath from his kiss. I’d never felt more desirable in my entire life.

  “Come for me,” he said into my mouth. He shoved his cock farther inside me, moving into my tight channel and stretching me apart.

  My arms locked around his neck, and I breathed into his mouth. I couldn’t kiss him when I was this close to exploding. I could barely think straight. My thighs parted farther apart so I could take more of his length, ready to be the recipient of all that come. “Ace…” My pussy gripped his dick violently as I came, my moans surprised by his mouth against mine.

  He paused with his length fully inside me and released, giving me his come at the same time.

  “God, yes…” I grabbed his ass and kept him inside me, feeling the warmth and weight of his seed. My mouth was open, and I couldn’t close it because I wasn’t getting enough air. My body was in overdrive, and there wasn’t enough gasoline to keep me going.

  He released a quiet moan as he finished, his entire body flexed with the exertion.

  My hands glided to his hair, and I finally kissed him, the heat slowly passing.

  He stayed buried inside me, his cock softening. “I’m not gonna stop until you tell me to.”

  “Good.” I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth. “I never want you to stop.”

  * * *

  When we woke up the next morning, I didn’t ask Ace to leave early. We both woke up to the sound of my alarm and got ready. Ace took a shower, put on the clothes he wore the night before, and made the girls breakfast while I got ready.

  We walked out together, and before Ace walked to the office, he gave me a kiss goodbye.

  “Bye, Uncle Ace.” Rose waved before she hopped into the car.

  Lily waved too. “Bye.”

  Ace raised his hand and smiled, looking more handsome than I’d ever seen him. “See you later.” He gave me a final look before he started walking to work.

  We didn’t talk about last night. We didn’t talk about my date with Evan. Nothing was said at all.

  The ball was entirely in my court.

  I dropped off the girls at school then went to work. Ace wasn’t there because he must have already headed to Olives or the café, but Bree was there.

  And her eyes were stuck on me like pointed daggers.

  “Here we go…” I grabbed the schedule and concentrated on my name before she started her speech.

  “If you don’t pick Ace, I’m gonna slap you.”

  There it was. “Thanks for letting me know.”

  “I’m not watching the girls tonight.”

  “That’s fine. I’ll ask Sara.”

  “You can’t be serious.” Bree got to her feet, her hands on her hips. “You can’t sleep with Evan after your date with Ace. You just can’t. The guy took your kids on the date. You’d be an idiot not to pick him.”

  She spoke to me like I wasn’t already aware of all of this.
“Bree, you’re telling me everything I already know. This is something I need to figure out on my own. I already asked Sara, so she’s coming by. You don’t need to worry about betraying your loyalty to Ace.”

  “It’s not about loyalty,” she said. “Remember when you told me I was being stupid about Cypress?”

  Absolutely.

  “Well, now we’re in reverse. You’re being stupid about Ace, and I need to tell you that.”

  “Bree, drop it.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You’re as stubborn as a mule.”

  “Evan is the father of my—”

  “Yeah, yeah. I’ve already heard this.” She walked out of the office and left me there alone.

  Instead of going to work right away, I sat at my desk and considered what she’d said. I knew how my family felt about the situation. I knew how Ace felt. And I even knew how I felt. But the answer still wasn’t that simple.

  * * *

  My heart was beating a million miles a minute. The second I heard the knock on the door, the adrenaline spiked in my blood. Like a thousand horses were racing in my temples, I could feel the pulse in my head.

  Sara was in the living room with the girls, so I answered the door.

  Evan walked inside in jeans and a collared shirt. His hair had just been cut. It didn’t make much of a difference, but I noticed any little change he made. His jaw had just been shaved too, and I liked the clean look around his mouth. “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  He walked farther inside and said hello to the girls. Just like when they were excited to see Ace, they were excited to see him. They both hugged him at the same time and sprinkled his face with kisses.

  Ugh, this was hard.

  Evan said goodbye then returned to me in the doorway. “You look nice.”

  I was wearing a dark blue dress with sandals that I stole from Bree. “Thanks.” I did my hair differently, curling it instead of the usual straight look. I wore a silver bracelet, but my fingers were still absent of any rings.

  My wedding ring was inside my nightstand where I hadn’t touched it.

  “Ready?” he asked.

  “Yeah.”

  He took my hand and walked me out. Our fingers were interlocked together, and it almost felt like years in the past when we would get a sitter so we could enjoy some alone time. Evan asked me about work on the way, but he didn’t ask about Ace.

  Not that he wanted to know anything about the date.

  He took me to Casanova, and the significance wasn’t lost on me.

  It was where we had our first date.

  Evan had reservations, and we were taken to the exact same table where we ate for the first time. It was underneath a peculiar painting that I hadn’t forgotten about. It was more private than the other sections of the room. Van Gogh’s table was right beside us, only for looks and not for sitting.

  Evan ordered a bottle of my favorite wine then looked at his menu.

  When he wasn’t looking, I stared at his features. He had a lean jawline and hollow cheeks. With naturally rugged features, he looked like a man who would be at home on a movie poster. He had beautiful eyes, a soft feature in comparison to the rest of his pure masculinity. He only had one freckle, and it was nearly underneath his jaw. It was hard to see unless you already knew it was there.

  There were so many things I loved about Evan. He was a great father, he was hardworking, and he had a big heart. I fell in love with him before the end of our first date. I slept with him that night, and it felt right. Not a day went by when I’d wondered if I’d married too young or rushed into having kids.

  Because Evan was the one.

  But it didn’t matter how much I loved him or the kind of history we had. It didn’t matter that we would wake up at midnight together just to put the girls’ presents under the tree. It didn’t matter that we had something beautiful.

  Because everything was different now.

  Evan looked up at me, detecting the change in atmosphere. He looked at me with those soft eyes, but they quickly hardened in pain. He didn’t need to hear me say anything to know what I was thinking.

  He knew.

  “I’m sorry, Evan…” I was about to break down into tears before we even ordered. The bottle of wine sat there, but we didn’t pour a single glass. My heart ached for the pain I was about to cause him, but I knew I had to do it.

  His eyes shifted down to the table, and his shoulders slumped. “We haven’t even—”

  “It’s not going to change anything.” I knew Ace was the one I wanted to be with. The idea of sleeping with Evan made me feel so guilty that I couldn’t go through with it. And the only reason I felt that way was because I was obviously in love with someone else.

  Evan still wouldn’t look at me. His fingers locked together on the table, and he released a quiet sigh before he looked up. He finally met my gaze, but there was heartbreak in the look. “Amelia, just think about it. We’ve been married for eight years—”

  “I will always love you, Evan.” My hands moved on top of his on the rustic wood. My fingers gripped his as if the affection would cushion the heartbreak. “I want to be a family again. I want to go back to what we were…but we can’t.”

  “If Ace weren’t in the picture, I know you would take me back.”

  “But he is in the picture, Evan.”

  “But if you’re willing to work on this marriage with me without him, then don’t you think you should do it even if you have feelings for him? You know I’ll be understanding of that as we move forward. We have two kids, Amelia. It should be us. We’re a family. We already built a life together.”

  “I know all of that, Evan. But…you left me.”

  He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw.

  “You broke my heart. You left me for another woman. You betrayed my trust. You…you are the one who threw us away. Not me. So don’t put the blame on me. I won’t allow that.”

  “I wasn’t putting the blame on you, Amelia. I just—”

  “You’re making me feel guilty for not taking you back, that I’m the one breaking up our family. Evan, you left me for a woman ten years younger than me. My tits aren’t as perky as they used to be, and I’m not as thin as I was when we first met. You wanted a younger, fitter woman. Let’s not forget that part of the story.”

  “Like I ever could,” he whispered.

  “I’ve forgiven you for it. I know you’re sorry. I still wish it never happened. I still wish we were happy together…because we were really happy.”

  He nodded, his eyes filling with moisture.

  “But I deserve someone who wouldn’t make that mistake. I know Ace would never betray me. I know he would never hurt me. With him…it feels right. I never looked at him this way before you left me. But now, I can’t picture myself with anyone but him.”

  He closed his eyes, and that’s when a tear escaped.

  I felt like shit.

  He took a deep breath and quickly wiped it away.

  “Evan, I’m sorry. I hate hurting you… I love you.”

  He leaned back in his chair and looked down, doing his best to hide his emotions from me and the rest of the room.

  I didn’t know what else to say. I’d made my decision, and I’d brought down the blade that executed him. I wished there were a way I could have both, but there wasn’t. Neither one of us could erase the past. Evan made his decision to leave me for someone else, to walk away from his family without saying more than two words to me.

  I couldn’t take him back.

  I deserved better.

  I deserved more.

  * * *

  We left the restaurant without ordering dinner. I left a large bill to cover the inconvenience we’d caused. Evan and I walked back to my place together, but we didn’t say a single word to each other. He had his hands in his pockets, and he didn’t try to grab my hand.

  It was a long walk.

  We turned onto my street and kept walking, our feet dragging against the roa
d. This night was just as painful for me as it was for him. It was a night we both wanted to end even though the pain would never really go away.

  Evan stopped in front of the house, not taking the stone steps to the front door. He kept his distance, probably not wanting to see the kids.

  I stared at him, unsure what happened now. I didn’t want to repeat myself when it would probably only make him feel worse.

  He kept his hands in his pockets and stared at the house.

  “I’m sorry, Evan.”

  He finally looked at me, his eyes lidded with pain. “Don’t apologize to me…I fucked this up.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “I wish Ace weren’t in the picture. I wish I could have my wife back…my family back. But you’re right. I’m the reason this nightmare is happening. You’ve already forgiven me…and that’s more than I could ask for.”

  My heart was breaking again.

  “You deserve better,” he whispered. “Better than me. I’m just so selfish that I don’t want to give it to you.”

  “Evan…”

  “You have no idea how much I wish I could go back in time and change everything. I’d give anything…anything at all. It was so fucking stupid.” He dragged his hands down his face as the tears started again. “I lost everything that ever mattered to me. I lost the only woman who’s ever really loved me. I lost my kids…and another man is replacing me.”

  “That’s not true.” I grabbed his hands and pressed my face close to his. “No one could ever replace you, Evan.”

  “Ace is going to move in and see my girls every day. He’s going to be the one to take them to school…pick them up. Make dinner for them and be the man they turn to when they grow up.”

  “So are you, Evan. We aren’t getting back together, but we’re still a family. We’ll always be a family.”

  He squeezed my hands back and sniffed.