218 First Hugs

by E. L. Todd

  “I love you, and you love me. Our girls need both of us—and that’s something they’ll never lose. I don’t want you to think that.”

  “But everything will be different now.”

  “It’s been different for over a year,” I said. “But we’ll find a new way to be a family. You can still take them to school every morning. You can still take them to dinner. I’ll never keep you away from them, and Ace never would either.”

  “Okay…but I still don’t get you.”

  I looked down at our joined hands because I couldn’t meet his gaze. Nothing would cushion the blow that hurt him the most. I didn’t want to give him false hope, not when I knew Ace and I would last forever. “But you have everything else. And you’ll always have a part of me. No matter how much I love Ace, you’ll always have a piece of my heart.”

  Evan moved his lips to my forehead and kissed me, his lips warm and soft against my skin.

  I closed my eyes, and now I tried not to cry. When I looked up to meet his gaze, I saw his wet eyes. My tears didn’t need to fall for me to know that the same tears were in my eyes. I rose on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his, giving him the last kiss we would ever have.

  He kissed me back, a soft kiss that was full love as well as pain. It wasn’t like the other kisses we’d shared throughout our time together. It wasn’t full of passion or lust. It was just love…a different kind of love.

  I pulled away and stepped back, the tears getting heavier in my eyes. They were about to streak down my cheeks, and I didn’t want Evan to witness them. If I broke down, he would do the same. “I’ll see you later…”

  “I love you,” he whispered. “Forever.”

  Now I couldn’t control my emotions. The tears fell and streaked like raindrops on a windshield. “I know…and I love you forever.”

  * * *

  I didn’t want to call Ace right away and tell him to come over. While I didn’t regret the decision I made, I was still heartbroken over what I’d lost. In the back of my mind, I’d always hoped Evan and I would find our way back to each other.

  But now that would never happen.

  I was too emotional, too upset to talk to Ace. Out of respect for Evan, I thought it would be wrong to run off to Ace when our relationship came to such a heartbreaking end. But I didn’t want Ace to think I was sleeping with Evan that night. I didn’t want him to toss and turn, feeling sick to his stomach at the thought of Evan touching me.

  When I was in my empty bed, I texted him. I want you to know that I told Evan it wasn’t going to work out. We didn’t even get through dinner. He walked me home, said goodbye, and then left. I don’t want to talk to anyone right now, but I wanted you to know I’m alone for the night.

  The three dots from his phone immediately popped up. He’d obviously kept his phone on hand the entire time, hoping I would text him. Thanks for letting me know. Good night, baby.

  My eyes crinkled at the affectionate name, knowing he’d just claimed me as his forever. Good night.

  I lay on my side of the bed and stared at the empty spot beside me. This mattress was the one Evan and I had shared since the day we got married. It was where we made love for the first time as a married couple. It had a lot of memories.

  If I made the right decision, why did I feel so terrible? Was Ace right about me? That I cared more about other people than I cared about myself? That his heartbreak is what broke me?

  I shouldn’t second-guess myself. When I sat across from Evan at dinner, I knew exactly how I felt. It was unmistakable. The pit of my stomach was heavy with stress, and my body was answering a question my heart couldn’t.

  That Ace was my choice.

  I didn’t sleep that night even though I was exhausted. I just lay there, drifting in and out of consciousness. Even though the time drifted by slowly, it seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. Before I knew it, my alarm went off and I was out of bed.

  I took the girls to school before I headed to work. Ace probably told everyone my decision, so I wouldn’t have to explain anything once I walked inside. When I entered the office, everyone was there.

  Blade gave me a sympathetic look, telling me he knew exactly what happened.

  Bree wore a slight smile, obviously pleased by my decision.

  Cypress looked at me like he always did, like I was his little sister.

  Instead of smiling in joy, Ace’s face mirrored the sadness on mine. He got out of his chair and walked over to me, carrying a gentleness that was reserved for me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. “You doing okay, baby?”

  All I did was nod.

  Bree came up behind me and hugged me, her face resting against my back. “We’re here, Amelia.”

  “Yeah.” Cypress walked to our huddle and rubbed my shoulder.

  “We’re always here.” Blade couldn’t get to me because I was sandwiched in the middle of everyone, but his proximity was enough affection.

  “I know.” I closed my eyes and cherished the love everyone gave me. I knew I picked the right man when Ace was so understanding. He didn’t gloat at his victory or turn jealous at my sadness. He accepted everything, knowing my feelings were more important than his. “I love you guys.”

  Ace brushed a kiss across my forehead. “We love you too.”

  17

  Bree

  I left my shift early and walked to the diner. The doors were locked, and Cypress was taking care of the register while Amelia was taking care of the tables. I let myself inside and stopped at the counter. “Hi.”

  Cypress looked at me with an expression he never showed to anyone else. It was a smile, but it was more than just any smile. His eyes crinkled in the corners as the affection came over his face. His shoulders straightened, and his body exuded excitement. “Hey.” He said a single word, but it was pregnant with so many things he didn’t say.

  I leaned over the counter and kissed him, just as every wife kissed her husband after a long day of work.

  He kissed me back, his kiss soft and seductive. It was short, but the small embrace was enough to give me chills.

  When I pulled away, I licked my lips and headed to Amelia, feeling the heat rise around my neck.

  Amelia didn’t look at me, but she’d obviously witnessed that kiss. “Don’t worry, I’m not looking.” She wiped down the table with a damp cloth then stacked the chairs.

  I helped her. “How are you?”

  “I’m okay,” she said with a sigh. “I’m feeling a million things at once right now…”

  “You wanna talk about it? Get some coffee?”

  “I should finish up here—”

  “Amelia, go,” Cypress said from the counter. “I got it. I’ll pick up the girls from school too.”

  I smiled, loving my husband even more.

  “Thanks, Cypress.” She removed her black apron and set it on the table.

  She and I walked to the bakery and got two coffees and a snack. We sat at one of the tables in the courtyard while everyone enjoyed their afternoon with their friends and their dogs. Amelia was hesitant to say anything, but her expression said everything she couldn’t.

  “It’ll get better,” I finally said. “I’m sure it’s hard right now, but it’ll pass. You made the right decision.”

  “I know I did.” She held her mug without taking a drink. “I’m happy, but I’m miserable at the same time. I hated hurting Evan like that. I should feel good about it, getting my revenge after what he did…but I take no pleasure in it.”

  “I know, Amelia. You aren’t like that.”

  “I guess it hurts the most because I know how sorry he is. I know he truly regrets it. I know he really loves me…”

  I could tell Evan was sorry. When he came to my house, I could see a look of apology I’d never witnessed before. He wasn’t the same man who’d walked out on her. The experienced changed him, made him realize how stupid he was. He knew exactly how much he lost, and that was punishment enough. I actually felt bad
for the guy. “Yeah, I agree.”

  “And if Ace hadn’t come into my life…I’d probably have taken him back.”

  “But you love Ace.”

  She nodded. “I do love him. I love him because he makes me feel good about myself. I love him because he’s a wonderful man. I love him because he’s the only person who really understands me…”

  Not true. I understood her. But I didn’t correct her because it wasn’t important.

  “I’m very lucky to have him,” she said. “He’s great with the girls, and they love him so much.”

  “Yeah…”

  “Ace said something to me that really affected my final decision. He said I’m always doing stuff for other people, always caring about what they want more than what I want…so he asked what I wanted.”

  Ace was a clever man.

  “I wanted to take Evan back because I thought it was the right thing to do for all of us…but Ace is the man I really want. I know he’d never hurt me. I know he’d never betray me. I’m not paranoid about what he’s doing when I’m not with him. I trust him…and I didn’t think I could trust someone after what Evan did.”

  “Ace is the most trustworthy guy on the planet. He’s great.”

  “I know.” She drank from her coffee and stared at the poodle at the nearby table, her eyes full of sadness.

  “You should be happy, Amelia. Don’t let Evan drag you down.”

  “He’s not dragging me down. I still love him. I hate knowing he’s in pain.”

  “I get that.” Amelia was the sweetest person in the world. She didn’t like anyone suffering. She would take the entire burden off everyone’s shoulders and deal with it in silence if she could. “I wish this had never happened. I wish Evan had never left in the first place. We had a great marriage. Even though it ended, I loved being married to him.”

  I wished I remembered being married to Cypress. “But it did end. Let’s not forget why. Let’s not forget the cold way he packed his things and left without looking back. He didn’t comfort you when you cried. He didn’t try to work it out with you. The whole thing happened in the span of three days. You didn’t even have a chance to process it before he was gone.”

  She gave a slight nod.

  “So don’t beat yourself up too hard.”

  “Yeah…you’re right.”

  “You’re just too sweet, Amelia.”

  She smiled. “I used to steal your clothes all the time. I’m not sweet.”

  “You looked better in them anyway,” I said. “Let’s not pretend otherwise.”

  “Oh, shut up,” Amelia said with a laugh. “People always told me you were the hotter sister.”

  “Psh. Yeah, right.” That’s not what I heard.

  Celeste approached our table in a black dress with brown sandals, and until then, I hadn’t noticed that this was her bakery. Her dark hair was pulled over one shoulder, and it trailed down in wavy curls. “Hey, ladies.”

  “Hey.” I stood up and hugged her, and Amelia did the same.

  “Glad you could swing by,” Celeste said. “How’s the coffee?”

  “It’s fantastic,” Amelia said. “I already ate my muffin. That was good too.”

  Celeste pulled up a chair and sat down. “What are you guys up to?”

  “We’re just getting a snack after work.” I figured Amelia didn’t want to talk about her ex-husband and her new boyfriend in front of Celeste.

  “Ace and I are together now,” Amelia said unexpectedly. “I had to end things with my ex-husband, and I’m just a little bummed about it.”

  I was surprised Amelia told her that, but since we were all trying to get Celeste to stay for Blade, Amelia was probably doing everything she could to make her feel included. “I don’t think she needs to feel bad about anything, and I’m trying to convince her of that.”

  “Ace is wonderful,” Celeste said. “He’s been very sweet since the beginning—you guys too.”

  “Yeah, he’s great,” Amelia said with a happy sigh.

  “Have you been with him since you and Evan talked?” I asked.

  “No,” Amelia answered. “I felt too guilty running to Ace right away. I feel like I should wait a day or something. I don’t want to think about Evan when I’m with Ace, you know? And Ace is patient. He’ll understand.”

  When it came to Amelia, he was the most patient man on the planet. “So, how did you like Blade’s parents?”

  Celeste’s face lit up with a beautiful smile once Blade was mentioned. “They were great. Very warm and sweet. It didn’t seem like they remembered that phone conversation. It could have been really awkward, but they went out of their way to make sure that didn’t happen.”

  “His parents are nice,” Amelia said. “Derek is nice too—when he’s in the right mood.”

  “He was sweet to me,” Celeste said. “But I think that’s what made Blade mad.”

  I wanted to press the more serious questions, like if she was planning on staying or not. Summer was almost over, and she needed to make a decision soon. If she didn’t pick Blade, we would all be hurt. Blade had never felt this strongly for a woman before, and we didn’t want her to slip through his fingertips.

  Blade was one of the greatest guys I knew. She would be stupid not to pick him. He was honest, sweet, and thoughtful. He would worship the ground she walked on every single day. But I couldn’t say any of that, not if I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

  “How are you and Cypress?” Amelia asked.

  I felt like we were always talking about my unusual marriage. “We’re good. Still happy. I miss him.” I found myself missing him when he wasn’t around, even if it was only for a few hours. When I walked into the diner and kissed him, I realized I missed him all day while we were apart.

  “Aww…” Celeste smiled. “That’s sweet.”

  “It is sweet,” Amelia said. “And you know what? I bet he feels the exact same way about you.”

  * * *

  I got home first since he was at Amelia’s with the girls. I did a load of laundry, threw dinner in the slow cooker, and tidied up the house before he came home. I showered and did my hair and makeup so I wouldn’t smell like food from the café.

  Just before dinner was ready, he walked through the front door. In jeans and his favorite hoodie, he had a jaw that was covered with a light shadow. He wore a beautiful grin the second he came inside and spotted me on the couch. “There’s something cooking in the kitchen…I’ve got a pretty wife waiting for me…and there’s a fire. It’s a nice way to come home.”

  “I like how dinner came before me on that list,” I said with a smile.

  “Sweetheart, you are dinner.” He sat beside me on the couch, his arm draped over the back and his hand immediately moving to my thigh. He leaned in and kissed me, the kind of kiss that would lead to things we couldn’t do in the living room with all the windows open. He sucked my bottom lip then gently nibbled on it, his warm breath seductive in my mouth.

  My palm cupped his cheek, and I felt his pulse against my pinkie. It was strong and masculine, beating like a drum.

  His hand gripped my leg before he slid it closer to the apex of my thighs.

  No one touched me the way he did. He made me feel like the most beautiful woman in any room. He made me feel important, while everyone else was just shadows.

  He started to lower me back onto the couch, my back against the cushion and my legs moving around his waist.

  Then the slow cooker started beeping.

  He chuckled against my mouth before he released growl. “We’ll pick this up where we left off…”

  We both went into the kitchen, and I prepared the pot roast and spooned it into two bowls. It had been overcast and dreary for the last few days, and a hot stew sounded delicious. We sat at the table together while Dino lay at our feet.

  Cypress had his eyes glued to mine as he ate without watching what he was doing.

  I wasn’t that coordinated.

  “I got an of
fer on the house today.”

  My hand rested against the bowl with my fingers around the spoon. The way he spoke suggested this would be important, so he had my full attention.

  “And they offered more than the asking price.” He set his spoon on the saucer then leaned farther over the table, his sweater stretching over his muscles with his movements. His eyes shifted back and forth between my eyes and my lips, gauging my entire reaction.

  “That’s good, right?” He seemed tense for giving such great news.

  “It is. I was going to accept their offer…unless you don’t want me to.”

  “Why wouldn’t I want you to?” I asked, dumbfounded.

  His eyes narrowed. “So, you’re sure this is what you want? You want me to live here with you? Because when I sell that house…I’m not moving out. I’m staying here until I die—and so are you.”

  When I understood the foundation of his hesitancy, I slid my hand across the table until my fingertips touched the corded veins over his knuckles. I touched him gently, my eyes soft. “Sell it.”

  18

  Blade

  Celeste and I dined in my backyard. I had a back patio made of stone, along with a fire pit. A few years ago, I’d had a brick pizza oven installed, so I made Celeste homemade vegetarian pizza since she didn’t eat a lot of meat. She usually drank wine and ate cheese and bread.

  “This is good.” She sat across from me, her rounded shoulders held back gracefully as she kept up a straight posture. I’d never seen her slouch, even relax for a second unless she was asleep. She always carried herself with confidence and elegance. She stuck out in any room she stepped into, just the way the sun disrupted the night every morning. “I like it.”

  “Thanks. I made the dough myself.”

  “No wonder why you’re a successful restaurant owner.”

  “Because I like food.” Ever since she’d met my parents, we’d been spending more time together. It was mostly sex, talking, and eating—the three things I loved most.

  She glanced up at the white lights that hung up above the patio. I’d just installed them because I thought they would make the backyard look romantic since I had so many rose bushes. They were all in bloom right now, brilliant colors of white and red. “I love the lights…very nice.”