One, Two. Three, Four, Five - she counts to herself, trying to slow her breathing, to focus on anything else around her. Sam pulls her shit together; pulling out her phone she sends a short quick message to her friend.
Fighting again, need to get away. Tlk Lter
–Sam
She looks out the window, the sky looks like black tar - large endless clouds moving in. She doesn’t know what to do, where to go. Her heart breaks, tearing from her chest - she needs to get away from here. She used to always be the smart one, thinking through her actions before doing them.
She was once the star child anyone would have wanted. Having always had passing grades, star captin of the Volleyball team. She used to be a star. Something broke in her along the way, it crept up on her like a foggy mist. Attacked her like a swarm of hornets. There was no way to prevent the inevitable. Sam paces her room unknowingly, concentrating on the silence. Her anger is over the top, wanting desperately to march back down and throw her father out herself.
“Stupid,” she mumbles to herself.
There comes a light tapping from the window. A trail of water runs down the glass, the light drips of heavens own sorrow becomes a pitter-patter as it drifts more fluent, the sound of the drops, the sprinkle of wishful thinking and wishes that would never come true. It almost felt comforting. Sitting at her desk she flips through her notepad, page after page. Her mind spinning, eyes sore from sleep, glancing at the clock, 4:30AM.
Breathing, she continues her search, coming to rest on a white page full of even lines all blank except for one small right bottom corner where Jake wrote her a note.
Come find me ;) 1527 Austin Lane. Don’t miss me too much
She runs her hand over it, closing her eyes. She could almost feel him next to her. Her heart aches, missing his presence. You never know how much someone truly and utterly means to you until that person walks out, but what can you do when the only person that can mend your heart - your soul, is the one that has been breaking it too?
Outside, the roads are becoming slippery and wet. She could imagine those lucky people who are awake are running for cover, trying to avoid being splattered. Jumping over the puddles forming as the storm becomes increasingly heavier.
Sam has always loved the rain - the soft pecks falling onto her bare skin, making her feel alive - sane. She could relate to the rain, rain is like the earths way of releasing its own tears, when she is in it, she can release her own and no one would know, throwing on her DC hoodie and a pair of black boots, pulling the window ajar. The smell of rain hits her nose first, the cool breeze forcing her to pull her hoodie closer. She looks over her shoulder to the light beneath the door, watching as it disappears.
Is she being stupid?
After the way Jake has been treating her, belittling her, is she making the right choice to confront him once again? She is nervous as hell. Her phone buzzes in her back pocket. Choosing to ignore it for now, she allows a few more moments to pass before climbing over her desk and through the window.
Dropping with a slight SMACK, her boots digging into a puddle of wet dirt, drops of rain starting to invade her, forgetting her hood. Taking one last look up at her bedroom window, she takes off.
She feels so alone, so afraid. Thoughts of giving u-Wasting a way to be nothing more than a memory flows through her mind. The man who made her feel more than worthless, who started to bring some meaning into her life. What happened to him?
The cold rain drops hitting her skin almost so hard they bounce right off her. Rain and salt mingled across her face, drenching her hair against her skin. Only the light tint of her eyes and pure determination in her gaze give any indication that something is wrong. The world would never know the tears mixing with those raindrops; the world would never know the meaning behind her bloodshot eyes and how much crying she has done tonight. In a world such as this, who would ever notice?
Numb. That is how she feels.
The strength to just stop, stop caring, stop trying. . .It’s there, now more than ever. It’s within reach and goddamn was she about to take it. Sam could no longer hear her feet pounding against the asphalt only the constant drops of falling rain and the occasional car flying by. She was never turning back.
Home is not her destination.
A place hidden behind endless same colored houses, dents and broken pieces, a place they all say is from “the wrong side of town”, but a place that she feels drawn to, a place that Sam Echo calls home. Before she knows it, she is standing on a shattered wooden porch, stairs broken and a hazard. A small black door waiting patiently before her, she pulls her phone out, overloaded with messages from Ari.
Sam, Are you Okay? Why are you ignoring me, woman?
-Ari
Girl, where the fuck are you?
You are scaring me! - Ari
Shaking her head, she slowly sends a response with her frozen fingers.
Outside his door - Sam
Minutes later her phone buzzes.
Fuck, be careful! . . . And Sam? Get the man! -Ari
She can’t help but laugh - of all the times, her friend would be thinking and encouraging that, taking a deep steady breath. She lifts her fist, preparing herself. Inches before her fist contacts the door, the door flies open and suddenly she is face to face with Jake Steele.
“What are you doing here?” his husky voice making her heart race.
She starts, “I... Um . . .”
Her eyes betraying her as they ran over him, taking in his every square inch from his bare feet to his black sweats sitting nestled just below his hips, clearly showing off his perfect V line and all the way up to his bare chest with all its glory.
She forces her eyes away. Noticing that he too was eyeing her, wet and numb. . . She could only imagine the mess she must look like to him right now. She didn’t think this through enough.
Clearing her throat, she says, “We need to talk.”
Good Job Sam
Eye lifted, he leans against the door frame crossing his arms, “There is nothing to discuss at 5:00 in the morning, Sam.”
“Bullshit.”
He looked amused, gesturing his hand, “Then so be it, go ahead and waste more of my night.”
Keep your cool. . .
Trying her damnedest to not shiver, to not show she is terrified, at that moment, she portrays all her anger, hurt, resentment, and betray out on him.
She says, her voice rising, “Listen Jake, I am sorry if what I said scared you, I get it, you are the bad boy and you have some stupid reputation to uphold. All the more power to you! But I will be damned if I sit here and let you pretend that this.”
Gesturing between herself and him, “Means nothing to your sorry ungrateful ass. So, you can delete me from your life - that is nothing new to me, but for the love of god stop pretending that you are not capable of feelings!”
He stands there speechless, almost startled.
“Stop making me feel like a fuck up for thinking that you are more than just the rumors,” she continues.
Turning on her heel, she proceeds back into the rain before being pushing into the side of the house with Jakes lips devouring hers, his hands holding hers in place above her. She freezes, not reacting - his lips continue to brush over hers, she lets loose; kissing him back passionately. She wraps her legs around his hips, while he holds her in place - both getting drenched by the storm, but at this moment she could care less. She is holding onto this, she isn’t ready for it to end.
They continue their rendezvous until finally Jake pulls away, taking a step back, his breath heavy. He gazes at her with so much intensity that she is surprised that he found the willpower to stop. His hair was a big wet mess and boy did he look sexy. If it wasn’t for Sam still being pissed off at him, she’d probably have already ate him up.
Jake questioned himself, who is this woman? He isn’t scared; nothing scares him, not even the idea of love...right? Somehow, she knows him, she gets the parts of him that no one else
ever has and to him that is something he is not familiar with - she makes him question his very existence. He wants to breathe her in, feel her warmth for all existence; she is the very core of him… She is his home.
“What is it about you?” he whispers, more to himself. “What is so wrong with your life?”
She stares him straight in the eyes, blinking back the tears, she continues keeping her cool.
“You,” she replies, truthfully.
For the first time in months, he felt something other than anger and resentment, he felt guilt. . . Hearing her confess that he was her problem that he was like her father, betraying her and shattering her.
Somehow, that made something in him shatter.
Chapter Fourteen
Time felt like oblivion when she is with him, hours later, they stood in Jakes house surrounded by its small furniture and ripped sofas, he showed no sign that it bothered him having her here, seeing his place like this - at least he made no mention of it.
Deep down, he is so close to breaking, having Sam in his house, having her speak to him fearfully and truthfully; he felt vulnerable.
Here she stands, in the one place she just hours before would have never imagined herself being, she has to admit it is pretty weird being here considering she has never been here since she has known him. She felt like a whole brick has been lifted off her shoulders, having got that off her chest.
Jake comes out from the bathroom. Holding a folded towel and what appears to be a button up shirt and pair of his boxers, she blushes at the idea of wearing them.
“Here are these, go ahead and take a shower - there is warm water, you can toss your clothes out before you get in, I’ll throw them in the dryer for you,” he states, handing her the pile before going into the living room, switching the TV on and flopping on the sofa.
Clearing her throat, she walks to the bathroom. With the door closed behind her she takes in the small blue bathroom, the shower was enclosed in a small boxed size space, next to it nestled the sink with the chipped toilet beside it. She slowly tears off her clothing, hesitating before unclasping her bra and removing her panties, gathering them into a ball, she peeks outside the door - hearing the TV blaring from the other room, she thinks she is clear, tossing the clothes out she slips back behind the door.
She spends the next twenty minutes soaking her body in warm water, letting it wash over her, cleansing her body from the salt and rain that covered her body. Her mind would not sway from that kiss they shared, the way she wanted him and how he can’t deny wanting her. Lost in her own creative thought, she can’t believe she is actually standing, naked in his shower. She is so crazy about him . . . suddenly she is enveloped in blackness.
Shit, she thinks - reaching blindly to turn the shower head off. She hears Jake outside the door.
“Power is out, I am going to light some candles. . .”
He pauses, “Don’t fall on your ass.”
Her hand latches onto the round knob, turning it downward the water lessens, pushing open the shower door she carefully steps out, feeling around for the towel. Wrapping it around her, she quickly dries herself off before throwing on the boxers and button up shirt. Opening the door to large amounts of candles lay across the house, lit with their beautiful blue and yellow flames.
Jake is standing in the kitchen on the other side of the counter, chugging a glass of orange juice, he lifts his eyes meeting hers. Her breath catches as his eyes trail over her, taking in the sight of her in his clothing. He liked the view. Feeling daring, Sam decides to take it up a notch, her nerves on end.
Like what you see?” she says, flirtatiously.
He admired her boldness, it looked good on her. He wants to make her feel something other than the fear and pain - but somewhere inside him, that has been all too familiar to him and he has yet to find a way to express that otherwise.
Watching her before him, he wants nothing more than to kiss her and take away all the pain that she has ever felt. Screw it, they both thought almost in echo through each other a
Jake met her halfway and the kiss they shared was so pure, it was unlike one either of them have experienced before. There is no fear, no sorrow; there is just love and passion. They consumed each other, made each other glad that they are alive.
This time neither of them pulled away, the kiss continued to grow into something more - something magnified. The passion never swayed, but the kisses grew deeper, more urgent, their bodies melting together as they stood in the middle of the room, losing themselves to each other forgetting the wrong.
Swiftly picking her up into his arms, he stalks over to the bed gently laying her down he falls over her, his hair falling slightly into his face; he looks devilish, dangerous and even sexier than before. His tongue dances with hers in a smooth slow melody. He wants this more than he could possibly say, but Sam… Shit Sam, he thinks. Last time this happened, he almost shattered her.
Breathless, he pulls away, “Sam, we mustn’t”
Her face turns blank, emotionless - except for her eyes, her eyes held pure lust and want. Jake knew she had no intention of stopping, but he had to give her a way out before she made a mistake she'd regret her whole life, watching her as they breathe in rhythm, calming them.
“Jake. . .” she says softly.
Her voice falls over him, wrapping around him, he waits hoping she won’t speak the words that he doesn’t want to hear. After the last few months he has been a total dick and he doesn’t have a true reason as to why, maybe when she confronted him with how she feels, he did run. Right here, right now - Jake wanted nothing more than to stay in the confinement of her arms, to hold her closer-right now running was not on his mind at all.
The walls that they have been building to shield each other out have shattered, falling to their feet as the intensity of their desire and need for each other takes over - Sam could never get as close to him as she wants to, this will just have to be enough for now. Without another word mumbled from her sweet lips, her hands find their way around his neck, pulling him closer as their hunger was no longer able to be denied as they stripped each other of the remaining clothing.
Jake takes his time with unbuttoning his shirt, slowly removing it off her gorgeous shoulders and tossing it behind his head, as they lay there left in just his boxers, he can’t help but run his eyes over her plump breasts, she was so beautiful, and he didn’t know how to describe it without saying the wrong thing.
He wanted to take things slow, wanted their first time to be special; unforgettable. He may have been an ass, but one thing Jake is, is a gentleman.
He knows what it feels like to have something taken away from you with no control over it, and while it took all his willpower to hold on to the remaining self-control that he has right now; he wanted nothing more than to make sure that she feels cherished, needed - that this is something that she truly wants before he dare let himself break the very part left of her that she has control over.
She is scared. She is terrified that after this it will go back to him avoiding her -she is afraid of letting herself feel something other than pain, can she? She thinks to herself, Can I be what he wants?
Sam is stunning, her beauty is that of a million stars and Jake is breathless just looking at her. She was truly something else - it is different with her; somehow, he feels at ease when he is within her presence. Distracted by how gentle her hands are as they run over his back as they kiss, exploring his bare chest and making him shiver.
He became more aroused. His eyes turn dark with need as he finally allows himself to show her how much she truly means to him.
Enjoyed the pleasure she was giving him simply by running her hands over his bare skin, caressing and worshiping; but Jake needed more, he wanted to feel her, taste her, make her his and cherish every square inch of her beautiful body.
Removing his mouth from hers he allows his lips to trace lines down her jaw and onto her bare neck, biting lightly as she lets out a small gasp. Hands
slow, cautiously running over her skin up her bare stomach until Jake are fully cupping her breast, caressing and pinching lightly as he runs his mouth down her stomach, kissing every square inch.
Sammy, mumbling her name softly . . . He could lose himself in her. She felt alive, desired. She wasn’t afraid anymore, she needs this - groaning in frustration she tugs at his hair until his lips are back on hers, and she starts to tug at his boxers, wanting to feel his warm skin entirely against hers.
He smirks, lifting slightly to assist in her struggle. There before her he laid, bare naked. Her eyes couldn’t hide her want, her body flushed. Jake holds back a groan just from the look on her face, before she pulls him back down over her, wrapping her legs over his waist.
“Sammy,” he groans, breathing heavily, “I want your first time to be special. . .”
“This is special” She exclaims.
Did she not realize what he meant? He wasn’t going to take her like some horny teenage boy on the verge of getting what he wanted most - she means much more to him than that. Your first time should be something special, something intimate and memorable. She is going to remember this night for the rest of her life and Jake did not want it to be a bad one.
His lips brush against hers with every single word he utters, “I don't want to rush this. I don’t want to ‘fuck you’. Sam, I want to make love to you, I want to take my time and worship your body. I want to plant kisses over every square inch of you until you learn to love yourself too. . . I plan to make you mine and only mine.”
Jake pulls back slightly looking into her eyes, eyes full of emotion.
“Do you want that?” he says his voice husky. Before Sam could speak, he trails his hand up her and over her thigh letting his hand glide onto her very core, the one place she is aching for him, gently slipping a finger inside her, making her hips jolt forward to match his pace as she screams out in pleasure. Before tonight Sam would have never pictured herself here, lying with the man she has fallen for and losing herself in him. She doesn’t want it to end, this, them.
Shattered Echo (The Shattered Echo Series Book 1) Page 9