“Y…. yes Jake,” she moans, her voice thick with need.
He kisses her, unlike before, this kiss is slow, welcoming. Passion and love replaced the lust and want. They completed each other, not that either one of them knew - their relationship is one of love and hate, their feelings disguised and lost among themselves. He nibbles at her lip as his hand still works at her core, his need for her unbearable; it took everything in him to keep this slow pace, to not rush this.
If this is what it feels like to be with her, to feel excited, overwhelmed, whole and uncontrollably happy - he didn’t want to lose it. He wants to feel like this for his entire life. He never saw it before, he never confronted it and for that he may very well lose her at one time or another - but not without a fight, no Jake Steele would never give up on this woman.
Looking in her eyes at this moment, filled with nothing but love, passion, happiness - he knew, right here and right now - he wanted to spend his entire life with this woman at his side.
As if in sync, their movements become more urgent - Her fingers digging into his back as his hands worship hers, their lips moving in rhythm together, he nudges her thighs further apart, having already ripped his boxers from her beautiful body. He places himself between them, holding himself up, he looks at her- question in his eyes.
As if on cue, she nods, pulling him closer.
Slowly as though he is afraid he will break her, he lets himself slide into her with ease, his heart racing with excitement and need. There is no way he is going to rush this; he wants to cherish every second of it. She wants him to hold onto this, to realize that she means it when she tells him that he is her very reason for living, her home.
At that time, they became one. He couldn’t run from her ever again even if he tried.
Together they moved as one, letting their passion and feelings for each other intertwine, attaching them together; making everything around them disappear until the only thing that mattered is each other. All that was left was his soft skin against hers, his gentle kiss and welcoming arms. This is it, this is their moment to fall into each other’s arms and let loose, forget the world, forget the pain, forget the undeniable future and focus on the present, on each other.
Her hips moved beneath him, meeting his, a perfect melody, his hands taking over her entire body. She couldn’t get enough of him, she wants to be closer, his body against hers. They’re both breathing heavily, trying to catch their breath between kisses. She needed more.
Moaning, she pulls him tighter against her, running her mouth over his neck, marking what is hers. They roll and for a mere moment she is on top, placing her hands on his chest she rocks her body, controlling their speed.
It is nothing she has ever experienced before, and she couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. Throwing her head back, she lets loose, she could feel herself near closer to her and she quickens the pace. Without warning, he flips them once again on top, holding her hands above her head; out of reach he pushes into her, taking her and claiming her. This is the moment that they would never forget.
His scent intoxicating, his lips against hers, his body surrounding her own, his icy eyes - hers, they will always be hers. He can run from her, he could hate her and hurt her, but the one thing that Sam Echo realizes is that this man could never push her away, never make her stop loving him, never will she give up on what this is or what it could be.
He makes her feel alive and right now. She needs him, and he may not admit it, but he needs her too. He locks eyes with her, pure pleasure rushes over them both and at the very same time, they let themselves go; giving into each other as they both fall over the edge.
“Jake…” she breaths, “I love you. . .”
With her words, he freezes - eyes suddenly turn cold, emotionless. Rolling off her, he leaves the warmth of her embrace, throwing on his jeans and walks out without a single uttered word. She is left there, naked and alone. Laying there, dumbfounded and confused she swallows her pride pulling herself up, gathering her clothing, she covers herself.
How could he, after what they just shared.
She is foolish, naive to believe that there was any hope left in him - which he could actually give a damn about one’s feelings and not take them for granted. This shouldn’t have happened. He got what he wanted and then took off like a foolish high school teenage boy.
Make love to her? Worship her? Who else has he told that too, she is so stupid? Curling on his bed, she rolls over hugging herself. Letting a tear slip from her eye, she lets herself drift to sleep with every ounce of hurt and betrayal she feels bottled up inside her.
Chapter Fifteen
It is as though she is reliving the night before; she could remember his touch - his hands on her body. The way his lips would brush over her scars in complete acceptance and how his eyes - the icy blue, full of desire and passion for her. She didn't want it to end, the feeling of belonging.
It was her home. The smell wrinkled her nose, its sweet watery flavor digging into her senses.
Her eyes flutter open, still blurry from her deep slumber. Piecing together the night she takes in her surroundings, realizing that she is still nestled in Jakes bed, in his shirt and boxers that she had awoke in the night to toss back on.
Shit, she curses at herself - she must have fallen asleep. Her father is going to kill her, literally. It felt safe, secure here. Sam is so used to waking up with the constant fear of what is coming next and here she is lying on a soft queen size bed, her head consumed by his pillows.
The candles have been blown out and somehow a blanket had managed to find its way on her and for once, she felt at ease. The sound of kitchenware moving around drifted in from the kitchen. She could smell the sweet bacon from in here and her stomach rumbled. Oh, how she would love to devour a plate right about now.
Sighing, she flips her legs over the bedside. It was time to head back home and faces the consequences. She is stupid for letting herself fall asleep, she knows better to be home before the wake of dawn - she loses herself when she is with Jake and it's like everything else becomes invisible and unimportant.
She let herself open up and where did that get her, hurt, exposed and once again alone. Fear creeps up on her, tearing at her. Pulling herself from the bed she goes to the door, slowly and quietly pulling it open. Get her clothes and get out that is the plan - no distractions.
Just as the door is pulled ajar, Sam takes a light step forward causing the floor to squeak beneath her weight, cursing she looks up meeting Jakes eyes from across the room, she could already see his amusement and hear his smart-ass comment seeing her trying to sneak out. Standing behind the kitchen counter he stood before the stove, smoke coming from the pan full of. . . bacon. Again, her stomach argues with her. He watches her, face blank.
“The floor doesn't give much lead way to sneak out,” he says simply.
“I wasn't sneaking out,” she breathes.
He lifts his eyebrow, placing the bacon on the plate beside him, turning the stove off. He grabs two plates, loading them with bacon, eggs and toast, placing one on the other side of the bar, gesturing for her to sit as his eyes run over her. She suddenly becomes aware that she is still in just his boxers and shirt, blushing.
“I actually got to get going.”
He replies, “And why is that?”
“I am going to be in enough trouble as is.”
He takes a bite of his bacon, leaning back against the counter he looks her over, “You didn't seem so worried about that last night.”
Ouch...
Sighing she takes a seat, swallowing the ball in her throat ignoring his eyes she takes a bite letting the sweet greasy bacon calm her howling stomach. She couldn’t get the images from the night before to stop playing on repeat through her head.
How could he just up and take off like that?
Is she that dispensable that he could just use her than toss her out like trash.
How could she again fall into his
dangerous games, with him she is nothing but exposed - heart, body, and soul. She is foolish to ever think he was worth loving, questions, all corrupting her mind- swallowing her thoughts whole. If only she knew if she wanted love she would have to live with this pain, the need that is always there, that latching onto it could be the worst or the best thing in her life.
If only she had known that she would have to change everything she has ever believed in, everything she ever is and was, give away the very part of her that she could never get back.
Maybe then, love wouldn’t be this hard.
“Are you okay?” he asks, eyeing her.
“Yeah, I'm fine,” comes the response.
“Seems like there is more behind that ‘I’m fine’, what's on your mind?”
“Well, it's nothing so butt out.” Although the way her words blur together in a way that makes it obvious that there is more wrong than she is admitting, Jake finds it hard to push it on her.
How is she supposed to tell him that she is shattered, broken because the one person she had let in completely walked all over her - took her vulnerability and stomped all over it.
Yet, here she is looking at him in his gorgeous glory, eating his freshly cooked bacon and looking hot while doing it. She can't help feeling like he is the one.
Stupid doesn’t even come close to what she did, coming here - letting him waltz right back into her heart and for what? So, she can be torn apart all over again, be told how not good enough she is? She gave him the only part of her that she had left, the only part that she could control and now, now she is regretting it, afraid and so many questions running through her head at mega speed and even she can’t answer them let alone keep up with them.
As though he could read her mind, seeing straight through her sky-high wall - something shifted in his posture, he becomes more relaxed, more careful as he makes his way around the counter to stand face to face with her.
“Sam…” he starts, quietly - so quiet he could have been talking to himself.
She could see his words in his eyes, she didn’t need him to say them. She wishes he would, that he would admit that he feels for her just as she does for him - that he wouldn’t run from the very sight of it and embrace it with her. She wanted more than anything for him to be the Jake she learned to love again, to love her back endlessly and halfheartedly, is that so much to ask for?
Gazing into each other’s eyes, it is as though they are both frozen in time - lost in each other. Everything around them ceased to exist, all there is and ever would be is them - together. At that moment, Sam never saw so much emotion in his eyes than she did now - it is like a peak into what could be, what should be if they would just let go - live a little and ignore the fear tearing at each other from the inside.
Allow the other one to be there to catch them when they fall.
They are so close, you can almost taste it. The love and passion is there, all they need to do is reach out for it.
Instantly, as if he made up a sudden decision to reach for something he desires, his lips are on hers. Unlike last time, this kiss is gentle, welcoming - there is so much love combined in it, they are swimming in it.
He pulls her against him, wrapping her in his strong arms - protecting her. He put all of his emotions into that kiss, taking it for what it is worth.
This is it; this is what love feels like.
Lifting her into his strong arms, he places her on the kitchen table, sending the plates to the floor with a loud BANG - her legs wrapping around his waist, her hands intertwined in his hair as he is holding her tightly. They could remain like this forever but doubting that they will-the connection between them is so intense that the whole entire universe would be blind if they did not see it. Forcing herself to push him back, breaking their connection - she leaves her hand on his chest, keeping his welcoming soft lips at a safe distance, both breathless, lips swollen.
“Don’t do this,” she says between her teeth, fighting every urge to give back in.
“Why, you know you want me?” His smart-ass remark making her anger boil up.
“That! That is why. One minute you are cold and the next hot,” Blushing at the word hot, “You are in it one day and the next you are running - I am not playing these games Jake, I can’t be in this if you’re not in it to. . . I . . . I just can’t.”
Pushing off the table she brushes past him, she makes her way to the front door ignoring she is still not dressed properly, turning back long enough to say one more thing.
“When you decide you are in this for you and not for me, you know where to find me.”
With that, the door closes swiftly behind her. Leaving him standing in the middle of the kitchen, staring at an empty kitchen chair, shattered plates and smears of breakfast lining his floor and the smell of bacon invading his nostrils and yet, he wants her back right here with him.
Maybe there is hope after all.
Chapter Sixteen
W-WI, WA! WAKE- WAKE - WAKE UP SAMMY!
She rolls over to the sound of the most annoying alarm ever. Normally she would have at least another hour before she needed to start tossing and turning, but undoubtedly her father had returned home after spending most of the night at the bar and she is most certain that he has long since discovered her brief overnight escape. She wishes she could crawl in a hole and die already - not excited to face what today has in store for her.
Adjusting her eyes, becoming more lucid, the once annoying alarm sound turns to a steady TI-TI! TICK! TI-TI! TICK! Going about her normal morning routine, she makes her way downstairs; careful to skip the steps that make a squeaking sound whenever you press any weight onto them.
Every morning she makes him the same thing, you would think that eventually he would grow tired of it...well he doesn't. Sausage links, fresh baked biscuits and two well done eggs. If you forget his side of syrup and his lucky beer can - you would never hear the end of it.
Turning into the kitchen, Sam spots her mother already behind the burning stove. It’s not every day she gets to see her mom - in fact she hardly ever does. Let alone have her doing her job for her.
“Mom, you don’t have to do that,” she whispers. Cracking open another egg into the small round pan,
She shoots a small smile over her shoulder.
“Oh honey, it’s about time that you have had a break from catering to that drunken man.”
Nodding, Sam helps taking the biscuits out of the oven then fetching the jam and butter from the fridge. Checking to make sure they were not over cooked - she places them on the black square plate nestled on the brown wooden table in the middle of the room.
The sound of the upstairs bedroom door opening freezes them both in place as they hold their breath, hoping he is just taking a piss and will leave them alone a moment longer. Squeak! The sound of the stairs under his weight, Sam rushes to the fridge to get his beer as her mom rushes with the eggs on the stove. Fighting to get it finished in time.
They can hear him make his way through the living room as their panic rises. Throwing the eggs on the plate, her mother turns the stove off forcefully, placing herself at the other end of the table as Sam places the beer next to his plate - then going over to the counter to pretend that she was the one who made the food.
Fuck...
He walked into the kitchen, his hair a mess from sleep; he looked like such a mess when hung over.
“Looks like you managed to do something right,” he states, practically ignoring their presence as he places himself at his chair.
Keeping her mouth shut, better to no speak unless being spoken to. Catching her mother’s eyes, the worry lining them. So far so good, it doesn't look like he knows. Let’s hope it stays that way.
After breakfast, he strides out of the room in his recliner chair, flipping on his game. Her mother and her remained in the kitchen, quietly catching up on a lot of things, specifically where she was the night before - careful to keep their voices low.
It is
easy talking to her mom, there is no fear of judgment or the risk of getting slapped upside her head. With her mom, she has nothing but understanding - love. Just a few more months, that’s it - then Sam will be of age and she can take her mother and get the hell out of this place and never look back. That’s what she wants, it’s what she needs.
Because truth is, she is afraid - she is afraid that if they do not get out of this soon, they never will.
“Sam, come, here won't you?” her father asks. Looking at her mom, she nods. “Go on honey.” Slowly making her way into the living room to stand beside her father's chair, she feels an overwhelming sense of fear.
He speaks, again. “I got home last night, and I did not see you home, where were you?”
Shit… busted.
She speaks, “Um, I just went on a small walk, nowhere too far.”
“A small walk?” he asks, his voice carrying a warning.
Swallowing the ball in her throat, or at least attempting to she nods. This is it, he knows.
He stands, looming over her. “Because I could have sworn that you were nowhere to be seen at the late hours this morning and I have a pretty good Idea of where you were.”
Should she confess? Either way she is going to get the raw end of it- she is foolish to have fallen asleep, she is weak when she is around Jake - that is the issue, he has her entire heart and because of that she lets her guard down - risking her hell at home and most of all, allowing him to enter her like a raging sea and having complete control over whether her heart gets shattered or not.
She feels a sting erupt against her cheek where her father’s hand was moments before; causing her eyes to spring a fresh puddle of tears.
Shattered Echo (The Shattered Echo Series Book 1) Page 10