by Clare Lydon
I shifted my position to stop my arm going dead. “Do I look gorgeous?”
Holly smiled. “You look constipated.”
I let out a loud laugh. “You see, this is the downside of getting together with someone you know — you would never normally say that to a girl on your second date.”
Holly grinned her lopsided smile. “Is this our second date? I just thought we’d muddled through a few days not leaving our beds. I wasn’t aware we’d ever actually had a date.”
I rolled on to my back and thought about that. “You know what, you’re absolutely right. We haven’t had a date.”
“We’d have to leave the flat and everything,” Holly said.
I waved a finger in the air. “Definite downside.” I leaned forward and kissed her, and the spark rolled down my body, down to my toes, then back up to my clit.
I really didn’t want to get up. But it wasn’t as if we couldn’t come back to this very spot later, now was it?
I pushed myself up on my elbows, then hopped out of bed. I stepped into my pants and jeans, and when I turned around, Holly’s expression spelled alarm.
“What?” I asked. I walked over and threw back the covers. “Come on, chop-chop. We’re going out on a date. Our very first date, in fact.” I bent over, picked up her jeans and threw them at her. “Get dressed, wench, we’re hitting the town.”
In response, Holly simply pulled up the duvet cover over her head and groaned.
I pulled it back down. “I’m going to splash my face and wash my hands. I suggest you do the same. Especially your hands because I know exactly where they’ve been.”
I knew that would draw a massive grin.
I was right.
We made it out of the flat 20 minutes later and were sat in Baker’s Bar by 9.15pm, burgers ordered, craft beer in front of us.
“I ordered you a Christmas beer — Rudolph’s Ruby Ale.”
I took a sip. It was bitter, but I smiled anyway. Maybe I would get used to the taste eventually. Or maybe I could tell Holly I’d stick to red wine in about a week, when I was sure things had settled down. Not that I thought she was going anywhere, but there was still beginning-of-relationship protocol to follow.
“What did you get?” I asked.
“Cranberry Porter — want to try?” She held out her beer to me, but I shook my head. The colour alone was enough to put me off, resembling what I imagined Rudolph’s blood might look like on a particularly cold day.
Holly took a sip and leaned back, grinning at me.
“What?” I wrinkled my nose.
“Us. This.” Holly stretched out her long legs so her feet were lounging beside my chair. “I’m still getting used to it. In a good way.”
A waft of barbecued meat drifted into the bar and my stomach rumbled. “Let’s hope they don’t burn the kitchen down and Nicola has to rescue us. That’d be just my luck.”
Holly laughed. “I think that’s the smell of burgers cooking, not being burnt.”
I took a sip of my beer and flexed my jaw. “Talking of Nicola,” I said.
Holly raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t think we were.”
I leaned over and planted a kiss on her lips.
“Well, nearly Nicola. I was out shopping yesterday and I ran into Melanie. In Selfridges’ Christmas department.”
Holly covered her mouth as she sat up straight. “Your sacred place,” she said.
I nodded. “Anyway, turns out, this isn’t going to be such a happy Christmas for Nicola.”
Holly looked nonplussed. “She lost you, so I’d say that was obvious.”
I drew in a sharp breath. This ‘girlfriend’ side of Holly was all new to me, and it was still taking me by surprise. A nice surprise, but still — I wasn’t used to her waxing lyrical about me.
“You’re pretty sweet, you know that?”
She dipped her eyes and gave me a bashful smile.
“Anyway, Melanie’s dumped Nicola — the wedding’s off.”
Holly’s mouth dropped open. “Really?” she said. “Well I never. Even Melanie has standards that Nicola didn’t reach. That is damning in the extreme.”
I didn’t say anything, just fiddled with my napkin. I thought Holly was being a little harsh, but said nothing. Old habits died hard where Nicola Sheen was concerned.
“But let’s consign Nicola to the backburner, shall we?” Holly said.
“Backburner? Really?”
Holly laughed. “That was not intentional.” She paused. “But you know what I mean. No more talk of Nicola or Melanie. Let’s just concentrate on us, because we’re far more interesting. Me and you, Christmas, our party, my birthday — it’s going to be amazing.”
“I hope so. How many have we got coming to the party?”
“I think about 20 last count, which is perfect.”
“Agreed. And we’re doing those mince pie martinis?”
“We are.”
“Great. And the Dixie Chicks tomorrow too.”
Holly licked her lips and nodded. “It’s going to be the perfect Christmas. Well, the lead-up is, anyway.”
“It is,” I said. “You know the only thing that would make it more perfect?”
Holly thought for a moment. “A kitten?”
I laughed. “That goes without saying — everything’s made better by a kitten. I was wondering if you’d thought about spending Christmas at mine? I wanted you to come before all of this, and now it just seems weird we might be apart.”
Holly winced before she spoke, which was never a great sign. “I know.” She held up her hand to stop me butting in. It worked. “And I have been thinking about it, even before anything happened between us.” She trailed her finger up and down her glass. “I’m still thinking about whether I can take the fallout from my parents, or if they’d even notice I’m not there.” She shrugged. “Leave it with me, okay?”
I knew being in the middle of her parents’ constant tug of war was no fun for Holly and I felt for her. But I also wanted her to make herself happy too, rather than putting up with the same situation every year.
“It’s less than a week away,” I said.
She fixed me with a stare.
I held up my hands and smiled. “I’ll leave it with you.”
Friday December 23rd
Last night, Holly and I had gone to see the Dixie Chicks and it had been just about perfect. I’d bagged fabulous seats and Holly was in her element, the only thing missing being a Stetson and cowboy boots. Being under 30, we were the youngest people there by some distance, but the lesbian contingent as ever was front and centre, which made it all the more special. We’d left the concert tired and elated, then come home to bed with each other. We were still getting to know each other, still getting attuned to each other’s bodies, and that was cool. We had all the time in the world.
This morning, Holly had left early — she had a client breakfast. I’d been aghast at the concept, especially on December 23rd, but Holly said this was a corporate client taking her out to say thanks for all of her help throughout the year so she couldn’t say no. But honestly, getting people out of bed when they were in the first throes of a relationship? It was just plain rude.
I, on the other hand, was in the opposite camp. I was working from home today, the final day of work before the Christmas break and I had a party to prep for. It was all hands on deck — so long as those hands were mine.
But sitting here now, with my first coffee of the morning, there was an odd feeling swelling within me. I watched the trains rattling by, revelling in the order they brought to the day and tried to pinpoint it. And then it struck me. I was content, happy. And after such a drama-packed December, that was a gorgeous revelation.
It was December 23rd. On November 25th, on that hilltop with Holly, I’d laid out my plan to get a girlfriend before Christmas. I’d been gung-ho, up for the fight, ready to go into battle. And battle I had — through bizarre sex, through insurance scams, through first loves magically appearin
g. But I’d made it through to the other side, and I’d found a girlfriend I never imagined. At least, I hoped she was my girlfriend. We hadn’t discussed the G word yet.
As if sensing I was thinking about her, my phone beeped on the sofa beside me and I picked it up. It was Holly.
‘Morning. Just thought I’d let you know I’d rather still be in bed with you even though this breakfast is delicious. But you’re more tasty. X’ She’d attached an image of her eggs benedict, replete with coffee, orange juice and champagne.
I smiled goofily at the phone, then rolled my eyes at myself.
Holly. It was Holly all along. All these years, all this time. But would it have worked sooner? I’m not sure. Maybe it took me till this point to see that what I’d been searching for was right in front of me from the very start. Tall, gorgeous, reliable Holly, with legs as long as the M1. Never again would it be a problem painting a ceiling.
I took another slug of my coffee, then grabbed a pen and paper from the kitchen counter. There was a lot to do today, a party to prep for. And it had to be fabulous with Holly as the star guest.
Plus, we were debuting our relationship tonight to our friends. I was a little nervous about how it would all go down.
“I can’t believe you two have finally got together — you took your time!”
I was standing in front of Holly’s friend Daisy, who I’d met last year at the Christmas bash. Her girlfriend Jasmine was with her, and they’d brought a spectacular bunch of birthday flowers that I was currently holding — Holly had dashed off to find a suitable vase.
“Didn’t want to rush into anything,” I replied. Had everyone known we should be together and not told us?
“Daisy and I had a bet it would happen when she met you last year at the Christmas party, didn’t we?”
Daisy nodded. “I thought you were a couple already till Jas put me right.”
“Did you?” This was a new one.
“Uh-huh. Just something about the way you were so comfortable around each other, anticipating the other’s needs, the looks Holly gave you.” She shrugged. “I just assumed, but Jas corrected me. But I knew I was right!”
I smiled at her. “Well done, I think?” I looked around the room. “I’ve no idea where Holly is right now though.”
Looking over my shoulder, Jasmine raised an eyebrow and gave a slight splutter. “I think I do.”
I turned my head and now I saw Holly. Doing her best impression of a modern Santa, wearing bright red velvet trousers, a white shirt, red velvet jacket and a bow tie hanging loosely around her neck. Her green eyes sparkled in the party atmosphere, and her hair was shaped to one side. She was also carrying a tall vase for the flowers.
On sight, every nerve ending in my body jangled. This woman was my girlfriend. The universe could be very kind sometimes.
Gaining wolf whistles as she walked through the lounge and deposited the vase on the counter, Holly took the flowers from me, filled the vase and arranged them. Then she stood back to admire her handy work.
“Pretty good?” she asked.
“You’re a natural,” I told her.
She put the flowers on the window sill, then came back to my side, snaking an arm around my waist.
“I’m here to stay this time,” Holly said. “I haven’t seen you in ages,” she told Jasmine, touching her arm.
“Far too long,” Jasmine said. “And now look at you — you’ve got a brand new girlfriend and you’ve raided Austin Powers’ wardrobe.”
Holly let out a bark of indignation. “Austin Powers? I think I look a little cooler than that.” She gave us a twirl before looking at me. “I was going for something Christmassy, I’m not sure what. Maybe one of Santa’s taller, sexier, slightly butch helpers?”
I put my arm around Holly’s waist this time. “You look hot, whatever you are.”
“How are things with you guys?” Holly asked.
Jasmine and Daisy radiated matching grins.
“Perfect,” Jasmine said. “We’re hosting Boxing Day for mine and Daisy’s families, so that’ll be interesting. Fifteen adults and four kids in our flat — did we think this through?”
Daisy elbowed her girlfriend. “It’s going to be fine and if it’s not, we’ll just get them drunk.”
“Sounds like a perfect plan,” Holly said. “Talking of which, can I top up your drinks?”
We all agreed and Holly turned towards the kitchen.
The evening went off with a festive bang, the mince pie martinis going down a storm. Once they’d run out, we moved on to wine, beer and Prosecco, cranking up the Christmas tunes to get everyone in the party mood. Our friends didn’t need much persuasion. Plus, with our newly purchased patio heater roaring into action, our balcony was suddenly a destination, with train passengers waving at us as they passed. Christmas fever is infectious, my dad taught me that.
Around midnight, we toasted in Christmas Eve and Holly put on Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ — she knew it was my all-time favourite Christmas tune. We danced around our lounge pointing and singing at each other with the rest of our friends, but my eyes were only ever on Holly. This Christmas, she was all I wanted and all my dreams had come true. Turns out, Mariah was prophetic.
The last guest cleared out around 3am, and we took a couple of glasses of Prosecco out on to the balcony to stare at the stars. Well, that was the plan, but the light pollution in London spoilt the intention. We could see a few sparkling lights in the inky canvas overhead, but whether they were planes, drones or stars, we weren’t sure.
A few moments later, Holly clicked her fingers together. “I almost forgot.” She dipped into the pocket of her red jacket and produced a sprig of mistletoe.
I grinned at her. “You old smoothie.”
She winked, before holding it over our heads and kissing me softly.
I melted on the spot. Holly’s lips were so warm and inviting, I was happy to pull up a chair and stay all night. Eventually though, she pulled away.
“Happy Christmas Eve, beautiful,” she said. “And happy anniversary!” Holly held up her glass to cheers.
I clinked mine to hers. “It’s our anniversary?”
She nodded. “One week today.” She paused. “And what a week it’s been.” She shot me her lopsided smile. “Thanks for getting everything ready for today too, I really do appreciate it.”
“The least I could do for my new girlfriend,” I said. Then I held my breath. Shit. I hadn’t meant that to just slip out. I flicked my gaze up to Holly who was grinning.
“Girlfriend? You don’t mess around, do you?”
“It just came out — we don’t have to be yet if you’re not ready. I won’t be upset.” I wanted to lower my eyebrows, but they were stuck in an alarmed position on my face.
“You won’t?” Holly stepped forward and gathered me in her arms, looking down into my eyes.
I swallowed and shook my head. “Just an expression, I didn’t mean it seriously.”
The corners of Holly’s mouth tugged upwards. “Tori, I’ve been your girlfriend since we kissed on the kitchen floor. I’m not going anywhere. So just relax, okay?”
I nodded, still not trusting myself to speak again.
Holly put both our glasses on the floor, re-gathered me in her arms and kissed me with utter intent. I was floored, but also wrapped in her warmth — metaphorically and literally. When she kissed me, strange things happened. That much I knew.
Within seconds, she lifted me on to our small balcony table and hitched up my skirt. I took a sharp intake of breath. The mood had just turned up a notch and I smiled as I saw the lust pooling in Holly’s eyes.
“Not too cold?” Holly asked, never taking her mouth from mine.
I shook my head, feeling a rush between my legs in anticipation.
Holly’s body moved forwards and she spread my legs, moving her tongue inside my mouth.
I groaned.
She ran her hands up and down my sides while she d
eepened our kiss further, then her hand grazed my thighs.
She was going to fuck me on this table, in the open air. In that second, I didn’t think it was possible to love anybody more than I did right then, and that thought made me open my eyes.
Holly’s hand reached up and tugged off my pants, pushing up my bum so I could wriggle out of them. A fresh gust of air hit me as I sat back down and we retook our positions. Now Holly’s hand was hot over my pussy, her mouth in front of mine.
“Okay?” she asked, biting my lip and slipping a finger inside me. “I’ve been wanting to do this all night long.”
I went to reply but nothing came out. I was too lost in her, lost in the moment, overtaken by Holly.
She slipped in another finger and I groaned, pushing my hips forward, feeling freer now than I had in years. Sex had always been high on my agenda, but I hadn’t had sex with someone I felt so attuned to in quite a while.
What’s more, nobody had ever taken me on a balcony before, so Holly was winning hands-down.
I put my mouth beside Holly’s ear, my breath wispy. “If you’re going to fuck me, just do it,” I said.
She didn’t need a second invitation.
As her fingers began moving back and forth, my mouth dropped open but the December air that coated my throat felt warm and inviting. I threw my arms around Holly’s neck and opened my legs, welcoming her in, encouraging her to go further.
She shifted as close as she could get and slid her tongue into my mouth as she went deeper.
I clung on for the ride of my life as our bodies melded into one.
She ramped up her festive charm offensive, slipping and sliding all around me, over me, inside me — I loved being in her orbit. With every second that passed, we grew more urgent, Holly with laser-like focus, mine more hazy as the thunder in my body built. She hit my G-spot and I groaned into her mouth, before flinging my head backwards.
In return, I heard her grin.
I began seeing stars and wasn’t sure if they were fake or real. I was on the edge, staring at the universe, shouting out its name. Or it could well have been Holly’s name. I was wrapped around her, pressing into her. Holly was everything I asked for on my Christmas list and way more besides.