The No Sex Clause

by Glenys O'Connell

  “Ah, remember – Anna’s an orphan – her parents were killed in that train accident when she was in fourth grade – she lived in a foster home or two while she finished school.”

  “That’s right – Mr And Mrs Adams fostered her – jeez, I bet that pious old biddy is grinding her teeth over Anna’s success.”

  “And over the content of Anna’s book. Anna didn’t do any of her research while she lived with the Adams, that’s for sure!”

  “So, Mr, Walker – what about you – are you squiring Anna around for a long time, or are you new on her list of conquests?”

  Jed wanted to smash the man’s grinning face – to smash all the grinning faces in front of him. Because he’d been fooled. He’d let that gorgeous, vulnerable exterior fool him good. Anna was no shrinking violet – she was the author of a veritable sex manual. And she hadn’t kidnapped him accident – She must have plotted and planned for weeks. She wanted to use him as she’d no doubt used lots of other guys – as stepping stones to her own little hall of fame….

  ***

  Anna looked over to where Bob stood, surrounded by a crowd of mostly women who seemed to be hanging on his every word. Dammit, you’d think he was the celebrity, not me!

  Not that she wasn’t getting lots of attention. Most of the guys who wouldn’t have been seen dead talking to her ten years ago were now slathering over her – and yet she felt totally empty.

  In fact, she couldn’t keep her eyes from straying to the big old clock over the basketball hoop on the far wall. That’s when they weren’t straying to see what her popular escort was up to.

  He certainly seemed to be having lots of fun, anyway. She had to work hard at fending off the wondering palms of men who were no strangers to her, while the stranger she was paying – and paying well – for an evening of companionship was chatting up every other woman in the room.

  Make no mistake about it; Mrs Rogers at the Agency was going to hear all about this tomorrow. Be darned if she wasn’t thinking she’d ask for her money back – if her escort was attending to every other female BUT her, why should she pay the fee? Of course, he was dressed to the nines in a tuxedo, had rented a gorgeous luxury car, and he’d certainly made the effort to fit the bill. In fact, when she saw him first, she’d known he was exactly what she wanted.

  Oh, yes, she wanted him all right. Wow – look at those shoulders, that flat chest, the strong arms…and those eyes! Oh, yes, those eyes, the smooth-shaven cheeks with the strong jaw that she’d love to run her fingers over…He looked confident and competent and she’d be willing to bet he was dynamite in bed.

  Pity that wasn’t part of the program. Anna’s cheeks flushed as she remembered Mrs. Rogers’ repeating the stipulation that sex was not a part of the deal. Not even if people came to their own arrangements after-hours, she’d said sternly. “Any of our escorts found behaving in less than gentlemanly fashion would be out on his handsome ear. The No-Sex Clause.” Mrs. Rogers had called it in her prim, matronly voice.

  Anna had to hide the grin that slid onto her face as she remembered her own reaction to the clause - relief! Now, looking at her escort, it was more regret than relief she felt at having signed the No Sex Clause. Not that it looked as if she’d even get to first base with that hunk – he’d probably collect a bunch of telephone numbers to choose from by the time they retired for the night.

  Remembering that she was to pay for their hotel accommodation made Anna grit her teeth. The very idea that she’d be paying for a room for that Romeo to conduct late night frisky sessions, was just too much!

  “Ah, see, I made the Mona Lisa smile!” Harry Braufman said delightedly, grinning around at the other men. Had Harry been telling a joke? Anna wondered. If so, she hadn’t heard a word he’d said, and told him so, effectively wiping the smile off his face.

  “Face it, Harry – people only ever laughed at your jokes because you were the biggest kid in class and you’d break the faces of anyone who upset you. You were never funny,” Anna declared, getting to her feet. She saw the wounded look on Harry’s face, and guilt flashed through her. Who was she to criticise his class clown act?

  Like herself, he’d not been the most popular kid in class and so he’d made himself the court jester in order to survive. We all had to adjust to get by, Anna thought ruefully. And she remembered being sympathetic to Harry as he struggled with his glasses and his weight problem through all the cruel teasing of the other kids.

  Maybe all that assertiveness training Alexa has put me through has gone a little far! I never used to be this harsh. Sometimes I wish I’d never written that damn book – or let Wagner and Taille get their tabloid style hands on it!

  Filled with remorse, she leaned over and kissed Harry on his balding pate. “Hey, Harry – even when you weren’t funny, we loved you!” she said loudly, enjoying the look of pleasure on the man’s face.

  “Do you mean that, Anna?” he asked. The fool couldn’t just accept a kind word – he had to have it in triplicate. No wonder he became a mortgage broker!

  “Sure, Harry, we all got by as best we could in high school.”

  “You say that as though you didn’t enjoy being in our class,” Tawny Williams, homecoming princess, daughter of the local lawyer and mayor, and thoroughgoing spoiled bitch, whined in her throaty voice.

  “I didn’t enjoy it, Tawny. Anyone would have to have the IQ of a…a…homecoming princess to enjoy that zoo we called a class.” Yes! The look on the assembled faces was a picture Anna would carry with her forever. A serious case of the Mouse turns. Or maybe that was Mice – only Harry looked pleased at her words.

  * * *

  Whoops, the lady was coming over, and she did not look pleased. Jed straightened himself up from the bar he’d been leaning against, and disentangled himself from the blonde who’d been leaning against him. Maybe now was the time to also disentangle himself from whatever game it was this cute little bimbo was playing before she dragged him any deeper into her schemes. Besides, the longer he let it go on, the harder it would be to turn her down in the end.

  “It’s time for us to leave,” Anna announced, glaring daggers at some of her former classmates who were queuing up to be students of her escort.

  “But we haven’t had the rubber chicken and overcooked sprouts they always serve at a do like this – and I’m hungry,” Jed said.

  It was true - he was hungry. But more than that, he was really enjoying winding Anna up with his delaying tactics. He saw her glance flick over the women he’d been talking to and saw a flash of something – could it be jealousy? – in her eyes before she slipped her arm into his.

  “Darling, if you’re hungry, I’m sure we can find a way to satisfy you,” she purred, as she winked at their audience and smoothly herded him towards the main entrance.

  There, she’d done it again. A sexy innuendo, the touch of her warm, barely clad body against his – just where did women find these hardly-there evening gowns? And who made it legal to sell them, anyway? And there he was, his brain was hanging out a ‘Closed for the Duration’ sign and all his hormones standing to attention. Why did this woman, with her cutting tongue and her cold, scheming ways, have this effect on him?

  “Don’t worry,” she told him coldly as he slipped his key into the car door lock. “Feeding you is in your contract.”

  Whatever the contract was that she kept referring to, he was damned sure it didn’t include the kind of feeding he was hoping for. Then again, her little scheming mind would probably stretch to accommodate any of his hungers, so long as satisfaction came with a promise of a TV time slot. He slipped behind the wheel and slammed his door shut, leaving her standing on the sidewalk. He grinned – she’d been waiting for her ‘escort’ to open the door for her! Yes – now he’d start evening up the score between them.

  And when he found out just what she had in mind, he’d turn her down flat, and walk away enjoying the look on her face as she watched her little schemes crumble to the ground.

&
nbsp; CHAPTER FOUR.The hotel was typical small-town fare – looking faded and shabby outside, but clean and shabby inside. The teenaged desk clerk looked sleepy as he studied business and accounting text books, even though the evening was still young. Chairs were grouped around a small low table in front of a fire where logs burned fitfully, and a droopy “Welcome Class of ‘99” banner was splayed across the chimney breast.

  “Looks like all your buddies will be staying here, too,” Jed said, breaking the ominous silence that had wedged itself between them since leaving the school. Aside from giving him directions, Anna hadn’t spoken a word. Wrapped in his own thoughts, Jed hadn’t contributed much by way of conversational gambit, either.

  “It’s the only game in town – the ones from outside who couldn’t get a berth with a friend will be here.” Anna pasted on her shiny public face and swept up to the desk. “Hello, I’m Anna Findlay and I booked a two bedroom suite for tonight,” she told the sleepy clerk.

  “Findlay, Findlay….” The young man slowly ran his fingers down a typed guest list while Anna tapped long red nails on the desk. “Ah, yes, here we are – er, uh, you say you booked two bedrooms?”

  “That’s what I said.”

  “Was it a woman who took the booking?”

  “Yes, she sounded half-asleep like everyone else around here.”

  The desk clerk grinned, which brightened his face and made him look even younger. “That would be Patsy – she’s a sweet lady…”

  “Would that be Patsy Allen?” Anna interrupted him.

  “Yeah, you’d know her, you must have been in her class – I see you ordered our Special Reunion Package!”

  “Then there’s been some mistake, hasn’t there? I can tell by the look on your face, and by my memory of Patsy as the original blonde bimbo…” Anna’s voice was pleasant, but there was steel beneath it.

  The clerk didn’t notice – obviously, he was fascinated by Patsy’s charms. “Well, she’s not changed much. See…” He held the piece of paper up for Anna’s inspection, “She’s booked Findlay – suite for two, instead of writing Findlay – two bedroom suite.” The clerk looked at the paper in his hands as if it was some magical trick.

  Anna snarled: “Well, you’d better just find me another room, then – we want two rooms. Not a one bedroom suite. “

  “Sorry! No can do – we’re booked to the rafters,” the clerk replied. “Besides, this is the honeymoon suite, the best in the house.” His eyes drifted towards Jed, a knowing smile playing on his lips.

  “Then,” Anna said, leaning across the desk and giving the clerk a generous glimpse of cleavage, “You’d better start phoning around to other establishments, to see if you can’t just rustle up two rooms for me.”

  The youth tore his gaze away from Anna’s chest long enough to bray with laughter. “Are you kidding me – we’re still the only place in town, you know, and I know for sure that the Cattleman, the motel down the highway was fully booked a week before we were. Though why people would prefer to stay out on the highway instead of in town is beyond me.”

  “Probably so they can make a quick getaway in the morning,” Anna muttered rudely. The young desk clerk flushed red and placed the room key card on the desk. “Take it or leave it, lady – it’s all we have.” Then he turned on his heel and walked into the office behind him, slamming the door.

  “My, Anna, you have such style. Is there anyone you haven’t pissed off tonight?”

  She jumped at the voice behind her – not that she’d forgotten Bob’s presence. It was his presence, in fact, that was causing her to behave so badly. She knew the honeymoon suite from the days when she’d worked her summers as a maid – a small room with a giant king-sized bed, its own shower and a little kitchenette. Perfect for a newlywed couple who wanted nothing more than to spend a week in bed together.

  Totally wrong for a couple of strangers who, it seemed, couldn’t stand to spend even a few more minutes together, let alone the night. And even if they did want something more than a chaste goodnight, there was the No Sex Clause to be considered…

  They had only one choice: either spend the night together, or try to find some way of getting back to New York.

  “How much did you have to drink?” Anna demanded.

  Jed’s eyes cut to her. “A couple of beers – too much to drive without risking a suspension.”

  “Okay, then – give me the keys.”

  “Are you kidding? Let you drive my car? Lady, you’re really out of your mind.”

  “Look, they’ve screwed up the rooms. We’ve got the damned honeymoon suite. Either you let me drive, or we have to spend the night together.”

  “What a dreadful thought.”

  She glared at him. “I can assure you, you’ll be safe,” she snapped.

  “And vice-versa – I’d like to be alive tomorrow morning,” Jed murmured.

  ***

  Lord, what a mess! In other circumstances, he certainly would not object to spending the night with a beautiful woman, and especially a woman with the looks and brains of Anna Findlay. But not now that he was wise to her little scheme. Nevertheless, he was too tired for a long drive back to the city, even bolstered by a gallon of coffee to water down the beer.

  He’d rather sleep on the floor – which was exactly what he planned to do if nothing else worked.

  “You know, I didn’t come out prepared for an overnight stay,” he said reasonably, “Why don’t we see if there’s some place like a bed and breakfast or something?”

  “A bed and breakfast? Here? No tourist industry, no B & B’s. Not only does everything in this one-horse town close at 5 pm on a Saturday, but there’s no bed and breakfast places anyway.”

  “Maybe we could rent the one horse?”

  “Hah! Aha! Hah! You’re a real comedian, aren’t you? Pity you weren’t smart enough to read your contract so that you’d know it was an overnighter. I bet you read the bonus section of your pay slip well enough.”

  “You know, I want to talk to you about this contract...”

  “Oh, no – the contract’s set in stone. There’s no changing anything.” Anna wasn’t going to put up with any more nonsense, not now.

  Although changing the no sex clause might make the night more fun…Oh, shut up! She snapped at the little voice inside her head. The last thing she needed right now was any kind of complication in her life.

  What Anna really wanted was to get on a plane and go all the way back to Yorkshire, England, where she had lived quite happily for the last few years, up until her recent adventures…far, far away from Knotting Grove High School, the penurious Adams family, and all the things she wanted to forget.

  But obviously that wasn’t going to be possible right now. Squaring her shoulders and sticking out her chin, she held out her overnight bag to Bob and prepared to climb the single flight of stairs to her – their – suite. The bag fell to the floor because he didn’t take it from her, and she glared at him. “Couldn’t you at least make yourself useful and carry my bag? Lord knows, you’ve not done much else this evening to warrant the big fat pay off…”

  And that was when he stopped her with another of those kisses. The ones that sent waves of heat all the way through her and made her forget her irritation and how she much she hated Knotting Grove and wanted to be back in her adopted home. She felt right at home here in Bob’s arms…

  And Bob was nothing more than a hired escort, a gigolo to help get her through the night. Pulling away from him, Anna bent and snatched up her bag.

  “Don’t even try it!” she warned, turning on her heel and storming away up the big curved staircase.

  ***

  Jed wasn’t sure exactly what it was she didn’t want him to try. Was she coming over all coy now that she had gotten this far in her plan? Was she going to back out at the last minute and not come across with the goods? Part of him hoped she’d find that much decency and self-respect within herself; the other part hoped she’d throw herself on him and work
that gorgeous body in his favor…

  “You, my man, should keep your mind on your own problems,” he said to himself as he followed Anna up the stairs. He was glad for the moment’s delay – the view was spectacular. Jed had never liked really skinny women, preferring feminine curves in all the right places. And Lord knew, Anna had those and more. Enough curves to make heaven rejoice – and to drive a poor mortal man like himself plain crazy. He groaned under his breath. Just how was he to manage a night alone in a cosy hotel room with her? The honeymoon suite, for cripes sake! One thing was sure; he’d get no sleep at all.

  Which turned out to be pretty inaccurate. The ice in the room was enough to give a red-blooded man hypothermia as Anna went about taking a shower and getting into thin silk pyjamas for the night.

  * * *

  Catching sight of herself in the bathroom mirror, Anna gasped a little. The pyjamas had been a little gift of luxury to herself, bought without even a hint of seduction in mind.

  Since Louis had walked out on her she’d decided that everything she did would be for her own comfort and preference. After all, hadn’t she spent three years catering to the comfort and whims of a selfish, dishonest, mud-sucking, bottom dwelling, lower life form that called itself a man? Never again.

  Cosy jammies, the freedom to read half the night in bed if she wished, eating whatever and whenever she liked, watching the murder mysteries she loved on television instead of trying to join in intelligent commentary about intellectually stimulating documentaries with Louis and his highbrow friends… highbrow?

  Dammit, they were simply a pretentious bunch of poseurs, and their idea of highbrow was absolute drivel!

  But the mirror told her that these lovely silk jammies weren’t really just comfort material – they were revealing, the V-neck plunging between her breasts and the gorgeous soft fabric clinging to her figure in a way that left nothing to the imagination. They were, in fact, seduction gear.

  And then a slow smile crossed her face. Eat your heart out, Bob Goulding – even without the No Sex Clause it will be a case of look, but don’t touch!