Secrets Past (Mists of the Fae Book 2)

by Jaime Marks

  Marcus clasped Kato on the shoulder, “Thank you my friend. You did not have to see to all that.”

  “I merely bore witness and am relaying the events. Demytria was not yet ready to retire.” He shrugged with a smile.

  “Go, see to your mate. I know how glad you will be to escape all this chaos and attend only to her for a while. I am glad you have gotten her back.”

  “Reyana will come back to you as well, my friend. Your connection is too strong for her not to.”

  Marcus nodded but remained silent as Kato excused himself and Demytria. He and Reyana indeed had a strong connection but was it stronger than that she had hidden from him all this time. Was it stronger than the connection she had with Cymeryn?

  Please, Reyana, wake up. Please, he pleaded with all his heart.

  Cymeryn kissed her neck in reverence, moving in time with her body as her core milked his sex. He had given himself over to her completely, allowing her to sate herself with him. He knew it was not real, that when she woke she would be gone from his arms, but what she had given him here, he would treasure and hold until he could reach her again.

  He looked around. The vortex was settling. Soon she would be ready to wake. He buried his face in her neck wishing they could both remain here lost to each other forever.

  He lay back allowing her to collapse on his chest as he cradled her in his arms. These moments here with her, where she had taken from him so freely, giving herself to him without reservation or hesitation. He would hold them in his heart forever.

  She was still so confused. So lost to herself, but slowly she was regaining her mind, her memories. When she woke there would be nothing that was hidden from her. Not their past, not her abilities, it would all be known to her. What would she do with it? What would she choose? The only way for her to be whole would be to choose them both but he could not see her making such a choice any more than he could see it working in the world of the Fae.

  He kissed her forehead and she turned and kissed him softly. “You have to wake up soon, Reyn. I cannot hold you from drifting much longer.”

  She sighed and rolled off of him rising to her feet. “I don’t want to wake up. Waking up means you expect me to make a choice and I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that, Cymeryn. How can you expect me to choose between you and Marcus?”

  “I am not asking you to choose, love.” He rose reluctantly. “I am asking you to live.”

  She stared off in the distance away from him. The distance hurt. How was he supposed to let her go willingly? Even if only for a short time.

  “But you want me at your side Cymeryn, you haven’t exactly hidden that.”

  “No, and I never will. If I have it within my power to reclaim you Reyn, make no mistake, I will. We both know what is in your heart Reyn, what it is you want. You may fight within yourself about it, but we both know you would never deny me.”

  She turned to him, looking him over. “I bonded to your brother when he awakened me. I am his, Cymeryn. I love him. I could never deny him either.”

  “I know.” He replied casually, biting back on the pain it caused him. He did accept it, but neither would return to him willingly once he left her mind. Marcus would be with her yet again and he would be forced to suffered without her, without them both. “I never asked you to. As I said we both know what is in your heart.”

  “I know what you’re offering me Cymeryn, but I will not force your brother to turn.”

  “You do not understand, Reyn, do you? There is nothing you would ever force him to do. He came to you willingly in our bed. Gave himself over willingly. He will follow you, whatever the consequences, simply to be by your side. As would I.” He thought of what was awaiting him when he faced the Dark Lord with his failure. “I would walk through the very fires of the hells for you, Reyn. Marcus would do no less. If it is your will, it will be. I am not asking you to turn him. I am just not as fool as he to believe I will ever fully own your heart.”

  “It’s wrong, Cymeryn. Even what we did here, was wrong.” She turned from him again. “It’s wrong.”

  He went to her, pulling her back to his chest as he whispered in her ear, “There is nothing wrong about what happens between us. You feel this connection between us, this love, as well as I do. Stop judging and condemning yourself by the moral compass of the Fae. What happened between the three of us was consensual. You enjoyed it, he enjoyed it. There is nothing wrong about what happened. What is wrong is you tearing yourself apart because of it.”

  She did not respond readily but leaned back against him nestling into his arms as they came around her waist. “I don’t know if I can face him. You’re so accepting of this, but I can’t see him understanding it.”

  “He left me live did he not? You do not think he did so out of the kindness of his heart do you?’ Cymeryn chuckled. “There is more Darkness in his heart than either of you care to admit. Believe me when I say I am only alive because it is your will.

  “As far as his moral compass? You were in that room as well as I. He asked you if it was what you wanted before he took you. He came with you as I did. Marcus was every bit as lost in you as I was. Every bit as lost in you as you were in both of us.” He grazed her ear with his teeth. “He sated himself on your pleasure. If he were to judge you for it now it would be folly. As much as it pains me to say this, perhaps you should give him a chance before you assume what is in his mind.”

  She turned in his arms and he pressed her to his chest. “Thank you. For seeing me through this, for coming to me. It’s like awakening all over again. I was so scared.”

  “How could I not come? I could never bear to leave you like this.” He kissed her forehead and she leaned up, her lips taking his.

  She kissed him deeply, passionately, her hands running over his chest and he felt the need in her surge. He pulled back from her reluctantly, “Love, you need to wake up, it is not healthy to stay in this place within you for so long.” He twisted a strand of her hair in his fingers.

  “Just this. Just give me this. I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to be together like this again. I just need this time with you.” She looked to him with pleading eyes and he could never deny her, but he needed her to understand.

  He met her eyes so that she would see the truth in his words. “We will be together again Reyn, I swear it to you. I will come for you. You have only to ever reach out to me and I will come to you if I am able, in one form or another. I will likely be detained for a while, and my twin hides you well, but I will find you.”

  Realization crossed her face. “You’re Gray. The Darkness is there, but there is also Gray.”

  “Yes, love. When our essences merged, when you finally became mine, you changed me. I will never be Light. I will always be owned by the Darkness that rules me, but I am forever yours now as well. You may have bonded with Marcus, but you have also bonded with me.”

  “Then give me this time, please. I need to feel you, to remember.” She kissed him as her hand ran down his chest finding his erection. He groaned as she gripped his sex sliding her hand over its length.

  “Insatiable, Reyn, absolutely insatiable.” He murmured against her lips.

  She knelt in front of him and he watched as she took his sex into her mouth, licking and sucking her way up and down his length slowly as she watched him. He pulled her back gently and lay down turning her, he lifted her onto his chest and began to kiss and lick sliding his tongue into her core then down to her clit as she began to slide her tongue over him again before taking him deep into the back of her throat. He began to glide in and out with her movements as he worked her core with his mouth until she crested over. He drank her in as she moaned around his sex then he lifted her and lay her on her back.

  He kissed and nipped at her flesh as he prowled up her body until the head of his sex slid along those delicate wet folds. He worked himself against her slit as he suckled at her breasts. Her body arched as she moaned out his name her nails scoring his skin. />
  “Please, Cymeryn,” She gasped. “I need you.”

  He smiled as he slid into her, thrusting deep within, and roughly took her mouth. He thrust into her hard and fast taking her to that edge, working her the way that she craved. It was not enough, it would never be enough, but he would take the memory of her with him to sustain him until he could own her again. They came as one and he reveled in the feel of it.

  When he finished he withdrew from her and rolled on his back pulling her onto his chest. He kissed her head as he held her taking in the area around them. Her mind had finally settled. “It is time, love. I do not want this to end any more than you, but you cannot remain here. This would never be real enough for you. You need to live. You need your daughter.”

  He felt her stiffen but he had to get her to go back. He did not want to risk her slipping beyond even his reach. If she did not leave soon she may never find her way out. The chaos had been so extensive, she had slipped so deeply into her subconscious already.

  “I can’t leave Star to this life alone.” She murmured to herself.

  He stroked her hair, “No love, you cannot, but there is something you should know. Something they have not realized but that you have to understand.”

  She lifted her head and stared at him, “What is it Cymeryn? Is it about Star?”

  “Yes, Reyn. I met your daughter. I sensed her myself. While she is unique like you she was not born Fae. She is unawakened Shade. It will always be at the core of her nature. It is why her Father reaches her so easily and why she bonded to Byryn as she did.”

  Reyn nodded. “I suspected it. I haven’t had the chance to confirm it but I felt it in her.”

  “Remember who she is, Reyn. Accept her and guide her but do not condemn her for it. She will never be Light as they will try to mold her to be.”

  She looked away lost in thought.

  As he considered Staryana and the connection her Father still had to her an odd thought crept into his mind. “Reyn, have you ever spoken to Syneous of the Gray?”

  “Syneous? Who’s that?”

  “Sean, it is the name I gave him when he became full Shade.”

  “No, I didn’t even know of it myself the last time I saw him. Why would you ask that, especially now?”

  He kissed her forehead. “I am sorry my love, but I was considering what would happen when you left here, when you woke up and it occurred to me that Syneous had used the term Gray when he discussed Byryn and Staryana’s connection.”

  “Hmmm, I don’t know. Star has only known of it for a short time but maybe he retrieved it from her mind?”

  “Perhaps.” Something was amiss but he would worry about it once he saw to her. “You have to go my love.”

  “I know.” She whispered. “I just don’t know if I can do this, if I can face them.”

  “You have done nothing wrong, Reyn. We are who we are and no one can control the ways of the heart. You have not even performed the Bonding Rituals. It may be immoral in the eyes of the Fae, but even by their covenants the bonding is not complete until after you have completed the rituals and sealed it with your mating.” He kissed her. “Besides I doubt any save Marcus will know. We both know he will protect you.”

  She met his eyes, “I love you.”

  He smiled warmly, “And I love you. I will come for you Reyn, always. I will fight for you. I will never give up.” He stroked her cheek. “Now I want you to close your eyes. I am going to guide you so that you will not get lost. I want you to think about nothing.”

  She laughed. “I don’t think I can do that. My mind never stops.”

  He grinned wickedly. “Oh, I can clear your mind quite easily. You just need to let go and relax. Remember always that I love you and you have only need to reach out to me. Good bye, my beautiful Reyn.”

  Cymeryn held her face in his hands and kissed her passionately, deeply. When he felt the tension bleed from her he let them drift together in the ether, guiding her out of her mind. He knew he had shifted her balance slightly, but there was no helping that and he did not regret it. She was his and he would claim her. It mattered not to him whether he shifted her to Darkness now or then, the outcome would be the same. He had tried to respect her through this as much as possible, however, so that he could see her through and regain her trust.

  He lost himself in her touch once more as she began to fade from him. Soon, this would be little more than a dream and though she would know he was here she would wonder how much of it was real, and how much she imagined. He would know, however, he would always know.

  Chapter 17

  Marcus lay in the bed beside her, stroking her hair. He had sent Star and Byryn to sort out their quarters. They had been more than pleased that their rooms would be just across the hall that adjoined the suites. Marcus saw Mythos’ logic but despite how much he may like Byryn, he was tempted to throw the boy down the hall into the quarters of the Royal Guard.

  Unfortunately, he did not trust Star to her own devices right now and Byryn was more in tune with her than any other. If Byryn was right and she was truly unawakened Shade it made sense none of the Fae could connect with her enough to anticipate her thoughts or actions. Though in truth, none of them would be able to reach her as Byryn could anyway. It was plain that they had bonded.

  Reyana stirred and Marcus felt hope for the first time in hours. She had been so still, so cold that he was afraid he was losing her. Indeed Byryn had been concerned as well. He had sent Star and Kylion on some errand, making excuses so he could guide Marcus on how to navigate the chaos in her mind. Marcus had tried but essences swirled and thrashed haphazardly through her. The chaos had been extensive. Marcus couldn’t reach her. Byryn had bade him to rest for an hour and said he’d return after to attempt again.

  He brushed a stray hair out of her face and cradled her in his arms. “Reyana? Reyana, my love, please wake up. Please come back to me.”

  Her eyes fluttered but closed again.

  “Follow my voice, Reyana. Come back to me, please my love. I need you.”

  She groaned softly as her eyes opened slowly. She glanced around in confusion before she met his eyes, studying him cautiously. Fear tickled the back of his neck as he considered that he may have truly lost her, but he pushed it back and stroked her cheek as he was prone to do.

  “Reyana are you alright?”

  She nodded slowly. “Marcus?”

  He winced slightly that she would even have to ask. “Yes love. I’m right here.”

  “I must have been dreaming.”

  “You have been sleeping a long time love, almost an entire day.”

  She nodded. “I was lost, he found me.”

  Marcus studied her as a knot of fear gripped his chest. “It was just a dream love.”

  “Yeah, it had to have been.” She closed her eyes as if she was picturing something. “Was it all a dream? Was I ever really with him?”

  Marcus shook his head. “No, Reyana, he did take you. He had you for almost two days.”

  She nodded, “Then you came.”

  “I did. I will always come for you.” Marcus watched as she shut her eyes seemingly pained by his words.

  She turned to face him. “Was it real, did we…did the three of us?”

  “Yes, Reyana. The three of us, we, well Cymeryn and I...” He sighed in resignation. “We made love to you, Reyana, together.”

  “Do you hate me?” Her voice broke as tears streamed down her face.

  “Hate you?” He recoiled, “Reyana, I could never hate you.”

  Her eyes squeezed shut. “But I seduced you. I nearly turned you and I gave myself to you both, took you both within me. I broke our vows.”

  His heart broke for the pain he felt in her heart. He hooked his finger under her chin and lifted her face kissing away her tears. “Reyana, look at me, my love. Open your eyes.” She opened her eyes and met his, tears still streaming down her face. “First, you can seduce me whenever and however you want. I am your mate and yo
u should never be ashamed of wanting me, in anyway. I gave myself freely to you.”

  “But…”

  “No, Reyana, there is no but. I was in that room too. I made the choice to be with you in that way. I knew the consequences and I went there willingly with you. I would follow you anywhere, Reyana. In Light or in Darkness.”

  “But our vows, Marcus…”

  “Reyana, do you still love me?”

  “Yes, always, but….” Her breath was jagged as she looked away. “I love him too. I know it’s wrong. I know what he is but I love him. I’m sorry.” Her shoulders slumped in defeat, her head hanging.

  He nodded. “I know. I know your heart, Reyana. I was with you every moment. Your pleasure, your pain. I felt your love for me…for Cymeryn. I felt your heart rip in two when you realized you had no choice and it nearly destroyed you to wound him. I know how you feel for him. What I don’t know is if this is new for you, or if…if it has always been.” He struggled to keep the pain and fear from his voice, but he had to know the truth. “Have you hidden this from me, Reyana? Have you always loved him?”

  She sat up but he did not release her. He moved with her so she was cradled against his chest. “We’re in the Palace. This was my suite.” She surveyed the room. “I thought my Father, the Divine Being, sealed the Palace and the Realm of Gray from the outside world.”

  “It appears the Sanctuary is the Realm of Gray.” He replied studying her. He was used to the flow of their conversations. She could easily change subjects on a whim, but it generally meant she was gathering her thoughts…and sometimes avoiding the topic.

  She nodded looking around the room. The décor was plain but comfortable with its silver, white and gray tones and he could feel some part of her relax as she took it all in. “I had a moment where I suspected that it was, but I couldn’t remember. So many of my memories were still hidden. I don’t think it was intentional. I just didn’t know how to access them. Cymeryn wanted me to remember him, how he came to love me, so he taught me to unlock them. All of them.”