Beyond Control

by Kat Martin

  The thought made her stomach roll with nausea.

  Forcing the grim thought away, she glanced at her surroundings as she had done a thousand times, looking for something she’d missed, some way to escape.

  All she saw were rough cement walls, the cold cement floor, and a set of wooden stairs leading to a door into the main part of the cabin.

  From the more than two hours it had taken to drive there, she figured the place was somewhere on the way to Flagstaff or Williams. She had skied Snowbowl. She knew there were dozens of remote cabins all through the mountains north of Phoenix.

  She shifted on the mattress, her wrists pulling against the thin band of white nylon biting into her flesh. She sucked in a breath at the pain and eased into a more comfortable position.

  Though she was securely bound, she was free to move around the basement, to access the small refrigerator Damon had stocked with food, the bottles of water stacked beside it, to reach the portable toilet behind the curtain in the corner.

  Before and after he’d raped her, he had forced her to shower in the tiny bathroom upstairs. As she thought back, Damon had always been overly fastidious, his shoes polished to a glossy sheen, his black hair perfectly groomed, his expensive suits impeccably tailored.

  Both she and Tory had been impressed with his good looks and charm when they had first met him. Lisa had even been a little envious that Damon had been attracted to Tory instead of her.

  What a joke that was. A joke definitely on her.

  She surveyed her surroundings. It was late. Moonlight streamed into the basement through narrow windows on two sides at the top of the cement walls. The windows tilted out, opening enough for ventilation but too small for her to fit through. It was agony to be so close to freedom and not be able to escape.

  She lay back on the mattress, which appeared to be brand-new. She thought that Damon had recently outfitted the basement with her kidnapping in mind. Or more likely he had prepared the basement for Tory. She wondered where her friend was now, prayed she was okay, desperately needed her to call.

  Sooner or later, Tory would phone. The two of them had been friends since they had met in junior college, the kind of friends who stood by each other through an ugly divorce, a difficult pregnancy, the death of a husband. The kind of friends who could count on each other no matter what.

  Now Damon had Lisa’s phone and there was no way to know what would happen when Tory called. It had been Friday night when Damon had abducted her. Two sunny days had passed outside the narrow windows. She could see stars again. It had to be late Sunday or sometime after midnight early Monday morning.

  When she didn’t show up at work, someone would call the house. Would they start looking for her? Probably not the first day, but if she didn’t show up on Tuesday and didn’t answer her cell phone, one of the girls would go to her house to check on her.

  If she didn’t answer the door, whoever it was might call the police, but if the cops went inside, they wouldn’t find much: the bed mussed but no real sign of a struggle. The stun gun had been efficient and Damon had been wearing gloves.

  How long before they started really searching for her? And how would they have any idea where to look?

  Her stomach twisted into a cold, hard knot. Unless Tory called on Lisa’s phone and Damon answered.

  If Damon picked up, Tory would know something bad had happened. As soon as she found out Lisa hadn’t shown up for work, she would know Damon had done something terrible to her. She would call the police and they would arrest him, force him to tell them where he had taken her.

  But what if he convinced them he knew nothing about her disappearance? The man was an amazingly good actor. She and Tory could both attest to that. She prayed the police would figure out the truth before Damon came back to the cabin.

  Before he forced her to submit to him the way he had before. If he did, she would do it. She wanted to live. She would do whatever it took to survive until she could escape.

  She fisted the hands bound in front of her. She would find a way out of the cabin and once she was free, she would make Damon Bridger pay.

  * * *

  Today was Tory’s riding lesson. The morning slipped past going over alphabet cards at the kitchen table at Josh’s house with Ivy. When Mrs. Thompson showed up and the time for her lesson drew near, she realized what a bad idea it was.

  Every minute she spent with Josh was turning into an agony of sexual frustration. She wanted him. And though she kept trying to convince herself having sex with Joshua Cain would be a stupid thing to do, she couldn’t deny the urge.

  She kept thinking about last night, how she’d wondered where he was, whether he was with another woman. She knew he was attracted to her. At least she was fairly certain. When he looked at her, the hot gleam in those deep blue eyes spoke volumes.

  Last night, she’d found herself waiting up, watching for his pickup headlights to come rolling down the dirt road back to the ranch. She’d felt a ridiculous wave of relief when he’d pulled up in front of his house well before nine P.M.

  She didn’t think he had been with a woman last night, but Josh was a virile man and a man like that had needs. Sooner or later, he would find himself a woman, and the straight truth was, Tory wanted to be that woman.

  She glanced up at a knock on Josh’s front door. She always kept the door locked just in case. Seeing Josh, she waved good-bye to Mrs. Thompson and Ivy and pulled the door open.

  “You ready for your riding lesson?”

  Riding lesson. Dear God in heaven. Her eyes ran over the hot male in front of her. Tory swallowed, trying to block the image that rose in her head.

  She managed to smile. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  In his usual faded jeans and a dark blue T-shirt that hugged his chest and biceps, he pushed up the brim of his beat-up cowboy hat, waited for her to walk past him across the porch, then fell in behind her.

  Her heart was racing and it had nothing to do with the sudden realization she was actually going to have to learn to ride a horse.

  “You ever been on a horse before?” Josh asked when they reached the cow barn, which he and Cole had reinforced after the horse barn burned down.

  It wasn’t much, but at least it provided a shady place out of the weather for the animals and a room off to one side for the new saddles, bridles, and other miscellaneous tack Josh had purchased.

  “I went on a couple of desert trail rides before I had Ivy. The horses were pretty old.”

  Josh walked over to where a little sorrel with two white stocking feet stood saddled and ready. “This is Rosebud. She’s twelve. Nice and calm, but she’s not like those rental horses. Rose has plenty of spunk.” He scratched the mare’s forehead. “Don’t you, girl?” The horse nickered softly.

  Josh ran a hand along the animal’s sleek neck. The confident glide of his fingers made Tory’s skin feel hot. Rosebud rubbed her head against his shoulder.

  Josh had a way with animals. She had noticed that before. Except for Star.

  “We’ll need to adjust your stirrups.”

  She took a deep breath. “Okay.”

  “Put you knee here and I’ll give you a boost.” He clasped his fingers together and bent down. Tory put her knee in his cupped hands and he boosted her so easily she nearly went over the other side of the saddle.

  Josh chuckled. “Sorry. I forgot how little you are.” The minute he said the words, the smile slid off his face. Why the thought upset him, she had no idea.

  “You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine.”

  He was all business again, adjusting the stirrups, showing her the correct position, how to hold the reins, keep them loose and low, with just enough pressure. The problem was that in order to show her, he had to touch her, and every time he touched her, she wanted to slide off the horse into his arms.

  Oh, this was so bad. How had she ever come up with such a stupid idea?

  Josh must have agreed because he got quieter and quieter, as if forcing
each word out was a challenge.

  “Let’s . . . umm . . . go into the arena.” He led Rosebud into the fenced-in ring and directed Tory to ride in a circle, first walking, then trotting. Josh taught her to post, which kept her from bouncing around like a fool.

  She rode for an hour, found herself enjoying the feel of the animal responding to her subtle commands.

  “You’re doing great but we’d better stop for the day. You’ll be sore tomorrow if we don’t.”

  A hot mental picture arose. She’d be pleasure-sore if Josh did what she wanted him to do.

  As he tied the mare to a ring in the wall, she glanced down at him, into eyes as blue and hot as the tip of a flame. Josh reached up and wrapped his hands around her waist. Tory set her palms on those wide shoulders and felt his amazing muscles bunch. It was too much. She couldn’t take it anymore.

  When he swung her to the ground, she didn’t let go, just went up on her tiptoes, slid her arms around his neck, and kissed him for all she was worth.

  Josh growled low in his throat. A moment’s hesitation, then he was kissing her back, his tongue in her mouth, hers in his, walking her backward till she came up against the rough board wall.

  Tory slid her hands beneath his T-shirt, ran her fingers over the hot, smooth skin underneath, traced the jagged line of his scar. His muscles flexed and tightened and she moaned.

  Josh tugged his T-shirt off over his head, tossed it away, and kissed her again, long, slow, and deep. Tory traced his six-pack abs, his pecs, wrapped her fingers around a thick bicep. She was hot all over, barely able to breathe. All those beautiful muscles felt better than she could have imagined, and Josh really knew how to kiss.

  His fingers worked the buttons on the front of her blouse, fumbling, trying to unfasten them. Tory did it for him, tugging so hard on the last button it went flying across the barn. When he popped the clasp on the front of her bra and filled his hands with her breasts, she thought she might actually faint.

  But when she started to peel the blouse off her shoulders, Josh went still. He caught her hands, pushed them aside, and began to pull the fabric back in place.

  “Noah and Cole are coming in for fresh supplies.”

  Tory whimpered. No. She was shaking. God, this can’t be happening.

  Leaving her to refasten the rest of the buttons—all but the missing one—he grabbed his T-shirt and pulled it on over his head.

  “Go back to the house. I’ll take care of Cole and Noah.”

  She just nodded, her face the color of a tomato. She was beginning to realize what she had done. She’d almost had sex with Joshua Cain, had physically attacked him out in the cow barn. Oh. My. God.

  She didn’t know whether to apologize or pack her bags and head off down the road. She wanted to tell him she had never done anything like that before but if she did, she would probably sound like an idiot.

  Moving quickly as the men roared up on their ATVs, she headed back to the house, pausing for a moment outside the front door to compose herself, praying Mrs. Thompson wouldn’t notice the pulse fluttering at the base of her throat or the slight flush remaining in her cheeks.

  She prayed she would still have a job in the morning.

  Oh, dear God.

  * * *

  “We came back for a fresh load of fence posts,” Noah said. “Got farther along than we thought we would.”

  He nodded. “That’s good. You get a chance to check on those cows up by the pond?”

  Determined to keep his gaze from straying to the house, Josh forced himself to concentrate on the work that needed to be done and not the feel of Tory’s full breasts in his hands. The memory sent a fresh rush of heat into his groin, making his already snug jeans even tighter.

  “They were fine,” Cole said. “Got plenty to eat, that’s for sure.”

  “There’s a crew coming in tomorrow,” Josh said. “Heavy equipment to tear down what’s left of the barn and haul it away, get the pad ready for building the new one. I’ll need you here to help.”

  “No problem,” Cole said.

  “Be smart to get a new barn up as soon as possible.” Noah glanced over at the pile of charred, blackened wood. “Weather can be crazy around here.”

  “That’s for sure,” Josh said, thinking at the moment, he was the one who’d gone crazy.

  The men headed over to the stack of fence posts and spools of twisted wire and began reloading the supply trailer.

  Josh went back to work on the cow barn. He tried to concentrate on tearing out the big, termite-riddled frame around the wide double doors, replacing it with new lumber, but his mind kept returning to Tory.

  What could he say to her? How could he explain what he had very nearly done? He still didn’t understand how an innocent little kiss had exploded into something so hot it had very nearly cost him his highly prized control.

  If Noah and Cole hadn’t shown up, he was pretty damn sure he would have taken Tory right there in the dirty old cow barn.

  What the fuck was he thinking?

  He wasn’t using his head, that was for sure. Or at least not his big head. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so close to the edge, and he sure as hell didn’t like it.

  Not one bit.

  He didn’t know what he was going to say to her. If she didn’t need his protection so badly, he would give her a fat chunk of severance pay and send her down the road. He would be doing her a favor, doing the best thing for both of them.

  But he couldn’t do it. Not with her predator ex-boyfriend still on the hunt.

  He’d talk to her, he decided. They were both adults. They could discuss what had happened, come to an understanding of why it couldn’t happen again.

  Tory was a smart girl. She understood it wasn’t right for a boss and his employee to share a physical relationship. He’d talk to her tonight after she put Ivy to bed. Make sure they were both on the same page.

  He just needed to work up the nerve.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Tory worried the rest of the afternoon. What could she possibly say to Josh? It was entirely her fault. The man was simply teaching her how to ride a horse and she had attacked him. She was so far beyond embarrassed she couldn’t believe it.

  And yet there was a tiny secret part of her that wished he hadn’t stopped when he had. A tiny feminine part that wanted to take that wild, amazing ride all the way to the finish.

  She wanted him now more than ever. Would he see the hunger stamped in her face the moment he looked at her? She prayed to God he wouldn’t. If he did, he would probably fire her on the spot.

  Or maybe not. The way he’d touched her, kissed her, there was a chance he had wanted her as much as she’d wanted him.

  Either way, it wasn’t going to happen. She would tell him that as soon as she saw him, explain that something she didn’t completely understand had happened but she wouldn’t allow it to happen again.

  She thought about it the rest of the afternoon and the entire time she was making him supper, mentally preparing herself to face him. By the time she had the ham baked and the green beans with bacon cooked, she was ready.

  Unfortunately, Josh didn’t come in to eat. After an hour of waiting, she fixed him a plate and shoved it into the oven, bagged up her portion, and put the rest of the food in the refrigerator. She took Ivy’s hand, and they walked back to the trailer.

  By the time they had finished their supper and she had put Ivy to bed, she was sure Josh had decided to fire her. She would have to leave the ranch, find a place in another town, another state. She felt sick just thinking about it. She tried to mentally prepare herself, but kept clinging to the fragile hope he would let her stay.

  She wasn’t willing to barter herself—offer sex in exchange for keeping her job. That was never going to happen, though the notion had an embarrassing amount of appeal. Still, there was a chance they could come to some kind of understanding. She should at least give it a try.

  It was getting late. She’d give anything
to talk to Lisa, tell her what was happening, get some best-friend advice. Lisa was her rock, the one person she could always count on.

  Tory toed off her sneakers and was starting to get undressed when she heard Josh’s familiar three quick raps on the door. Her pulse kicked up. Hurrying across the living room, she stopped to check the peephole just to be sure, then pulled open the door.

  Josh stood on the porch, his features grim. Her heart squeezed.

  “You got a minute to talk?” he asked.

  She swallowed, nodded, stepped out on the porch and quietly closed the door. The night was warm, a light breeze rustling through the thick green grasses. She could hear birds lifting off a pond close to the house.

  Josh pulled something out of his back pocket and set it on the wooden table next to the door. Moonlight slanted down, illuminating the cleft in his chin and the planes of his handsome face. “I bought you a phone when I was in town.”

  Thank God. Now she could call her friend. “You can deduct it from my—”

  He held up a hand, silencing her.

  “Thank you,” she said.

  Josh looked down at her. They both started to speak at the same time. “I’m sorry about what happened,” they said in unison.

  “It wasn’t your fault,” they both said.

  “I’m sorry,” she said softly.

  “Not your fault,” Josh said, but of course it was.

  His hand came up to her cheek. He was staring at her mouth. She looked into those blue, blue eyes and everything inside her clenched.

  She told herself not to do it, that it was too big a risk. But her heart wasn’t listening. Rising up on her toes, she very softly kissed him. Josh went utterly still.

  “We can’t, Tory.” He pushed a copper curl away from her face.

  “I know. It shouldn’t have happened the first time.”

  Josh just nodded. Bending his head, he brushed a featherlight kiss over her lips, just the briefest of touches. Her breath hitched, came out on a sigh.

  His eyes darkened, the blue turning nearly black. “I want you,” he said. “So damned much.”

  “I want you, too.”

  Josh’s big hand slid into her hair. He pulled her into his arms, his mouth crushed down over hers, and Tory melted. When her lips parted in invitation, his tongue swept in. Instead of stopping, it was as if something broke free. Josh took, demanded, didn’t back away, made her want everything she had missed out on that afternoon.