Beyond Control

by Kat Martin

  His kiss was hot, wet, and deep, his hands in her hair, holding her in place as he ravaged her lips. Tory shoved up his T-shirt. Josh dragged it off over his head and tossed it away. Her hands ran over his chest, tracing the hard planes and valleys, the twisted flesh on his side, a mark of honor from the war. In the moonlight he looked like a warrior fashioned in bronze.

  Josh unbuttoned her blouse, his fingers steadier this time but not much. He shoved the fabric off her shoulders, let it fall to the porch. Tory unhooked her bra and shrugged it off, rose up and kissed him, felt the heat of his hands on her breasts, big hands, strong and calloused, hands that seemed to know exactly how to touch her, caress her, make her burn.

  She moaned, everything inside her aching with need and on fire. Trembling, she bent and pressed her mouth against a flat copper nipple. Josh’s fingers slid back into her hair, holding her in place as she circled the hard tip with her tongue.

  He groaned, dragged her mouth back to his and kissed her, first one way and then another, kissed her and kissed her and kissed her. Both of them were breathing hard, gasping for air when he pulled away.

  “Tory, baby, if we don’t stop now, I won’t be able to.”

  “I don’t want you to stop.” She leaned up and pressed a kiss against his jaw, felt the rough stubble she found so appealing.

  “I don’t want to hurt you, honey.”

  “You won’t hurt me. Please, Josh. I need you.”

  “Jesus, God, you have no idea how bad I want you.” He kissed the side of her neck, nipped the place below her ear just hard enough for her to feel it. “I’m not a gentle lover. If I take you, you’ll know it. Are you sure?”

  Heat and need rolled through her, followed by an instant of uncertainty as she thought of Damon. But this was Josh. He had helped her when no one else would. He had been kind to Ivy. This was Josh and she trusted him.

  And she wanted him like she had never wanted another man. Just once, she wanted to experience this wild desire, wanted to claim this moment of passion for herself. “Yes . . .”

  The single word was all the encouragement he needed. In minutes her jeans were gone and she stood on the porch in nothing but a pair of white cotton bikini panties. The next thing she knew, those were gone, too, and he was kissing her again, lifting her, wrapping her legs around his waist.

  His belt buckle jangled. His zipper buzzed down. She was hungry for him, dizzy, and on fire.

  “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “I want you inside me. Please, Josh.”

  His big hands gripped her bottom as he moved backward, propping her shoulders against the wall. Kissing her hard, he surged upward, taking her deep, filling her completely. When she gasped, Josh cursed.

  “I’m sorry. I—”

  “Don’t stop. Oh, God, Josh, don’t stop.” She moved on him, taking him deeper, feeling his heavy arousal, the heat, moaning, destroying the last of his control.

  Josh drove into her again and again. He was big and he was hard and he felt incredible. Tory clung to him as the first wave struck, sent pleasure burning through her. She moaned and clung to his neck.

  The second climax shocked her, left her limp and barely able to hang on. He rode her into another amazing climax—impossible, she thought as he finally let himself go, reaching his own powerful release.

  Time spun out, seemed to stand utterly still. Eventually they began to spiral down, Tory limp against Josh’s chest. Kissing her one last time, he slowly lowered her to her feet.

  Her legs were shaking. She felt exhausted yet alive with energy. Tory stared up at him. “Oh. My. God.”

  He frowned. “Did I hurt you?”

  She couldn’t stop a smile. “You were amazing.”

  His wide shoulders relaxed. “That’s good. Better than good. I’ll be right back.” He was wearing a condom, she realized, and couldn’t believe this was the first time she had thought of protection. Oh. My. God.

  The good news was, thanks to Damon, she was on a tiny birth control implant called Nexplanon that lasted for up to three years.

  Josh returned a few minutes later, grabbed her panties and jeans off the porch, and handed them over. “I came here to talk. I guess it’s too late for that now.”

  Her face colored. She couldn’t believe she had actually had sex with Josh Cain against the wall in front of her house.

  She didn’t know whether to apologize again or just leave before he fired her. Instead, she put her panties back on and pulled on her jeans, put on her blouse without the bra.

  “I can see your mind working,” Josh said as he dragged his T-shirt over his head. “What’s going on in that female brain of yours?”

  “I don’t know. I can hardly think.”

  His mouth edged up for the first time that night. “In this particular case, that’s not a bad thing.”

  “I don’t understand how it happened. I couldn’t seem to help myself. It was like I went a little crazy.”

  “I know the feeling. How long since you’ve had sex?”

  “If that was sex, I’ve never had it before.”

  Josh laughed and the sound turned her inside out.

  “This is not how I saw this going down,” he said.

  “How did you see it going down?”

  “If you want the truth, I didn’t see it happening.”

  “Ever?”

  “No, but now that it has, I’m not sorry.”

  “We can’t do it again.”

  His jaw locked and he glanced away. “I know.”

  “You’re my boss and it wouldn’t be right.”

  He just nodded. “That’s what I came here to tell you.” He sighed. “If you still want to stay, I give you my word it won’t happen again.”

  She believed him. If a man like Josh Cain gave you his word, he kept it. Sex with him would never happen again.

  That was what she wanted, wasn’t it? She didn’t want to be the kind of woman the sheriff and the fire chief thought she was. Add to that she didn’t believe in strictly physical relationships—friends with benefits—and she knew that was all this was.

  On the other hand, she was a grown woman raising a child. She was a woman with needs like any other woman. She could do whatever she wanted. And she wanted more of Joshua Cain.

  So why the hell not?

  She heard the words tumbling out of her mouth even before they completely registered in her brain. “On second thought, we’re both adults. Why not enjoy ourselves for as long as the attraction lasts? Eventually I’ll be leaving, moving somewhere Ivy and I can make a new life. In the meantime, as long as I’m what you want and you’re what I want . . .”

  She let the words trail off. The next instant, she was pressed against the wall, with Josh’s mouth crushing down over hers. The kiss went on until her head spun and her knees went weak.

  Finally he let her go. “You sure about this?”

  “If you’re sure I’m what you want.”

  “Oh, you’re what I want. I think we’ve established we’re both currently in lust.”

  She nodded. “Yes, I suppose that explains it. But it won’t be easy, not with a child in the house.”

  The corner of his mouth kicked up. “Don’t worry, honey, we’ll figure it out.”

  Tory looked into his hard, handsome face and felt a rush of longing that should have been a warning.

  Instead she just said, “Okay.”

  * * *

  Tory checked on Ivy. The little girl was curled on her side clutching Pansy, deeply asleep. Leaning over, Tory kissed her forehead, then headed down the hall to her bedroom. Until tonight, the bed had never looked empty and uninviting.

  She thought about what had happened between her and Josh. She had known by the look in those amazing blue eyes that he’d wanted her again, but he had just kissed her and said good night.

  Part of her was grateful. He was giving her time, giving them both a chance to rethink the situation. She wondered if, in the cold light of day, she would
regret what she had done, wondered how Josh would feel.

  But Tory’s decision was made. Just this once, she was taking something for herself. No matter how brief the affair, she wanted this time with Josh.

  She looked at the cheap plastic phone he had bought her. She desperately needed to talk to Lisa. She had never needed her friend’s advice more. But it was late and tomorrow was a workday.

  Pulling on an oversize T-shirt, she set the disposable on the nightstand in her bedroom and slid beneath the covers. First thing in the morning, she would call her best friend.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Another endless day had passed. It was late, the moon spearing light between the branches of the pine trees in the dense forest around the cabin. But Lisa couldn’t sleep. It was cold and musty in the basement, the scratchy wool blanket tossed over the mattress not nearly warm enough.

  She huddled, shaking, her teeth chattering, cursing the monster who had brought her here. She’d thought that by now he would have returned. He would be back, she was sure—it was only a matter of time.

  Time, usually something she’d never had enough of, dragged endlessly here. But during those endless hours, she’d had time to think, time to come up with a plan.

  Instead of dreading their next encounter, Lisa found herself praying for Damon’s return, praying for the chance to put her plan into motion. She was ready, more than ready.

  She glanced at the spot on the rough cement wall, the circle she had scratched into the cement with her fingernails. They were broken now, two of them bloody, but the sharp edge she had marked was easy to find.

  Where are you? she thought. I’m waiting for you, Damon.

  She had accepted the fact that sooner or later Damon was going to kill her. After what he had done, he couldn’t let her live. He would kill her if she let him.

  She wasn’t going to give him the chance.

  A distant sound reached her, drawing her attention to the window. As if her prayers had been answered, she heard the whine of an engine coming up the dirt road, the crunch of gravel as a car pulled up in front of the cabin.

  Her pulse began racing as the engine went off and the car door opened. She clamped down on the urge to scream for help. The windows were too high for her to see out, but she knew in every cell of her body it was Damon.

  She listened to the thump of heavy footfalls crossing the screened-in porch, then the lock turning, the door opening and closing. He was here. He had come to satisfy his sick desires. She couldn’t let herself think what he planned to do, couldn’t let herself remember the last time.

  It wasn’t going to happen again.

  She was going to escape.

  Overhead she could hear him walking around the cabin. He’d be coming down any minute now. Moving awkwardly, as fast as her bound ankles would allow, she made her way over to the wall. Taking a breath, she pressed her forearm on the jagged piece of cement and jerked her arm down, slicing long and deep enough to make sure there’d be plenty of blood.

  Hissing against the pain, she made her way clumsily back to the mattress and lay down, smearing the blood running down her forearm over the mattress beneath where she sat and between her legs.

  The basement door opened. In the moonlight, she could barely make out Damon’s evil, handsome face as he descended the stairs.

  “Hello, sweetheart,” he said. “Did you miss me?”

  She swallowed the bile that rose in her throat. “I didn’t miss you, Damon. I loathe the sight of you.”

  “You loathe me? I would think after the last time, you would know better than to speak to me that way. I doubt you’ve forgotten the punishment I meted out.”

  Her ribs still ached; one of her eyes was swollen shut. She fought not to whimper.

  “Loathe me all you want,” he said as he descended the stairs, “I’m still going to fuck you.” He paused to flip the light switch, illuminating the single stark bulb in the ceiling overhead. “We’ll enjoy ourselves; then in the morning, you’re going to call your office. You’re going to tell them you have the flu and you’ll be out the rest of the week.”

  Oh, God. She should have known he would have it all figured out.

  He took another step and paused. “What is that on the mattress?”

  She gave him a disgusted smile. “It’s blood, Damon. I started my period.”

  He recoiled as if she had slapped him, just as she had known he would.

  “Well, your timing is just perfect, isn’t it? I’m not about to touch you in your filthy condition. You need a shower. There are supplies in the bathroom under the sink. Once you’re clean, you can use your mouth on me.”

  Her lip curled, making her hatred clear. “I guess you thought of everything.”

  “Get up.” Careful not to get too close, he waited for her to stand and make her way toward him. Since it was impossible for her to climb the stairs with her ankles bound, he pulled out a vicious-looking folding knife and cut through the plastic tie.

  It was all she could do not to attack him, try to pry the knife from his hands and stab it into his malevolent heart. Instead, she waited, stuck to her plan.

  Careful to keep her injured arm out of sight, she climbed the wooden stairs in front of him. Damon stayed a few feet behind.

  When they reached the tiny bathroom, he shoved her down on the toilet seat, pulled back the plastic shower curtain, and turned on the water. She was sure he’d drag her into the freezing spray, but instead, he turned and sliced through the plastic tie on her wrists.

  “Get yourself cleaned up. If you’re thinking of doing something stupid, I still have the stun gun.” Damon stepped out of the bathroom and closed the door, and Lisa nearly wept with relief.

  So far her plan was working. She had gone over every detail she remembered of the tiny bathroom, believing this was her best chance to get away. She hadn’t expected him to free her hands, but she was naked and injured from the last beating he had given her. And as he had said, he had the stun gun.

  She shivered at the thought. Clenching and unclenching her fists, she rubbed her bruised and injured wrists. She could do this.

  She had to.

  As silently as possible, praying Damon wouldn’t hear, she slid the old-fashioned lock on the bathroom door into place.

  “Hurry up in that shower or I’ll come in and drag you out.”

  This was it. Moving quickly, she grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her hand, dragged in a harsh, steadying breath and punched her fist through the glass in the window over the toilet.

  “What the hell?” The doorknob rattled as she cleared as many of the broken shards out of the way as she could, then stepped up on the toilet, pulled herself up over the sill, and dropped down on the other side.

  The second she started to run, she heard the door crash open and Damon rush into the bathroom. “You bitch!” he screamed.

  Lisa kept running. She had reached the trees by the time the front door slammed open, then the screen door, and Damon rushed outside. Foul words spewed like venom off his tongue as he raced after her, heading for the trees where she had disappeared. Lisa just kept running.

  The dirt road leading up to the cabin had turned off a paved road at the bottom of the hill. She remembered that from the time she had spent in the trunk of Damon’s car. If she could make it to the road, maybe she could flag down a vehicle.

  Stones and twigs cut into her bare feet. Rough bark scraped her skin as she ducked under branches and tripped over rocks, but she kept running. Nothing was going to stop her. Not as long as her heart beat and she had breath in her lungs.

  Careening down the mountain, her pulse pounding wildly, she heard him behind her. Keep going. Keep going. Downhill, downhill, following a dry streambed, slowing now, picking her way more carefully. Spotting an indentation in the bank, she crouched and ducked inside, hiding, listening for his footsteps, her heartbeat roaring in her ears.

  She could hear him, battering his way through the forest, not worried about
making noise, knowing there was no one around to hear.

  She had to keep going. No other choice. Bursting out of her hiding place she ran and ran and ran. Then she saw it, a ribbon of pavement winding its way through the woods below. A little ways off, twin beams of light rolled along at a leisurely clip moving in her direction.

  Hope soared and a fresh burst of adrenaline burned through her, giving her shaking legs the strength to move. Stomach churning with fear, she raced down the hill, trying to time her arrival for the moment the car rounded the curve.

  She reached the road, saw the car coming, a compact SUV with two people inside. Glancing over her shoulder, she caught a glimpse of Damon behind her and the knot in her stomach tightened.

  You can do it. Don’t give up! She burst into the road just as the car rounded the bend. Lisa started waving madly, forcing the car to slow, screaming, forcing the words out of her dry throat.

  “Help! Help me!” The SUV rolled to a stop. “Please help me!”

  The driver’s door opened, a slender young man stepped out of the car. She heard the echo of a gunshot, saw the horrified look on the young man’s face, felt a burning, tearing pain in her back. Then her body went numb and her vision blurred as her head hit the pavement and she was hurled into darkness.

  * * *

  The demolition crew arrived early the following morning, a big yellow Caterpillar backhoe, an old red Mack dump truck, and an extra hired hand to help Josh, Noah, and Cole with the cleanup. Josh had a skip loader parked next to the tool shed.

  Not quite ready to face Tory after the hot sex they’d had last night, he left a note for her on the kitchen table, brewed coffee, fixed himself an egg sandwich, and went to work.

  Until last night, he had done his best to behave as her employer and keep his distance. But he’d been attracted to Tory Ford since the day she’d driven up in front of the barn, since she had bulled her way into his life, she and her irresistible little girl.