The Marry-Me Wish

by Alison Roberts

  And maybe that was why that particular moment had seemed so loaded. She’d been unable to stop herself looking for clues. David had seemed astonished she wasn’t missing work and that she was enjoying the domestic kind of challenge she had taken on with the house and garden. Was he thinking she might be happy to give up work for a longer time and be content to nurture children as well as a garden? Had she been encouraging that line of thought with her accounts of happy visits to see Julia and Mac and the twins over the last couple of weeks? There was no mistaking the way David had lost interest in the conversation when she’d said she would start missing work in due course.

  Let it go, she ordered herself. This kind of mental circuit was useless. Damaging. Something had changed for the better in the wake of that kiss because they were more comfortable with each other and Anne was more than happy not to rock the boat. Despite the rapidly increasing level of her physical activity, she was still resting emotionally. Content to sidestep both the kind of fierce mental effort her job involved and also the emotional roller-coaster that came with the territory of an intimate relationship.

  It was a joy to have a distraction that was both compelling and deeply satisfying. And maybe the promise hanging in the air was the same for both aspects of her life right now—the restoration project and her relationship with David. Basic repairs had been done. The finished picture was unknown but was drawing them both forward because it had to be better than it had been before.

  Toward the end of that week, Anne was spending the last of the daylight to empty some of the numerous boxes of plants she had purchased. This was the best time of day for this task. Hot sun would not stress the baby plants. She could give them a good drink and they would have the whole night to settle into their new environment. This was one of the bigger borders, in view of the main living area.

  ‘Part of the vista,’ she reminded herself with a giggle.

  Her plan had been simple. She wanted to create a colourful mass of blooms. The kind that David’s mother had probably taken pride in. After consulting books and experts in the garden centres, she was planting old-fashioned flowers en masse.

  Plants like delphiniums and hollyhocks for height at the back, nigella and aquilegia amongst the rose bushes in the middle and a border of gorgeous blue violas along the front.

  The house was empty.

  So quiet.

  Disappointment at not finding Anne in the kitchen where she normally was at this time of day morphed into something even less pleasant as a horrible notion occurred to David.

  Maybe she’d packed her bags and gone home. She might have had a phone call today to tell her that the repairs on her cottage were complete and it was ready for habitation again. She might have tried to call him to tell him she was moving home but he’d been so busy he hadn’t even glanced at his cellphone for too many hours to count and then the idea of checking for messages had been the last thing on his mind when all he’d wanted had been to get home and unwind after a frantic day.

  It had been one major case after another in the emergency department today. A child had been knocked from his bicycle by a careless motorist and the head injury had looked serious enough to have panic-stricken parents and other relatives haunting the department until the little boy had been stabilised and taken to the intensive care unit. A man of only thirty-five had been the victim of a major heart attack and had arrested twice before he could be stabilised enough to be transferred into the care of cardiologists and taken to the catheter laboratory where several stents had been put in to repair blocked arteries.

  Another adult had presented with terrifying shortness of breath that turned out to be a pulmonary embolus complicating the recovery from recent surgery. And amidst all the major drama had been the relentless stream of less life-threatening but still serious cases. People who had been in pain and sick and needed medical assistance.

  Yes, it had been an exceptionally long day but David had been completely in his element. It might have been stressful and tiring but even in its most chaotic moments he’d been aware of an undercurrent that had added to his job satisfaction. One that he hadn’t really been aware of missing for rather a long time.

  That undercurrent was the knowledge that at the end of his day he would be going home to someone who would be genuinely interested in hearing all about it.

  Funny how that extra dimension could make such a difference. Enough to make it no chore to spend even longer at work. Long enough to make a visit to the intensive care unit and the coronary care unit to follow up on some of those patients so that he could add to their stories when telling them to Anne.

  But she wasn’t here.

  David dropped his briefcase beside the kitchen table, shrugged off his jacket to throw it over the back of a chair and loosened the tie that was starting to feel like a noose around his neck. He wrenched open the door of the fridge and extracted a bottle of icy-cold lager, flipping off the lid and not bothering to pick it up when it skated across the bench to land in the sink.

  Moodily, he wandered out of the kitchen. The door to the guest suite was open but he could sense the emptiness beyond. When he’d finished his beer, he’d better unearth his phone and find out where the hell Anne had gone. With a sigh that was more like a low-grade rumble, he skirted the heap of drop sheets and big buckets that were obviously awaiting the return of the decorators in the morning. Their presence prompted him to walk into the main living area in the hope that some visible progress might spark an interest that seemed to have utterly faded since noticing he was alone in the house.

  Wallpapering had begun. The huge room looked ghostly in the fading daylight thanks to the pale drop sheets covering all the furniture and the lack of any curtains at the windows. Ghostly and…lonely. He could brighten things up by turning on some lights but why bother? Taking another long swig of his drink, David stepped towards the remaining natural light instead. More out of a sense of duty than interest he looked through the latticed windows to see if he could spot anything new in the garden redevelopment.

  And there, right in front of him, he saw Anne crouched on the edge of the biggest border.

  Thank God, was his first thought. She’s still here.

  The wash of relief was powerful enough to render him motionless, his drink poised in mid-air. He felt his lips curl into a smile that was entirely unconscious and then both his hand and his eyelids lowered as something much darker than relief took over.

  Dismay.

  Why did it have to be this woman who provoked such overwhelmingly strong feelings in him?

  Would he ever be able to get over her?

  Did he want to?

  Opening his eyes again, David found it was still bright enough outside to make him blink. It would be light for maybe another hour but the sun was low enough to be casting a rosy tinge of sunset on everything, making it look warmer. Softer. Very, very inviting. And Anne was central to that scene.

  She was totally intent on her task. She wouldn’t have been able to see him standing here, staring at her, anyway, with the sun reflecting off the windows so there was no reason for her to have been distracted. Or for David to move. He could indulge himself for a minute or two and watch her easing tiny plants from a container, cradling each one in her hands before setting it into a hole she had already made in the freshly turned soil. He could see the care she took in positioning them and then pressing earth gently around each new plant.

  She’d obviously been out there for some time. The whole border was dotted with small, fragile-looking green clumps. Her arms and face were streaked with dirt and he saw why when she pushed wayward tendrils of hair back from her face before reaching for another plant.

  Maybe she was so absorbed with what she was doing that she had simply lost track of the time. She needed to stop. To eat and rest. Unaware of his decisive nod, David headed for the door.

  The ache in her back intensified as Anne finally stood up to drop the last, empty punnet into the wheelbarrow. She arched
backwards, her hands on her hips to dig her fingers into the spot that hurt, and then she straightened, letting her breath out slowly.

  A contented sigh.

  She was tired, yes, and her back was a bit sore, but apart from that she was feeling great. Fantastic, even. The satisfaction she was getting out of the creative enterprise of the last few weeks was something new and extraordinary. She couldn’t wait to show David what she’d accomplished today and share the vision of what it was going to look like in a season or two.

  Not that either of them would see the finished picture.

  Anne pushed the negative thought aside. How stupid would it be to spoil how good she was feeling right now? Walking towards the nearby tap that had the hose coiled over it was enough to flip the direction of her mood. She dragged in a lungful of the fresh air and noted the spring in her step. She was, possibly, more physically fit than she’d ever been thanks to all the fresh air and exercise in the garden. Hard to believe it was only coming up to a month since she’d given birth to the twins. She’d never expected to recover this quickly, although her back was reminding her that her abdominal muscles still needed a bit more time.

  Excess weight was dropping off fast too and that thought made Anne realise how hungry she was. As soon as she’d watered in the new plants she would go inside and start dinner. Having left her watch off, she could only guess at the time but daylight was definitely fading now.

  Why wasn’t David home yet?

  The niggle of concern increased as Anne uncoiled the hose and turned the tap on. It made her turn her head as she pulled the hose towards the garden and it was then she saw him emerge from the house. He had unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt and was rolling up his sleeves. His tie was gone and the collar was also unbuttoned. His long legs covered the lawn in easy strides and as he got closer Anne could see he was smiling. It was a picture of a man happy to be where he was and doing what he doing.

  Something warm curled inside Anne and made her forget any weariness or sore muscles as she smiled back. Had she really thought she was feeling great after that stretch?

  She’d been wrong.

  This was what feeling great was.

  Watching David walk towards her. Feeling like everything was right in the world again. Feeling like she’d arrived home.

  Which was stupid. It was David who was arriving home. She didn’t really belong here and she wouldn’t be here for very much longer. Her smile fading, Anne twisted the nozzle of the hose to send a stronger spray to reach the back of the border.

  ‘Hi,’ she called over her shoulder. ‘How was work?’

  ‘Flat out.’ David stopped beside her and a quick glance showed Anne the glow of sunset on his bare arms as he finished rolling up a sleeve. His hands seemed to glow as well. She’d always loved David’s hands. Those long fingers. The mix of strength and cleverness. The ability they had to touch so gently…

  She dragged her gaze away. ‘Anything interesting?’

  ‘Heaps. I’ll tell you all about it over dinner. Speaking of which, have you got any idea of the time?’

  ‘Not really.’ Right now, Anne couldn’t think of anything other than David’s presence beside her. The huge garden around them seemed to have shrunk. Or vanished. It was like a bubble had formed that enclosed herself and this man and there wasn’t quite enough air inside it to make breathing easy. Not when that kiss that had been hanging between them had got trapped in the bubble as well. She took a sideways step and pretended to concentrate on where she was directing the water. ‘Nick went home a while ago,’ she added. ‘And he did say something about it being “food o’clock”.’

  ‘How long have you been out here?’

  ‘Since lunch.’

  ‘Good grief! You must be exhausted.’

  She could feel him looking at her. Taking in her dirty shorts and mud-caked knees. Her hair hadn’t seen a brush in way too long either and Anne was suddenly too aware of how scruffy she must look. She didn’t do scruffy. Never had. It made her feel out of control somehow. Vulnerable.

  ‘We’ve got heaps done.’ She reached for a verbal anchor. Security. ‘I got this border sorted and Nick attacked the hedges again. He found a gap that had grown over.’ Anne turned sideways, still gripping the hose. ‘It leads to a bit that I didn’t even know was there. It’s round.’

  ‘What is? The gap?’

  ‘No. The bit behind it. It used to be a lawn. Nick cut the grass and got rid of some old compost bins and started on the inside of the hedges and it was then we could see how round it was.’

  David had walked around her to the end of the border and then he stopped and stood very still. ‘I’d forgotten it was even here.’

  ‘It was overgrown to the point of vanishing. Or was it a secret garden?’

  ‘No…’ David seemed lost in thought. ‘It was…a pond.’

  ‘Really?’ Forgetting about that dangerous bubble, Anne went to stand beside him, the stream of the hose leaving the garden and pointing to the grass beside her feet.

  ‘It got filled in. It was after Dad died and I think something went wrong with the plumbing and the water drained off and the fish died and Mum didn’t have the heart to sort it out. Said she didn’t want a pond any more.’

  ‘Oh…’ Anne could imagine a water feature tucked away in the quiet, hedge-lined circle. The image was enticing. So enticing she forgot she was even holding the hose until David let out a yelp.

  ‘Oi! My feet don’t need watering.’

  ‘Oh, sorry.’ Anne tried to turn the hose off but twisted the nozzle in the wrong direction. The jet became a thin line and, to her dismay, it created a hole in the turf, which began to lift. ‘Oh, help! I’m ruining the lawn now.’

  ‘Here.’ David took the hose from her hands but instead of turning it off he kept it pointing to the same spot. ‘Look at that.’

  Anne looked. The turf was lifting in a larger piece now.

  ‘It’s a paving stone, see?’

  ‘Kind of, I guess.’

  David was staring through the gap in the hedge again. He looked back at his feet and then over his shoulder, at the wheelbarrow full of empty plant containers and garden tools.

  Moving swiftly, he turned off and abandoned the hose, picking up a spade. With a few decisive sweeps he scraped the turf clear to reveal a large, natural stone paving slab.

  ‘There was a path,’ he told Anne, his words tumbling out swiftly. ‘And the pond was built of the same kind of stone. There were waterlilies and goldfish and…and it was…just lovely.’

  He was looking at her and something in his face made her heart squeeze so hard it was painful. Something poignant. Like loss. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and offer comfort.

  Instead, she found herself offering words. ‘We could bring it back,’ she said softly. ‘Make it lovely again.’

  There was something else in David’s face now. Something that looked like surprise that the possibility might exist. And then hope. And then gratitude for her having thought of it.

  It looked a lot like…love.

  Maybe it was a trick of the fading light. Anne turned away hurriedly before she could think she saw something that might make her say or do something they might both regret.

  David was still staring at her. The tension was unbearable. The bubble was back. So was that kiss. She was getting sucked in. Trapped. If she didn’t step out now, she wouldn’t be able to.

  ‘I’ll…um…get Nick to have a poke around tomorrow, shall I?’

  The tension went up a notch but David said nothing. Instead, he seemed to channel the tension into action. He dug his spade into the soil again and Anne heard the clunk of metal striking stone. He walked on a step and repeated the action. Again and again, until the spade made no sound. By now they were well inside the hedge circle and Anne hadn’t even noticed she had been following.

  ‘This is it,’ David announced. ‘The edge of the pond. I’m pretty sure it was lined with stone as well.’ He dug out a spadef
ul of earth and threw it to one side.

  ‘You’re not really dressed for digging,’ Anne pointed out.

  ‘I don’t care. I want to see if I’m right. This is…’ David was grinning. Looking so happy Anne had to grin back at him.

  ‘Archeology?’ she suggested. She was catching something here. The joy of discovery perhaps. The excitement of finding something that had been lost.

  ‘It’s amazing.’ David nodded. ‘Like I’m unearthing a bit of my childhood I’d completely forgotten.’

  ‘It’s going to get dark soon.’

  ‘This won’t take long.’

  ‘There’s another spade. I’ll help.’

  ‘You shouldn’t be doing heavy stuff like this.’

  ‘I’m fine, David. Never better.’

  ‘Well…if you’re sure. Just for a bit.’

  Dusk faded slowly enough for that bit of time to stretch. They worked until it was too dark to really see the stone being uncovered and then carried on, being guided by the sound of their tools scraping the solid stone.

  David had rolled his trousers up but his shirt was streaked with mud and his shoes would never be the same.

  ‘Look at you,’ Anne said laughingly at last. ‘You’re absolutely filthy.’

  David nodded ruefully. ‘And I’m starving.’

  ‘Me too.’

  David jammed the spade into the impressive mound of earth they’d created. He looked at the shadowy outline of the old pond they’d revealed. ‘Whose silly idea was this?’

  ‘Yours.’ Anne was still smiling. ‘And it wasn’t silly. I love it.’ She stepped up from the spot that had had the most earth cleared and David held his hand out to take her spade.

  Why didn’t she let it go?

  If she had, she wouldn’t have been pulled so close to this mud-streaked, dishevelled, sweaty, happy man. She wouldn’t have been inside that bubble again and it wouldn’t have had the chance to shrink around them like a skin, moulding them into one entity.