The Marry-Me Wish

by Alison Roberts

  ‘Come and visit us soon,’ she told him.

  ‘Maybe.’ The word was noncommittal. ‘I’m going to be pretty busy. I don’t want to let anyone down even if it is the last weeks of my locum. And I’ve got my work cut out for me if I want to get the house sold before I leave the country.’

  And with no more than a nod at Anne, David was gone. As the taxi pulled out of the driveway, she saw the lights of the entranceway cut off as he closed the front door of his home behind him.

  For the next ten days Anne’s life was taken over by helping to care for the twins and keeping Julia’s spirits up. There was the cooking and shopping and housework to take care of and a lot of time was spent travelling to and from hospital visits.

  Being this busy was a blessing, however. Anne didn’t have time to agonise over what had happened between herself and David and when she did finally fall into bed at night, she was too exhausted to do anything other than sleep.

  Curiously, there was a peacefulness to be found amongst the hectic routine and that was the knowledge that she could help mother these babies and love them but they were not hers. She was able to live with them and care for them the same way she’d cared for her baby sister so many years ago. Recognising that, and remembering the power of the bond her body had shown her after giving birth, she had a glimpse of what it would be like to have her own child. One conceived in love, preferably with the father by her side.

  Had she given away the only chance she might have to experience that? Chosen her career instead? It hadn’t felt like a conscious choice at the time. She’d been doing her duty. The way she had all her life. Doing the right thing and earning points that would one day allow her to make her own choices.

  This was supposed to be her time right now, wasn’t it? And here she was doing her duty again and putting her own life on hold. She was living with the babies she’d given birth to. She was in a state of domesticity right up to her eyeballs. Dealing with bottles and nappies and crying babies. She wasn’t getting enough sleep and it was just as stressful as she’d known it would be.

  And she didn’t want to be doing anything else.

  How weird was that?

  She hadn’t seen David. The least she could give him was the space he’d requested. When they took the babies in to visit Mac, they would take the double push-chair with them and Anne would take the twins for a walk to give Julia some time alone with her husband. She would take them out the back of the hospital if the weather was nice and walk near the river. Well away from the emergency department and any chance of running into David.

  It was hard enough to know that he came to visit Mac so often and that his news had been passed on until Julia had warned him that he was treading on painful ground. By then she already knew that David was looking forward to heading for London and that the marketing of his house was creating an enormous amount of interest. The agents were confident that the upcoming auction would be a huge success.

  Mac did need a second operation on his ankle and by the following week the strain of the frequent visits were starting to show. It was a long drive, with difficult patches over the hills and winding around the bays.

  ‘We’ve got to shift closer to town,’ Julia said on one occasion, as they carried a pair of tired and hungry babies back into the house. ‘We’ve been talking about it off and on since Mac went back to work after his paternity leave.’

  ‘But you love this house. How could you sacrifice a view like this?’

  ‘Family’s more important,’ Julia said quietly, lifting Angus from his car seat and kissing him. ‘We knew Mac was losing family time with all the commuting and that we’d want to be closer to good schools and things when the twins were older. This accident has changed things. We talked about it today. The time we get together is just too precious to waste.’

  Anne had picked Amy up. As comfortable with her aunt now as she was with her parents, Amy stopped grizzling and grinned. Anne smiled back, looked up to share the moment with Julia and found that her sister was watching her with an odd expression on her face.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘Doesn’t look like nothing.’

  ‘I was just thinking, that’s all. About priorities.’

  ‘You mean do we change wet pants or make some formula first?’

  Julia smiled. ‘I was looking at a bigger picture. Thinking about how priorities change. That you can think you want something so much nothing else matters but then it changes. It doesn’t have to get lost, it just gets…demoted, I guess.’

  ‘You’re talking about this house. The views, right? Demotion from an island in the harbour to a park in the city, yes?’

  ‘Yeah…right.’ But Julia’s tone suggested that Anne was missing the point. That Julia had somehow overtaken her older sister in wisdom.

  Maybe she had. Priorities were certainly getting juggled a little for Anne.

  The planned month-long visit to the specialist paediatric hospital in Sydney was looming closer by the day but the desire to take advantage of the opportunity was fading at an even faster rate.

  Finally, Anne sent an email. ‘I’m sorry,’ she wrote, ‘but, due to family circumstances, I’m no longer able to take this time away.’

  Julia was shocked. ‘But you’ve been looking forward to this for so long. It was all part of the plan after the babies were born.’

  ‘You said it yourself,’ Anne responded quietly. ‘Priorities change. You need me right now.’

  ‘Mac’s coming home soon. We could cope.’

  ‘I know you could but I want to help. This is where I need to be right now. Maybe I need you more than you need me.’

  ‘Oh, hon.’ Julia gathered her sister into her arms. ‘I’m so sorry things haven’t worked out for you and David. I wish there was something I could do.’

  ‘Make me a coffee.’ Anne smiled, blinking away tears. ‘No…make that tea. I’ve gone right off coffee for the moment.’ She pulled back and then did a double-take at her sister’s expression. ‘What?’

  ‘That’s exactly what you said just before you did your pregnancy test, remember?’

  Anne laughed. ‘I’m not pregnant again. It’s not remotely possible. I’m not even ovulating again yet.’

  ‘How do you know? Some women do it within a couple of weeks of giving birth.’

  ‘I haven’t had a period yet, that’s how I know.’

  Julia was giving her a very strange look. ‘Well, you wouldn’t, would you? If you were pregnant…’

  Anne gave another amused snort. ‘I’m not. Two babies is enough in this family. We decided against even the possibility of three way back at the implantation, remember?’

  Julia reached for the kettle. ‘I’m sure you’re right. Just as well, eh? A baby of your own would be the last thing you want right now.’

  ‘Mmm.’ But Anne was staring through the window, not seeing the fabulous view of the harbour that Julia was prepared to give up for more important things. She was seeing a very different picture. A much bigger one.

  ‘An iconic house,’ the voice announced. ‘A piece of our city’s heritage that has been meticulously restored to its original glory. A real family home.’

  From his upstairs bedroom window, David could look down onto the crowded lawn where the auction for this property was taking place on site. There had to be close to two hundred people here, he decided. Prospective buyers and curious onlookers. Agents who were flanking clients or had mobile phones pressed to their ears—in communication with more than one absent bidder who had registered their interest.

  Strangers, all of them.

  ‘Imagine entertaining in the glorious drawing room behind me,’ the auctioneer continued. ‘Looking out on this fabulous vista.’

  David snorted, closing his eyes.

  Impossible not to think of Anne. The way her eyes had danced with mischief when she’d been telling him the plans those landscape architects had had in mind for his garden.

 
; ‘Spheres,’ she’d said, amusement vying with primness.

  ‘Balls,’ he had countered.

  He’d made her laugh and the sound had repaired a thread of connection between them.

  The auctioneer had finally finished hyping up the crowd. ‘Who wants to start the bidding?’ he called.

  David crossed the room to sit on the edge of his bed. He took a deep breath in through his nose but that was a mistake. Despite her absence and changing the linen more than once, he was sure he could still catch a hint of Anne’s scent here. Not perfume. The scent of Anne. The one he’d filled his senses with that day on the beach when he’d kissed her for the first time in so long. He remembered the feeling of being poised on the edge of a cliff. In danger of falling into a crevasse he’d only just clawed his way clear of. He remembered feeling relieved when Anne had backed away.

  Had he really thought he was still in control? That he could save himself from the kind of pain he was feeling now? He should have known he was lost when he’d gone home that day and thought she’d left. The flash of fear should have stopped him in his tracks but, no, he’d hurtled headlong into her arms pretty much, hadn’t he?

  Well, he had when he’d seen the way she’d looked at him when he’d told her about the pond. The way she had offered to help him retrieve something he’d lost long ago but still cared about.

  He would have sworn he’d been able to see love in that look.

  The kind of love he’d ached for.

  But it had been doomed to failure. He should have known that. He did know it. Even if he gave up the dream of ever having a family, he would have to play second fiddle to Anne’s career. There would be time after time when some emergency would take precedence. Like young Daniel that day, who’d fortunately come through the crisis and was apparently happily recuperating in the children’s ward now.

  He might have thought he was willing to accept whatever crumbs of time were available with the juggling of two high-powered careers but it would be unfair on both of them to try. It was way too obvious where it would lead eventually. There would be resentment and guilt to begin with. And then they would drift apart, intent on their own paths through life. Without a family, the kind of glue that would make compromise a necessity would be missing.

  Maybe he could make it work if he wanted it badly enough but Anne would have to want it just as much. Maybe he was just as much of an all-or-nothing personality as she was. But the ‘all’ he wanted was in his relationship. An equal commitment. To love and be loved in equal measure.

  Was it really too much to ask?

  Judging by the way Anne seemed to have been avoiding him ever since Mac’s accident, apparently so.

  The bidding from the crowd outside was heating up. Jumping higher in increments at such a speed David hadn’t noticing it passing the reserve he’d set before the auction had commenced.

  ‘Folks…we are on the market,’ the auctioneer boomed. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, who is going to be the lucky family to enjoy this paradise with its country charm in the middle of city convenience? Who will have the pleasure of raising their children here? Or taking their grandchildren for a stroll to feed the fish in that fabulous pond?’

  This shouldn’t be happening. David shoved his fingers through his hair and then buried his face in his hands with a groan. He was cutting himself off from Anne. From their past. From his own childhood, even. He had no one to blame but himself. He was as selfish as he’d once accused Anne of being. Just as black and white. He’d told her she was incapable of compromise but had he ever actually tried to set a real example?

  ‘Sold!’ boomed a triumphant sound through the speaker system set up on the lawn. The sound of a gavel hitting the podium punctuated the finale.

  Oh…God!

  David’s head snapped up. What had he done?

  What had he been thinking?

  ‘No!’ the word was uttered aloud and it was final. David got to his feet and strode out of the room.

  ‘I’m not going to sell,’ David told the startled group of real-estate personnel gathering in his hallway.

  ‘But you already have,’ the auctioneer insisted. ‘It’s a legal process, Dr Earnshaw. We have the new owner in the dining room, waiting to sign the contract.’

  ‘I won’t sign,’ David said stubbornly.

  ‘But why not?’ The atmosphere of triumph around him was ebbing. Becoming alarmed. ‘The price was more than any of us hoped for.’

  ‘I’ve changed my mind,’ David told him. ‘Some things are far more important than money.’

  ‘What kind of things?’

  David’s head turned at the sound of a feminine voice he knew so well.

  ‘Annie…what are you doing here?’

  ‘I came to watch the auction.’ She edged through a gap in the group. ‘It was a great price. Aren’t you happy?’

  ‘No.’ David took a step closer to her. ‘I’m not selling. This place represents my past. I want it to be part of my future as well.’ He turned to glare at the auctioneer. ‘You can say all you want about this being such a family home. About swings for children under the elm tree or grandchildren feeding the fish, but you know what?’

  ‘What?’ The auctioneer was eyeing him warily.

  ‘It’s not the number of people that make a family. It’s about what holds them together. It’s about love.’

  ‘Of course it is.’ An agent exchanged a meaningful look with the auctioneer and stepped forward. She had a sheaf of papers in her hand. Probably the sale-and-purchase agreement David was expected to sign. ‘The new owners will love this property, I promise you.’

  David ignored her. He turned back to Anne.

  ‘I told you we were chasing the sun,’ he said. ‘And we got burned. I was going about it all wrong. You don’t need to chase it. You just need to find a space where you can feel the warmth and see the light. I thought I had to shut myself away to keep safe but who wants to live in the dark?’

  ‘Not me,’ Anne said obligingly. The people around them were looking bemused but they shook their heads in agreement as well.

  ‘I love you, Annie,’ David said. ‘I don’t want to live without you. I don’t care how big our family is. It’s you I need.’ He held out his hand. ‘You’re my sun. My warmth. My light.’

  ‘Oh…David…’ Anne had tears on her cheeks. ‘That’s all I ever needed to hear you say. I love you, too.’

  ‘We’ll work it out,’ David promised, holding her close and kissing her.

  ‘Of course you will,’ said the auctioneer with a curiously gruff voice.

  ‘We will,’ Anne told him.

  ‘I just need to sort out this mess first,’ David groaned.

  ‘What mess?’

  ‘I’ll have to find the person who thinks they’re buying our home. I need to explain why they can’t.’

  ‘You just did.’

  David blinked. He frowned at the auctioneer, who’d just spoken, and then looked to Anne’s face smiling up at him. He was vaguely aware that everyone around them was also smiling. Grinning, even.

  ‘You?’ He blinked again. ‘You bought it?’

  Anne nodded.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘It’s a family home and…I want a family, David. With you.’

  ‘But…’

  ‘I was wrong. I thought I knew what I wanted but there I was, finally staring at what I thought was what I wanted, and it didn’t look right. It looked empty. Like it was missing something really, really important.’

  ‘Warmth?’ David suggested softly. ‘Light?’

  ‘Heart,’ Anne answered, standing on tiptoe to kiss David again. ‘My heart. And you know why it wasn’t there?’

  ‘No. Why?’

  ‘Because you have it.’

  ‘And you have mine.’ David managed to tear his gaze away from her for long enough to give their audience a firm stare. ‘Would you all mind going away?’ he asked politely. ‘A man could do with a little privacy when he’s about to propos
e.’

  Anne watched everybody walking out of the hallway. She saw the auctioneer pull an enormous white handkerchief from his pocket and blow his nose with gusto.

  She knew how he felt. Happy endings tended to have the same effect on her.

  Except this wasn’t an ending.

  It was a beginning. For both of them. No, for all of them. Anne caught her breath. Should she tell David now that his dream of a family of his own was much closer than he could imagine?

  He was about to propose. Too impatient to wait for everyone to clear the hallway completely, he had taken her hands and pulled her through the nearest doorway, which led into the biggest living area. He was looking down at her with such love in his face that Anne was lost. All she could do was bask in that love and wait for the chance to say ‘yes’.

  That she would marry him. Live with him and love him for the rest of her life.

  There would be plenty of time to share the news of the baby. To make plans that would make it work for them all.

  She’d been right after all. This was her time. Her chance to do exactly what she wanted most in her life.

  ‘Yes,’ she whispered.

  ‘Oi!’ David’s tone was stern. ‘I haven’t asked yet.’

  Anne smiled. ‘Are you going to do the down-on-one-knee thing?’

  ‘Good grief! Do you want me to?’

  Her smile widened. ‘Someone might appreciate it.’

  David took his eyes off her for the first time since he’d brought her in here. He turned his head and realised where they were. Right in front of all the windows and French doors that led to the terrace and the lawn beyond. Some of the crowd had gone but there were still a lot of people out there and someone must have told them what was going on because they were all standing there quietly.

  Watching. And smiling.

  David grinned and went down on one knee. ‘I love you, Anne Bennett,’ he said. ‘Will you marry me? Please?’

  ‘Yes,’ Anne said. And then, more loudly, in case her soft response hadn’t been heard through the open doors, ‘Yes.’