by Angela Ardis
See Ya in
Fantasy #2 Boo!
NEXT STOP
Okay that’s all 4 this trip. I got another favor and I hope u do this 4 me it’s slightly crazy! Okay here’s my favor. At midnite each nite until u see me touch yourself and whisper my name 20 times. PLEASE ANGELA? Would U Do that 4 me? I don’t care whose next 2 u BLOCK them out and let me have some every night Just give me 20 strokes and calls and I’ll do the same. In time it will be real and those will be 20 of the sweetest most heartfelt intense strokes in the history of lovemaking. So please “friend” Do that 4 me. Don’t go all fast I want 20 slow meaningful strokes then u can go back 2 the dud next 2 u. He can’t compare 2 this shit we got. C ya tonight at midnite Lover!
PASSIONATELY
2PAC (SIGNED)
Pac,
I am taken by your confidence; your knowingness of a woman’s mind, body, and yearnings; your ability to seduce with letters that form your words that develop into sentences that create your lovely paragraphs and stories and poetry. (What a mouthful!!!! ) My roommate and I think you should teach a class to all the men of the world and let them know that it’s okay to be sensitive, emotional, romantic, and passionate. It’s okay! Tell the men in the prison that it’s okay!!! Scream it from your cell. It’s okay!!!! I’m trippin’, right?
I wanted to let you know that I appreciate your straightforwardness. I used to question whether or not your being in prison was the reason for your honesty and directness, but I feel that questioning your personality because of where you are is not fair to our thang. I am trusting that your words are real and that your emotions are yours, regardless of the confinement. I have emotions for you, too, and I’ve never met you either. I think about you constantly, dream of you, daydream about us, wish, fantasize, and wonder about a lot of things pertaining to you and me. Hell, at the beginning of this unorthodox relationship I had us married before I’d even received your first letter. Funny, right? Yeah, I know. It’s a female thing. But hey, everyone fantasizes. It’s only human.
I’m sending you a poem that will answer your request about midnight. Not a problem. Keep your head up, Pac. Everything is going to work out. Just know that there is a plan for you, and patience is needed on your part to see it through. I got your back, Boo!
“Keep ya head up!” .
Forever,
Angela
My Promise to You
(Written exclusively for Tupac Shakur by Angela Ardis)
Once upon a time I made a promise to you
At midnight there was something you asked me to do
To myself, with you in mind, I see stars shining bright
Then my eyes I do close in the darkness of night . . .
My breathing is calm as your face appears above me
My body is positioned just how you want it to be
You lower your body and kiss me gently on the lips
You take a soft pillow and elevate my hips . . .
I can feel your hands as they find a path up my thighs
In the darkness of night I let out several sighs
Of passion and lust as your fingers rest on my mound
And from a distance I can hear a humming sound . . .
My vibrator as your tongue or your fingers or both
It goes down past my mound with 20 slow strokes
One . . . my head turns with the slowest of ease
Two . . . my muscles begin to slowly squeeze
Three . . . my mouth parts as his name slips out
Four . . . I begin to sensually squirm about
Five . . . my breathing is louder and a small grin appears
Six . . . I can see him above me I can see him quite clear
Seven . . . my other hand rests on my chest
Eight . . . my vibrator is doing what it does best
Nine . . . my body moves with a rhythmic beat
Ten . . . I’m feeling chills from my head to me feet
Eleven . . . my nipples are hard as I caress them in my hand
Twelve . . . my head raises up and on the pillow it will land
Thirteen . . . my hand slides down and parts my two lips
Fourteen . . . my vibrator’s moving to the motion of my hips
Fifteen . . . my moans and groans are quite intense
Sixteen . . . my body locks up with suspense
Seventeen . . . my breathing is erratic as sweat begins to form
Eighteen . . . my temperature has risen it has gotten quite warm
Nineteen . . . I’m screaming, Don’t stop! Don’t stop!
Twenty . . . Oh God! Tupac . . . Tupac . . . Tupac . . . Tupac . . .
Tupac . . . Tupac . . . Tupac . . . Tupac . . . Tupac . . . Tupac . . . Tupac . . . Tupac. . .
Tupac . . . Tupac . . . Tupac . . . Tupac . . . Tupac . . . Tupac . . . Tupac . . . Tupac. . .
We were somewhere else, in a place that no one else had ever been able to take me to before, and I was enjoying every minute of it!
Chapter 14
ANTICIPATION
Dearest Angela.
I just received your letter! Thanx Boo 4 being so understanding that makes this relationship that much more special 2 me. Every word u wrote was felt deeply. Thanx baby! That showed just how much of a woman U R! Now did I tell you how much I enjoyed the pictures? I didn’t huh. Well check it I LOVED THE PICTURES! All of ’em the sexiest shots were the baby pictures. Oh child U had it going on from birth make a nigga wanna meet ya daddy! Basically as long as we keep the honesty between us U and I we’ll be fine, even better than fine! I’m looking forward 2 seeing U soon! I hope by now U received my letter (package) I’ll be sending a follow-up real soon. This letter was specifically 4 U 2 know how much I appreciated your response 2 my letter. How impressed I was by your unconditional friendship. Like I said get through this and can’t nothing fuck with our thang! Ms. Lovely!
ONE LOVE
BOO!
2PAC (Signed)
2 NIGHT
Tonight I search the skiez
In hopes 2 find a star
A promise made from far away
2 locate where U R
A comfort zone when you’re alone
No other man will find
They taste the fruitz of paradise
But fail 2 feed your mind
Tonight I search the skiez to find
My agony won’t hide
Within my deepest thoughts I cry
These tearz of lonely timez
Whatever will become of us
I wonder to the moon
Will I be blessed at last possess
The pleasure found with U
Unique & rare so hard 2 find
Someone 2 trust 4 life
Foreplay is a must 4 us plus I’ll fuck U right
Don’t blush from wordz of truth
Ask yourself “Is he 4 real”?
Free 2 search my soul & heart now tell me if U feel me
4 Angela! 2PAC
WHEN GEMINIZ COLLIDE!
The moon iz full the starz so bright
The heavens fill with pride
When thoughts connect hearts exchanged
And geminiz collide
The most criminal of men surrender 2 sin
And change their lives from liez
When they embrace their destined fate
As geminis collide
No longer alone subject 2 pain
The victim in us died
At last we kiss and then witness
When geminiz collide!
4 Angela
By 2PAC (Signed)
Tupac,
I loved your poems. You know I did. I’m a little under the weather today, and I left work because of it. I was feeling a little nauseated and faint, and I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what the problem was. I thought maybe I had had too much coffee this morning. Well, after throwing everything around and coming up with absolutely nothing, I told my boss that I had to go home and I left.
> Weeeeeeeellllllll, as I drove home, I started to get more sick, but I didn’t have to throw up. Then I began thinking and realized that I hadn’t taken a dump in at least four days. Imagine that. I’m sick because I’m full of shit. So I came home and put a Ducolax in my body, and now I’m waiting for it to take effect. That’s a lot of information, isn’t it? (Haaaaaaaaaa!)
You know, I’ve been thinking about our letters, and I just don’t want you to get out of there and, if we decide to take it to an intimate level, come and run through me. That wouldn’t make me smile, but I guess that’s something that we have control over. I guess. Oh . . . oh . . . uh oh . . . hold on . . .
I’m back. Wheeeeewwwwww!I feel much better now. My laxative finally kicked in, and man, what a relief that was. I’m glad you’re not here to smell the madness that erupted in my bathroom!! (Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!) That’s nasty, isn’t it? I know, I can’t help myself sometimes. But I’ll have you know that I did take a shower and washed my body, so I’m not sitting here writing you with a stinky tooshy. (Haaaaaaaaaaa!) I crack myself up. Okay now, where were we ?
Oh, my mother likes the song “Dear Mama.” Of course she would, right? She’s coming around with this whole me-coming-to-visit-you thing. She’ll be fine. Everything will be fine.
I can’t wait to meet you and take this off paper. You feel me?
I found this stuff on love between Geminis:
This relationship will put you in paradise or be a total disaster. You’ll get that strange feeling on being introduced for the first time that you’ve met before. Miss Gemini will certainly reflect a lot of what is going on in your head. When you two are together, you’ll never be at a loss for words. You both like to flit about and hate the idea of being hemmed in. So long as you enjoy wandering together, all will be well. Romance with this woman born under the same sign as you is likely to be passionate. You should have a pretty good idea of her sexual needs and desires. You are both imaginative so your bedroom scenes will never become a bore. She’ll appreciate your aims and desires because she feels the same urges. Gemini men very often form platonic friendships with Gemini women. You have no difficulty getting along as long as there’s no emotional element.
I have already told you that I feel like I’ve known you for years. It’s crazy, but hey! Such is life. Stay strong, Pac. This too shall pass.
Forever,
Angela
Extreme Dream
(Written exclusively for Tupac from Angela)
I woke up one day and had a realization that I couldn’t believe
It didn’t seem possible, all-be-it real, it was hard to conceive
I flipped it around in my head knowing it couldn’t be what it seemed
So I chalked it up, tossed it out, and labeled it an Extreme Dream
But then the voice was heard, then the letter, and soon I’ll see
The man in my dreams will be standing before me
I can’t blink my eyes, pinch my arm, or slap myself to wake up
Fruition, culmination, fulfillment, final result won’t be abrupt
You’re invading my dreams, suspended throughout my day
You’ve taking over my hands as letters float your way
You’ve got my mind wrapped in nothing but thoughts of you
Anticipations, expectations, probabilities about what to do
But until we meet standing still in time
I will continue to inhale you erasing any lines
Inhibitions, reticence, the shyness that won’t be seen
I’ll lay back finding comfort in my Extreme Dreams
The night air was full and warm. The flickering of the candle was even and steady, letting off an aroma that filled our screened-in porch. Tan and I had decided that tonight was our “girl time.” Wine coolers chilled in the ice chest, empty Chinese food boxes covered the table that separated our lounge chairs, and Mary J. Blige crooned “You Gotta Believe” through the night air.
“What do you think it’s going to be like when you’re finally face to face?” Tan asked.
I opened my eyes and found a star gazing down at me. “I don’t know.”
“That’s the star I sent you every night,” Tupac said, pointing info the sky.
“How do you know it was that star, Pac?” I asked.
“Look at it,” he said, pointing. “It’s the biggest and the brightest. ” He smiled, taking another sip of his a champagne.
I lay on the blanket with my hands behind my head and just gazed at his silhouette, cast by the moon. He lay beside me, resting on one arm, holding his glass of champagne in the other hand. I stared at him while he watched the rise and fall of my midriff with each breath I took. He poured champagne on my stomach, and my stomach muscles contracted as I laughed. He descended, kissing and licking everywhere the champagne fell. We were out in the open. We were being spied on by the very stars we had wished on, said good night to, and hoped our mutual feelings were being transferred through. It was soothing. It felt like the entire world had stopped just to allow us to lay there, suspended in time, enjoying what we had fantasized for so many nights.
He made his way north to my neck, his hands covering the uncharted territory that he seemed so familiar with. He looked down at me and smiled.
“Ms. Lovely,” he said softly. “You want some more to drink?” he asked, raising the glass to his mouth, coming close to mine, then taking a swallow of the champagne. I reached for the glass. He pulled it away, shaking his head no.
“I’// give it to you, but you have to tell me that you want it. You want some more to drink?” he asked playfully, descending toward my lips.
“You want some more to drink?” Tan’s voice was barely audible, but it sounded like Tupac’s.
“Yes . . . yes, I want some . . . yes,” I said breathily, until I realized I was dreaming and—guess who ruined it again? Tanya slowly handed me another cooler.
“Girl, what were you dreaming about?” Tanya said, smiling. “I wish I had been there.”
I took a deep breath, found the brightest star, and smiled. It was midnight.
Chapter 15
HE TRULY NEEDED A HUG
April 3, 1995
Dear Angela,
I got ya letter and Ms. Lovely U are a fucking riot. I laughed my ass off! It is rare 2 hear a female so honest & open. I’m glad U feel so comfortable with me, as well U should. U have nothing to fear with me. The information on the Gemini love thang was highly insightful. Almost scary. How R U? Did U receive my letter & poem. Did U like it? I have all of your pictures up and each night I create another fantasy 2 encompass each one in time I hope to become reality. No love I won’t come home & run through U. That’s not my style. I am serious about us being friends and don’t doubt my intentions on that! As long as we keep it open & real with each other U and I have a future. Only dishonesty & greed can destruct this can u feel me? I can feel U strongly believe that! I wrote U 3 new poems. I hope U enjoy them. Know that U R in my heart & mind and that each day I feel U. Keep the faith, tell mom’s thanx 4 the understanding & support & I owe U a 5 star dinner remind me while we’re catching up on lost time 2 stop long enough 2 show U my culinary skills. If I’m in your system now wait til I cook then it’s all over you’ll want 2 get a tattoo and everything.
Eternal Friend
2PAC (signed)
TIME
Today we exchange promises
Tonight we pray their kept
In the morning we wake 2 face tomorrow
Anticipation on each breath
4 the moment we accept our situation
In the hopes they change in time
Heaven is love, hell is lonliness
Yet they both exist in our minds
Some say friends are overrated
Hard 2 find and quick 2 change
And even I believed this true
Until the day u came