Releasing Chaos

by Lexi Ander

  "He won't even know I'm there." Brian's voice lowered, becoming placating.

  Brian's calm only seemed to prod Tristan's anger. "You can't promise us that. I don't understand why you need to go. Did I say or do something… Have I done something to drive you away? Ushna was right when he said you've been standing on the sidelines. I don't know why or what I have to do to fix it."

  "Tristan." Brian crossed the distance between them and I followed with rising worry. Why did Tristan believe he was at fault for Brian's aloofness? After putting down the dragonet he held, Brian pulled Tristan to him. "No, no, no. You didn't do anything. I…"

  The two dragonets in Tristan's arm slipped away right before Brian caught Tristan up in a firm embrace. Tristan struggled, but only halfheartedly before he fisted the back of Brian's shirt.

  "Then make me understand why you want to go away, why you're putting yourself in danger when you know we need you. Why you'd risk us when we're so close." My heart twisted at Tristan's watery plea.

  "We three are responsible for freeing Tiamat's children. Not just you. If I go with the hunters and help them secret away the humans, then I can see up close what Marduk has at his disposal and not rely on secondhand intelligence. I have no doubt you'll have your hands full with Daniel and Inanna. Ushna and I will be the ones protecting your back from Marduk. I know it is dangerous, but me going with the hunters will take us one step closer to our goal of freeing Tiamat's children." Brian's voice bottomed out and he shuddered when Tristan made a wounded noise. "But you have to trust me to come back to you. Tiamat wouldn't have given us this task if she thought we'd fail. Have some faith in me."

  An old wound twisted in my chest as I remembered finding Brian, crumpled on the forest floor with a bullet wound to his head. We'd only been pups, running in our new wolf forms, reveling in the gifts of life when Brian had been taken from me, from us, not so long ago. He was no longer a boy, but a man with all the memories of his past lives to guide him… and I was as terrified as Tristan. Because even after all the time that had passed, I could still smell his blood as it cooled among the fallen leaves. I'd sensed his body no longer held his flame when I tapped him with my paws, trying to wake him. In my dreams I was still the little pup who howled over Brian's cooling body. I didn't think I could stand losing him again, but he was correct. We needed to trust him. No matter how much we wanted to, we couldn't shelter Brian from danger.

  One of Brian's arms slipped around my waist. "I apologize if you and Ushna feel I've been distant. It's not something I do on purpose. We've spent so many lifetimes struggling to be together, only to be split up again." Brian's voice rasped as if he barely held overwhelming emotions at bay. "Until Inanna has been taken care of, and her threat eliminated, I can't let my guard down. Not now. Not when we are so close to being safe. Finally, safe enough to live our lives as we should have from the beginning, and explore each other as we've been denied for far too long."

  It seemed we carried our own worries and fears when it came to each other's safety. Ladon licked my ear, and pushed an image at me of the dragonets safeguarding Brian.

  "If you're going, then I'll add a couple more people to your team." Tristan's tone clearly stated he'd brook no argument from Brian, and for once, Brian didn't push.

  "Whatever you say," he replied, and Tristan gave an ugly snort.

  With the new transformation, I'd gained a new instinct to cleanse the negative vibrations from us: panic, fury, anxiety. The first time I'd done so was during sex. Brian and Tristan needed a little healing now, and I wasn't sure how I'd accomplished the feat before, or even if I could without sexual contact. As if reading my thoughts, Ladon nudged me, sending me a picture. Suddenly, I understood. Following Ladon's guidance, I imagined gathering the emotions attached to the brittle scents of fear, worry, and anger. I pushed them through me into the ground where the magic of Sanctuary absorbed them. Both Tristan and Brian sighed at the same time, and relaxed against each other.

  Pressing a kiss onto Brian's temple, I squeezed Tristan's nape and then released them. Ladon wound down my body to the floor, snaking around my boots twice like a self-satisfied cat before scampering off. His bright yellow-green scales glinting with each sway of his rounded tummy. I would have been utterly enthralled with his cuteness if I didn't know how dangerous the little guy could be.

  A change in discussion was in order. "I want to check out the amphitheater to make sure we have a plan covering all possible scenarios. I know we're going to need a ton of luck, but I'd feel better doing something, otherwise the waiting will drive me crazy."

  "I agree. I'll go with you." Brian said. "Are you coming, Tristan?" We both backed away in the direction Corey had taken with the elders earlier.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Tristan Janick

  "In a minute. I want to check out something first. I'll meet you there."

  Ushna and Brian nodded, neither seemed keen on leaving me alone, but I gestured for them to go. Pretending to be calm, I watched them head to the south side of Sanctuary, shoulders brushing as they walked. The sight unraveled something within me. Ushna, the sneaky bastard, had somehow eased my apprehension. My emotions weren't as sharp and fiery now. His actions allowed me to take a breath, but even as I watched them, I wanted to rage like I'd never done before.

  Did my possessive temper come from my new dragon aspect? I could already hear Ushna snort and whisper no. I could be a hothead, but this anger boiling under the surface seemed new. Perhaps my attempts to keep myself in check since I'd been reborn was the cause of this festering ire. Old memories from my other lives convinced me to tread lightly. I'd given in to my temper before and the result curdled my stomach. Just thinking about the haunting images banked the fires rolling under my skin. I could—would—be a better man than the men reflected in my recollections.

  My hand shook as I wiped the sweat from my face. I reminded myself I had a plethora of memories of how efficiently Brian could take care of himself, and yet fear continued to antagonize me. We were so close to winning this centuries-long battle with Inanna, and if either Brian or Ushna… Tiamat help me; I'd lose my mind.

  After talking in length with Gregori about the prophecy, I kept returning to the last two lines: the breath of the dragon their shield, the eye of the snake at their back. At one time, I thought the serpents I used to carry on my chest filled the last part of the prophecy. Then my snakes were passed on to my children, content to stay with them. When Sanctuary came alive with sentient dragonets and serpents, I rethought my belief. Were the snakes who made this city their home the same creatures mentioned? Something in my gut said no, and I kept going back to the Ophidians. Wasn't ophidian another name for serpent? The members of the order carried the caduceus on their cheek under their eye. If the prophecy meant this ancient order would have our back, then who would be the eye? The Adon, of which both Bixx and Stan held the title?

  Decision made, I sent a Shadow Mover to bring Stan to me.

  Before Ushna and Brian were out of sight, Ushna threw his arm around Brian. Not too long ago I'd been terrified that if I claimed Ushna, I'd damage his bond to Brian. Yet here we were, the three of us together and bonded—and I was scared of being happy. Misinformation and lies had kept us apart. A crazy-ass Goddess and her equally insane lackey, Daniel, had come so close to putting an end to us once already. Which made Nathan's actions all the more devastating. I wished I knew why, understood what he was thinking when he reached out to Daniel and brokered an alliance. Did Daniel have something on Nate that he couldn't reveal? But his betrayal wasn't something I could afford to dwell on. I had to keep my eye on the ball and trust the people around me to handle Nate if he became a true threat.

  For now, while I waited for Stan, I needed to see to someone under my care. I headed in the opposite direction Ushna and Brian were going, to the building closest to the center of the city. More and more of the ruins were being uncovered and renewed. Soon Sanctuary would be almost as good as new—like Theo.
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  I rapped my knuckles on the doorframe. The archway was covered with a gauzy curtain, providing only a modicum of privacy. My name was said followed by a heavy sigh and I pushed past the material. Theo sat in a bulky chair stuffed with bright pillows. He was curled around one, his blond hair mussed and looking quite somber.

  "I wanted to check up on you and make sure everything was okay. How do you feel?" I stepped softly as I crossed the room. Last time I'd seen Theo, he'd healed Ushna. The depth of Ushna's mental wounds had caused Theo to burn up, leaving behind a large egg. The Shadow Movers I'd set to watch over Theo from afar had sent word when he hatched. Every rebirth ate away at his memories, and I worried about what he'd forgotten. He'd agreed to the arrangement in exchange for a new life, a new beginning. There were memories he no longer wanted… but he had children in my care. Would Tiamat's bargain erase them from his mind? His heart? I hoped not. Even with my experiences with Sumerian Gods and Goddesses, I didn't want to believe Tiamat would be so cruel. But only time would tell if he would be able to remember his children or not.

  "Tired, mostly. Is Ushna all right?" His brow furrowed in thought. "I don't remember why I needed to heal him, only that he desperately needed help."

  Smiling softly, I said, "He's fine, thanks to you."

  "I'm glad," Theo replied, still frowning.

  I knelt next to his chair. He seemed—fragile. As a wolf, Theo had been completely alpha male. His vulnerability pulled at all my protective instincts. I kept my voice soft. "What's wrong?"

  "I've forgotten some things, I think. Like how we met. You're supposed to be mad at me—hate me—but I can't remember why." His eyes met mine. "I remember Tiamat said the deep healings would eat up who I once was, but to actually have it happen scares me somewhat. Something tells me I deserved your anger. I mean, I can still recall my past lives and know I wasn't a good person. I guess I thought they'd be the first ones to go." He gave me a sad, lopsided smile.

  My heart squeezed at what he'd lost. I had to trust Tiamat knew what Theo needed and wouldn't have set him on this path that would cause him permanent harm. Pulling an envelope out of my pocket, I handed it to him. His expression moved from sadness to curiosity as he opened the letter and took out the contents. With suddenly trembling hands, he sorted through the pictures.

  "Do you know who they are?"

  Theo's blue eyes became shiny and liquid. "Of course I know them. They're my children."

  I almost slumped with relief. "Then you forgot nothing important." I clapped him on the knee and rose to my feet, crossing the room to leave.

  "You ignored my request." From the doorway, I glanced over my shoulder to see he held the photographs to his chest. His voice broke when he said, "Thank you."

  I nodded, hiding my satisfaction. "Any time."

  Ducking out into the open air, I took in a couple of deep breaths. Perhaps he wouldn't forget everything, just enough to allow him to learn to love himself, to leave his transgressions behind so he could start fresh. Maybe I was being overly optimistic but, well, that was what I hoped as I climbed back up the hill.

  When I glanced up the rise, a Shadow Mover stood next to Stan, pointing down at me. I quickened my steps, eager to speak with him.

  "I was told you were upset. What's wrong?" Stan's bronze skin gleamed with health and vitality. His dark eyes bored into mine, as if he were checking for himself my state of mind. The ever-present red cowl was looped about his neck, ready to be wrapped around his head to hide his short topknot and face. The iridescent black and white snakes entwined around each other on his cheek gleamed under the bright sun. Any Lycan who looked at him would know him to be an Ophidian.

  "Brian is leading the hunters on a mission into Marduk's territory, to his temple. I want you to go with him. Your only responsibility is to bring him back home alive. I'd prefer unharmed, but I know Brian too well. Will you do this for me?" I held my breath, but I should've known better than to worry about Stan's response.

  "Of course. Anything you need," he automatically replied, not even taking a moment to consider what I said or the danger he'd be heading into.

  The wave of relief washing over me weakened my knees, and I slumped against the nearest column. Stan gripped my shoulder and I looked up into his hard gaze, knowing I could show him this small bit of weakness. He wouldn't judge me. "I can't…" My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, stealing my words.

  "I'll make sure you won't." And I believed him.

  He lifted his eyes to gaze at something over my shoulder and I glanced back. Theo half-hid behind a nearby pillar, his eyes wide and slightly frightened as he stared at Stan. "Tristan, are you all right?" Afraid or not, his voice only held worry.

  Pushing away from the stone, I stood to my full height and gave him a smile I hoped would alleviate his concern. "I'm fine."

  After glancing between Stan and me a few times, Theo nodded before heading back to his hut.

  Stan scowled darkly. "Is that Theo Sullivan?"

  "Yes, and he's under my protection. He's not the same man as he was before. Get to know him first… again, before you pass judgement," I said softly. To soothe the sting of my words, I patted his hand where he gripped my shoulder.

  Stan sniffed the air, almost eagerly. "He doesn't smell like wolf."

  "He gave up his animal to be molded into something else. Actually, he gave up many things," I replied, carefully watching my friend. Many people didn't have good things to say about Theo. I resolved to do my best to shelter him from those who couldn't, or wouldn't, see him for who he was now. Would Stan be one of those who condemned Theo?

  Stan's eyelids fluttered closed as he inhaled deeper, longer. "There's something about his scent."

  Surprised, I glanced to where Theo had disappeared. Could Stan be the Twin Flame Theo was taken from? Tiamat said she'd dulled the call of the Flame so Theo's Bashert would come to know Theo first. Would Stan accept Theo even knowing what Theo had done when he was both a wolf and alpha?

  "Seriously, Tristan, I don't know if I can get used to seeing people who're supposed to be dead walking around alive again. Is this going to be an ongoing thing with you?" Stan gave a half-hearted laugh.

  I shrugged my shoulders when no answer came to me. "Theo's special." I explained to Stan how Inanna stole Theo's Flame from another to falsely bind to me. "He's just as much a victim of Inanna's plotting as we are. None of us are perfect, and we haven't always acted with good sense or honor." I glanced out of the corner of my eye to gauge if Stan understood my soft reminder. Not long ago he too had made costly mistakes.

  "How did he come to be scarred?"

  This time I was the one to frown. "Inanna tortured him before she killed him." Technically, Inanna hadn't been in the room physically. She'd used her avatar, Craig Stoiler, to make Theo scream for mercy before murdering him. To me, the how didn't matter.

  Squeezing my shoulder one last time, Stan stepped away. "I will prepare to accompany Brian and the hunters." Before he turned to head back up the hillside, Stan glanced to where Theo had disappeared, a wistful expression crossing his face before it became, once again, unreadable.

  I headed toward the amphitheater as if I'd noticed nothing unusual about Stan's behavior. I dared not say anything to jinx whatever was brewing between them. Honestly, I wasn't sure I wanted to be right or wrong when it came to Stan and Theo. Fortunately, there were a host of things to steal my attention away.

  Chapter Fourteen

  "This is Isabell Chavez, investigative reporter for International News at Eight. I'm standing on the Tennessee side of Interstate 155 bridge. All this week we've been tracking a pack of Canadian timber wolves who seem to be migrating south at a very rapid pace. Wildlife experts are perplexed over this behavior and caution drivers to watch out for this large pack. I will interview a special guest later tonight, so make sure you tune back in at the top of the hour."

  Stanley Kendall

  The shadowman, Coba, moved me from Sanctuary to the ranch. Even t
hough I asked how the other Shadow Movers were doing, gathering the ring bearers of the Servants of the Glorious One for Bixx Decimus, my mind wasn't on the conversation. Theodore Sullivan was alive, and the very thought rocked my world. Coba didn't comment on my lack of attention, politely keeping his thoughts to himself even as he smirked at me.

  It wasn't unusual for Jory to use my room as an escape, a quiet place where no one would think to look for him. So when I open the door, I was unsurprised to see him sitting at my desk with his laptop open in front of him. Once inside I couldn't settle. I needed to do something, otherwise I'd go out of my mind. Jory watched me pace but said nothing. We'd known each other for so long, he understood me better than my own family. When I was ready to talk, he'd be the first I confided in.

  "Do you want to do katas with me?" I pulled a pair of loose pants from the dresser, glancing at him over my shoulder.

  "Sure. Toss me a pair."

  Snagging a lighter colored set from the drawer, I lobbed them to Jory and quickly changed clothes. Next door, in the room Randy had been moved to, Justus, Neoma, and Dawn played a game on the floor while Randy watched.

  "Hey, you two," I said to Neoma and Justus. "Change your clothes. We're going to the tents."

  I stopped in the kitchen, pulling several bottles of water out of the refrigerator and placing them into a bag. By the time I finished, everyone was ready and we all piled out the back door. Northwest from the main ranch house stood a city of tents. After the warriors were freed from The Center, many of them didn't have a place to go. Untold numbers had been traumatized and abused, especially after the Goddess Inanna's Servants had infiltrated the facility. Some had chosen to stay near Tristan, the alpha who could anchor them and keep them in their human form. Until Tristan arranged for housing, the Lycan warriors insisted on staying here while they recouped.