Beneath Our Faults

by Charity Ferrell

  "I just wanted to say thanks for bringing me here and really for everything," she said, fidgeting.

  "It was no problem," I responded, trying to tear my eyes away from her breasts and calm my dick back down.

  "You're really not as bad as everyone tries to make you out," she settled down on the bed beside me, sitting Indian style. My eyes dashed from her chest to her bare legs and I fought the urge to bring my hand up and run it along her smooth, olive skin.

  "People say I'm a bad person?" I replied, feigning hurt by putting my hand across my heart. "You tired?" I asked, dragging one of the pillows crammed behind my head and tossing it next to me.

  "Yeah," she answered, her fingers tracing the patterns on the quilt. "I just can't sleep. It's so weird being here."

  "Why?"

  Her shoulders shrugged then slumped down. "It just is."

  "Did everything go okay with your friend?"

  "I guess but I'm pretty sure she's still pissed at me."

  "Why would she be pissed at you?"

  Her fingers froze on the blanket. "Because it's my fault," she whispered, shaking her head.

  "Bullshit. Did you slit her fucking wrist or hand her the blade?"

  "Well no," she answered, shutting her eyes. "But I wasn't there for her when she needed me."

  "She's not a little girl and from the looks of it, you have your own set of fucking issues you're trying to figure out."

  "You don't understand," she stressed. "You wouldn't understand but I left her at a time when she really needed me." Her full lips started to quiver and I wrapped my arms around her waist. I kept my hold on her, dragging her across the bed until her back was against the headboard and she was sitting next to me. My mouth became moist at the feel of her bare arm hitting my chest as she moved around to get comfortable.

  "People do fucked up shit all the time, but you can't blame yourself for all the bullshit that happens to them. You have to worry about fixing yourself before you can fix anyone else, babe. You've obviously been having a rough time dealing with whatever you've got going on but you're not trying to off yourself because of it. So what, you left her. People get left behind all the time, trust me, I could write a damn book of how times people have left me." I paused, watching her eyes widen at my revelation. Shoot, I was surprised I even said that. I never told anyone about my problems. "Some people run away to get a fresh start. Your friend needs to find a way to be as strong as you are."

  She scoffed. "I am far from strong."

  My arms tightened around her, bringing her closer into my body. "You are strong. I mean, you resisted my perfect charm even when we share a bed," I snickered, remembering how it felt when her warm hands ran over my chest.

  She rolled her eyes, elbowing me in the side gently. "Just when your nice side comes out, you have to go mess up everything with your stupid ego."

  "You love it," I boasted, pinching her side, causing her to squirm. "Why was that guy being a complete asshat to you earlier? Damn, he really has his boy's back."

  She averted her gaze back to the blanket. "He's not mad about me about that. I said some horrible words to him before I left and obviously he's still mad at me," she replied, obviously refusing to share anything else. The girl was packed with secrets, a puzzle I just couldn't seem to figure out. I wanted to climb into her brain and unlock everything she was hiding.

  "So you and Tessa were pretty close, huh? I noticed you had a ton of pictures of you two all over the house," I asked, trying to mask my attempt at prying.

  "Yeah, we've known each other since I came out of the womb. Our parents were all best friends and I guess they passed that torch down to us."

  "So she tried to kill herself because you moved away to Atlanta? Sure seems a bit overdramatic, if you ask me."

  "Not exactly," she said, drawing out the words. "Her brother was my ex-boyfriend. Things didn't exactly, um, work out between the two of us so I decided to leave."

  "I see." She had run all the way of Atlanta because of some guy. I guess that made sense as to why she was sad all the time. But weren't high school relationships not supposed to last anyways? I was certain there was some pie chart out there that supported my theory. "So have you lived here your entire life?"

  Her head nodded against the pillow and she finally looked up from the blanket. "My parents bought this house when they found out my mom was pregnant with me," she answered, around a giant yawn. "My dad had just gotten hired at the station and they had him working second shift."

  "Shit hours.”

  "And of course, I decided I wanted to be born on his first day on the job at two in the morning."

  I chuckled. "Why does it not surprise me that you were even a pain in the ass still in the womb?"

  "Hey! I'm not a pain in the ass.”

  "Yeah right! I remember the first day I met you and offered you a simple, friendly ride to school. You looked at me like you wanted to cut my balls off and grind them in your blender."

  She shook her head trying to keep her smile at bay. "Uh yeah, maybe because I had just witnessed you getting your freak on like eight hours before."

  I squinted my eyes at her. "You were watching me get my freak on," I corrected, tilting my head at her and chuckling.

  Her arms crossed her chest, covering up my perfect view. "I was not watching," she yelped, and then covered her mouth when she realized how loud her voice carried through the room. She moaned, making my dick throb at the sound. "Okay, what would you do then? Here I was alone, on my balcony hanging out then I hear some loud moan and I think one of my neighbors are watching porn on TV. Instead, I look over the railing and see you two doing," she paused, searching for words she wasn’t too embarrassed to say, "your thing. I completely just froze up, unable to move."

  "Your face was priceless. You looked like you had just got caught with your hand in the cookie jar."

  "Hey buddy, your hand was the one in someone's cookie jaw," she teased back, giving me a sense of relief at the brief glimmer of a real smile twitching on her face. She yawned.

  "You should probably get some sleep," I said, settling into my pillow. She nodded and my eyes practically bulged out of my head when she dipped her body down further into the blankets and settled down next to me - still in my bed.

  “He’s dead,” she said, out of nowhere, and surprising the shit out of me.

  “Who?”

  “Tanner, my ex-boyfriend, he’s dead,” she said, her voice soft, but clear. Well fuck, that sure complicated things. No wonder she had problems.

  “How did he die?”

  “He got shot.”

  “I see.” I wanted to wrap her tiny body into my arms and comfort her but I was scared she would stop talking if I did. “Was it an accident? How did it happen?”

  “It was a school shooting,” she paused, and took a breath. “The guy who did it. I knew him. We all knew him. We’d been going to school together since kindergarten. I cheered with his girlfriend, but he cheated on her all the time. She finally got fed up and broke up with him. When she started to date someone else, he just snapped. His dad was actually on the force with mine, so he just grabbed a gun from his dad’s collection and shot everyone in her class.”

  She paused, inhaling a deep then exhaling. “He killed twenty kids and our Geometry teacher. I knew every single person that died in that classroom and heard their screams while he killed them because the class was right next to mine. I can remember how scared I was that he was coming to get us next.” A few tears dripped down her face and she sniffled.

  “Baby,” I said, dragging her body closer into mine. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.” My fingers ran down her arms, attempting to comfort her. How did you comfort someone who had to listen to their boyfriend get murdered in the room next to them? “What happened to the kid?”

  “He killed himself by putting a bullet in his own head.”

  “Wow, what a waste,” I whispered. And an asshole. I hated when I saw shit like that. If you wan
t to kill yourself, just do it. There was no need to take others out with you.

  “The sad part was, he was actually a decent kid until he started hanging out with the wrong crowd. He started doing drugs and partying all the time, and I mean hard partying. I guess it just messed with his head. They said when they did his autopsy, his system was loaded with a deadly combination of drugs, they were surprised he could even stand.”

  “Is that why you don’t talk about your life here? Because you don’t want people to know?”

  She sighed. “If people knew, they would have treated me like a porcelain pony. Everyone here acted like I was some freakshow after everything, which is what I didn’t want when I moved to Atlanta.”

  “Thank you for sharing that with me and trusting me.” The fact that she opened up to me meant a lot. She was letting me in.

  “Thank you for allowing me to trust you,” she replied, giving me a small smile.

  “We should probably get some sleep now,” I said, exhausted.

  “Goodnight,” she mumbled, closing her eyes.

  “I WOULD yell at you for having your arms around me and your junk pressing against my back, but you’re keeping me warm so I will let it slide this time,” a sleepy voice mumbled in front of me.

  I laughed and pulled the blanket tighter around our connected bodies to keep the freezing chill away from our heated wrap. “Is your dad going to come in here and arrest me since you’re in bed with me?” The bed shifted. She turned around and I lost my hold on her. Her charcoal eyes peeked up at me and she rested her head on her elbow.

  "Arrest you? No. Shoot you? Maybe." Her sleepy smile morphed into a smirk.

  "Well shit, you better give me something worth dying for then," I answered, wrapping my arm around her back and trying to bring her in closer to me but I was stopped by her hands hitting my shoulders.

  "Nu uh, slick. Don't even try it."

  "You suck," I groaned. "Are we heading home today?"

  "Yeah, but is it okay if we stop by the hospital for a minute before we head out? I wanted to tell her goodbye before we leave."

  "That's cool." I was in no rush to get back to Atlanta. I had a bag filled with deodorant and shit in my car I kept in case I ever stayed overnight anywhere, so I was good.

  "Hey, did you ever tell your mom you were coming here?" She asked.

  "Nope."

  "Why not?"

  "She wouldn't have cared, so it doesn't really matter. I try to limit all communication I have with her."

  "Why is she gone all the time?" she asked.

  "My mom is Layla Hudson," I answered.

  She gave me a blank look, obviously not familiar with the name.

  "Do you watch porn?"

  Her head tilted to the side. "Uhhh… no?"

  "You sure?"

  She smacked my arm. "Yes, I'm sure. Jesus, why are you even asking me that?"

  "Because she's a porn star," I explained, putting her confusion at ease.

  "Oh." Her lips perused together. "Good thing I don't watch porn because that would be weird. But isn't she a little too old for that?" Her mouth went up to her hand at her outburst. "Shit. That was rude."

  "You would think she would realize that, too, but obviously not. She's still got a pretty popular fan base or some shit like that." The fact that guys enjoyed watching my mom have sex was just gross but I'd learned to deal with it.

  "Great," she mumbled. "Now, whenever I meet her all I am going to be thinking is porn star, porn star."

  I laughed. "So you plan on meeting my mom."

  "I was just saying, hypothetically,” she rushed out, waving her hands.

  "You like me, you really like me,” I laughed, raising the pitch of my voice.

  She elbowed me in the side and I let out an "umph."

  "Jesus, has anyone ever told you violence is not the answer?” I asked, rubbing my side through the blanket.

  "My dad is a police officer. He told me I could use violent force towards a guy whenever I wanted."

  "I don't think that's how it works, sweetheart. Just because your daddy is a cop doesn't mean you can go beat the shit out of people and get away with it."

  "Wanna test your theory?" She laughed, punching her hand with her fist.

  "Whoa, calm down Rocky. I believe you." And I did. I bet my ass if Daisy clocked me and I went to the cops, they would laugh at my ass.

  "MY LIFE officially sucks," Gabby groaned, tossing her tray down on the table and sliding in to the chair next to me. "I can't go with you guys on New Years now because my mom is forcing me to go to my step-dad's family's lame New Year's party.”

  It was the last day of the semester before Christmas break and I was going home for the holidays. My stomach was a bundle of nerves as I packed my bags the day before.

  "I bet you are super excited for that one," Cora laughed, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "You just need to explain to your mom that you've had these plans with us for like, ever, and you honestly don't want to deal with his super uptight, asshole family that think they are better than you. You would much rather hang out with us."

  I didn’t blame Gabby for not wanting to go to the party. They all treated her the same way Piper did, like shit, because her mother was her step-dad’s mistress before they got married.

  "Tried it," she frowned, unscrewing the cap off her drink. "You can only get called a home wrecking whore so many times before you flip out and cut a bitch. I guess I have to be there just in case that happens.”

  "Hell," Lane cut in, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "If that happens, be sure to give me a pre-warning so I can be in attendance. I love me a good girl brawl."

  "You've never even witnessed a girl brawl," Cora said, calling him out.

  "World's Dumbest on True TV, they have hour long episodes filled of girl brawls, sometimes ripping each other's clothes off. It's awesome."

  Cora laughed. "I need to rethink my attraction to you.”

  "Yeah, I don't think that technically counts," I added.

  I had finally agreed to go on a trip to Lane's cabin in the Smoky Mountains with them for New Years. Now that Gabby was bailing on us, it meant it would just be the four of us going now.

  Hell no. That was not happening.

  The trip was not about to turn into some double date weekend trip.

  I had to nip this shit in the bud real quick. "Since Gabby isn't going now, I'll just stay back too," I announced to the table, bringing everyone's attention my way. Apparently my canceling was now more intriguing than a cougar girl fight. "Why don't you two," my hand went back and forth between Cora and Lane, "go have yourselves a nice little romantic holiday together."

  "Hell no," Gabby stretched out the two words, "you are not getting out of this." Her bony finger pointed my way. "You have to go have some fun for me since I will be stuck in freaking hell." I rubbed my hands together noticing the sweat already forming around them. Gabby was high if she thought I was going on this trip without her.

  "Wait a minute now," Lane called out. "This romantic getaway weekend sounds kinda kinky and I like it. What does a romantic weekend entail exactly? Does it mean I get laid frequently? If so, count me in." He grabbed Cora's head bringing her cheek to his lips before giving her a kiss.

  "Shut it, Lane," Gabby scolded. "Daisy is not bailing."

  "Daisy isn't bailing on what?" The familiar husky voice came out of freaking nowhere behind me. Damnit! I swear he was some sort of freak hybrid with weird ESP that told him exactly when to show up and dip into conversations he didn't need to be in. The chair next to me shrilled against the floor and Keegan turned it backwards, flopping down on it with his legs straddling the back of the chair. He turned directly towards me with raised eyebrows awaiting my answer.

  "She's trying to get out of going this weekend because I have to bail and attend the Annual Douglas New Year’s Party," Gabby tattled, making me want to strangle her tiny petite frame. Sometimes, I loved the girl yet other I wanted to wring her neck. I knew Keegan
would eventually find out I bailed but I was counting on it happening when he was in the car heading there and too late to sweet talk me into going.

  His face went sour. "The fuck you aren't going. You can't leave me alone with these two assholes."

  "I'm sure Piper would be happy to go with you. Then you won't feel so alone," I quickly rebutted. That girl would walk on the damn sun without her beloved high heels if Keegan told her it would turn him on.

  "Hell no," blurted out of Cora's mouth at the same time as "fuck that" bellowed from Lane's.

  "Friends don't stick other friends with Piper Douglas," Cora said, applying lip-gloss. "Otherwise, you will have to come sneak me in beauty products in prison.”

  "All of you guys can just shut the hell up now because I am going to be the tortured person who is going to be stuck with Piper," Gabby mumbled, frowning.

  "Fuck, I forgot you two were related," Lane chucked over at Gabby, and she kicked his shin.

  "I'm not related to that evil troll," she protested, clearly annoyed. "Just because your mom starts banging her boss doesn't mean you automatically become related to all his uptight family members."

  "Daisy," Keegan said my name softly. "You're going," he demanded, "and we are going to have a fuckload of fun."

  I shook my head. "It might be. …weird." Might be? Hell, it WAS going to be weird. Sure, I see him almost every day when he takes me back and forth to school and we've shared a bed a few times too many, but we were actually going to be by ourselves, unsupervised and most likely drinking. I was going to be toast on this trip.

  "It's settled. Daisy will be there," Keegan proclaimed to the table. Grabbing a carrot from my tray and tossing it into his mouth, he moved in way too close for comfort. "Don't forget your bathing suit for the hot tub," he breathed into my ear. Goosebumps immediately popped up on every inch of my body. He chucked, noticing his effect on me. "I can't wait to see that tight little body barely covered for me." He finished the last word, got up and walked away from the table.

  CHRISTMAS MUSIC played in the background as I stood on my tiptoes, grabbing two mugs from the top shelf of the kitchen cabinet and setting them down on the counter in front of me. I poured the hot chocolate, then added my final touches: nine marshmallows, hot fudge and chocolate chips (in that exact order.)