Until You Loved Me--A Novel

by Brenda Novak

  These women were nurses, she realized, summoning the strength to raise her eyelids so she could look around. She was in a hospital. She remembered hardly anything about the time she’d spent here so far—had no idea how long it’d been since she arrived, for instance—but she did recall the terrible plane ride from California, the jolting of the bus she’d taken to long-term parking and being sick at home.

  Thank God the nausea was gone. She was only a bit groggy and weak. And her stomach felt tender from throwing up so often—

  Adrenaline shot through her. The baby! Had she lost it?

  She bolted upright, startling both the nurse who was trying to get her blood pressure and the one who was tucking her feet more securely beneath the blankets. “My baby! Is my baby okay?” she asked, appealing to one and then the other.

  The nurse who’d been taking her blood pressure, a young blonde by the name of Amber, according to the badge on her uniform, shushed her and righted the cuff so she could start over, while an older, heavyset brunette by the name of Judy came up on the other side and patted her shoulder. “Don’t worry, honey. The baby should be fine. You’re scheduled for an ultrasound in a few minutes to confirm it. I wasn’t here when you were first admitted, but I was told the doctor located a heartbeat, no problem.”

  Too weak and dizzy to remain upright without support, Ellie dropped back onto her pillow. If the baby had a heartbeat, he was alive.

  She dragged in a gulp of air as that registered, calming her. “What made me so sick?” she asked. “What was wrong with me?”

  Judy answered again, “A nasty flu, from what I understand.”

  Amber, intent on watching the blood pressure monitor, added, “It was lucky Hudson brought you in. You were almost completely dehydrated. Dr. Evans, the emergency room physician, said it wouldn’t have been good if he’d waited any longer.”

  What would she have done if Hudson hadn’t been there?

  That was a scary thought, since she hadn’t been capable of driving herself and had probably been too out of it to call for an ambulance. He was the one who’d insisted they seek help. “When did I get here?”

  “Early yesterday morning, around six,” Amber said.

  “So it’s been...”

  Judy checked her watch. “Twenty-nine hours or so.”

  Twenty-nine hours. And she’d slept through all of them. As sick as she’d been, she was grateful she’d had a reprieve, but she felt disoriented as a result of losing so much time. Wasn’t she supposed to be at the BDC today? “What day is it?”

  “Monday.”

  “Does anyone at my work know I’m sick?”

  “Hudson spoke with someone who kept calling your cell,” Judy said. “Someone named Linda? I got the impression she was from your work.”

  “Did you say Hudson spoke with her?” Ellie clarified.

  “Yeah. I heard him say you were in the hospital.”

  “So he has my phone, or...”

  Amber, finished with her blood pressure, recorded her readings and folded up the cuff. “Isn’t it right there, next to your purse?”

  Ellie looked over at the bedside table. Sure enough. “I brought it with me?” She was struggling to fill in the gaps...

  “Hudson went back for your purse and brought your phone, too,” Judy explained.

  Amber interrupted to say she had to visit another room and hurried out.

  “Admissions needed your insurance card and ID,” Judy explained when her fellow nurse was gone.

  “Did they get it?” Ellie asked.

  “I believe so. I remember Hudson going down to provide it.”

  He’d dug through her purse? Or had she told him where to find those things?

  She couldn’t remember. She’d been feeling so terrible, she supposed she should simply be grateful he’d handled everything. She was grateful, except it felt odd to have someone who was almost a stranger take over—and not just any stranger but Hudson King.

  Because she wasn’t quite sure how to react to his involvement in such practical matters—something a boyfriend, husband or fiancé would’ve done, which was obviously how the nurses viewed him—she changed the subject. “What time is the ultrasound?”

  “Three,” came the answer, but it wasn’t Judy who’d spoken. Hudson had heard the question as he breezed in.

  Ellie could smell french fries in the bag he carried. “What are you doing here?”

  He blinked at her in surprise. “What do you mean? I picked up lunch and now I’m back to eat.”

  “He’s had hardly anything all day.”

  Judy sounded defensive, but Ellie wasn’t upset that he’d left. She was shocked he’d come back. Why was he still in Miami? He had her number. They could talk over the phone once she was out of the hospital.

  Or was he afraid she wouldn’t pick up? “You look like you’ve been out drinking all night,” she said.

  Not only was he wearing the clothes he’d had on when she first found him in her house, an abundance of razor stubble covered the lower half of his face, and his hair stuck up on one side. She couldn’t say he looked like hell, because he didn’t. He couldn’t look like hell if he tried. Hence her problem. She didn’t want him to appear too human. That made it far too easy to forget they really had very little in common.

  He tried to force his hair to lie down by raking his fingers through it—to no avail. “Well, excuse me. I guess I’ve been busy taking care of someone who’s sick as a dog. What do you think, I should’ve brought my luggage to the hospital so I could shower and shave after sleeping on that crappy chair?”

  She heard Judy make a sound as if she was stifling a laugh, but when Hudson threw her an exasperated look, she cleared her throat. “I’ll give you two some privacy,” she mumbled and scurried out of the room, closing the door behind her.

  “I didn’t mean to offend you,” Ellie said. “I just... I don’t know. You’re a public figure. Someone could take a picture.”

  “So?”

  “So with you looking so unkempt, they could assume you’re on a drug binge. Or worse. Word could get out that you’re taking care of a woman who’s in the hospital, which would naturally create the assumption that there’s some kind of...romantic attachment between the two of us.”

  He grimaced. “That’s worse than thinking I’m on a drug binge?”

  “Well, it’s not true.”

  “I’m not taking drugs, either.”

  “I’m saying the situation could be misinterpreted.”

  “Let ’em say or print what they want.” He shrugged. “I can’t live in fear of what people will make of every little thing I do.”

  Apparently, appealing to his public image wasn’t enough to get rid of him... “Still, there’s no reason for you not to go on about your business. I’m fine now. Sorry for all the trouble I’ve put you through.”

  He scowled at her. “Oh, no, you don’t.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You’re not sending me away.”

  “Of course I’m not sending you away. I’m merely...letting you off the hook. There’s nothing worse than having to be around someone who’s vomiting or...sick in other ways. Surely you’ve got to be eager for the chance to escape.” She was certainly eager to finish recuperating without once again suffering from diarrhea while Hudson King was on the other side of the bathroom door.

  “Everyone gets sick now and then. It’s not a big deal. You should see how many guys throw up before—or after—a big game.”

  “I appreciate your understanding. That’s very...down-to-earth. But I’m in good hands here. There’s no need to waste any more of your time.”

  “I’m not wasting my time.” He reached into the sack and stuck a french fry in his mouth. “You’re about to have an ultrasound.
I’d like to be here for that.”

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Because I’ve never seen one. And it’s my baby, too, isn’t it?”

  “Are you double-checking?”

  “Just confirming.”

  “Yes. It’s your baby. It can’t be anyone else’s. Sorry that I haven’t been more promiscuous,” she said sarcastically. “You’ve got to be hoping for a little doubt. The way I went to your hotel so easily was quite misleading. But what can I say? I’d had too much to drink.”

  He froze, an expression of concern on his face. “You were sober enough to make the decision. I was very careful about that.”

  “Sorry. You’re right. That wasn’t an accusation. I knew what I was doing. So let me pick a different excuse—I was on the rebound. I shouldn’t have gone out that night, especially with a handful of condoms in my purse. Anyway, the doctor checked for a heartbeat. The nurse told me the baby’s fine.”

  He ate another french fry. “I know about the heartbeat. I was here when they put on the monitor.”

  She widened her eyes. “Was I dressed when they did that?” She glanced down at her hospital gown and realized that, of course, she wouldn’t have been. “I mean...covered?”

  He swallowed what he had in his mouth before speaking. “For the most part.”

  She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I can’t believe a nurse—someone—didn’t kick you out of the room.”

  He kept eating his fries. “Why would they? I told them you were pregnant with my baby. Obviously they’d assume I’ve seen it all, because I have.”

  “As I remember, we never even turned on a light.”

  “Semantics. I felt every inch of you.”

  “That was before!”

  “Before what?” he said.

  “Before I was pregnant.”

  He looked genuinely confused. “How does that change anything?”

  “Just because we had a one-night stand doesn’t mean... Never mind.”

  “You’re taking it all wrong,” he said. “We were afraid you were losing the baby. Like I said, I wasn’t looking at you that way.”

  “I trust that’s the truth. It just feels weird that I was exposed without my knowledge or control when there was a...a guy in the room.” And deep down, she hated the thought that maybe he was comparing her to some of the perfect female bodies he’d seen in the past when she hadn’t even had the chance to make sure she was presentable.

  “A guy?” Losing interest in the fries, he put the sack on her rolling tray. “You mean the father of your baby?”

  “Would you like me looking at you when you’re naked and helpless?” she countered.

  “I wouldn’t care. I mean...maybe I’d have a problem with it if you were taking pictures you planned to sell. I have to worry about weird shit like that. But people see my body all the time. There’s no privacy when you play professional sports.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure you keep your pants on while female reporters are in the locker room. You at least have the choice. Besides, you spend your life honing your body. You probably live in a freaking gym.”

  “So this is about body insecurity.”

  “No!”

  He gave her a look that made it clear he saw through her. “For what it’s worth, I find you beautiful, or I wouldn’t have taken you to my hotel in the first place.”

  “You took me to your hotel because I didn’t have a clue who you were. You liked that. It made you feel safe. Otherwise, you would’ve told me.”

  “I might’ve told you if you’d stuck around long enough.”

  She ignored that comment. “Besides, I wasn’t pregnant then. I wasn’t throwing up, either. I’d just had a Brazilian, and I was wearing sexy underwear!”

  “And you weren’t yesterday? Because I didn’t even notice! By the way, as long as we’re talking about your body, the doctor expressed some concern that you haven’t gained more weight. He was wondering if you’ve been dieting, and that made me nervous, too. You’re not, are you?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Of course not. I’ve been stressed out of my mind by an unexpected pregnancy. That’s all. You think the surprise has been hard on you...”

  He frowned at her.

  “What?”

  “We have to adjust, get you eating more.”

  How would he have any part in how she handled her pregnancy? “I’ve got it. No worries. Anyway, I’d rather you didn’t stick around for the ultrasound.”

  His shoulders slumped. “Look, I agree that I didn’t react well when you told me about the baby. I feel bad about that. But I knew hardly anything about you. What was I supposed to think?”

  “You could’ve heard me out before rushing to judgment!”

  “I was upset, okay? You don’t understand how much...” His chest rose as he drew a deep breath. “Never mind. I’ll apologize again. I acted like a complete jerk, and I’m truly sorry. I’m trying to behave better.”

  How had their lives become so entangled as the result of one chance meeting? What was she going to do with this six-foot-five-inch quarterback who took up so much space in her hospital room—who’d actually arranged for this hospital room?

  Nothing in her life was turning out the way she’d thought it would...

  “Are you listening?” he asked. “I’m being very nice, aren’t I?”

  Supremely conscious of the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra—and was now feeling well enough to care—she pulled the blankets higher. “Yes, you are. The nurses here are so excited to see you walking the corridors. It’s a thrill for everyone.”

  “What do the nurses have to do with anything?”

  That he created such a splash wherever he went reminded her that he wasn’t a normal guy, and she didn’t know how to deal with anything else. “You attract too much attention. I’m not comfortable being near you.”

  He reared back as if she’d slapped him.

  “I don’t mean that personally, of course,” she quickly added. “But I’m someone who’d rather stay out of the limelight. A lot of women love that sort of thing. I’m just not one of them.”

  “Sucks for you that this is my baby, then, doesn’t it?”

  “Kind of,” she grumbled.

  He laughed without mirth. “How ironic.”

  “What?”

  “I have hordes of women begging to have my baby. You should see the letters and pictures that pour in to my agent’s address. And yet you wish you’d slept with someone else—anyone else.”

  She sighed. “That’s putting it too harshly.”

  “How would you put it?”

  “Your celebrity complicates things!”

  “That’s why I can’t be included in the ultrasound? Because people know who I am? Because I play football? May I remind you that football’s my profession and the fame that goes with it isn’t something I can change? That’d be like me saying I can’t tolerate that you wear a lab coat.”

  “That isn’t the same thing at all! I can choose not to wear a lab coat. You can’t do anything about the girls who scream when you walk by. And it’s not only that. We don’t have a relationship in the first place, so having you hang around drawing so much attention doesn’t make sense.”

  “I’m the one who’s been taking care of you. Isn’t that what a friend does?”

  She might’ve died without him—or lost the baby. Either way, he’d come through for her at a critical time. “Yes, and I appreciate your help. I do.”

  “And you’ve forgiven me for the motel. You said you would.”

  “Yes.” If she was going to hold a grudge against anyone, it’d be Don. None of this would’ve happened without him, without his betrayal. Even so, in certain moments—when she had the objectivity to acknowledge the marr
iage would’ve been a mistake—she could see that, as conflicted as he was, Don had handled the situation the best way he knew how. He’d always put his own interests first, but most people did. “What happened at the motel is over. I understand why you weren’t pleased by the news. But remember, I thought I was getting married. I thought I’d be honeymooning in the Seychelles, a place I’ve always wanted to see. I wasn’t expecting this any more than you were.”

  “We’ve both been caught in something that we didn’t choose. Just...don’t freeze me out because I overreacted—or for something that’s beyond my control.”

  A regular Hudson was appealing; a penitent Hudson was irresistible. “Okay.”

  His grin slanted to one side. “Thanks. You hungry?” He picked up the sack he’d set on her rolling tray a few minutes earlier. “I brought you a blue cheese bacon burger and some fries. The food in this place sucks.”

  She couldn’t even think about eating, least of all a greasy bacon burger. “No, thanks. I’m not interested in that sort of thing yet.”

  “You have to eat. You haven’t had anything since you got home.”

  “I prefer liquids for now. I’ll ask a nurse to bring me some broth later.”

  “No problem. I can polish off both burgers.” He didn’t seem at all put off by the prospect of doubling his caloric intake. Given his career, he burned off whatever he ate almost as soon as he swallowed it. But it didn’t seem fair that he could eat so much and still look that good.

  Adding jealousy to the list of reasons she needed to maintain some emotional distance, Ellie rubbed her forehead. She was trying to come up with a way to approach the subject of how involved he planned to be in the baby’s life when she encountered a bandage at her temple.

  The moment he noticed, he put his half-eaten burger back in the sack and lowered his voice. “I told them you tripped and fell—that’s how you cut your head—and I hope you’ll leave it at that. I’d rather not create any speculation about whether I tried to hurt you. You have no idea how closely sports figures can be scrutinized. If someone from California reports a shouting match between us at a motel, and someone from Miami reports that you were injured, and that I was the one who took you to the hospital...well, some reporter could claim that I followed you back to Miami to continue the argument and...and it got out of hand. In other words, they could make me look guilty of something I’m not.”