Secrets, Lies & Imperfections

by Pamela L. Todd

  This was all I needed.

  I had to have a game plan. I couldn’t hide this forever. Dad would hear about it sooner rather than later, and Blake would notice pretty quickly that I wasn’t going to work every night. When the shit hit the family fan, I had to have something to tell them to keep them off my back.

  Great. Just fucking great.

  * * * *

  The gardens at the Marebello looked like something out of Willy Wonka’s imagination. It was pure fantasy, from the displays to the lighting. Add in the fact that in the center was now an altar, and an aisle had been created with flower petals and twinkly fairy lights hung from every surface.

  I barely noticed any of it.

  When I got back to Blake’s after leaving The Oasis, the place was a bustle of activity. Marley, her mother and friend were taking up the second floor, while Blake and I, apparently, were to use the first floor. Hairdressers, florists and beauty therapists drifted from room to room, making sure everyone was ready and beautiful.

  It meant no one paid me a smidge of attention. No one looked too hard and saw that on the inside I was crumbling.

  Blake and I left for the Marebello first. Mom and Dad were already there, along with a couple of old colleagues of Blake’s. He wasn’t having a best man and Marley wasn’t having any bridesmaids. They just wanted to get married, and have the few people who meant most to them to be there to see them do it.

  Which was why I wondered what the hell I was doing there.

  A few minutes before Marley was scheduled to walk down the aisle, Henry slipped into the gardens and took his place beside Marley’s mother. He glanced at me and gave me a brief nod. I turned away. Now wasn’t the time to make a scene.

  Marley walked down the aisle to some song I didn’t recognize. She wore a knee-length lace dress with a poof to the skirt, and she was barefoot. It was so individual and so completely right for her, that it almost made me smile.

  Cass would have loved it.

  * * * *

  After the ceremony, we were served champagne. Marley and Blake were in an impenetrable bubble and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. It hurt to look at them.

  For the most part, I stood with Mom. I knew she knew there was something wrong. A mother always knows. But mine also knew that there was no use in pushing for information when it came to me. I had nothing I wanted to say, anyways.

  We were all having dinner in the smaller, more intimate restaurant at the Marebello. Dad had it shut down for the night just for Marley and Blake. I was placed at the table between Dad and Henry, like some kind of fucking joke.

  Well. The universe could kiss my ass.

  The group was served another round of champagne. Once the waiter had finished pouring, Marley’s friend, Hayley, rose to stand and tapped her glass with her knife.

  “Hi, everyone,” she said, beaming at us all. “I’m Hayley, Marley’s best friend…and unofficial maid of honor, since she refused to put a label on it.”

  Marley laughed and rolled her eyes. “Nice, Hayley. Real subtle. Are you ever going to forgive me for not having bridesmaids?”

  Hayley grinned. “What’s to forgive? I’m totally your maid of honor…I just don’t think you know it yet.” She turned back to the rest of the table. “And since I’m the maid of honor, it’s my job to make a toast. Seth, you’re next, by the way. You’re the only logical best man.”

  I glanced over at Blake and he shrugged, giving me a small smile. He had mentioned that morning that Marley suspected Hayley would bring out a speech at the meal and he asked if I wouldn’t mind saying a few words. It would mean a lot to Marley. I’d almost dropped down dead at his request.

  Hayley let out a breath and looked down at Marley. “You’ve been my best friend now for a few years. In that time, I’ve gotten to know a lot of sides to you. I’ve known you during one of the worst times in your life, during drunken nights with the girls and through less-than-desirable relationships. And today, my dearest friend, I’m seeing a brand new side—the happiest I have ever seen you. And it would take a fool not to know that it is because of the man sitting beside you.

  “Blake, I can’t even begin to thank you for making my friend so happy. She’s a different woman with you, a better woman. I have never seen a couple so in love, so contented, so glowing, just from being around each other. I have no doubt in my mind that this is it for you two. You’re done. You’ve gotten your happy ending. And I couldn’t be prouder that you shared this day with me.” Hayley wiped under her eyes as Marley clutched her hand. She laughed and looked out across the table. “So if you will all join me in toasting the beautiful Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton.”

  We all lifted our glasses and murmured our cheers.

  After a moment it became clear that everyone was waiting on me to get up and say a few words. I slowly got to my feet and glanced between Blake and Marley. And realized I had a couple more than a few to say.

  “I always thought people who stuck around to work on problems and make amends were idiots. Why bother with something broken when you can go out and find something new? Then I saw Blake and Marley together and I realized it was because I never had anything worth fixing before.

  “Recently Blake and Marley were gracious enough to open their home to me. In my time with them, I’ve had my eyes opened and my expectations—along with my preconceived notions—changed. I’ve learned that even if you’re lucky enough to find that one person you were absolutely meant to be with, real life can still fuck it up.

  “Problems are problems, and everyone has them. Every relationship has them, including the great ones. I always thought when, and if, you find your soul mate, that’s it. The hard work is over. You don’t need to do any more work.

  “I couldn’t have been more wrong. I think the greater the love, the harder the work, because you have something greater to lose. Real life isn’t a fairy tale, and it is in thinking this that people don’t bother working out their problems, thinking they’ll solve themselves.

  “But just because you work at something, doesn’t mean it’s a chore. Take the time to remember why you fell in love in the first place. Take the time to remember out of all the billions of people in the world, why it was that one person who stole your heart.

  “Thanks to Blake and Marley I don’t believe in fairy tales. I believe in something better. I believe in something real.”

  When I paused, I was met with what I interpreted as a stunned silence. Blake smiled and fell back against his chair, and Marley had tears in her eyes. I had no idea what Blake would have told her about Cassidy not being there, but the softness in her face made me think she suspected the truth, at least. “To Blake and Marley.”

  “To Blake and Marley,” the rest of the table repeated.

  “I have your wedding gift, if you’d like it now,” I said, giving Blake a nervous smile. Reaching into my suit jacket pocket, I withdrew the wad of papers.

  Blake accepted them from me. He scanned them before looking up at me with a perplexed look. “What is this?”

  I pointed to the papers. “That is my newly purchased house. I got the keys yesterday. Congratulations, you guys. You have your house back.”

  Blake tipped his head back and laughed, full-bodied and loud. “Thanks, man. Seriously, I couldn’t have asked for a better gift.” He tossed the paperwork back across the table to me and I tucked it into my pocket.

  I gave him a tight smile and took my seat again. It had been meant as a joint gift—for the newlyweds as well as Cass. The small house was only a ten-minute drive from her apartment, and it was close to work without being virtually on the Strip. I’d pictured her face when she found out that we now had our own space where no one would walk in on us, where we could hang out and have some privacy.

  The sellers had already left the property when it was marketed, and with another few thousand tacked onto the purchase price, they were happy for me to furnish it before the contracts were officially filed. It was ready to be lived in,
and that night was supposed to be the first night I spent in it. It was supposed to be with Cass.

  Now I guessed it was a good thing so I didn’t have to see the freshly married couple in all their wedded bliss.

  Mostly I let the conversation wash over me during dinner. Hayley chatted and I responded when I had to, hoping I was faking it better than I thought I was. I was counting down the minutes until I could escape.

  When the meal was finished, I got up to order a round at the bar. Really, I just wanted a few minutes to myself without having to put on a mask.

  I slid the napkin I’d taken everyone’s order on across the bar to the bartender. No sooner had he turned to get started, did I feel someone stand beside me. Glancing over, I saw Dad had followed me to the bar.

  “Dad,” I said.

  “What the fuck were you thinking?” he asked quietly. His face gave nothing away. Of course it didn’t. Couldn’t have a single person imagining there was something wrong in Anthony Hamilton’s perfect existence, could we?

  “You heard the hotel decided to rearrange its staff, did you?”

  “I knew you were irresponsible, but I never had you for a goddamn thief.”

  Turning to lean my elbow on the bar so I could fully face him, I said, “And of course the rumors are true, right, Dad? If I told you it wasn’t true, it would be in one ear and out the other. Am I wrong?”

  Dad shook his head in disbelief. “Don’t even try and talk your way out of this one. You’re lucky Henry came to me first and I managed to convince him to keep things quiet. Who in their right mind would let you near their business again after being branded a thief?”

  I bit the inside of my cheek so hard I’m surprised I didn’t rip the flesh completely. Like with Cassidy, there was nothing I could say. He’d made up his mind and nothing I said would make a fucking difference.

  “I have never been more disappointed.”

  With those words, Dad finished me off. I’d been walking wounded all week, miserable over losing Cass. Now I knew what broken felt like. Now I knew what it felt like to hit bottom. This was it. This moment would be fresh and raw always.

  “Hi, I thought I’d come and lend you guys a hand.”

  Dad and I both turned at the sound of the new voice. Hayley smiled at us both and took the space on my other side.

  I gave her a nod by way of greeting, and focused my attention back on the bartender.

  “Well, it looks like you two have things under control. I’d better go and rescue Marley from your mother. She’s been gushing over her dress for the last twenty minutes.” Dad tapped the bar with his knuckles and headed back to the table.

  “I know a loaded conversation when I see one, and the look on your face made me feel seriously bad for you. Everything okay?” Hayley asked.

  I turned to look at her, surprised by her admission. “Nothing unexpected.”

  She snorted a laugh. “Someone has parental issues.”

  “Someone should mind their own business.”

  “Someone should be thankful someone didn’t, or someone would still be dealing with the hostility that just left the area.”

  Jesus, this girl was something else. I shook my head and couldn’t help the short laugh that bubbled in my throat. “Sorry. I guess a thank you is in order.”

  Hayley shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. Besides, I have an ulterior motive.”

  I arched an eyebrow. “Such as?”

  “You’re the only other person here I even remotely want to talk to. Marley’s swooning and Blake’s not moving an inch from her side. I love Marley’s mom, but if I have to hear one more story about a cute little café somewhere in Europe, my ears will bleed because I’ve stabbed myself in the head.” Hayley laughed. “I figured if I did you a solid, you’d do me one back and engage me in somewhat youthful conversation.”

  Glancing at Hayley, I knew all the signs that she was putting out. Every part of her screamed available. Not in the opportunistic way, like Ashley and Cora, more like in a craving-human-comfort way. It would be easy. As easy as slipping into a worn-in pair of jeans. I could take her if I wanted, take her and forget about everything.

  It’s not as if she wasn’t attractive. She was beautiful. Even had similar looks to Cass—long, dark rich-colored blonde hair, blue eyes. But her hair was a few inches too short, a few shades too light. Eyes too cerulean. She was gorgeous. She wasn’t what I wanted. “I’m not exactly great company right now.”

  She raked me over with her gaze and seemed to get the underlying message loud and clear. “Fine. Then let’s get drunk and bitch about the people in our lives.”

  The bartender placed the tray of drinks in front of me. I turned to give Hayley a smile. “I may be getting more thankful for your rescue.”

  Hayley laughed. “That’s because I’m awesome.”

  She helped me serve the drinks, and when she got to Henry, she asked if he wouldn’t mind swapping seats with her. She told him that we’d got to talking about a mutual love of punk rock music and she just had to know my thoughts on modern stuff versus eighties British.

  Girl was a dime.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  The room was spinning like a cheesy rotating bed in a honeymoon suite. My head pounded as if I’d smacked into a brick wall, and if I didn’t know any better, I’d say a cat had shit in my mouth. With Herculean effort, I pried open one eye to survey my surroundings.

  Where the fuck am I?

  At first, nothing was familiar about the house I was in. The couch, while enormous and so, so comfortable, was foreign, as was the walnut coffee table in front of it that was littered with empty beer bottles and shot glasses…and, yep, that was an empty bottle of tequila. No wonder I felt like I’d gone ten rounds with Tyson.

  The walls were an off-white color, an honest-to-God fireplace dominated the main wall and a huge flat screen was hung above it.

  It was then I remembered picking out the ostentatious TV.

  This was my place. My house. That I’d bought.

  Forcing myself to sit up, I held my splitting skull in my hands and hoped to hell I didn’t throw up. Who the fuck knew where the bathroom was in this place? I sure as shit couldn’t remember.

  At least I was fully dressed. That was always a good sign. Not that I was worried about some female corrupting my innocent ways.

  “Oh good, you’re up. You might want to crack a window. It stinks of ass in here.”

  Even though it was absolutely agonizing, I turned my head to seek the source of the new, feminine voice. The girl was vaguely familiar and I frowned, waiting on my alcohol-soaked brain to give me the answer. “Hayley. Marley’s friend.”

  She lifted her eyebrows and gave a startled laugh. “Wow, really? After last night I’m just Marley’s friend?”

  My stomach curdled. Oh fuck, please, please tell me I didn’t sleep with you… It made my chest pinch just thinking I’d been stupid enough to fall into bed with someone else. Cass may not ever fucking speak to me again, but that didn’t mean I was ready to throw what we had away.

  Hayley huffed and disappeared down the hall.

  I got to my feet and followed after her. I needed answers—whether I liked what they were or not. I found her in a bright, well-lit kitchen. Hayley pulled two mugs from a cupboard and poured us each a coffee. She placed one on the breakfast bar and turned to open the fridge door. Taking out a bottle of water, she tossed it in my direction.

  In hindsight, I guessed I was supposed to catch it. Instead, because my brain was working at about ten percent, and I was too busy freaking out that I may or may not have screwed this girl, the bottle smacked off my chest and dropped onto the floor.

  Hayley laughed. “Really?”

  With a groan, I bent to pick up the bottle. I slid onto a stool and cradled my head in my hands. “Please put me out of my misery,” I mumbled.

  “Sorry. Nothing for it but to ride it out.”

  “Not the hangover—you.”

  “Me what?�
� she asked, sitting opposite me.

  I lifted my head to look her in the eye. “Did we hook up?”

  Hayley’s face softened. “No, Seth. We didn’t hook up. After the wedding, I really didn’t want to just go back to my hotel room, so you said I could come here. We drank—you, considerably more than me—then you passed out on the couch. I slept in the guest room.”

  “Oh, thank Christ,” I breathed.

  “You really love that girl, don’t you?”

  “Sometimes I wish I didn’t.” It was a brutal confession. This week had been one of the worst in my life. My getting fired, Dad’s uncaring and disappointed attitude…it had nothing—absolutely, fucking nothing—on the hurt that came with Cassidy’s disappearance from my life. Who the fuck said it was better to have loved and lost than…whatever. Whoever it was clearly talked out of a hole in their ass.

  “Don’t talk like that,” Hayley said quietly. “If she knows what good thing she had, she’ll come around. And if she doesn’t…there are other people in this world you can love, Seth.”

  Maybe. But right now, it didn’t feel like the world was a happy place.

  “I’m going to cook you some breakfast. Don’t even think about arguing.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I said.

  Hayley cooked us bacon and eggs with a side of toast, and kept refilling my coffee mug. I felt marginally better once I’d eaten, but I had a suspicion this was going to be one of those bitching two-day hangovers.

  “Okay, I’m going to drop in on my best friend before I head back to New York. How naked do you think they’ll be?” Hayley asked as she gathered her things.

  I snorted a laugh. “Is that a rhetorical question?”

  She sighed. “Maybe I should text first.”

  “I would highly recommend texting first.” I walked Hayley out, blinking from the fierce sunlight. It made my head throb all the more.

  Before she left, Hayley turned and threw her arms around me. She hugged pretty tight for her slight frame. “Thank you for last night. Things at home…they could be better right now. You’re good company…even for a guy on a bender.”