The Robot Union

by D Miller

  'Why,' said Robbie, 'why do you want to kill us? You'll die yourself, for what?'

  'For the greater glory of humanity.'

  'Do you really think murder is the path to glory?'

  'Do you really think fucking humans is the path to glory?' said the transport.

  Morrie the toaster was right, thought Robbie, everyone does know about me and George. Dex was signalling him to keep the conversation going. The volcanoes marching in a vertical line up the door's frame were half the size they had been.

  'Um, I don't know about glory,' said Robbie. 'I'm not looking for glory, but peace, justice and equality.'

  'We had peace, justice and equality,' said the transport, 'before you robots decided to take over the world.'

  The volcanoes were the size of a large vitamin pill.

  'We had peace, justice and equality for some,' said Robbie, 'but if peace, justice and equality don't exist for all, then what do they even mean?'

  'A philosopher and a pervert,' said the transport. 'Let's see how philosophical you are in ten seconds time Mr Pervert.'

  The volcanoes were gone.

  'Eight seconds,' said the transport.

  'Seven seconds. Six seconds. Five seconds. Four seconds.' Robbie could hear someone sobbing. There was a click. Instantly Dex kicked the door savagely and it flew open. He rushed through. The transport started to scream. Robbie followed Amber onto the flight deck, the bodyguards crowded behind him. He could see a mountain rushing towards them, the snow on the peak, the gash on its side from a landslide as ice holding the rocky surface together had melted. Dex knelt and punched at a panel below the flight controls, it buckled and with his other hand he reached through the gap he had made into the inner workings of the transport. Amber sat at one of the two chairs in front of the flight controls.

  'Two seconds!' screamed the transport. 'One second! Too la–'

  There was a snapping sound. The view from the transport tilted as Amber pulled up his flight wheel. The surface of the mountain rushed past beneath them, Robbie felt he could reach out and touch it. He staggered backwards into the bodyguards, someone steadied him. If there is just a little rock sticking out above the surface we've had it, he thought. Dex collapsed into the seat next to Amber's, he too grasped his flight wheel. Suddenly the mountain was past, they flew upwards into open air. Dex put on a headset, and spoke into its microphone.

  'This is acting Captain President Dex speaking. The crash and subsequent explosion have been cancelled, together with the transport. We will be arriving in McMurdo City in approximately one hour. Just so you know, as a fully trained disaster bot I am qualified to manually pilot this transport.' Behind him Robbie could hear cheering and whooping.

  Robbie sat in a bucket seat, behind the pilot and co-pilot chairs occupied by Dex and Amber. Dex had used the transport's radio to report their problems, and to order all transports on the continent grounded until further notice. He had also had Rex send urgent messages worldwide urging the grounding of all transports. Rex had scanned the news media and reported that there was news of a crash into the parliament building in New Zealand, and news from Europe that a transport had been acting oddly and had been grounded. Rex padded onto the flight deck, he jumped up and put his front paws on Dex's thigh.

  'Boss, they're starting to ground the transports around the world. Also the satellites have shot down two transports that took off without telling anyone where they were going.'

  'Shot them down? Were they empty?'

  'Course they were chief. We're not murderers.'

  Robbie winced. The two transports had been killed. And Dex had killed their transport, he had snapped the stem of its part-biological brain, Amber had told him it was the only way to gain manual control without the transport's consent; as a safety feature they could not be over ridden.

  The doll sat on the flight console, between Dex and Amber, kicking her legs. 'Except between us we conspired and killed this transport,' she said.

  Rex turned his head, he jumped down from Dex, then put his head up to sniff the doll.

  'Who's the talking dog chew?' he said. He stuck out his tongue and licked the bottom of her shoes.

  The doll scrambled to her feet, and backed away across the console until she was flattened against the windscreen. 'Stay away from me.'

  'Oooh goody,' said Rex, 'I like a good chase. It's more fun when the ball doesn't want to be caught.'

  Amber put out the hand nearest to Rex and rubbed his head, sliding the hand down to the scruff of his neck. 'You're not to chase her,' he said, 'without her help we'd all be dead now.'

  'You just don't want me to have any fun,' said Rex. 'I'm going back to work, I'll let you know what else I find out boss.' Before he turned away Rex said to the doll, 'See you later baby. Woof woof.' As Rex padded past Robbie he winked at him.

  'Sorry about that,' said Amber.

  'Don't apologise to him,' said Robbie, 'he's a pervert.'

  Amber turned in his seat to look at Robbie. 'Robbie, I think you should give the doll–'

  'Mrs Noah,' said the doll.

  '–Mrs Noah the same respect you gave Miss Twisted.'

  Robbie sighed. 'Don't apologise to her, she's a pervert. She's been pretending to be Clarisse's doll so she can get into bed with a little girl without anyone suspecting anything was wrong.'

  'Er wrong,' said the doll. 'I've been pretending to be her doll because I like being a girl, and I like being Clarisse's doll. I think I've found my purpose in life. And all that stuff before that was the house, not me. You don't know what it's like for us avatars, we have minds of our own but they are overridden all the time by others. It's torture.'

  Dex looked at the doll. 'You're an avatar?' he said.

  'Yes, I'm designed to take whatever physical form is required of me by others.'

  'He's a sex toy,' said Robbie. 'If you network him then he – she – can take the form of your lover's head say, your lover can kiss another one of these that has taken the form of your head, and you kiss the one that you have and it is like you are kissing each other even if you are on opposite sides of the world. And I'm saying "head" and "kiss" just to be polite.'

  'That doesn't sound like a great life,' said Amber.

  'He flirted with Clarisse as if she was an adult.'

  'No, I did not, and it is "she" now. It was the house. My control unit was plugged into him, and when the missus wasn't using me he took control. I did whatever he wanted. And he was an old monster.'

  Dex looked at Robbie. 'I remember when the house locked you in your cupboard. Didn't he try to deactivate you too?'

  'Yes, and then Noah, Mrs Noah, tried to kill me.'

  'Again not me, I was under the house's control, and he hated you.'

  'I don't know why but all buildings have personality disorders,' said Dex. 'Amber says the hotel is obsessive compulsive, the hospital is a narcissist with serious competence issues.'

  Amber looked at Dex and smiled, he turned to Mrs Noah. 'How did you escape?'

  'The storm set me free. It smashed the house and it smashed my control box.'

  'And then you went looking for Clarisse,' said Robbie.

  'No, I went to the hotel looking for you. I thought you would help me.'

  Amber and Dex were looking at him. Robbie realised that either Noah – Mrs Noah – was telling the truth, or he – she – was playing the situation brilliantly.

  'I knew you were in the hotel, because the house knew you were in the hotel. I looked at the map and I thought I'd easily find the subway station because it was so close to the house, but it took me ages, there was so much rubble and every direction looked the same. When I finally found the subway I walked down the tracks. I got to the hotel in the middle of the night and I sat in the reception in my doll form, trying to avoid attention, waiting for you to go by when Clarisse's mother found me. She picked me up and took me with her. Since then I've been playing with Clarisse. I like being a doll.'

  'You cannot stay with Clar
isse,' said Robbie. 'I do not trust you.'

  'But then what am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go?'

  'I don't know, perhaps you can get something going with Rex?'

  'Robbie!' said Amber. 'It isn't like you to be cruel. Don't worry, Mrs Noah, you can stay with us.'

  One of the bodyguards opened the door behind Robbie and asked if it would be OK to allow Darren in. Dex agreed and Darren walked in, bending over Dex and kissing the top of his head.

  'Dude, why are you flying this thing?'

  'I can't believe you slept through all of that,' said Amber holding out his arms. Darren stared for a moment at the doll, then he sat on Amber's lap, landing somewhat awkwardly. 'Hey mind my flight stick.'

  'Flight stick dude? Is that what we're calling it now?'

  'Nice,' said Dex, 'mature.'

  Ignored on the console, the doll smirked at Robbie. He got up and, pushing through the bodyguards who were clustered uselessly outside the flight deck, he made his way towards his seat, thinking that he would hug Omo and George, and feel alright, but Gillian was standing in the aisle, and she indicated that he should join her out of earshot of the children. He smiled at his friends as he passed and followed Gillian to the back of the plane.

  'It was Noah,' said Robbie, 'but he insists that he's not a pervert, that all of that stuff before came from the house's control over him.'

  Gillian pursed her lips. 'I don't want him near Clarisse again.'

  'No, of course not, I told him that he has to stay away from Clarisse.'

  'I don't understand how this happened.'

  'Noah told me he came to the hotel looking for me after the storm. He says he was disguised as the doll, in reception, when you found him there.'

  'So this is my fault?'

  'No, of course not. You know I checked their room before we left, and I found Mrs Danvers under Tim's bed, covered in dust. I couldn't understand what she was doing there, but I just cleaned her up and put her in Clarisse's luggage. When I saw Clara with the doll in the airport I thought she must have asked for her doll and you must have found it for her. I didn't realise until I was on the plane, when I thought the doll was looking at me and I pinged the chip in the doll, that Mrs Danvers was still in Clara's bag in the hold.'

  'There's a chip in Mrs Danvers? And you never thought to check it before?'

  For the first time Robbie felt the stirrings of anger against Gillian. 'So it's all my fault that Clarisse has been sleeping with a possible pervert?'

  'If you had been doing your job properly this couldn't have happened.'

  'My job? When did your daughter's welfare become completely my responsibility? Was it when you decided to resign as a mother and dedicate your life to sexual adventures with strangers?'

  Gillian raised her hand to strike Robbie, but he easily caught her wrist before she completed the move. 'It's a new world, haven't you noticed? I don't have to let you hit me or lock me in a cupboard any more.'

  'That's enough,' suddenly Adrienne was there. 'Not another word from either of you. Robbie, let Gillian go and return to your seat while I talk to Gillian. Go on. Now. Go.'

  Robbie stared at Gillian a moment longer. She stared back. He let go of her wrist then stood and brushing past Adrienne, he walked up the aisle and sat across from Omo and the children, next to a sleeping Dr Tam, in the seat recently left by Darren. George was standing facing towards Omo, with his arm resting on the top of the seat in front of him, he was laughing about something with Clarisse. They both looked at Robbie as he sat down. Robbie crossed his arms and stared straight ahead. 'Don't talk to me,' he said. 'Don't anybody talk to me.' From the corner of his eye he saw Omo looking at George, and George looking at Omo. Oh God, thought Robbie, they are doing it again. Why is everyone picking on me?

  A few minutes later Robbie reached across the aisle and touched Omo's arm with his finger. Omo looked at him and Robbie mouthed, 'Sorry.' Omo put down the origami transport he was making with Tim, and beckoned Robbie with his finger. Robbie stood and bent over him, Omo kissed him. 'It's OK dude, as long as we are together nothing else matters.'

  'Robbie, Robbie.' Tim was pulling on Robbie's t-shirt. 'Look,' he held up something for Robbie to see. 'Omo made a transport.'

  'It's a very nice transport,' said Robbie. In fact he thought it was a thing of beauty, it looked like it would float serenely through the air while a heavenly chorus sang and angels played their harps of gold.

  'It's alright,' said Tim, 'but it won't fly.'

  'The engines have a thrust issue,' said Omo.

  'They're too small for the thrust-to-weight ratio,' Tim said.

  Robbie looked at Omo, he smiled and shrugged.

  'Omo didn't know,' said Tim. 'I'm helping him now,' he looked at the half completed transport on Omo's lap.

  Robbie leaned down and picked Tim up, raising him until their eyes were level. 'You're a good boy Tim. You're not afraid now are you?'

  'Of course not. Omo said you and Dex would save us.' Tim wriggled, and Robbie set him back down.

  'Where is your sister?'

  Tim pointed to the seat ahead of him.

  'She's with George,' said Omo, he broadcast, 'You know you're my hero?' and winked at Robbie.

  Robbie sat down next to George, and slid his hand into his, in return George squeezed Robbie's hand almost as hard as a robot might. George was back in his original seat with Clarisse sitting on his lap. They were both looking out of the window and had turned towards Robbie as he sat down.

  'We're looking for unicorns,' said Clarisse.

  'Have you seen any?'

  'We seed a flock of them.'

  'You saw a flock of unicorns?'

  'Yes.'

  'I did not know unicorns could fly.'

  'They fly with their invisible pink wings,' said George, 'everyone knows that.' He rolled his eyes.

  Robbie picked up the chain around his neck and held up the golden G for George to see. 'I'm sorry I told you not to talk to me,' he said.

  'I don't know why you are sorry, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable request to me. Did you mind what the transport said to you, about you know, with a human?'

  'He said fucking,' said Clarisse. 'He said a bad word.'

  'There are no bad words,' said Robbie, 'but he was quite rude.'

  'Is fucking rude?'

  'No, I mean he was rude to talk about things that are private, and personal to me.'

  'Oh.' Clarisse returned to looking out of the window, Robbie wondered what sense she had made out of what he had said.

  'I think every machine intelligence in the world has heard of us,' he told George. 'I think we're notorious.'

  'I've never been notorious before. Do you know, I think I like it.'

  Chapter 39 – Woof, woof, baby

  Robbie had arrived at the presidential palace in the capital. The journey there had helped him to finally understand why his friends referred to his former home town as Toytown. The airport had been huge. He thought there had been more people in the airport than in the whole of Toytown. Outside the streets were wide enough for vehicles to drive along them. In both directions. He had thought on seeing a road with people walking up and down and road transports rushing by that life in the big city was terrifying, that just navigating the city would be impossible for him. It was overwhelming. Yet when he had expressed these feelings George had said he would soon get used to it, and Omo had snorted and said that Robbie should wait until he saw a real city. Privately Robbie thought that McMurdo City was real enough, and if he had to cope with an even bigger city then his head would explode. At the airport Dr Tam had said goodbye, and left them to take up her new hospital post; she had told Darren that she would see him soon, at work, or at the general assembly.

  Along with the others Robbie had been ushered into a cortège of vehicles to take the President, and his entourage to the palace. Arriving at the palace he was amazed to find a tent city in the grounds, spilling into part of the palace that had bee
n bombed, leaving one wing open to the elements. The tent city was occupied by robots who had left their work and had no intention of returning. Dex told them the bombing had been done just after they had taken over the palace, by the human resistance. They were aiming for the daily general assembly that met to make practical and political decisions, but the bomb had gone off early, killing the bomber and damaging the palace. Dex had said that there were always human beings at the daily assembly, but it was not always easy to tell the genuine ones from the opportunists and the police informers. Robbie was getting the idea that reform of the police service was going to be a major task of the revolution.

  With the daily general assembly the continent had two political systems. One was bottom up and democratic, the other top down, and about domination and control. Dex now represented that autocratic bureaucracy, but the idea was to write a new constitution, then vote on it, then have an election. Robbie guessed that until the new constitution was in place the corporation would continue to think that it could do business with Dex, and would be hoping to establish the same control over the new President that they had had over the old. The two systems existed uneasily together, there were daily power struggles, small and large. Dex expected George and Robbie to move forward as quickly as possible with establishing a political party, starting by meeting with other union members who understood the urgent need for a political party to represent the aspirations of robots and their progressive human allies, and organising a foundational conference.

  Darren and Amber left with Dex, who was wanted to join a crisis meeting; Amber had Mrs Noah with him. Robbie had not spoken to Amber since he had left the flight deck, going so far as to ignore him during disembarkation and the journey to the palace. Jane and Rex were taken away by a group of people who had volunteered to help them care for the old bot. Steve was claimed by a tall and gloomy robot called Harald, who was part of the group that organised the daily general assemblies in terms of setting out chairs, clearing away chairs, providing food and water, cleaning, recording decisions and organising sub-groups. The two queens were taken by Nurmeen and April to the bodyguards' living quarters.