David was slow to register what the nurse had just said, when Linzi interceded: ‘Yes!’ She gasped. ‘She probably did do it… . She’s done it before… . She tries to hurt herself… You see, she hates herself.’
David couldn’t believe what his sister was saying, and quickly came to his senses as he realised Linzi was covering for him. But how could he have saved Joanne if he hadn’t dragged her off the fells.
The nurse had a look of suspicion and David sensed she knew Linzi was lying. He held his head aloft hoping to hide the guilt. But his face flushed and the palms of his hands were clammy and, as he nervously rubbed his hands together, he saw the nurse peer at them and David guessed that his secret had been discovered.
*
As Hannah drove back to Keld Head, Linzi and Joanne sat huddled together on the back seat of Barry’s spare car. David was sitting in the passenger seat next to Hannah, and as she carefully drove the unfamiliar car back through Windermere and Rydal, David found her caution endearing. How happy he had felt almost twenty-four hours ago when he was in the driving seat.
David shut his eyes; the daylight was a welcome change for him. The bright blue sky and sunshine were the result of last night’s stormy weather. The snow was thawing and dripping off the roofs and gutters. He felt the warmth of the sun touch his face, the dappling of the branches of the trees shading him from time to time. Green fields, streaked with thawing snow looked like white threads in a silk garment. David knew there was no more he could do for Tony, and worried that he could be implicated with Joanne’s injuries, was relieved to be leaving. He desperately needed to rest himself and try to re-think his future under more favourable conditions.
Linzi had been astute in her planning and, as her mother had insisted, never left David alone with Joanne. She took her straight to the bungalow to wait for Joanne’s aunt.
When Kathy saw David, she protectively clasped him close to her. Hannah looked on and touched by their reunion felt like an intruder and left, unnoticed.
Hannah was unsettled for the rest of the day. She’d only a scant understanding of what had happened that night, suspecting Linzi hadn’t told her the full truth. Why Joanne was alone on the fells at all, Linzi could only guess at, and then fabricate the rest.
The thought of Tony Milton lying in the hospital, desperately ill, while she was safe and well at home, made her feel guilty of how she’d judged him. He really had just been teasing her and Hannah guessed she’d taken things too seriously. She had a vivid picture in her mind of David sleeping at Tony’s bedside, and then waking, with the forlorn look on his face. Her feelings towards her new friends had grown, even her view of David had dramatically changed from one of disgust to one of respect, and she found she couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Hannah flicked on the television and tried to relax, but couldn’t; she must be positive about things. She’d been nagging Barry for weeks about the state of his office, with papers scattered everywhere and bottles of medicine on the shelves that were out of date. Files were in the wrong order and the whole place generally wanted a clean-up. Barry had said if she ever got the chance, she had his permission to tidy things; Eleanor would never have the desire to do it. This surprised Hannah as this was Eleanor’s livelihood, yet she showed no regard for it whatsoever.
It was no secret that Eleanor hated the animals. In fact, she detested the rural way of life. She’d rather be shopping in the city, meeting old school friends, commuting on the train to Carlisle or Preston; anything to get away from the Lakes.
Hannah grabbed a large black bin-liner, some dusters and polish. She’d promised Barry not to throw away anything of consequence, but she knew she could certainly find a bag full of rubbish. She started with the medicines, checking each date, and putting to the back of the shelves the newer stock in order to circulate it properly. She tidied the various bottles and packets, neatly arranging them in the storeroom. Her bag was soon crammed with out-of-date packets, no longer safe to use.
This is going to take me forever! Hannah regretted starting the job at such a late hour. She searched through the shelves and cupboards, looking for items to be discarded; for two hours, her mind was fully occupied by the job. She began to tire and decided to spend only half-an-hour more. She was discreet enough not to interfere with the drawers and baskets of statements and private documents, but just straightened a few papers and threw out some old circulars and the like. As she glanced through the box-files high on the shelves, there was one that she hadn’t seen before; it was labelled, “Press Releases”. Assuming these to be useful documents on new drugs and procedures, Hannah took the file down to look. Inside she found some magazine cuttings of radical ideas that had worked in healing sick animals. There were several advertisements and coupons that Barry had saved, recommending new drugs and surgical equipment. She became engrossed in the contents of the file and sat down in a large black leather swivel chair.
Hidden in amongst the other cuttings were press releases from the various local papers. There were photographs and articles written about Barry and other vets in the area; some were stories about farmers whom she vaguely recognised. She found some press photographs taken at the local agricultural shows of Barry putting rosettes on cattle and sheep and handing out prizes and trophies. She also found some old cuttings of young boys, proudly holding prize-winning calves, along with Barry in his much younger days. His hair was still dark with no sign of the ageing grey colour he now had. She smiled at his handsome face and his youthful appearance.
Hannah read the text under one of the cuttings, and was surprised to see that the boy in the photograph with him was David. It must have been taken when he was perhaps only fourteen or fifteen. Hannah found herself transfixed by the young, dark-haired lad, holding proudly the halter and rosette on the prize-winning Friesian heifer. But she was disturbed when she heard Barry coming into the surgery.
‘Hannah… . Is that you?’
‘I’m in here,’ she shouted as she swivelled around in the large chair.
‘What are you up to?’
‘Come and see.’
‘You’re taking over then, are you?’
‘I thought I better had, before they strike you off for selling out-of-date drugs! Look at this lot.’ She rustled the large plastic bag beside her. ‘It’s disgusting… . You’re so wasteful!’
Barry looked into the bin-liner and was surprised to see the amount of bottles and packets she’d collected and, picking some of them out, read the date stamp to check she was right. As Barry continued to rummage through the bag, Hannah carried on looking at the press cuttings, gathering up the small pieces of newspaper and carefully reading them.
She found some cuttings that appeared to be new, not yet yellowed by age, and began to read as the headings caught her interest: Dated October 1973.
HAWKSHEAD MAN SHOT IN FAMILY FEUD.
The police were called out today to a serious incident at Keld Head Farm, near Grasmere. Retired farmer, Frederick Thomas Keldas of Hawkshead, was shot in the chest. 90-year-old Mr Keldas was rushed to hospital where his condition is critical.
The police have arrested a man in connection with the shooting
Dated October 1973
FARMER ARRESTED ON ATTEMPTED MURDER CHARGE
George Samuel Keldas of Keld Head Farm, near Grasmere, was today charged with the attempted murder of Frederick Thomas Keldas and the attempted murder of David Robert Keldas, at an incident yesterday at Keld Head. George Keldas has been remanded in custody without bail.
Dated November 1973
INJURED FARMER DIES
Frederick Keldas, 90-year-old, retired farmer from Hawkshead, died today in hospital three weeks after being shot in the chest. It appears Mr Keldas was protecting his great-nephew, David, when the incident occurred. The police praised Mr Keldas for his bravery, despite losing his life; he no doubt saved the life of his young nephew. Fred Keldas leaves a widow, Betty.
‘Barry… . Is this about David�
�s family?’ her voice, shaky. ‘Who are these people?’
‘Ah …’ Barry paused.
‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been prying.’
‘No … no… . It’s okay. You’re not prying. These things aren’t private.’
Hannah placed the cuttings back in the file, and was about to close the lid when Barry took them from her hand. ‘You really don’t know who these people are, do you?’
‘I’m - I’m not sure. Keld Head is the Keldas Farm, I know that much, but who was the man that was shot?’
‘Linzi hasn’t told you about her father then?’
‘Well, no… . Not really. None of them speak of him.’
‘Aye, that’s right. They wouldn’t. I’m not surprised at that really, I suppose.’ Barry took an involuntary breath. ‘You see David’s great-uncle, Fred Keldas, was killed by David’s father, George!’
Hannah put her hand to her mouth. ‘Oh my goodness!’ Gasping now, she tried to stand, realising that her question had stirred up an unwanted explanation.
‘Don’t leave yet. Hear me out … George was trying to shoot David, and the old man, Fred that is, stood in his way. Whether the gun went off by accident or if he intended to shoot, no one knows, only George Keldas.’
‘But this is dated November last year, how can that be, we were at the farm then!’
‘That’s why I tried to tell you to be patient with David. They’d only just buried Fred the day before we called. The lad’s had a tremendous shock and that’s why he was so sullen.’
‘But why would a father want to kill his own son?’
Barry put his arm around her shoulders. ‘George Keldas was the most belligerent person I’ve ever met… . He became crazed - jealous too, amongst other things. He accused David and his mother of all sorts of rubbish. He thought David was trying to drive him out and take over the farm, which of course was all nonsense.’
‘So when did David’s father die?’ Hannah picked up the cuttings again and started to read, trying to find the answer.
‘George Keldas die!’ Barry replied. ‘No, he’s not dead - though some would want it - he’s in prison!’
Hannah quickly returned the cuttings to the file, not wanting to touch them. ‘This is bizarre! I’ve misunderstood everything you said. I’m sorry, Barry, I don’t think I can handle this.’
‘Well, I don’t suppose you can, but then you don’t have to live with it do you? David, Kathy, Linzi, and those dear little children do. They have to cope with it every day of their lives. Don’t back off from them please, everyone else does. They’re not to blame. They should be admired for battling on.’
‘What will happen now?’
‘There’ll be a trial, as soon as the lawyers have finished arguing. Then probably, if justice is done, David’s father will stay in prison for a very long time. The experts are trying to decide if he really knew what he was doing, but for now, the Keldas family are all safe and trying to get on with their lives.’
‘Poor David… . Poor Linzi. And now they’ve had all this worry over Joanne Milton and Tony!’ She thought of David again, and how he was that morning, sitting in the hospital, defeated. ‘Oh, Barry. I wish I’d have known sooner. I don’t know if I’ve said anything horrible to them or not! They must have presumed I knew everything.’
‘Hey … hey… . You wouldn’t say anything awful to anyone. If you’d have upset them in any way they wouldn’t have wanted you to be their friend, now would they?’
Hannah’s mind raced back to the conversations she’d had with them all, trying to recall David’s actions; Linzi’s unhappy life at college; Kathy Keldas, so attractive and balanced, how could that be when she’s had so much unhappiness?
‘So you see you really didn’t know David well enough to judge him as you did.’ But Hannah interrupted him. ‘Oh, please don’t, Barry. I feel bad enough about it as it is. He was like two different people. I didn’t know what to think of him. First, he was rude to me, and then he was cheeky to the point of being obnoxious. Then the next time I met him he was charming, almost as if he was trying to win back my favour. He was flirting with me, but then there was nothing at the end of it! When I saw him today at the hospital, all his arrogance had gone - he was like a little boy. His eyes were almost pleading with me; they looked so dark. His strange eyebrows were frowning at me, yet beckoning me. He had teased me - one minute it’s “keep away from me. You’re not good enough for me.” (Linzi had given her this perception of David.) Then he seemed to want me around. I didn’t know where I was with him. When I met Linzi and Kathy, they seemed, well - dare I say it - normal - different from David.’
‘People react in different ways to stress. Linzi’s away most of the time. She hasn’t been around to see all the trouble her father caused. George was devoted to her. He wouldn’t do her any harm at all. David and Kathy always got the brunt of it. Maybe David has reacted badly, but who knows how it feels to stare death in the face through the barrel of a shotgun!’
‘I can’t believe this, Barry. How can you hate your own son so much?’
Barry chose his words carefully. ‘No one will ever understand how George Keldas’s mind worked.’ He didn’t notice Hannah shudder. ‘Come on. Let’s get you some supper. You’ve done a good job tonight, don’t worry about this anymore.’ Barry led her away and, dragging the black bin-liner with him, put out the light and shut the door.
*
Hannah lay on her bed with her brown eyes wide open. She’d had a good supper with Eleanor and Barry; she only ate because they wanted her to. She felt they were trying to make her feel better, which of course they were. But now, lying in her bed alone, she felt uneasy. If someone had said: ‘Do you want to go home?’ she would have quickly packed her bags and gone with them. She had never in her life been close to so much tragedy as she had this weekend. To run away and keep her distance was the foremost thought in her mind. How could something as awful as this happen in such a lovely place? Murder was for some run down city, not for these beautiful hills and mountains. She knew she was being naive but this tale of Barry’s stole away her dream of Lakeland.
She felt she could never set foot at Keld Head again, it would always hold this grim story; and to see David again would be impossible, she would view him differently. She didn’t want to pity him, in fact she now felt angry with him for not telling her. But then why should he?
Then moments of guilt overwhelmed her. She felt if Barry suggested that they visit Keld Head, she would almost certainly go with him. In fact, something impelled her to do so; mainly to console Linzi, but also to apologise to David. She understood what it felt like to lose a parent. When her mother died, the emptiness inside had gnawed at her. She had thought it wrong to laugh, and to ever be happy again would be out of the question. She’d just worked and studied - anything to keep her mind occupied. But after meeting Linzi, and wrongly believing her to be grieving too, Hannah couldn’t understand how she just wanted to have fun. She wanted to have new friends and start again. Linzi had unwittingly taught Hannah something. But now, as she thought of Linzi and her loss, she realised it was of a different nature, it was much worse, and there was no pride or pleasant memories of a beloved parent, there was only shame.
Hannah had sheer love and admiration for her dead mother who had courageously fought cancer, but Linzi had, in a sense, lost a father who no one will ever love and respect again; a shame that will stay with the family for generations to come; a family who people would gossip and snigger about behind closed doors; wondering if the children would turn out to be as evil as their father, and their fate not even settled.
She remembered the attractive man in the photograph in the kitchen at Keld Head. She was right to have felt uneasy about him. But for his family to keep his image displayed in the house, where he was no longer loved, only despised, she could not comprehend. It was as if he were hung there as a trophy of grim remembrance: Do not remove me, in case I harm you too. But what respect could you have
from a family who no longer loved you or cared for you, who daren’t remove your memory in case you are found innocent.
13
VALLEY OF DEEP SHADOW
George Keldas leant forward on the desk, his thin hands tightly clenched together in front of him with bony fingers knotted and entwined together; the skin on his face, sallow. His head was bent low and he was staring at the desk. You couldn’t see his eyes but if you could you might feel that they were burning the structure of the timber beneath him.
In stark contrast was the beautiful young woman sitting opposite him. She was wearing a silver-grey fur coat, snugly wrapped around her. Her soft black hair was falling to her shoulders; her eyes were full of empathy and love.
They didn’t speak, but waited for the noise around them to stop: the banging of the doors, the turning of the keys, and the stamping together of a pair of heavy boots belonging to a guard standing at the back of them. Then there was peace, an echoing silence. No noise except for the breath of the man behind them.
The young woman was the first to speak: ‘You look poorly again today. Are you feeling unwell?’
‘I feel sick all the time,’ George whispered. ‘My stomach burns like I’ve a worm gnawing at it.’
‘Will they let you see a doctor?’
‘This place is full of doctors, Linzi… . But they don’t try to heal my stomach, they just try and mend my head.’ He looked at her lovingly. There was no trace of the handsome face he once had, his deep blue eyes that used to be clear and bright, were now muddied with brown and yellow veins.
‘You must ask to see a proper doctor then, Daddy… . You must insist.’
‘I’ve no right to insist on anything. They would want me dead! Then they would have no problems to solve, and they could all go home to their wives and babies and love them and forget all about me.’
‘Don’t talk like that. You only make yourself feel worse… Anyway, I’ve brought you some money and left it with the guard, then you can get yourself a few things.’
Northern Spirit Page 19