Labeled Love

by Danielle Rocco

  She does.

  Her tongue finds mine, and we kiss like we were made to kiss each other. It’s not fast and sloppy. It’s not wet and wild. It’s slow. Our mouths move over each other’s slowly. Running my fingers through her hair, I let her tongue find mine. I don’t want this kiss to end. I’m lost in everything Shay is giving me. I feel myself climbing, and not the climbing you’re thinking. Well, yeah, probably the climbing you’re thinking. But, really, I just started climbing the mountain. I bring my hands through her soft, long hair that I love and hold her face again as we come up for air.

  When our lips separate, her eyes flutter open and land on mine. I will never forget the way she looks or how she feels at this moment: warm soft cheeks, pouty pink lips, hooded soft eyes, and the tone in her voice as she quietly whispers my name. There is no way I can ever be without this girl.

  Shay smiles brightly. I put my forehead against hers. “I just want you to know how I feel about you. I just want you to know you are the best thing in my life, Shay,” I whisper softly with her taste all over my lips and her love embedded in my heart. “Be my girl, baby.”

  She quietly whispers back to me, “I thought I was.” Then she giggles.

  I can’t help but smile as I look down into her sassy face. “I know you are. I just wanted to say it. I like hearing you say you’re mine.”

  “I will always be yours, Jace.” She bites down on her bottom lip with a smile. “Please tell me what happened to your eye. This doesn’t look like you hit it on a cabinet door like the last time. Please tell me.”

  This time when I bring her face to mine, she puts her hands over mine as they cup her face. I capture her lips again. She taste like home and happiness. She taste like forever. “Baby, just kiss me. I don’t want you to worry about it. Nothing matters but how we feel about each other. This…” I raise my eyebrow through the pain, bringing the focus to where her attention now lies. “This means nothing.” Then I pull her in for another kiss and whisper against her lips, “This means everything.” I kiss her. She kisses me back.

  “I love you, Jace. If you tell me it means nothing, then I will let it go. But—”

  “It’s nothing, pretty girl,” I interrupt her. “Princesses don’t have to worry about bruised eyes.” I give her a sly smile. “Okay?” I say to her in a low whisper as I place another kiss on her pouty lips.

  “Okay, baby,” she says in her sweet-sweet voice.

  This is it. Remember when I said I thought it was cool when I’d watch a movie, and the man would do anything for his woman? He’d move mountains for her. Well, I will move mountains to be with Shay. You know, the girl of my dreams.

  We kiss… and kiss… and kiss.

  When our lips part, she says quietly with a flushed face, “You finally kissed me.”

  “Yeah, baby, I finally kissed you.” I grin. “Now that I have, you will probably get really sick of my lips.”

  She leans in and says, “Never. I will never get sick of your lips. Nope, never-ever–ever. Just not possible.” She breaks away from me and reaches into her back pocket. I don’t even have to ask what she’s doing. She pulls out her phone and hands it to me. “We need a picture memory of the first day you gave me your lips.” I raise her phone in front of us. I look down at her while she reaches up and says, “Give me your lips, baby.” When our lips meet, I take the picture. “Yay!” she squeals adorably. Damn, she is so cute.

  “I love you, baby. I really, really love you.” I bring my eyes to hers, letting my heart speak to her. Tilting my head to one side, my hair falls into my eyes. “Do you love me, baby?” I ask seriously.

  She takes her hands, moving my hair away from my eyes. In my favorite voice, she says, “I love you more than anything, Jace.”

  That’s all I need to hear. I don’t care how steep that mountain is. I don’t care how hard or long I have to climb. I don’t ever want to know what being without her feels like.

  I FINALLY GOT my first real kiss!

  Dreams really do come true. Well, of course they do. My boy is so dreamy. I’d never told him what I’d wished for. He just did it.

  When Jace took my face in his hands and looked straight into my eyes, asking me for a kiss, I think my heart was doing a little happy dance inside my chest. I can still see how his pale blue eyes bore into mine while he guided his lips to mine. Not just any kiss—my very first kiss. Just like the way my dad kisses my mom.

  The best first kiss ever.

  Looks like I just missed the “Sweet sixteen and never been kissed” quote my mom always bragged about. I think she just told me she didn’t get her first kiss until she turned sixteen so I would wait my first kiss out, too. But, yeah, that didn’t happen, even if it was only just shy of my birthday.

  I sigh.

  I was so lost in the most romantic first kiss ever that I didn’t pester Jace about his bruised eye. I know he doesn’t want me to worry, but I still wish he would tell me. Fragile… fragile... fragile. I’m surprised he hasn’t nicknamed me his little Fragile-lina since he feels he needs to protect me.

  I RUSH HOME and text Jules. Not that I want to be one of those girls that kisses and tells, but come on, I have to tell my best friend that my sweet, gorgeous boy finally gave me his lips and tongue.

  Me: Guess what?

  Jules: You bought a dress.

  Me: Why would that be a big deal?

  Jules: Because you never wear dresses.

  I smile at her last text. It’s true. I’m not much of a dress girl. Not like Jules. Her closet is like walking into the dressing room of Blaire from Gossip Girl.

  Me: Yeah, you’re right, but this is way more exciting.

  Jules: Do tell??

  Me: Jace kissed me today! :)

  Jules: WHAT??

  I chuckle.

  Jules: I’m coming over. Get ready to spill all the details!!

  After I clear the screen, I throw my cell phone onto my bed and change into some yoga pants and a tank top that reads, “Call My Agent”. It’s so cute.

  Jules gets here in record time. She’s already turned sixteen and in love with her brand new Range Rover. She walks right into my bedroom wearing a black sundress and pushing her sunglasses on top of her head. Twirling her long blonde hair around her freshly painted fingernails, she says excitedly, “Spill the beans.”

  “I’m not going to go into full-on details.”

  “Don’t be a dud, Shay.” She rolls her eyes at me. “You’ve been with this boy since you were a tween, and you finally had your first kiss. My God, he waited long enough. Tell me. Was it magical? Was it fairy tale-ish? Was it soft? Sweet? Or did he take those sexy lips of his and devour you, sticking his tongue down your throat like a starved puppy?” She pauses. “Hello??”

  After waiting, I giggle so hard I almost pee my pants with her over-the-top dramatics. “I was just waiting for you to finish. I wanted to see if you’d pass out from not breathing the entire time you rambled, or if you’d get wet panties thinking about Jace’s sexy lips.”

  “First,” she says, “I can do a lot with one breath. You know how long I can stay under water. Second, I will never… um… get…,” she uses air quotes, “‘moist’ over Jace’s lips. He does have really great lips, though.” She smiles. “And, that’s because I’m the best, best friend ever. Besides, that’s a written rule. No dipping where your best girl has been kissing.”

  Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes while lifting my shoulders and say, “First of all, don’t ever say the word ‘moist’. You know that is the worst, cringe-worthy word we read in our romance books. The only time you should say ‘moist’ is when you’re talking about a cake. Second, all you need to know is Jace kissed me like every single movie kiss we’ve ever drooled over and every single book we’ve ever read that made it to our favorite shelf. Wait. Jace’s kiss was so much better than any other first kiss we’ve ever read about. Those fictional boys don’t even compare to my boy.”

  “Even our favorite, perfect—”r />
  “Oh my God, his kiss didn’t compare.”

  “Tell me,” she says impatiently.

  “He took my face in his strong hands and brought me to him. I swear, Jules, it was like in slow motion, and when his lips met mine, it was perfection. He was slow, sweet, and he held me like I was the most precious thing in the world to him.” I hear her sigh, but I continue, lost in the moment. Falling back onto my bed, I grab one of my pretty pillows and hug it close to me. “It was the best first kiss a girl could ever wish for. Like, I’m not even kidding. We need to figure out how to make today National Kissing Day.” Now I’m sighing. Jules lies back on my bed and looks at me.

  “That good, huh? Like calendar worthy?”

  “Totally calendar worthy. My lips will never be the same.” I reach up with my fingers and run them over my lips with a grin. “God, I love that boy. He is so beautiful. I love the way he loves me. How he holds me, and how looks at me is… It’s forever, Jules. I just know it.”

  “Oh my God! Now you’re making me sick. When Michael Morton gave me my first kiss, I almost asked Brett to give me a redo. It was that bad. I mean, his tongue was going a hundred miles an hour, and he was so busy trying to grab my butt that I swear I thought he was trying to spank me, and not in the good way the books talk about, either. It was awful.”

  I giggle. “It must have been awful if you wanted Brett to kiss it away.”

  “Really bad,” Jules says. Then her lips turn up. “You know, kissing Brett wouldn’t be half bad. Kind of weird because he’s like a brother, but hey, he’s not.” She raises her eyebrows. “Do you have something to tell me, Jules?”

  “Absolutely not! I have not, will not, go there. Unless I’m drunk…”

  “You’ve never been drunk.”

  “I know. See, I will never go there.” We stare at each other, all smiles.

  “Jules, I’m so in love with Jace. I can’t explain it. I just know that he is the only boy for me.”

  “You don’t have to explain yourself. You know how you feel better than anyone else does. You’re in love, and honestly, what’s not to love? Jace is so dreamy. I mean, look at his hair. That’s enough to make me fall in love.”

  “He does have the best hair. He has the best everything, especially his heart.”

  She throws a pillow at me. “Oh my God! All the feels, I can’t take it!”

  Laughing, I say, “Well, I knew the day I met him that I never wanted to be without him.”

  “Yeah, yeah, he’s so perfect. So, did you get tingly between your legs?”

  “Jules!”

  “What? I’m your best friend! Aren’t you supposed to tell me all your dirty little secrets?”

  Looking at her, I turn her question on her. “Has anyone ever made you tingly between your legs?”

  Scowling, she answers, “Maybe.”

  “Who?”

  “I’m not telling.” Her cheeks get red.

  “J-u-l-e-s is embarrassed.”

  “I’m not embarrassed. I’ve only felt it once, but it doesn’t matter.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he would never feel anything for me.”

  “How do you know?”

  “I just know.”

  “Okay, now you have to tell me who it is.”

  “Nope. Some things have to stay in the closet.”

  “What happened to telling your best friend everything?” I say.

  “Haven’t you ever heard the saying about every woman has things she hides in her closet?”

  “Um… no,” I tell her.

  “Well, I’m probably saying it wrong. It’s something like that. Anyway, don’t you remember the old lady at the beginning of Titanic saying that?”

  “No.”

  “How do you not remember that, Shay? That’s such an important part of the movie. It’s pretty much her confession of love for Jack. Man, I’m so disappointed in you. We’re going to have to watch that again. I need to know you felt that moment. You are totally slacking. Look up the damn saying, Shay. It’s going to drive me nuts now.”

  “I’m not looking it up. Besides, we’re not women. We’re teenage girls, and we’re supposed to vomit every secret from our traitor-filled mouths. That’s what gossip is for.”

  Jules looks at me while she puts one of my pillows over her face, muffling her voice. “No-can-do… This one is going in the closet of untold secrets.”

  “You’re just mean, Jules.”

  “Maybe. But I’ll never tell.” She starts laughing. “You remember when we watched that old, horror movie with the pretty girl with the huge brown eyes all scary in the jail cell?” she asks.

  I take the pillow from her face and say, “You’d be freakin’ scary looking, too, if you were in jail. I can’t imagine you in a jail cell,” I say jokingly.

  “Yeah, right. I would die just from what the inmates have to wear. Could you imagine wearing the same outfit every day? That would suck.”

  “I think it would suck more to actually be in jail, Jules.”

  “Well, yeah, of course. I’m just joking, you dork.”

  AFTER JULES LEAVES, I get ready for bed. While thinking about saying good-bye to Jace every week and how hard it is to walk away from him, I walk inside my closet and get out the first Valentine’s card he gave me. It’s so cute. I still have the letter he wrote me sitting inside it. I love looking at it.

  “I just want you to know how I feel.”

  I run my fingers over that line. One thing about Jace is he always shows me how he feels about me.

  I HAVE A long week ahead with cheerleading. We practice every day during football season, and I constantly pray my Wednesdays remain free. I’m not holding my breath, though.

  High school activities and my siblings getting older have made things difficult. Mom has been hinting that she will have to stop volunteering. I lie on my bed staring at the ceiling. Slowly, without any thought except the longing to talk to Jace, I begin to hum the melody that brings me peace. Our song.

  I’ll give you all I‘ve got… You are my moon and stars… You hold the key

  You will always be enough… You hold the key… to… this… heart

  I really should record the song when I finish it. Continuing to hum, I look down at my cell phone and scroll through all my contacts, searching for the one name I long for, but never see. It seems so unfair that we have to always have a silent separation, when others get to connect whenever they want. You know the saying “God will never give you more than you can handle”? Obviously, God thought Jace and I were strong enough to withstand separation. Waiting every week to see him is torture. He knows what I’m doing, and that’s because I tell him my whole weekly calendar, but I don’t know what he’s doing. This isn’t about trust, though. I trust Jace with my whole heart. This is about not knowing if he’s all right. Remnants of a black eye he didn’t want to tell me about, as well as never wanting to talk about school or his home life, make me worry. I just wish I knew if he needed help. Here I am living in luxury, and he’s definitely not. I’m not a judgmental person. I wasn’t raised to be. I just feel guilty that I’m here, and he’s there.

  I try to focus on the positive, so I think about his lips. We went from no kissing to I-think-our-tongues-got-married-this-week. I’m pretty sure saying “I love you” between kisses sealed the deal.

  Did I mention Wednesday is my favorite day of the week? Well, it is, even if it’s slowly coming to an end. I hate spending so much time apart. I miss him when we’re not together, and my schedule is proving to get in the way.

  “WHEN ARE YOU going to sing your song for me?” Jace asks, pulling on my hair. He twirls it around his fingers while we sit under our tree.

  “Well, if you could hang out at my house sometime, you would have heard me singing it.”

  His face saddens. Those pale blue eyes look sincere as he stares into mine. “I’m sorry, baby.”

  “What are you sorry for?”

  “That I don’t have m
y own car to come see you.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that, Jace,” I say. His hand goes straight to his hair, tugging on it slightly.

  “I know, pretty girl. I wish…” He looks down, rubbing my hand lightly with his fingers. “You have pretty hands, baby.”

  My lips are tight, but I smile. I feel bad, like I hurt his feelings. “Jace? You know I don’t care if you have a car or not. I just get frustrated because I miss you so much when we can’t talk.”

  “Trust me, Shay. I have a hard time breathing properly when I’m away from you. Everything feels off when we’re apart.” His smile matches mine. Forced, but it’s there, because no matter what our circumstances, we just want to be together.

  I pick up my guitar, trying to change the mood. “So, yeah, about that song? It’s our song.” He chuckles. My sassy tone has lightened the mood. I start strumming, teasing him with tiny glimpses of the chorus. When I look up, his face gets serious, and he just stares at me.

  “Is this… Are you really playing our song right now?” he asks, his voice full of emotion. I nod and keep going.

  “You will always be enough… You hold the key… to… this… heart”

  His eyes never leave my mouth, as the chorus makes its way to his ears for the first time. I just look straight into his eyes as I sing from my heart. The way he’s looking at me tells me he loves what he hears. His feelings are always in the way he looks at me.

  “You sound pretty when you hum ‘our song’. Those words… I need to kiss you, baby.” I lean in, and he gives me a wet, sloppy kiss on my cheek. He’s so adorable that I don’t even wipe all his slobber off my face. He reaches up and wipes it for me. I stop singing to tell him, “You’re lucky I like you. That was gross.”

  “Like? I thought you loved me, baby.” I keep quiet. “Yeah, you definitely love me. Those are some sweet words, pretty girl. You really love me.” I roll my eyes. “Come on. Sing the rest of the song.”

  I let out a low sigh. Jace has on athletic shorts and a T-shirt with some random saying on it, but I can’t focus long enough to read what it says. I can really only concentrate on how it fits him: snug and stretching perfectly over his body. My boy is tough and sexy, making it pretty hard to deny him.